To be deserving of love.

[Reena]

I'm slowly trying to get used to being called a bitch, whore, slut, skank, cunt, hoe, parasite, insane, cancer, weirdo, idiot, and the whole 9 yards. 

 

It's Empowering. 

 

[Blessed2]

7 hours ago, Reena said:

I want to express my thoughts but I don't want to sit here feeling guilty of ruining your Christmas cheer. 

 

I can assure that you won't ruin my Christmas cheer.

 

7 hours ago, Reena said:

Should I go ahead and say what I want to? 

 

I asked you a question. Of course you may answer that.

[Reena]

@Blessed2 ill reply to you in a bit. I'm not ignoring you. I need time to properly construct my reply. 

[Reena]

14 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

can assure that you won't ruin my Christmas cheer.

 

(Now don't let that ruin your Christmas. I'm not trying to spoil anyone's fun. I'm not trying to ruin your personal happiness in any way. Nor should you concern yourself too much with me.) 

 

 

Okay here is my long ass reply - 

 

What I was trying to say is that it's okay if your perspective is "life is supposed to be fun." it probably serves you right.. Doesn't serve me though. I have to think that life is hardships because for me everyday is a struggle. Today I'm alive. Tomorrow I might be dead, homeless or whatever I'll never know. I don't want to think that life is supposed to be fun. Because my childhood showed me much harshness, losing a dad because we didn't have money for his medical issues. I mean I fell on hard times many many times throughout my childhood. I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps all by my own. I never had tuition in school. I achieved everything without help, all my academic qualifications. I don't have the luxury to assume that life is supposed to be fun. Also it's not good to rub it into someone's face. It's like you're eating a yummy  big creamy fat Christmas cake in front of someone who is starving. 

 

The same problem I encountered with my last psychiatrist. She used to have a face full of make up and stylish clothing and sitting in front of me during my sessions meanwhile I'm venting about my trauma and talking about self harm. It shows lack of concern or empathy. Even my sister observed that and noted it to me. She was like "who does this? Who puts a full makeup face in front of someone who might be deeply suffering?"

I'm not saying that enjoying is bad. Do it in your own time, in your own room. Fine. Just don't rub it into someone else. When I told that psychiatrist that I'm suicidal and I didn't have money to pay for another session, she hung up and basically told me to fuck off. I mean that's what I mean by lack of empathy. Life is supposed to be fun can look good to some whereas for others it can feel condescending and patronizing to someone who is having to deal with a lot of pain. 

 

If I have a car I am not going to take my car to a poor man's house and show him my car. It's just not good policy. 

 

It's not fair that some people have lots and lots of money while others are barely able to get through life. 

 

This reminds me of what Tupac Shakur said once - 

Because I feel like, you know, it’s too much money here. I mean, nobody should be hitting Lotto for 36 million and we got people starving in the streets. That is not idealistic, that’s just real. That is just stupid. There’s no way that Michael Jackson or whoever Jackson should have a million thousand droople billion dollars and then there’s people starving. There’s no way! There’s no way that these people should own planes and there people don’t have houses. Apartments. Shacks. Drawers. Pants! I know you’re rich. I know you got 40 billion dollars, but can you just keep it to one house? You only need one house. And if you only got two kids, can you just keep it to two rooms? I mean why have 52 rooms and you know there’s somebody with no room? It just don’t make sense to me. It don’t. And then these people celebrate Christmas. They got big trees, huge trees, all the little trimmings, everybody got gifts and there’s somebody starving. And they’re having a White Christmas. They’re having a great Christmas. Eggnog and the whole 9. That’s not fair to me.” – Tupac Shakur

 

 

And it also goes along with my message to Phil regarding the same - 

The problem with you is that you don't understand mental illness. You confuse it with "lack of spiritual awakening." 

 

Mental illness is not just (and limited to) self referential thoughts that are mal-intentioned. 

 

Mental illness is much deeper than that. I can't unpack it to you. Not my job really. Go to a psych ward, trauma center and talk to people. Collect your own clients and research. Too much armchair philosophy sitting in the armchair. I have been in mental wards. I have been mentally ill ever since childhood. My mom has been mentally ill all her life. I have several family members ravaged by mental illness and my uncle recently died of Parkinsons 

 

I know mental illness, not necessarily better, but more comprehensively than others. 

 

If you were to be a licensed psychologist, you'd do a poor job of it. This is not to discourage you. Just to tell you honest feedback. Be in the search of truth and meaning and not merely what feels good in the moment. 

Your idea of "good" is only your own idea of good. Will this apply for everyone else? Not necessarily. Absorb other's experiences too. 

