I think I gave myself kundalini syndrome. What do I do?

[spiritual dreams]

I might make a longer post about the full events but long story short, about a week ago, I opened up to my family about a lot of my issues and healed about a decades worth of trauma in a single day. I felt incredibly peaceful that night.

 

The next day, I felt pretty horrible, when I woke up, I was immediately hit with a sense of intense despair, Suddenly all of the wisdom and progress I had made had disappeared and I felt like I would be hopeless forever, It was so intense that a bunch of suicidal thoughts came up which terrified me even more. I eventually used IFS techniques to heal this despair but I was pretty shaken up. The rest of the day I was mostly incredibly peaceful but I got horrific intrusive thoughts and terrifying thought loops. In the evening, I was having a bath and spontaneously had a full blown awakening experience, It was a solipsistic nondual experience like Leo or Phil talks about. Its an experience that can't really be conceptualized but I noticed my mind conceptualizing it. I then got an intense spiritual ego and delusions of grandeur thinking that all of reality is my dream and that I am god. I thought that I could solve all the world's problems by manifesting them away and that all suffering is just something I am conceptualizing. It was incredibly blissful and I spend the rest of the night in a psychedelic blissful state.

The next few days were similar, I felt like I was on psychedelics 24/7 despite me not having taken psychedelics in 2 almost years. I had insanely intense negative thoughts and emotions come up which make me feel like all progress was lost and terrifying disturbing thoughts about horrible things happening to me and my family. I also had insane spiritual experiences like feeling connected to the infinite intelligence of the universe and feeling states of intense bliss. I also noticed that animals were much more friendly towards me. I may have even briefly had temporary psychic healing powers. (keep in mind that I am quite scientific and didn't really believe in these things before now)

I noticed a crazy amount of kundalini energy rising from my lower body into my head and there were some incredibly uncomfortable sensations at the base of my neck and the top of the spine.

 

These effects did not die down and continued to grow. I noticed myself getting a huge spiritual ego, delusions of grandeur and megalomania. I thought I was the most awakened person on earth and that I could manifest everything I wanted, girls, sex, money, etc. I also started disassociating and not feeling like myself. I also got intense negative thought loops where I would get a negative thought and then panic about having negative thoughts and so on. I also had weird appetite problems where I would get hungry but then feel like throwing up when eating food. My adhd got incredibly bad and I found myself dissociating mid conversation or task. I also found myself to be really sensitive to other people's energies. I had these intense negative emotions come up and eventually it was too much for me and I had a panic attack. I felt that there was something really wrong with me. This wasn't just a normal ego backlash. I started reading online and it turns out these symptoms are textbook kundalini syndrome. This freaked me out and I've spent the past 2 days trying to suppress my kundalini. Spiritual techniques like mindfulness, surrender, IFS only make it stronger.

 

This is freaking me out. What do I do?

 

[Mandy]

Don't take thoughts seriously, and keep expressing. When negative emotions come out, write, journal. Express, express, express. Listen to music if you need help starting. The music becomes part of it. 

 

If things get too intense, if suicidal thoughts persist, call a hotline. Use all resources at your disposal. 

[spiritual dreams]

@Mandy Thanks, I'm kind of afraid of calling a hotline because I don't want to get sent to a mental hospital. I will try to express my negative thoughts as much as I can.

It's strange because before this awakening, I desperately wanted to be where I am now. But now I'm like 'fuck i did way too much too soon'. Is what I am experiencing normal? 

I've also realised that this awakening has given me an enormous spiritual ego. I have these feelings that I am above other people now that I have awakened and even as i am typing this, the ego is trying to take advantage by being like 'look how humble you are'. How do I deal with the ego trying to take advantage of this?

[Blessed2]

Expression like Mandy said is good. Journal here on the forum for example. You're not alone.

 

I haven't experienced kundalini syndrome and am not familiar with it. But what comes to mind and what I've found to sometimes cause lightheadedness and sort of ungrounded feeling is when food is really "light". Like for example, I wouldn't go for a full raw veggie/fruit diet in your situation. I might be totally wrong, maybe someone with more insight into these kind of subtle energies might have better advice.

 

But "heavier", high raw energy food might help. Stuff like cheese or eggs comes to mind for example. For a vegan diet, I've found pea protein to be quite grounding. Also tofu. And soy sauce.

 

Also, warm shovers, or sauna etc. How about a trip to a spa or something?

