_Lina's journal_

[Reena]

More of the rabbit hole part 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

More of the rabbit hole part 4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

More of the rabbit hole part 5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

More of the rabbit hole part 6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

More of the rabbit hole part 7

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

More of the rabbit hole part 8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

More of the rabbit hole part 9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

The best way to describe Leo Gura in short is - 10 year long grift. 

 

Can we really trust Leo Gura? 

 

No.... You can't trust Leo Gura. 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

Since leaving Actualized.org I'm doing much better mentally. 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

I'm saying this to anyone who is reading this. 

 

Move away from Leo and your life will be 50 times better than what it is with Leo around you, 100% guarantee or you can bash me if I'm proved wrong. 

 

I'm saying from personal experience with Leo Gura. I have zero vendetta against him. I'm speaking from pure personal experience and personal experience is the biggest teacher. 

 

When I was in close touch and close circle with Leo Gura my life was very shitty. The quality of my life was significantly declining and Leo made me very nervous and child like. Leo has a strange cult like personality. Basically he is the best example of "cult of personality." He has a very convincing way of making you feel like he is the only one who can help you. 

 

I notice a rapid shift in my mood improvement after leaving Leo completely. He is very nihilistic and depressive and has a negative energy and actually takes you down rather than building you up. All of this in the name of advice. Advice is cheap and is found everywhere. Leo tries to make himself look special, as though you're missing something if you're not having him in your life. A true person will set you free. A false person will get you dependent. 

Leo makes you want him on purpose, you're his supply, not his student. That's why he is so scared when people join other communities, because he thinks he will lose his supply. He is deeply insecure. A person who is grounded in love is not insecure. 

 

He gives you love and care and uses subliminal sympathetic language to get you to be dependent on him. He is the best example of neuro linguistic programming subliminally acting on your brain without you noticing it. 

 

Leo's language is carefully designed and is very addictive. You feel like he is helping you a lot. But this is just your brain doing tricks on you, because he is not helping you more than a guy at the end of the street with his generic advice. 

The difference is that the guy standing at the corner of the street will tell you the same thing in a unpleasant unemotional rough manner. Yet Leo says the same thing with emotions and it makes you feel better.. This is what pastors and religious cult leaders do to people, they speak to you in emotive ways to get you to believe that they deeply care about you. It's just emotional manipulation and it's vapid.

Its a cult of personality. 

 

Leo has you hooked like a drug. Then people begin to look at him as though he is some great person doing a great service. He simply has a lot of stamina for rambling (again reminds me of infamous pastors), and this ability to keep rambling can be easily cultivated by practice. Leo has no great skill that someone else cannot offer. 

 

Leo constantly tries hard to advertise himself as a unique individual by using phrases like "nobody on the internet like me," "no other guru or teacher" these phrases are designed to make everyone think that he is the ultimate and class apart. 

There are thousands of self help books, videos and resources packed with wisdom much better than Leo's. You don't have to tolerate his constant dissing and bashing for his generic wisdom. 

It's all a massive brainwash and I wasn't immune to it either. When I finally let Actualized.org go from my life for good, I began to see how much better I felt. It was like being freed from a prison. It felt incredibly free and awesome like I instantly got my life back. You won't realize this as long as you are associated with Leo. The moment you break off from Leo completely is the moment you feel complete freedom. 

 

 

Leo is not openly engaging in specific cult like rituals, as seen in popular cults, the problem with him is that his personality itself is cultish, especially his intense eye contact, hypnotic gaze and emotive language with pauses to make the listener feel like he is going deeper and long long videos to keep the user hooked to his intense energy. All of this enormously add to his cult vibe, but these are not superficial cultish innocent mannerisms, these are manifestations of his inner world appearing on the outside, his inner world is deeply cult like, he wants people to admire and like him, any criticism is hard for him. He only superficially surrenders to criticism to appease to people, it's fake humility. But on the inside, he is deeply manic and insecure and won't budge or change. 

Even if he changes he will once again revert back to his old ways..

