Having female managers is bad for mental health

[Jonas Long]

@Mandy I looked it up in a book I have, and according to jung the reason we are less forgiving of people of our gender is this very thing. 

[Mandy]

@Lester Retsel Wow. Yeah, it reminds me of this contractor I hired that was fun to talk with and somewhat kind and helpful one on one, but in front of his crew put on a huge façade that made me want to vomit. 

[Jonas Long]

13 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Lester Retsel Wow. Yeah, it reminds me of this contractor I hired that was fun to talk with and somewhat kind and helpful one on one, but in front of his crew put on a huge façade that made me want to vomit. 

Again, back to the vanity of small differences 

[Rose]

On 3/15/2023 at 3:19 PM, WhiteOwl said:

@Rosein your previous post it was men it was all wrong with. There are a lot of hostility and negative judgements towards people in your posts. Did you ever consider you might also be contributing or causing it? Try to look at yourself instead of pointing your finger out. Reality is not the way you currently think it is. Or actually it is exactly that way, so you have the opportunity to change it. 
 

Its all about awareness, if you look for the positive in people and things, there won’t be “space” for the negatives as much. They simply wont exist in your experience. If you continue to look for it and believe it is the way you think it is, it will stay like that.

 

 

4 hours ago, WhiteOwl said:

Do you not see that this is just your own little perspective and not facts? And one causing a lot of hostility and negativity for you. But you seem more interested continuing your way than looking at yorself. Well, maybe one day you’ll get tired enough of how things are and try.

This is what I am confused about. Because on one hand I understand that we “create” our own reality and that we should try and see good in people and brush off our negative judgements towards them.

 

BUT, some information is just facts.  

 

 

 

 

“More than 80% of women don’t want to work for a female bosses”. Are those 80% of women completely bullshitting themselves that something is going on and are just judgmental and negative? 
 

Am I just bullshitting myself that my inexperienced female manager can be really shitty in her job and insecure? Am I bullshitting myself when I am so stressed and anxious about work because she constantly judges every little thing that I can’t sleep? 
 

Was I bullshitting myself at my previous job when same thing was happening? 
 

Am I wrong to say that managers don’t get proper training, or that science people lack people skills in general? 
 

How do I know what is true? 

[Rose]

5 hours ago, Lester Retsel said:

@Mandy I looked it up in a book I have, and according to jung the reason we are less forgiving of people of our gender is this very thing. 

Well yea, men compete with other men, women compete with other women.

 

Kind of like in sports, a female swimmer won’t be comparing itself to a male swimmer because she knows there’s different body build.

 

Female to female, you’re starting with same biological conditioning, similar life experiences, similar challenges.. you can compare it on a more apple to apple basis.

 

I think same thing happens in an office, no matter how much some women claim they are exactly like males, subconsciously, they still compare themselves to other females more. They kinda give up comparing themselves to males because “they are mothers”, “because males gain more respect being male”, “because we live in a patriarchal society” - they can’t compare themselves to males apple to apple.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Rose

[Jonas Long]

Just now, Rose said:

Well yea, men compete with other men, women compete with other women.

 

Kind of like in sports, a female swimmer won’t be comparing itself to a male swimmer because she knows there’s different body build.

 

Female to female, you’re starting with same biological conditioning, similar life experiences, similar challenges.. you can compare it on a more apple to apple basis.

 

I think same thing happens in an office, no matter how much some women claim they are exactly like males, subconsciously, they still compare themselves to other females more.

I think the more we see ourselves in another person the harsher we are likely to judge them, because it's the most uncomfortable.  That's why our family members usually bug us the most.  

[WhiteOwl]

 

2 hours ago, Rose said:

Am I just bullshitting myself that my inexperienced female manager can be really shitty in her job and insecure? Am I bullshitting myself when I am so stressed and anxious about work because she constantly judges every little thing that I can’t sleep? 
 

Was I bullshitting myself at my previous job when same thing was happening? 
 

Am I wrong to say that managers don’t get proper training, or that science people lack people skills in general? 
 

How do I know what is true? 