Do you make notes on people's experiences. Do you ask them questions? Do you note down what makes them feel better? 

If not, then that's a ideological spiritual blowhard who likes to shout off from the podium. No different from televangelists. Try to be a listener too. Try to note down what others want too. Communication is a two way street. 

 

A good psychologist is like a good psychic medium. They hit the right notes. They say predictions that come true. If your predictions don't come true, you aren't a good psychologist. 

 

You cannot become a good psychologist by listening to the sound of your own words. Psychologist brings into their experience the awareness of the other. You seem to be focused on "how to make life fun" as the root of your fundamental teaching. But this is all nice feel good therapy but it's very inadequate by itself alone. You rely very heavily on your own interpretation. But in this process you literally canceled the patient. A vital and oft occuring flaw seen in bad outdated psychologists. I think you have your own place with your spiritual mumbo jumbo suited to a particular kind of audience but not suitable for people with mental illness. For someone like me it's too much woo woo and flim flam. I can label your style and brand of teachings as "cozy tripping." your teachings aren't wrong but ill-aligned. 

 

Mental illness is a hardcore thing and requires tremendous research, practice, commitment, like climbing mountains. Rigorous work. It's not about relaxation and blissing out. Most psychologists suffer burn out. Me too. Patients and psychologists have to work extremely hard, like they do in ER. 

It's that kind of stuff. 

 

That's why telling me that "life is supposed to be fun" is not gonna work. 

 

It's like telling a burn victim or rape victim "life is supposed to be fun." 

 

It's painfully mis-placed and mis-aligned rhetoric. 

 

Mental illness requires rigorousness. It's hard core science. 

 

Mental illness needs the Divine Masculine not the Divine Feminine. 

 

I'm not saying that you're entirely wrong. But your stuff has its own time and place. 

 

[WhiteOwl]

15 hours ago, Reena said:

What I was trying to say is that it's okay if your perspective is "life is supposed to be fun." it probably serves you right.. Doesn't serve me though. I have to think that life is hardships because for me everyday is a struggle. Today I'm alive. Tomorrow I might be dead, homeless or whatever I'll never know. I don't want to think that life is supposed to be fun. Because my childhood showed me much harshness, losing a dad because we didn't have money for his medical issues. I mean I fell on hard times many many times throughout my childhood. I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps all by my own. I never had tuition in school. I achieved everything without help, all my academic qualifications. I don't have the luxury to assume that life is supposed to be fun. Also it's not good to rub it into someone's face. It's like you're eating a yummy  big creamy fat Christmas cake in front of someone who is starving. 

 

The same problem I encountered with my last psychiatrist. She used to have a face full of make up and stylish clothing and sitting in front of me during my sessions meanwhile I'm venting about my trauma and talking about self harm. It shows lack of concern or empathy. Even my sister observed that and noted it to me. She was like "who does this? Who puts a full makeup face in front of someone who might be deeply suffering?"

I'm not saying that enjoying is bad. Do it in your own time, in your own room. Fine. Just don't rub it into someone else. When I told that psychiatrist that I'm suicidal and I didn't have money to pay for another session, she hung up and basically told me to fuck off. I mean that's what I mean by lack of empathy. Life is supposed to be fun can look good to some whereas for others it can feel condescending and patronizing to someone who is having to deal with a lot of pain. 

 

If I have a car I am not going to take my car to a poor man's house and show him my car. It's just not good policy. 

 

It's not fair that some people have lots and lots of money while others are barely able to get through life. 

 

This reminds me of what Tupac Shakur said once - 

Because I feel like, you know, it’s too much money here. I mean, nobody should be hitting Lotto for 36 million and we got people starving in the streets. That is not idealistic, that’s just real. That is just stupid. There’s no way that Michael Jackson or whoever Jackson should have a million thousand droople billion dollars and then there’s people starving. There’s no way! There’s no way that these people should own planes and there people don’t have houses. Apartments. Shacks. Drawers. Pants! I know you’re rich. I know you got 40 billion dollars, but can you just keep it to one house? You only need one house. And if you only got two kids, can you just keep it to two rooms? I mean why have 52 rooms and you know there’s somebody with no room? It just don’t make sense to me. It don’t. And then these people celebrate Christmas. They got big trees, huge trees, all the little trimmings, everybody got gifts and there’s somebody starving. And they’re having a White Christmas. They’re having a great Christmas. Eggnog and the whole 9. That’s not fair to me.” – Tupac Shakur

 

 

And it also goes along with my message to Phil regarding the same - 

The problem with you is that you don't understand mental illness. You confuse it with "lack of spiritual awakening." 

 

Mental illness is not just (and limited to) self referential thoughts that are mal-intentioned. 