[Jonas Long]

7 minutes ago, spiritual dreams said:

@Mandy Thanks, I'm kind of afraid of calling a hotline because I don't want to get sent to a mental hospital. I will try to express my negative thoughts as much as I can.

It's strange because before this awakening, I desperately wanted to be where I am now. But now I'm like 'fuck i did way too much too soon'. Is what I am experiencing normal? 

I've also realised that this awakening has given me an enormous spiritual ego. I have these feelings that I am above other people now that I have awakened and even as i am typing this, the ego is trying to take advantage by being like 'look how humble you are'. How do I deal with the ego trying to take advantage of this?

If you want to be humbled just try doing something you aren't good at.  

[spiritual dreams]

11 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

Expression like Mandy said is good. Journal here on the forum for example. You're not alone.

 

I haven't experienced kundalini syndrome and am not familiar with it. But what comes to mind and what I've found to sometimes cause lightheadedness and sort of ungrounded feeling is when food is really "light". Like for example, I wouldn't go for a full raw veggie/fruit diet in your situation. I might be totally wrong, maybe someone with more insight into these kind of subtle energies might have better advice.

 

But "heavier", high raw energy food might help. Stuff like cheese or eggs comes to mind for example. For a vegan diet, I've found pea protein to be quite grounding. Also tofu. And soy sauce.

 

Also, warm shovers, or sauna etc. How about a trip to a spa or something?

yeah honestly, I went and got myself some fried chicken and I honestly feel way better.

[Mandy]

1 hour ago, spiritual dreams said:

@Mandy Thanks, I'm kind of afraid of calling a hotline because I don't want to get sent to a mental hospital. I will try to express my negative thoughts as much as I can.

It's strange because before this awakening, I desperately wanted to be where I am now. But now I'm like 'fuck i did way too much too soon'. Is what I am experiencing normal? 

I've also realised that this awakening has given me an enormous spiritual ego. I have these feelings that I am above other people now that I have awakened and even as i am typing this, the ego is trying to take advantage by being like 'look how humble you are'. How do I deal with the ego trying to take advantage of this?

Don't frame it as an awakening, or kundalini, or ego backlash or any of that. It isn't any of that. If there's resistance that comes up in response to that, what is it? Express it. 

[spiritual dreams]

12 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Don't frame it as an awakening, or kundalini, or ego backlash or any of that. It isn't any of that.

if it isn't any of that then what is it?

[Mandy]

3 minutes ago, spiritual dreams said:

if it isn't any of that then what is it?

Nothing. Nothing is happening. 

[spiritual dreams]

1 minute ago, Mandy said:

Nothing. Nothing is happening. 

well then its some pretty fucking intense and painful nothing then 😅

[Mandy]

7 minutes ago, spiritual dreams said:

well then its some pretty fucking intense and painful nothing then 😅

Pain or suffering? Do you believe that "no pain, no gain" as in not pain but suffering, applies to spiritual matters? 

 

In other words, what's in it for you? What do you expect to get from it? 

[spiritual dreams]

1 minute ago, Mandy said:

Do you believe that "no pain, no gain"

Not in all scenarios but in this one, there's going to be a lot of discomfort.

 

8 minutes ago, Mandy said:

In other words, what's in it for you? What do you expect to get from it? 

I don't really want to 'get' anything. If anything, I've gotten my healing which is what I wanted. The problem is now the kundalini is rising and I'm becoming ungrounded

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, spiritual dreams said:

yeah honestly, I went and got myself some fried chicken and I honestly feel way better.

 

Great! 👍

 

2 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

It's strange because before this awakening, I desperately wanted to be where I am now. But now I'm like 'fuck i did way too much too soon'. Is what I am experiencing normal? 

I've also realised that this awakening has given me an enormous spiritual ego. I have these feelings that I am above other people now that I have awakened and even as i am typing this, the ego is trying to take advantage by being like 'look how humble you are'. How do I deal with the ego trying to take advantage of this?

 

It sounds like self-referential thoughts and the suffering of it is coming up and out.

 

Especially emotions like guilt, insecurity and unworthiness seem to play a part here. It might be that as those emotions are being illuminated, stuff like grandeur and megalomania comes up.

 

I want to also say that there's no need to think yourself as unworthy or guilty because of grandiose or megalomaniac thoughts. You might have been holding the belief that there is a your ego. Your ego-centrism. There isn't.

 

The "spiritual ego" is fine. Let those thoughts come and go. Their appearance doesn't say anything about you.