Looking at those comments together, that tells me something about how you experience/create reality, not facts. Its you, your perspective. Don't you see that your experience could be completely different if you didn't look at things that way? Not everyone has the same thoughts/emotions etc in the same situations as you. Why not? 

Would you not want to connect and feel positive towards those mentioned people if you had the choice?

What feels better than "I see them as angry math nerds who finally have some power."? 

 

2 hours ago, Rose said:

This is what I am confused about. Because on one hand I understand that we “create” our own reality and that we should try and see good in people and brush off our negative judgements towards them.

Its not so much brushing off negative judgements, its realizing you are creating it. How else would they be there? "I" have experienced this so many times already. People and situations completely change because i change my attitude and way of looking at things.. try it really. Write 3 good things on a piece of paper (be sincere) of some of the persons you mention. Try to change it around so you feel positive thinking about them, and look what happens. Only that will change your mind. 

 

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, Rose said:

Well yea, men compete with other men, women compete with other women.

 

Kind of like in sports, a female swimmer won’t be comparing itself to a male swimmer because she knows there’s different body build.

 

Female to female, you’re starting with same biological conditioning, similar life experiences, similar challenges.. you can compare it on a more apple to apple basis.

 

I think same thing happens in an office, no matter how much some women claim they are exactly like males, subconsciously, they still compare themselves to other females more. They kinda give up comparing themselves to males because “they are mothers”, “because males gain more respect being male”, “because we live in a patriarchal society” - they can’t compare themselves to males apple to apple.

I think you're really putting yourself down here, unnecessarily. Moment to moment for "masculine" action is called for or more "feminine", all we really are is the moment and never the sum total. All leadership really is, is the intuition, courage (or heart) and presence to do what's appropriate in the moment. Doesn't matter what gender you are, that will inspire others. But if we think we have to be some way because of our position or gender, then people are going to sense the inauthenticity.  Maybe it's the inauthenticity you sense rather than some general rule about women's inferiority in this respect being a truth. 

[Phil]

The current manager I work with is female and is by far the greatest manager and honestly the greatest person I’ve ever worked with. To say she contributes to well being & mental health would be a huge understatement. 

[Joseph Maynor]

On 3/17/2023 at 5:28 AM, Phil said:

The current manager I work with is female and is by far the greatest manager and honestly the greatest person I’ve ever worked with. To say she contributes to well being & mental health would be a huge understatement. 

I’ve worked with amazing women too.  I love working with women.  Women are collaborative and use both sides of their brain.  As I’ve gotten stronger and more developed working with women has only gotten better.  It helps to be great with relationships to work with women.  When I was kind of an insecure lone wolf type it wasn’t as easy for me to get along with let alone work with women.  It’s cool to know when to take the lead and when to let them take the lead.  Flexible is a good word.  I like watching and helping women and Feminine guys develop their Masculine — but in a collaborative way.

Edited March 21, 2023 by Joseph Maynor

[Rose]

@Phil @Joseph Maynor you two are men though. It’s different for men. 
 

Am I absolutely crazy to say that women can get jealous of other women more than they can get jealous of men? And let that affect their interaction/management style with those women? 

 

These days whenever I go to the office, I am thinking whether I should I paint my nails coz it might be taken the wrong way… not just by women though.. like “oh, she’s so busy, but has time to do the nails”

Edited March 22, 2023 by Rose

[Phil]

7 minutes ago, Rose said:

Am I absolutely crazy to say that women can get jealous of other women more than they can get jealous of men?

No. I would guess that’s more common. 

8 minutes ago, Rose said:

These days whenever I go to the office, I am thinking whether I should I paint my nails coz it might be taken the wrong way… not just by women though.. like “oh, she’s so busy, but has time to do the nails”

I hear ya. I don’t even usually get dressed. They’re always like wow that guy’s work ethic is insane. 

[Rose]

11 minutes ago, Phil said:

I hear ya. I don’t even usually get dressed. They’re always like wow that guy’s work ethic is insane. 

LMAAAAO 🤣🤣🤣 

 

Thanks for a great laugh!

Edited March 22, 2023 by Rose

[WhiteOwl]

9 hours ago, Phil said:

I hear ya. I don’t even usually get dressed. They’re always like wow that guy’s work ethic is insane. 

🤣