I think I gave myself kundalini syndrome. What do I do?

[Phil]

36 minutes ago, spiritual dreams said:

Do you know how I can ground myself?

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/grounding

 

 

It might be comforting to say ‘oh, ok, that’s the ‘ego’. Ok. WOW  but ok.’ 

[Enlightened Cat]

Not entirely sure on how kundalini stuff works, but just my two cents: It seems like maybe you are having a drastic change in energy and perception, which is not really so concerning on its own. But, your thoughts are moving this energy around quite a bit, which can be overwhelming. This is actually what normally happens for most people, their thoughts about themselves create strong emotions, but the feelings and emotions produced by the thoughts seem to be "amplified" beyond what you are used to in this kundalini scenario.

Just as an example, you experience a very ecstatic non-dual feeling of bliss, which is fine on its own of course, but then thoughts about yourself start to fill it, like "I am God, therefore I can do all of this, etc." The feeling of that state has been co-opted by certain stories and narratives like this.

You can see that what you have described is driven by certain narratives and stories, like "I am God, I am manifesting this, I can do all of this, this created a feeling of this, etc." So my advice would be to just look at these thoughts and stories as they are, and make peace with them in that way. It seems that lots of thoughts and ideas about yourself are being "pushed" and "purged" out of you, but if you can truly see that, then it's really up to you if you want to act them out or not.

Edited October 17, 2023 by Enlightened Cat

[Blessed2]

11 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

The problem is that its not just a thought, but a habit of consistent egoic thought.

 

Take the role of the observer. Observe the thoughts being as they are. Like a scientist observing fungus or bacteria.

 

Now. You're already the observer. And we're with you.

[Phil]

15 hours ago, spiritual dreams said:

 

yup I just undid like most of my conceptual and emotional frameworks. It feels like a dam has been broken and a huge torrent of water is coming out. Problem is it's way too much water for me to handle and the water is carrying sewage and shit.

 

yep, didn't mean to say that yours and Leo's were the same. It seems that Leo's version of solipsism is what happens when the conceptual mind tries to grasp and conceptualize that which can't really be grasped. But to be fair, even your idea of infinite consciousness is just a thought as well albeit less ego aggrandizing. Even the idea of infinite consciousness has to be dissolved. Although I'm definitely not ready for that 😅

 

 

I understand this normally, but in that moment, all of this understanding is lost and I don't have the awareness to question anything. 

 

Yes I am aware, but when I'm in that moment, the thought takes over and obscures everything.

 

Ok there is the problem. That's the first thing I did when this all happened. The problem is that feeling and surrender makes the kundalini rise even more leading to even more symptoms. Its like breaking more dams and releasing even more water.

 

Yup it seems that I need to do things to ground myself. The main problem is that I am incredibly ungrounded right now. Things like junk food, masturbation, gym, walking on grass help a bit. Things like meditation, surrender, IFS, breathwork, nonduality etc. make it worse because they amplify kundalini. It’s like I'm on psychedelics but 24/7 and every time I surrender to the psychedelics, they become stronger and more destabilizing. Do you know how I can ground myself?

Notice in hindsight in each case (and of course more so be aware of this now - as that is the point) the context of the thoughts is on behalf of a second self. That’s not something to figure out or resolve as that would be more of the same, it’s just something to notice. 

 

‘I just did, it’s too much for me, I’m not ready, when I’m in that moment - that the water and kundalini are the problems for  that second self - I understand this… all that understanding is lost.’

 

The ‘house of cards’ falls into feeling. What’s wanted is feeling better / great / amazing - as yourself. 

It’s already working out. 🤍

 

Breathe. Relax. Acknowledge the experience of thoughts. 

 

The relief is in acknowledging you’re fine, these are thoughts you’re aware of. 

The deeper relief is in acknowledging this is already the case. 

This is always the case. 

 

Yes it can be challenging, yes it can be difficult. 

 

Breathe. Relax. Acknowledge the experience of thoughts. 

 

Acknowledge the patterns of thought playing out, and acknowledge everything’s fine / that it is thoughts. You’re already fine, present, aware of these thoughts.

 

Breathe. Relax. Acknowledge the experience of thoughts. 

 

Acknowledge what is ‘in’ direct experience… and acknowledge what is not ‘in’ direct experience. 

 

There is a lot of expression to come. Journaling, therapy, friends or family if it fits, all of the above if it fits. Not to fix anything, just to allow the expression and relief.

 

Don’t add resistance / refrain from making it about anything in opposition to you / asserting upon you such as the water and or kundalini. 

Express not about you per se, in third person, but as you. Express whatever arises. 

 

Express what you’re experiencing. Let the concern of ‘I’ll be too awake’ go. Acknowledge that’s still thoughts about an ‘second self’. Express the emotions and whatever thoughts arise. 

 

 

Use the scale. It’s non-conceptual. Non-‘spiritual’ concepts, rules out bypassing, allows relief. It’s for acknowledging and expressing the emotions. It is grounding. Careful not to overcomplicate it. It’s about the acknowledgement of emotions felt, and the relief in the next emotion on the scale. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-emotional-scale

 

 

Also… express such as in a journal… about yourself, awareness. Acknowledge experience such as thoughts, emotions, sensation, perception… and then propose the question… what can I say about awareness… and write whatever arises. This … the honesty, sincerity, integrity therein… is very calming for the mind and body. 

 

🤍 (Consciousness)

[Orb]

@spiritual dreams have you ever considered walking in the sun in nature barefoot for at least an hour and simultaneously breathing in through the nose and out the mouth?

Edited October 17, 2023 by Orb