 

[Phil]

@spiritual dreams

For any localized discomfort, bodily pain, or similar concerns see a doctor. It’s always good to get checked out and hear what they have to say health & well being wise. As always, take advantage of all resources available to you such as a therapist. That can be very helpful with emptying, alignment and practical self-soothing techniques. 

 

 

Sounds like a very challenging few days. I’ve experienced much of the same but the interpretations differ greatly, and in terms of the discord & alignment, smoothness & extreme difficulties emotionally and physiologically that you’ve described, the majority of it sounds directly related to the emptying of a vast amount of unnecessarily added misinterpretation.

 

Consider, when there is a fundamental misunderstanding, all interpretations which follow are actually misinterpretations too. In path terminology, one path starts with emptying, while another path is like building a house of cards only to be dispelled and emptied later. Thus in terms of the emptying aspect there is significantly more to empty of. 

 

Compare letting go of a single newly adopted belief or misinterpretation, vs years of misinterpretation. With momentum, misinterpretation and identity therein become interweaved, and what could have been a lighter and actually enjoyable emptying of the discord can instead be a very challenging release of the additional misidentification of misinterpretations, and is deeper if you will, from the nervous system, more gut wrenching and distressing, in additional to conditioning which was already present. 

 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

spontaneously had a full blown awakening experience, It was a solipsistic nondual experience like Leo or Phil talks about

This is that fundamental difference. That sentence practically sums it up. It seems what Leo & I am sharing has been lumped together, I’d like to point out just how vastly different these messages are. That may bring about more clarity and serve in the long run, especially if there is another release of similar magnitude. 

 

Leo is stating absolute solipsism is true, absolute, or the truth. 

 

I’m stating this is actually the activity of thought, from an illusory perspective of a separate self, separate of infinite consciousness. The ‘knower’  which ‘knows about’, infinite consciousness. Infinite consciousness, being infinite, does not know finite, and thus does not know a truth about itself. It is already itself, already self-aware. Thus the claim of absolute solipsism is actually a purporting & aggrandizing of the ego / separate self. I am also stating, for reasons precisely as the unnecessarily difficult experiences you’re describing,  Leo’s shared perspective is actually delusional, in that it overlooks solipsism is the activity of thought like any other ism from the mistaken, assumed, believed perspective of a separate self. Intellectual isolation might be a pointing term. 

 

Leo is sharing that there is awakening experience, and awakening experiences. 

I’m sharing that awakening is not an experience or experiential. 

 

Leo is sharing that these awakening experiences culminate as higher levels of consciousness and being more awake than other people and other self proclaimed teachers. 

I’m sharing that consciousness is already and always infinite & unconditional, and that what Leo’s sharing as truth or spirituality - is actually the materialist’s paradigm purported by & supporting of ego or the separate self of thought, as spirituality or the truth. I make no claim of being a teacher, and this is because it’s misleading in terms of what’s been mentioned that Leo shares, namely in terms of separate selves and the misidentification therein. 

 

So just to clarify what’s being shared here, I am not suggesting there is an awakening experience which is a solipsistic nondual experience. 

 

It’s impossible to know exactly what you mean with these terms, but given the difficulties you’re experiencing I thought it might beneficial to point these fundamental difference out. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

I might make a longer post about the full events but long story short, about a week ago, I opened up to my family about a lot of my issues and healed about a decades worth of trauma in a single day. I felt incredibly peaceful that night.

That’s really great to hear. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

 

The next day, I felt pretty horrible, when I woke up, I was immediately hit with a sense of intense despair, Suddenly all of the wisdom and progress I had made had disappeared and I felt like I would be hopeless forever, It was so intense that a bunch of suicidal thoughts came up which terrified me even more. I eventually used IFS techniques to heal this despair but I was pretty shaken up. The rest of the day I was mostly incredibly peaceful but I got horrific intrusive thoughts and terrifying thought loops. In the evening, I was having a bath and spontaneously had a full blown awakening experience, It was a solipsistic nondual experience like Leo or Phil talks about. It’s an experience that can't really be conceptualized but I noticed my mind conceptualizing it. I then got an intense spiritual ego and delusions of grandeur thinking that all of reality is my dream and that I am god. I thought that I could solve all the world's problems by manifesting them away and that all suffering is just something I am conceptualizing. It was incredibly blissful and I spend the rest of the night in a psychedelic blissful state.