 

The fact is that Leo will never change. Because cult like personalities are addicted to themselves, they love who they are, they love the adulation of the masses, they love being followed, they want to be at the top, they want everyone to like them and they're intensely annoyed at people who don't give them this supply. They thrive on fake praises. They are surrounded by fake people who do their bidding. 

Their love is superficial and rooted in gaining mass appeal. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 11, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

I escaped and disappeared from Actualized org and it makes me incredibly happy and free. 

 

[Reena]

So far my symptoms are under control. 

Since leaving Actualized.org my symptoms are very much under control. 

 

[Reena]

This is finally my new life post Actualized.org. 

 

 

[Reena]

It was my job to not let him misuse my trust. 

               

 

 

 

Edited February 13, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

Yea I literally married this forum. Because I had to. Just like arrange marriages in the Middle East. 

       . . . . 

 

Edited February 13, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

Brian Nox is a good source. 

 

 

 

Today I felt pressured to talk to someone on Snapchat in a sexual way. They weren't letting go. Constantly trying to make the conversation sexual even when I wasn't interested. It felt boring. I wasn't ready. It's pathetic when people openly flout your boundaries despite you telling them a strict no. Why are people especially men this way? Why can't a No be taken as a no? 

 

 

Why do men justify their horniness so openly yet when women do the same thing, they're labeled slutty? 

 

 

I'm working on my impulsivity. These days. 

 

 

 

Focus on the beautiful and the positive. When there are so many beautiful and positive things, why focus on the negative. 

 

 

And people who are negative to others, really what kind of people are they anyway - either immature, aggressive, narcissistic or just with nothing better to do. Probably jealous or just people who are never taught to be nice. Remember decent people (not necessarily good hearted, at least they possess social calibration and know how to respond, bad or good is a different ballgame) will never act like this. 

 

In reality however, people who act like assholes online can be helpful or genuine. Not everyone who lacks social calibration is bad hearted.. Don't be carried away and deluded by sweet words. 

 

 

 

 

First way to control impulsivity is to re-read your own post 3 times before posting. Do that. 

 

 

I have to remind myself that I have BPD and I'm autistic. 

 

 

I'm sick and tired of all the judgement. Why do I justify myself so much to people? 

Why don't I feel truly confident in myself? 

I think if I develop confidence then I will not need to constantly please others or justify myself. 

I need to be able to say a hard no. Like fuck it. "whatever you want, I don't care" mentality because I have zero obligation and those who wanna stay, they won't keep blaming, it's another thing if someone is genuinely upset with me and it's totally my fault. But otherwise. Why does it matter if someone thinks bad about me? 

 

 

 

When you have low self esteem a lot of things can get screwed up. 

 

 

There is some sort of comfort in rejection. There's empowerment in rejection 

You tend to engage in self blaming when people gaslight you. It's a potent form of cultish psychological abuse. But when you reject on your own, you're no longer seeking validation in a parasocial relationship. You deny it. You deny its usefulness. When you reject something, you no longer feel bad, low, humiliated, discarded or guilty. It's up to you to reject something that is never meant for you. Don't give so much power to others that you begin to lose your own power. 

 

 

 

I'll use this ribbon a lot more. 

 

 

 

When you feel triggered take a deep breath, and surrender to that experience. 

 

 

 

Cupcake, sometimes you have to let go. I know there's an ocean of emotions inside of you. 

 

 

 

Also take breaks in between and write your planner sometimes 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 13, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

 

I thought about Manny again. 

He is the only love of my life. 

And everytime I think of Manny, I escape into a dream world, and these songs swim through my mind.. 

 

https://youtu.be/BwLbI9Oj7BM

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://youtu.be/xN5hY51EImg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://youtu.be/YY-qI8P1Nu8

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://youtu.be/DTaARfaVWfg

 

 

 

 

 

https://youtu.be/ZlPGf2KaxCk

 

 

 

Edited February 14, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

 

                

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I cannot forget Manny. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 13, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

Manny, I love you. 

Life is so sweet with you in my dreams. 

 

 

 

They asked me - 

 

"why is there a glow on your face?" 

I smiled and burst in nervous laughter. Giggles. 

 

Manny, should I tell them that it's you who makes me blush. 

 

[Reena]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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