Pessimism, alcohol

[Blessed2]

Been drinking a lot lately... And there might be some clarity coming up as to why.

 

It's pessimism.

 

There's a thought / belief "There is nothing fun, nothing meaningful today. What I want is somewhere else than here today. So I just gotta somehow get through this day." The Enlightened One is not joining me with this thought, and it feels like pessimism. And then alcohol is sought as a quick fix.

 

I wonder with what the One would join me. It's hard to believe to be honest, that I would feel so good that I wouldn't keep drinking. 😕 I see that the thought that brings up pessimism is not true... But how to get to that "Today is The day / now is The moment" joyfulness? It seems impossible almost.

 

There's a tendency to go back into thoughts... It's a bit hard to stay with the awareness.

 

Might start going to the gym. I hope I do. Though what's keeping me from it... The same tendency to go back to thoughts... Especially self-referential thoughts. I'd like to enjoy the time at the gym, though it seems so easy to fall back to self-referential thoughts etc.

 

 

[Loop]

4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Might start going to the gym.

🥰 Unleash the inner animal 🦁  

Return to Soul, empty mind/ thought out. 

No-start, trust Feeling. The self-referential thoughts are always looking for start, Soul just rides the waves of guidance. Don’t have to think, Gravitate towards what feels. Constantly keep returning to feeling-vibration, nudging away from overthinking. Ride the Wave with no-start. The waters bubble beneath the seems. 
 

🙏🏼🤍
 

[Mandy]

3 hours ago, Loop said:

The waters bubble beneath the seems. 
 

@Blessed2 What Loop is inspired to say here I think, is maybe you could go swim in the pool at the gym and enjoy yourself. If weightlifting triggered stuff, just try swimming again at first. 

 

How about doing a cleanse of some kind? If you're unconsciously reaching for something feel better and avoid, take a break from it. It's usually way easier than you'd imagine. Replace the act with something you want to do doing. 

[Phil]

12 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Been drinking a lot lately... And there might be some clarity coming up as to why.

 

It's pessimism.

 

There's a thought / belief "There is nothing fun, nothing meaningful today. What I want is somewhere else than here today. So I just gotta somehow get through this day." The Enlightened One is not joining me with this thought, and it feels like pessimism. And then alcohol is sought as a quick fix.

Pessimism… but also of a nihilistic, and thought wise - self referential & quite tricky aspect.

 

The finite mind can be endlessly tricky when it comes to nothing. So to speak, ‘it’ can trick itself into believing that ‘it’ “knows” what nothing is, by tricking itself into believing that ‘it’s’ holding an idea of nothing. But ‘it’ really isn’t. ‘It’ can’t. No thing is not an idea of no thing. An idea is an idea. No thing is no thing. 

 

Nothing, no-thing, not-a-thing, is what’s appearing as the so called finite mind. There’s actually no such experience as an “idea of nothing”. Not-a-thing (nothing)  is the self, is the awareness aware of the thoughts… which are believed to be about, but are not actually about, nothing (not-a-thing), or, awareness, or of course most simply, you, self. There is no such thing as, nothing. The apparent finite mind can only hold ideas of ‘things’. Which of course, there isn’t. The ‘finite mind’ is really a lens, and like a magnifying lens makes it seem like there is magnification, the ‘finite lens’ only makes it seem like there is finite, or “finite things”. 

 

Other “things” believed, which are actually thoughts believed: somewhere else, & some other ‘time’. 

 

The apparent finite is in fact so sneaky, ‘it’ll’ believe the very fullness longed for and sought… which is the source which is appearing as ‘the finite mind’ (lens) is somewhere else, and is ‘in’ some other ’time’… while awareness, self, not-a-thing is what’s being… THIS somewhere, which is here & now, and THIS someway, which is the lens by which awareness, not a thing, is aware of, this very somewhere, now. The finite mind believes ‘it’ is feeling, or that feeling belongs to ‘it’, and if it can somehow get beyond THIS somewhere and now, it’ll feel the fullness of itself. This is of course an impossible and fruitless endeavor, because what’s longed for is already This. 