That fundamental difference of misinterpretation cascades through all interpretations. What’s being said here is not that there is a separate self accumulating awakening experiences, wisdom, making progress or anything like that at all. Those are the misinterpretations, beliefs, coming up and out naturally as they are highly discordant. Emotions wise, those are the thoughts which are emptying, which despair is felt alongside as they empty, or, are ‘barfed up’.

 

As a reference, the top line of the emotional scale is not emotion per se but is the very ever-present nature of our Being, creating, or, being. The bottom of the scale is how thoughts to the extreme contrary of the wholeness that is already the case, feel. That there is a separate self accumulating experiences and levels of yourself, reaching levels of (infinite) consciousness, yourself, etc, etc, is all extremely discordant & misleading and inevitably empties.

 

Suicidal ideation arises of this deep confusion, as there is not clarity & momentum in regard to noticing the separate self is of thoughts (vs identifying with the narrative of the accumulation / spiritual ego).  Not acknowledging the ego or separate self is thoughts, path wise, is suppression and spiritual bypassing, and is also the basis of thought loops and therein intrusive thoughts, and the delusions of grandeur. The separate self is also ‘behind’ that there is a (separate) world. 

 

Another difference for your consideration with respect to that last part of what you shared…

Leo shares that you are separate of the truth & avoiding it, and stand to become enlightened and God-realized with his help, and dismisses notions to the contrary, demeaning a separate self that is apparently believed in, but in actually is an illusion of believing thoughts, non-existent, and is what suffering is. 

 

I am sharing God is a religious name on par with source, infinite being, etc, and that there is actually no ‘becoming’ at all, and that there is no separate self, separate of the truth, which becomes anything or anyone at all. That you are already, eternally, ineffably, unconditionally, infinite and unfettering of all beliefs to the contrary is the way-less-way. 

 

As to all the world’s problems, grandeur and the ‘weight’ of discordant self referential beliefs, there’s significance in the saying ‘no self, no problem’. 

 

As I’m sure you’ve heard, Leo is stating there are actually separate selves, and that these selves have a problem when it is said there are no selves, only infinite being / unconditional love, and that focusing on well being is most ideal, and while challenging at times, this is opposite to conceptualizing and spiritual bypassing. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

The next few days were similar, I felt like I was on psychedelics 24/7 despite me not having taken psychedelics in 2 almost years. I had insanely intense negative thoughts and emotions come up which make me feel like all progress was lost and terrifying disturbing thoughts about horrible things happening to me and my family. I also had insane spiritual experiences like feeling connected to the infinite intelligence of the universe and feeling states of intense bliss. I also noticed that animals were much more friendly towards me. I may have even briefly had temporary psychic healing powers. (keep in mind that I am quite scientific and didn't really believe in these things before now)

Not trying to harp on it at all, but it’s significantly relieving to recognize the discord of the theme… the aspect of ‘feeling like all progress was lost’. This feels discordant, burdensome and heavy because of the discord of the belief(s) being based on a separate self, and, feeling. (The fundamental misinterpretation).

 

The holding onto these beliefs / mistaken identity is sometimes then misinterpreted as terror or horror wrongfully attributed to infinite self / awakening, or the awakening process if you will. Notice these are opposite to the connectedness, infinite intelligence, bliss, snow whiteness, siddhis, and frankly… basic friendliness and kindness you mentioned.

 

If interested, question the belief in states of yourself, as this is unfortunately more of the same misinformation, and with momentum of the misidentification therein, will only be similar in difficulty when it empties. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

I noticed a crazy amount of kundalini energy rising from my lower body into my head and there were some incredibly uncomfortable sensations at the base of my neck and the top of the spine.

 

These effects did not die down and continued to grow. I noticed myself getting a huge spiritual ego, delusions of grandeur and megalomania. I thought I was the most awakened person on earth and that I could manifest everything I wanted, girls, sex, money, etc.

In acknowledging and dispelling the separate self of thought, there is far less tendency to conceptualize, making for a much smoother experience all around. Far less suffering & emotional rollercoaster. A calm, clear mind as it were. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

I also started disassociating and not feeling like myself.

More so, there is no such thing as not feeling like myself. There is an experience if you will of thoughts, emotions, perception, sensation… but you are already and always yourself. It is only thoughts which makes it seem to the contrary. Broken record perhaps, but this again is the confusion of not acknowledging the separate self is actually of thoughts, which is inherently emotional aversion and conceptualizing of feeling. 

