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Freedom from nicotine


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Something really interesting just happened.

 

I woke up a couple hours ago and like every morning, the first thing I did was reach for my nicotine product.

 

I've been using many years now. I'm basically a chain user.

 

I'd like to be free from it. So I read a bit of Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking. Like always, that book does make sense, and makes me feel inspired to quit.

 

Lots of thoughts that feel like despair and discouragement came up though. Can't quite believe that quitting could be easy, enjoyable, without cravings etc.

 

Though I started feeling a bit disgusted of the nicotine.

 

I went to the kitchen to drink some water, still feeling a bit disgusted of it all and felt like yeah maybe that was my last time using it. Hoped that it was. Would really have liked for it to be the last time, and would really have liked to suddenly, immediately be free from the addiction.

 

Then I went to the bathroom, dreamed of being free from the addiction. It felt quite great, almost like I was already free from it. As if I almost had made the choice to quit.

 

But suddenly when I walked out of the bathroom, a thought of using nicotine appeared, a craving hit, and I knew, was fully aware and decisive that I would not fight the craving. In ten seconds I was ingesting nicotine again.

 

It was kind of funny. It made no sense and I knew it. It had taken maybe 3 minutes from the bed to the kitchen and to the bathroom and back to ingesting nicotine again. There was no actual craving. That does not happen in three minutes. There was plenty of nicotine left in the bloodstream.

 

I felt this weird relief in that moment. It was as if I saw how helpless I am with it. I saw that fighting cravings could never actually make me free from the addiction. The only thing that could ever "work" would be that the desire to use nicotine would just disappear. Basically, what I need is a 'miracle'.

 

It also reminds me of the first two steps of the twelve step program they use in AA:

 

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.

 

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

 

That's exactly what it was like.

 

 

I am hopelessly believing thoughts. And even that is hopelessly believing thoughts.

 

 

I want to be free from the addiction, but I'm not sure what to do.

 

I guess if someone can do a miracle healing for me, that would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

 

There must be an effortless way.

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21 minutes ago, Mandy said:

What if nothing has any influence on you? Not this site, not these ideas, not a second you you call yourself, not that Allen Carr book, not the nicotine, nothing?

 

Maybe, but as I said, I'm helplessly believing thoughts. And even that is believing thoughts.

 

The interpretation of what you said is just absolute vs. relative. That there is a relative, false dream in which addiction is happening. And a true world where there's nothing to have influence over me. And the bridge between these worlds is not possible to cross.

 

That interpretation does not help to get rid of addiction.

 

 

There must be an effortless way.

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2 minutes ago, Phil said:

Bypass self referential thoughts (and all the suffering therein) with the acknowledgement of the emotion (powerlessness) felt. 

 

This is again something that I would be supposed to do or can succeed in or not succeed in, might or might not happen to me.

 

It's of course not what you mean but that's how it's helplessly interpreted as.

 

And the addiction is not going to end today.

 

 

There must be an effortless way.

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2 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Well no fucking shit. Thanks for the great advice.

 

Don't insult. But frightening yourself is the only way out of it. Sorry but there is no other way than to hammer yourself with the thought that it's highly dangerous. Rest is up to you.

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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Here's some methods that may help:

 

One thing that may help is to just add on all the healthy stuff you want while also still using nicotine. So this would mean exercising daily / meditating daily / eating healthier / etc. and still continuing nicotine use. And gradually over time you will have added so many good feeling habits that the nicotine habit will fade away into irrelevance. 

 

Another way is to just quit cold turkey, feel the withdrawals immediately and spend time with family/friends (aim for connection with people and most importantly...Love) the withdrawals will go away quicker than you expect. 

 

 

It's up to you dude 🙂 I used to vape a while ago now, I remember listening to the easy way to stop smoking audiobook and hoping for that day that I would really stop, that day will come brother. And it may be today 🙂

 

I find coffee to be much more enjoyable personally 😌

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

A Comment on the 8th Ox Herding Picture

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1 hour ago, Mandy said:

What made you think it would be new and interesting? 

 

I'm not sure. I guess I just found mind-altering substances interesting in general. Wanted to see what it's like.

 

Maybe what made it interesting and exciting was the "danger" of a forbidden fruit.

 

Edited by Blessed2

 

There must be an effortless way.

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11 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@Blessed2  the only way to quit cigarettes is to scare the living shit out of yourself by reading how negative it is for your health.

Do you want lungs cancer ? Fucking no obviously. 

You better believe that it's gonna happen to you if you don't quit .

 

I don't smoke or vape though. I don't inhale anything.

 

Have you quit?

 

 

There must be an effortless way.

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@Joseph Maynor well that doesn't apply in my case . I was in constant 24/7 pain in my Lungs and coughing that I literally had no other choice but to stop . My brother is an example of what you described . He is a smoker as well ..he literally throws up after every meal because the fucking nicotine and other toxic substances in the cigarettes have affected his digestive system. 

It was enough for me to know that its gonna happen to ME. Its not just science fiction. Like I can actually get cancer and die . This is a serious possibility .

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