 

With meditative mindfulness, or, the not believing of thoughts, it’s clearer the meaningfulness, the very fullness longed for, is yourself, which is appearing as the only ‘place’ and ‘time’ there is, this, now & here. “There” and or “then” is never experienced. Beliefs about a second or separate self in time are experienced, and feel perfectly discordant. 

 

What’s actually occurring is aversion from feeling, which is the self, and which is the fullness longed for. The means of aversion is believing self referential thoughts, thoughts about, nothing / not a thing - the fullness. 

 

As a concession, a reference to “things”;  “things” become. 

Not a thing does not become. Not a thing appears as, and in appearing as - forgets the wholeness, completeness, fullness that it is. It’s own infinitude & true nature. 

A caterpillar for example, becomes a butterfly. For “things”, there is metamorphosis. 

But nothing never actually becomes any ‘thing’. 

Nothing never actually becomes “things”. Never actually “becomes” anything. Nothing, not a thing, is infinite, and is always Itself. 

Nothing - forgets. 

Nothing overlooks this fullness, the true nature of itself, by believing “self referential thoughts”. 

Then feels the discord of these thoughts, then believes the fullness it is can be ‘gotten to’ by becoming, or getting somewhere else, or sometime else. 

For Nothing, the fullness of itself which is longed for fills in, as the apparent assumed finite mind is emptied. 

The manor in which the finite mind is averting, is by believing thoughts about there being a second, separate self, which is “in time”. For this “separate self”, fullness seems to be in “another time”. This is because feeling is believed to belong to “the separate self”, such as “my feelings”. But if feeling belonged to “the separate self”, the separate self wouldn’t be looking for, feeling. “It” would already have feeling, if “it’s” claims held any truth whatsoever. 

 

The key difference between shame and guilt, is identity - identifying as the body. Having ‘got a glimpse’ of this, the old self referential beliefs simply won’t due anymore, and are coming ‘up & out’. The key is to be on team up & out. On team allowing. On team emptying of the discord no-thing is quite sick of. The key is to cognitively recognize this ‘barfing’ is exactly what’s wanted. Indigestion for the rest of this experience, this life, is not what you want. 

 

So… you wanted, or, preference arose. What’s wanted? Fullness. Infinitude. The true nature.

How does one ‘get to’ fullness? One can not. One already is the fullness. 

So what can one do? 

Return attention to feeling breathing in the stomach, appreciating the emptying, seeing the ‘bigger picture’. Understanding what’s transpiring, delighting in the fact that One is not a ‘thing’ which ‘becomes’. 

 

The nature of nothing / not-a-thing, is actually fullness far far prior to any illusory comprehensions of an apparent finite mind. That fullness is what’s longed for. The mind is playing a game with itself believing that this ever-present fullness that is the self could be fulfilling somewhere or somewhen else, or that there is a “way to get”, “there”. 

 

So essentially, you’re being impossible. Literally. Not ‘you’, a separate self, is being impossible as in difficult. You, awareness, the very fullness, are being here / now. For the finite mind, that it impossible. For you however, it’s really nothin, literally effortless, to appear as this somewhere and someway. Matter of fact - it’s a joy to Be here now. There’s no happenstance. No coincidences. This isn’t random. You’re The Creator, Creating Creation - via vibrationally being. 

 

12 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

I wonder with what the One would join me. It's hard to believe to be honest, that I would feel so good that I wouldn't keep drinking. 😕 I see that the thought that brings up pessimism is not true... But how to get to that "Today is The day / now is The moment" joyfulness? It seems impossible almost.

Regard the believing in the “separate self” as childish. See that ‘becoming’ is not a solution to a nonexistent ‘problem’. Believing there is something wrong with you doesn’t create something wrong with you. It just creates discord & suffering, because you’re already perfect, whole & complete. Take care as to the nuance that childish is not childlike. Childlike is pure carefree unfettered lighthearted innocence creating as if in or inside of the creation itself is being. Aka, “in” the vortex. If there is anything The One can not join, it’s “you”. Cause there’s no “you”. There’s just thoughts about, aka ‘self’ referential thoughts and subject object thoughts. This is not a problem, this is the sheer perfection & beauty of you, infinite you. Thought is for creator-creating-creation. Appreciate the perfection of this, which is you. Alignment.  Pure joy. 

