Reena Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 (edited) Today I don't feel guilt. Today I know what I really want. It was a terrible feeling yesterday. I felt like I was going to die. Today my struggle comes to an end. I struggled for years with abandonment. Today I got freedom from the shackles of loneliness, abandonment and rejection. Today I became wine. Today I became tea.. Today I became hope. Edited May 17, 2023 by Cupcake Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 (edited) I want to explore creativity and art Only a jeweler knows the worth of a gem You have to be real. A real person is more beautiful than any creation. Beauty does not lie in admiration it lies in creation. Today I have realized the value of humility and grace. Grace is when you remain positive undaunted in the face of negativity. Grace comes from hope. An admirer can only create a statue of stone. An artist will put life into it. True beauty is in the creation. True beauty is in aspiration. True beauty is in desire. True beauty is in innocence. True beauty is in realness. True beauty is in love Love Beauty Creativity Grace Humility Devotion Realness Hope I feel there are a few symbols that represent my thoughts and emotions. Edited May 17, 2023 by Cupcake Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 (edited) And those symbols are tea, wine and peonies. I'll tell why. I think wine is something that is considered ugly. Wine is intoxicating. It's the inner beauty that matters. Why? Because inner beauty only keeps growing. Outer beauty is fake. Peonies to me represent delicateness. The fragile beauty that is eternal and graceful and obedient. The fragility and vulnerability. The grace. The love. The desire. This morning I said to myself - "drown yourself in beauty and love." this is where the solution lies. Why tea? Have you ever heard of the term tea connoisseur. Only a connoisseur knows the flavor of tea. Only he can know the preciousness of abandoned flavors. Only a real person will know a real person Only a real friend will know a real friend. Only a real person who is beautiful inside will recognize your inner beauty and you only need this person and not fake people to like you. To me peonies represent aesthetics and eternal grace. Eternal love and desire. True love. Tea represents realness and and that secret X factor that is only found in a real person. A sincere person who is a gem and whose worth can only be recognized by a connoisseur. Peonies also represent inner beauty and innocence and fragility. Edited May 17, 2023 by Cupcake Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 (edited) What does wine represent? The symbol of inner light and beauty. How you feel inside is how much love you create. Your inner garden should be beautiful. Edited May 17, 2023 by Cupcake Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 (edited) Another symbol is a golden cage. A golden cage is the representation of the evil mafia that has me kidnapped. I have two novels - one is end of Days. The different male lovers engaged in erotic scenes with me. The different shades and colors of character and personalities and how they impact me combined with the theme of friends going through turbulent situations and hardships together. Me playing cupcake and other women facing similar situations who are also my friends.. The other novel is that of a prostitute who was sold as a child, kidnapped, held hostage and trapped in eternal misery of wanting love, dignity and acceptance but always having to deal with rejection, failure, abandonment, betrayal and lovelessness. And finally emerging from darkness and embracing art and creativity to emerge triumphant from hopelessness Edited May 17, 2023 by Cupcake Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 So I have the symbols ready - 1 wine 2 tea... Tea is also a symbol of art and creativity. 3 golden Cage 4 purple heart 5 peonies Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 I'm wine I'm tea I'm a golden cage I'm a purple heart I'm a peony Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 Wine represents. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 Wine represents drowning in sorrow. Acceptance. Relinquishing. Satire. Seclusion Rejected beauty Sex. Coping mechanisms against rejection, abandonment and loneliness. Eternal nature. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 (edited) Wine also represents Forgetfulness Calmness Nothingness Having a good time Dissolution of desires Numbness Survival. Emotional survival Heartache Sorrow Drowning Escapism Dark beauty. Forgotten beauty. Vilified beauty. Ravaged beauty Ostracization Acceptance of shame Dissolution of conflict Death despair end to suffering Eternal companionship Loyalty Welcoming a connoisseur Self reliance. Not seeking validation Copium Nihilism Self flagellation Self forgetting Dark desire Taboo Liberation Aging like wine. Maturity. Hardening. Timelessness. Softening. Sparkling. Hidden beauty. Gem. Sensuous beauty. Different beauty. Intoxicating beauty Sensual Aesthetic Forgotten Cinderella Punished one Contentment with sorrow. Blackout, sensuality, sexiness, rawness, softness, relaxation. Edited May 18, 2023 by Cupcake Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 Wine represents masochism and sadomasochism. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 I'm like a bdsm baby Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 Wine represents - enemies become friends but out of desperation and succumbing like prey Surrender Love notes from the Devil Turning to dark alleys to be accepted by Satan Not being judged Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 (edited) orever Elizabeth was launched. Top notes are Apple, Green Notes, Blackberry and Italian Mandarin; middle notes are Tiare Flower, Egyptian Jasmine, Rose, Orchid and Violet; base notes are Woody Notes, Sandalwood, White Musk, Cloves and Amber. Sunkissed Top - blueberry, tangerine, apricot Middle - tiger orchid, tuberose Last - sandalwood, jasmine Verona Bergamot, Lemon, Tangerine Heart Notes: Rose, Nutmeg, Cardamom Base Notes: Musk, Sandalwood, Gaiac Wood Edited May 18, 2023 by Cupcake Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 Forgetfulness, Calmness, Nothingness, Having a good time, Dissolution of desires, Numbness, Survival,Emotional survival,Heartache, Sorrow, Drowning, Escapism, Dark beauty,Forgotten beauty,Vilified beauty, Ravagedbbeauty, Ostracization, Acceptance of shame, Dissolution of conflict, Death despair end to suffering, Eternal companionship, Loyalty, Welcoming a connoisseur, Self reliance, Not seeking validation, Copium, Nihilism, Self flagellation, Self forgetting, Dark desire, Taboo, Liberation Aging like wine,Maturity, Hardening, Timelessness,Softening,Sparkling,Hidden beauty, Gem,Sensuous beauty, Different beauty, Intoxicating beauty, Sensual, Aesthetic, Forgotten Cinderella, Punished one, Contentment with sorrow,Blackout, sensuality, sexiness, rawness, softness, relaxation Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted June 4, 2023 Author Share Posted June 4, 2023 (edited) What kind of guy is compatible with me? Someone who is always cool. Someone who drinks sometimes. Someone who does psychedelics. Someone who doesn't mind me at all. Someone who is addictive. Someone who doesn't chase women. Someone who is into spirituality. Someone who cares about me. A bit obsessed. Nice. Someone who enjoys my company and is never bored of me.. Someone who likes to correct me. Someone who is not into pickup. Someone who likes guy things. Someone who has a muted masculinity. But still rugged. Not too overt. Who is always sitting like a cool saint. Who is always like a good friend. Who likes my quirky personality. Who is okay with me being sometimes a bit masculine. Who is like a soulmate Who is very simple and has a simple routine. Just a simple odd job kind of a man. But acting matured.. Edited June 4, 2023 by Cupcake Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted June 4, 2023 Author Share Posted June 4, 2023 Also I want him to be a bit dominating. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted June 5, 2023 Author Share Posted June 5, 2023 I'm so frustrated sometimes. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted June 8, 2023 Author Share Posted June 8, 2023 I'm more in tune with myself these days. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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