 

I would explore and contemplate exactly what’s meant by ‘disassociating’, as in what is disassociating with or from what. It might be found to be aversion and if so this would be insightful to be aware of if & when it occurs as compared to conceptualizing feeling, or, aversion. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

I also got intense negative thought loops where I would get a negative thought and then panic about having negative thoughts and so on.

When emotions are acknowledged there is no more thinking in terms of positive and negative in regard to thoughts, as emotion is acknowledged to be how thoughts feel and  therein judgment of thoughts as positive & negative (rumination) is felt emotionally and acknowledged and recognized as such, the dots connect. When the separate self of thought situation is truly acknowledged in conjunction with emotions, there are no more thought loops. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

I also had weird appetite problems where I would get hungry but then feel like throwing up when eating food.

Appetite is enjoyably different when food isn’t looked to as much for feeling (better). This is a natural result of acknowledging what’s been mentioned, in that ‘feeling’ is unfettered, unobscured.  

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

My adhd got incredibly bad and I found myself dissociating mid conversation or task.

Another consideration is the adhd is actually the cloudiness of unacknowledged separate self / self referential thoughts and aversion from fully allowing emotions to be felt - which are guidance about the very thoughts and the discord and alignment felt therein.

 

Unfettering by questioning these thoughts dispels the believing of these thoughts, and focus is therein unfettered, as is emotion. Again, I would get to the bottom of what is meant by dissociation in the subject object, what is dissociating from what aspect. Just a suggestion, a pointing, but it will likely be related to what’s been mentioned. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

I also found myself to be really sensitive to other people's energies. I had these intense negative emotions come up and eventually it was too much for me and I had a panic attack.

Panic attacks are the natural result of aversion as well, as is anxiety and social anxiety. It tends to stop us in our tracks and bring attention to receiving and feeling the guidance of emotions we’ve been averting from via conceptualizing. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

I felt that there was something really wrong with me. This wasn't just a normal ego backlash.

Another consideration… 

Leo suggests ‘ego backlash’, and this attributes the discordant experience the term refers to, as an ego being the cause. 

I’m suggesting ‘ego backlash’ is more conceptualizing and occurs similar to a panic attack, and there is not a second entity causing it. It’s related to aversion from emotions via the conceptualizing and bypassing as it relates to and suppresses, feeling. The body can only take so much, and can be loved rather than the intelligence of the body, that the body is, being refuted or fought with. 

 

4 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

 

I started reading online and it turns out these symptoms are textbook kundalini syndrome. This freaked me out and I've spent the past 2 days trying to suppress my kundalini. Spiritual techniques like mindfulness, surrender, IFS only make it stronger.

 

This is freaking me out. What do I do?

 

It might be emotions which have been / are Being suppressed and more suppression and more concepts might not prove to be the way to go. In terms of surrender, consider the surrender of aversion, conceptualizing, etc. Feel fully what arises, while relaxing the body, breathing deeply & slowly, and remaining grounded as presence. Also consider, while methods, any methods, such as IFS etc can be helpful, they can also be ‘hijacked’ and employed as aversion from allow what’s arising thought & emotions wise to be fully felt. 

 

2 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

I went and got myself some fried chicken and I honestly feel way better.

Or just get some fried chicken. 😂 🙏🏼♥️

 

 

Just a reminder… fundamentals can be game changers.

 

[Jonas Long]

If you're "so awakened" that you're proud of yourself, you aren't as "awakened" as you think. 

[spiritual dreams]

11 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

If you're "so awakened" that you're proud of yourself, you aren't as "awakened" as you think. 

I mean... yeah that's why I'm writing this post.

[spiritual dreams]

32 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

It sounds like self-referential thoughts and the suffering of it is coming up and out.

 

Especially emotions like guilt, insecurity and unworthiness seem to play a part here. It might be that as those emotions are being illuminated, stuff like grandeur and megalomania comes up.

yes that is definitely what is happening.

 

32 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

The "spiritual ego" is fine. Let those thoughts come and go. Their appearance doesn't say anything about you.

The problem is that its not just a thought, but a habit of consistent egoic thought.

[spiritual dreams]

 

30 minutes ago, Phil said:

Sounds like a very challenging few days. I’ve experienced much of the same but the interpretations differ greatly, and in terms of the discord & alignment, smoothness & extreme difficulties emotionally and physiologically that you’ve described, the majority of it sounds directly related to the emptying of a vast amount of unnecessarily added misinterpretation.