 

12 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

There's a tendency to go back into thoughts... It's a bit hard to stay with the awareness.

It’s not hard. There’s no second self “staying with awareness”. 

🤷 

12 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Might start going to the gym. I hope I do.

Don’t “hope”. That’s basically a cover up for doubt. 

You’re the infinite creator. You say I will go to the gym, and it is so. If discordant thoughts to the contrary arise, use the scale. 

That is the joy. The joy’s not “in a future”. The joy is consciously creating as the creator. 

 

12 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Though what's keeping me from it... The same tendency to go back to thoughts... Especially self-referential thoughts. I'd like to enjoy the time at the gym, though it seems so easy to fall back to self-referential thoughts etc.

That “you” doesn’t enjoy. That “you” doesn’t exist. Joy exists, and That is you. 

 

[Blessed2]

Yeah... This drinking doesn't feel very good, especially the nights and mornings.

 

I also experience the emotion shame... That I keep doing it, way too much, and how it's constantly on my mind. It's starting to seem like addiction pattern.

 

Not very fun. I experience the emotion worry and anxiety, that this might become a huge problem.

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

I also experience the emotion shame

How so?

[Blessed2]

43 minutes ago, Phil said:

How so?

 

Thoughts about how people close to me see me drinking and see how it's not healthy and I'm not doing so good. And thoughts that I should not be like this, not do like this, think like this, cause others might think I'm weak and unworthy. These thoughts make me experience the emotion shame.

[Phil]

@Blessed2

What do you do when you feel the shame?

[Robed Mystic]

On 1/16/2023 at 10:15 PM, Blessed2 said:

Been drinking a lot lately... And there might be some clarity coming up as to why.

 

It's pessimism.

 

There's a thought / belief "There is nothing fun, nothing meaningful today. What I want is somewhere else than here today. So I just gotta somehow get through this day." The Enlightened One is not joining me with this thought, and it feels like pessimism. And then alcohol is sought as a quick fix.

 

I wonder with what the One would join me. It's hard to believe to be honest, that I would feel so good that I wouldn't keep drinking. 😕 I see that the thought that brings up pessimism is not true... But how to get to that "Today is The day / now is The moment" joyfulness? It seems impossible almost.

 

There's a tendency to go back into thoughts... It's a bit hard to stay with the awareness.

 

Might start going to the gym. I hope I do. Though what's keeping me from it... The same tendency to go back to thoughts... Especially self-referential thoughts. I'd like to enjoy the time at the gym, though it seems so easy to fall back to self-referential thoughts etc.

 

 

What's wrong with self referential thoughts?  God has come to the conclusion to not demonize..simply because it is all things - and to demonize would be to alienate an aspect of itself.  It could do that - and it has.  But to realize total unity, it must forsake all such nonsense completely. 

Edited January 24, 2023 by Robed Mystic

[Blessed2]

5 hours ago, Robed Mystic said:

What's wrong with self referential thoughts?

 

Nothing. They're just not true.

 

5 hours ago, Robed Mystic said:

it must forsake all such nonsense completely. 

 

Would that not be alienating an aspect? 🙂

[Robed Mystic]

3 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Nothing. They're just not true.

 

 

Would that not be alienating an aspect? 🙂

No it must forsake division for unity.   

[Blessed2]

5 minutes ago, Robed Mystic said:

No it must forsake division for unity.   

 

So division is not a part of unity?

 

What kind of unity is that? Division?

[Robed Mystic]

1 minute ago, Blessed2 said:

 

So division is not a part of unity?

 

What kind of unity is that? Division?

Really dude?  I am trying to assist with your inquiry into alcohol which I have also struggled with and you are being combative.   What I am saying is don't guilt yourself over it.  The Enlightened one is here and you spit on him.

[Blessed2]

58 minutes ago, Robed Mystic said:

Really dude?  I am trying to assist with your inquiry into alcohol which I have also struggled with and you are being combative.   What I am saying is don't guilt yourself over it.  The Enlightened one is here and you spit on him.