 

Mental illness is much deeper than that. I can't unpack it to you. Not my job really. Go to a psych ward, trauma center and talk to people. Collect your own clients and research. Too much armchair philosophy sitting in the armchair. I have been in mental wards. I have been mentally ill ever since childhood. My mom has been mentally ill all her life. I have several family members ravaged by mental illness and my uncle recently died of Parkinsons 

 

I know mental illness, not necessarily better, but more comprehensively than others. 

 

If you were to be a licensed psychologist, you'd do a poor job of it. This is not to discourage you. Just to tell you honest feedback. Be in the search of truth and meaning and not merely what feels good in the moment. 

Your idea of "good" is only your own idea of good. Will this apply for everyone else? Not necessarily. Absorb other's experiences too. 

Do you make notes on people's experiences. Do you ask them questions? Do you note down what makes them feel better? 

If not, then that's a ideological spiritual blowhard who likes to shout off from the podium. No different from televangelists. Try to be a listener too. Try to note down what others want too. Communication is a two way street. 

 

A good psychologist is like a good psychic medium. They hit the right notes. They say predictions that come true. If your predictions don't come true, you aren't a good psychologist. 

 

You cannot become a good psychologist by listening to the sound of your own words. Psychologist brings into their experience the awareness of the other. You seem to be focused on "how to make life fun" as the root of your fundamental teaching. But this is all nice feel good therapy but it's very inadequate by itself alone. You rely very heavily on your own interpretation. But in this process you literally canceled the patient. A vital and oft occuring flaw seen in bad outdated psychologists. I think you have your own place with your spiritual mumbo jumbo suited to a particular kind of audience but not suitable for people with mental illness. For someone like me it's too much woo woo and flim flam. I can label your style and brand of teachings as "cozy tripping." your teachings aren't wrong but ill-aligned. 

 

Mental illness is a hardcore thing and requires tremendous research, practice, commitment, like climbing mountains. Rigorous work. It's not about relaxation and blissing out. Most psychologists suffer burn out. Me too. Patients and psychologists have to work extremely hard, like they do in ER. 

It's that kind of stuff. 

 

That's why telling me that "life is supposed to be fun" is not gonna work. 

 

It's like telling a burn victim or rape victim "life is supposed to be fun." 

 

It's painfully mis-placed and mis-aligned rhetoric. 

 

Mental illness requires rigorousness. It's hard core science. 

 

Mental illness needs the Divine Masculine not the Divine Feminine. 

 

I'm not saying that you're entirely wrong. But your stuff has its own time and place. 

Dear Reena. This is what you are doing right now, and you know how that makes you feel, because that is how you feel right now. That is your creation. 

 

Let go of all of it. Trust and know that if you don't do that, the energy that you are will take care of "you". 

 

2024 for "me" will be a year of allowing the energy to flow and trusting that will be the best "i" can do. Please join me and let go of all the mental masturbation we are so many doing here. 

 

Merry Christmas Reena ❤️ 

[Blessed2]

15 hours ago, Reena said:

(Now don't let that ruin your Christmas. I'm not trying to spoil anyone's fun. I'm not trying to ruin your personal happiness in any way. Nor should you concern yourself too much with me.) 

 

Again, I assure you that there is nothing you could say that would ruin my Christmas.

[Joseph Maynor]

Big love comes from work on The Divine. Human love is always going to be up and down. That's fine and that should be respected too. However, couple human love with Divine Love, and a big part of Self-love is solved. There's also a love that comes from integrating the relation between the human and The Divine. And there's one that comes from integrating the Transcendent and the wobble in the "Integral vs./and the Transcendent" duality. So, there are more sources of love than just the human. Anyway, this is just my way of framing possibilities for working on love.  There a love that comes from wobbling the human vs./and Divine Duality -- I call this the relation between the human and the Divine.  Sources of truth are also often sources of love.  I don't think they always go together, so I'll wobble the "always vs./and sometimes" duality here.

Edited December 24, 2023 by Joseph Maynor

[Reena]

4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Again, I assure you that there is nothing you could say that would ruin my Christmas.

You act as though I want to say. See the language. Notice how you use it. 

This is the problem I have with people like you so I simply decide not to deal with people anymore. I'm fed up. 

 

You could have chosen to say "hey you didn't say anything hurtful that will ruin my Christmas." 

 

But you had to deliberately twist your words in a way that sounds like you are blaming me as though I did something to you. 

This is what pisses me off. And If you don't concern yourself with other's feelings, why even talk? 

 

Every talk is supposed to be "I'm better than you morally" then I don't need that dick measuring contest talk. Hell yeah.