 

Consider, when there is a fundamental misunderstanding, all interpretations which follow are actually misinterpretations too. In path terminology, one path starts with emptying, while another path is like building a house of cards only to be dispelled and emptied later. Thus in terms of the emptying aspect there is significantly more to empty of. 

yup I just undid like most of my conceptual and emotional frameworks. It feels like a dam has been broken and a huge torrent of water is coming out. Problem is it's way too much water for me to handle and the water is carrying sewage and shit.

 

33 minutes ago, Phil said:

This is that fundamental difference. That sentence practically sums it up. It seems what Leo & I am sharing has been lumped together, I’d like to point out just how vastly different these messages are. That may bring about more clarity and serve in the long run, especially if there is another release of similar magnitude. 

yep, didn't mean to say that yours and Leo's were the same. It seems that Leo's version of solipsism is what happens when the conceptual mind tries to grasp and conceptualize that which can't really be grasped. But to be fair, even your idea of infinite consciousness is just a thought as well albeit less ego aggrandizing. Even the idea of infinite consciousness has to be dissolved. Although I'm definitely not ready for that 😅

 

40 minutes ago, Phil said:

Not trying to harp on it at all, but it’s significantly relieving to recognize the discord of the theme… the aspect of ‘feeling like all progress was lost’. This feels discordant, burdensome and heavy because of the discord of the belief(s) being based on a separate self. (The fundamental misinterpretation). The holding onto these beliefs / mistaken identity is sometimes then misinterpreted as terror or horror wrongfully attributed to infinite self / awakening, or the awakening process if you will. Notice these are opposite to the connectedness, infinite intelligence, bliss, snow whiteness, siddhis, and frankly… basic friendliness, kindness. If interested, question the belief in states of yourself, as this is unfortunately more of the same misinformation, and with momentum of the misidentification therein, will only be similar in difficulty when it empties. 

 

I understand this normally, but in that moment, all of this understanding is lost and I don't have the awareness to question anything. 

 

43 minutes ago, Phil said:

More so, there is no such thing as not feeling like myself. There is an experience if you will of thoughts, emotions, perception, sensation… but you are already and always yourself. Broken record perhaps, but this again is the confusion of not acknowledging the separate self is actually of thoughts, which is inherently emotional aversion and conceptualizing feeling. 

Yes I am aware, but when I'm in that moment, the thought takes over and obscures everything.

 

44 minutes ago, Phil said:

It might be emotions which have been / are Being suppressed and more suppression and more concepts might not prove to be the way to go. In terms of surrender, consider the surrender of aversion, conceptualizing, etc. Feel fully what arises, while relaxing the body, breathing deeply & slowly, and remains grounded as presence. 

Ok there is the problem. That's the first thing I did when this all happened. The problem is that feeling and surrender makes the kundalini rise even more leading to even more symptoms. Its like breaking more dams and releasing even more water.

 

46 minutes ago, Phil said:

Or just get some fried chicken. 😂 🙏🏼♥️

Yup it seems that I need to do things to ground myself. The main problem is that I am incredibly ungrounded right now. Things like junk food, masturbation, gym, walking on grass help a bit. Things like meditation, surrender, IFS, breathwork, nonduality etc. make it worse because they amplify kundalini. Its like I'm on psychedelics but 24/7 and every time I surrender to the psychedelics, they become stronger and more destabilizing. Do you know how I can ground myself?

[Mandy]

1 hour ago, spiritual dreams said:

Not in all scenarios but in this one, there's going to be a lot of discomfort.

 

I don't really want to 'get' anything. If anything, I've gotten my healing which is what I wanted. The problem is now the kundalini is rising and I'm becoming ungrounded

Things are always working out for you. Life will send all sorts of things. 

 

You opened up, you expressed, and it sounds like more is yet to come but there isn't really a means of getting it out. Conceptualizing it as a big kundalini grounding problem is not doing that, journaling, honestly is. 

[spiritual dreams]

2 minutes ago, Mandy said:

You opened up, you expressed, and it sounds like more is yet to come but there isn't really a means of getting it out.

No that's not the problem, the problem is that way too much is coming out and I cant handle it.

 

6 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Conceptualizing it as a big kundalini grounding problem is not doing that, journaling, honestly is. 

I think conceptualizing it as kundalini helps because there is a lot of literature on kundalini syndrome which has helped a bit. I will try journaling more though.

 

8 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Things are always working out for you. Life will send all sorts of things.

Thank you, That is what is keeping me sane. Despite all the madness and terror, I am incredibly grateful everything happened the way it did.