 

I just don't buy it.

[Phil]

On 1/21/2023 at 1:45 PM, Blessed2 said:

 

Thoughts about how people close to me see me drinking and see how it's not healthy and I'm not doing so good. And thoughts that I should not be like this, not do like this, think like this, cause others might think I'm weak and unworthy. These thoughts make me experience the emotion shame.

Who would you be without these beliefs?

[Robed Mystic]

On 1/25/2023 at 3:50 AM, Blessed2 said:

 

I just don't buy it.

Buy it. Take it for free.  I don't care.  I'm going to help you anyway.  The reason you turn to alcohol is because you feel something is missing in your life.  When In fact this is an illusion. Nothing is missing just be happy within yourself. Be.  It's quite simple but our egos reject it.

Edited January 26, 2023 by Robed Mystic

[Ceejay]

On 1/17/2023 at 9:45 AM, Blessed2 said:

Been drinking a lot lately... And there might be some clarity coming up as to why.

 

It's pessimism.

 

There's a thought / belief "There is nothing fun, nothing meaningful today. What I want is somewhere else than here today. So I just gotta somehow get through this day." The Enlightened One is not joining me with this thought, and it feels like pessimism. And then alcohol is sought as a quick fix.

 

Man, I have been struggling with drinking and smoking for years now. Alcohol abuse is exhausting. Being passed out, again and again, despite wanting to quit is exhausting. Sometimes you really have to exhaust yourself totally, in order to change. That is my experience.

 

Being pessimistic is alright. Being unhappy is alright. Not believing any of this non-dual statements are alright. Questioning them is alright. Being fed up with spirituality is alright. Everything is alright, except abusing your body. Since you have a problem with drinking heavily, your first priority should be to quit drinking altogether.

 

When you stop drinking, life will definitely suck. You will feel that life sucks. You attitude should be -- even if life sucks, I am not going back to drinking (or any kind of drug abuse) anymore. If it sucks, then it does. Just accept that.

 

I can assure you, if you have abused alcohol recently, then you are unable to think straight right now. You are unable to be really happy. You are unable to feel comfortable in your own skin. This will be the case, at least until you have accrued 2 months of total sobriety from all drugs.

 

Stop drinking. And if this means you begin to eat too much food as a compensation, or spend too much screen time, or masturbate too much... yadda yadda yadda.. it really doesn't matter. This is not the time to act all too spiritual. You can do that after two months of total sobriety.

 

Watch Andrew Huberman's video about "Alcohol". Drinking alcohol really messes with you and makes you an anxious wreck.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkS1pkKpILY

 

[flowboy]

On 1/17/2023 at 5:15 AM, Blessed2 said:

Been drinking a lot lately... And there might be some clarity coming up as to why.

 

It's pessimism.

 

There's a thought / belief "There is nothing fun, nothing meaningful today.

The question then becomes: what's behind the pessimism?

 

If you would set aside an hour to deeply feel into it, question where it comes from, you might discover that it's not about today at all.

 

These types of feelings originate in the past, but they get projected onto the present day, where they make little sense.

 

There is a time in your life where this feeling made much, much more sense.

 

Can you find it?

[Joseph Maynor]

I find doing a 1 day challenge of no alcohol can work wonders.  It’s important for you to believe you can stop and it’s good to have real evidence of that even if it’s only 1 day.

[Blessed2]

On 1/17/2023 at 7:30 PM, Phil said:

Pessimism… but also of a nihilistic, and thought wise - self referential & quite tricky aspect.

 

Oh yeah it's totally nihilistic!

 

The past week this has been coming up.

 

Today, tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, maybe even a year from now... What is there to do? Nothing! I don't see anything meaningful right now.

 

This day is useless! I can't think of anything meaningful to do or spend my time on.

 

I don't even have any hobbies or interests like that.

 

Kind of jealous of people who have something they are truly passionate about, or who have something that brings them to that feeling of "this is meaningful. This is what it's all about."

 

Maybe at some point in the future I could travel and see mountains. That would be nice. That just might feel 'meaningful'. But that's somewhere far in the future maybe. Right now, there is nothing.