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How and why are you valid and lovable unconditionnality


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A very recurring shadow I would see in self-help community is a deep rooted want to transform oneself in order to become lovable as covered up motivation.

 

This is obviously a delusion, but for people who bites into the delusion of conditionality, competition and performance based value, what can we learn and unpack?

 

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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In order to do something well, someone should not tie it's sense of self-worth to whether yes or not he can do something. It's actually the other way around. You know deeply you are valid and lovable, and thus you are at ease and non-needy on the outside.

 

In the case n°1 you feel and act like a beggar, in the case n°2 you come from a place of love, abundance and act like as such.

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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I almost made a thread about this yesterday... Cause yeah, this is why I for a big part first got into self-help and spirituality, I thought I'd finally be enough to be loved and adored when I'm awake or high conscious or whatever. Especially in an intimate, romantic sense. Still feeling like I could never be loved or attractive like that in eyes of women.

 

Naturally resonated with Actualized.

 

I still notice that feeling of need to be validated by someone else. And projection of authority and power. To go open and vulnerable, I'm looking that from @Phil .

 

It doesn't resonate, but it's sticky and hard to see through. Cause how could I ever validate myself? Someone like Phil seems way better than I am, so how could I ever let that need to be validated go? 🤔 It seems quite impossible.

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4 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

Naturally resonated with Actualized.

I didn't want to explicitly bring that one up, but this is from far the biggest shadow there. This is also the reason why I resonated with that place. I am very happy I grew out of it and caught the trap.

 

The constant competition, the pressure people feel to outperform another, the sexism... -> it all stem from this.

 

7 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

I almost made a thread about this yesterday... Cause yeah, this is why I for a big part first got into self-help and spirituality, I thought I'd finally be enough to be loved and adored when I'm awake or high conscious or whatever. Especially in an intimate, romantic sense. Still feeling like I could never be loved or attractive like that in eyes of women.

Oh, then that's very fortunate!

 

I don't know what to tell you on the matter of the lack of worthiness you feel. Most of the time, it's more our limited beliefs on that matter that are the problem. Reality itself is much more lenient than what our minds says and projects.

 

Coming forward with our fear, shame, and expressing it, releasing it help unwiring this frequency. If it may help you, 90% of the time I hear people talk about what plagues them, I can't help but think... Oh gosh... but it's all not that bad. That person thinks so, or has been holding the beliefs it's bad when actually I don't see any problem with that person. 😳

 

14 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

I still notice that feeling of need to be validated by someone else. And projection of authority and power. To go open and vulnerable, I'm looking that from @Phil

 

Same here. I got the chihuahua barking for love energy 😭. And when people tell me I am lovable, too often I don't even believe it. It's like it bounces back away. All I accept and take seriously is criticism and when I am implied I am not enough. 😭😳😐

 

19 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

It doesn't resonate, but it's sticky and hard to see through. Cause how could I ever validate myself? Someone like Phil seems way better than I am, so how could I ever let that need to be validated go? 🤔 It seems quite impossible.

Yeah... there is always someone that seem better. In that state, it only takes 1 person to wreck your self-esteem which is a losing game by default. There is always someone who's got something valued that you don't have. 

 

The pattern itself is the problem, hence that thread.

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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Chasing capital and elements to add on to ourself so we can get the love.

 

Beating up ourself if we don't meet the standard we've put for ourselves? The place where we'll finally be worthy?

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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Wholeness, completeness and certainty longed for are initially sought in experience, and inevitably ‘found’ only in & as oneself. 

‘Achieving the levels of consciousness I have’; such a harmful & convincing bias. 

 

Hurt people hurt people, mislead people mislead people. 

Cycles can be broken. 

Takes a little ‘work’. 

 

🤍

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23 hours ago, Serenity said:

Aren't we all trying so hard to be or become 'someone' that will be lovable ?

 

No, not "all" of "us".

 

These things you believe are reflecting reality as it really, actually, is... these THOUGHTS - since they are being relied on so much, to the point of not distinguishing between THOUGHTS and BEING/ACTUALITY... What are they??? How do they appear, where are they coming from, are they "my" thoughts ,who is this "me" entity that has these thoughts??

 

Cheer up, there's hope at the end of the tunnel...

 

Oh wait... no there isn't!! 💯 🎉

Yay!!!

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46 minutes ago, bnyland said:

 

No, not "all" of "us".

 

These things you believe are reflecting reality as it really, actually, is... these THOUGHTS - since they are being relied on so much, to the point of not distinguishing between THOUGHTS and BEING/ACTUALITY... What are they??? How do they appear, where are they coming from, are they "my" thoughts ,who is this "me" entity that has these thoughts??

 

Cheer up, there's hope at the end of the tunnel...

 

Oh wait... no there isn't!! 💯 🎉

Yay!!!

🙌

 

And it's much better like that! 😀

 

🙏

 

Thank you for the song, btw.

Edited by Serenity

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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3 hours ago, Phil said:

Wholeness, completeness and certainty longed for are initially sought in experience, and inevitably ‘found’ only in & as oneself. 

‘Achieving the levels of consciousness I have’; such a harmful & convincing bias. 

 

Hurt people hurt people, mislead people mislead people. 

Cycles can be broken. 

Takes a little ‘work’. 

 

🤍

It seems so difficult to be found when one has the impression of having been disconnected from it for so long. Illusion, I know. But a long illusion creates a lot of misconceptions until it's finally let go off..

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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On 11/23/2022 at 4:02 PM, Serenity said:

A very recurring shadow I would see in self-help community is a deep rooted want to transform oneself in order to become lovable as covered up motivation.

 

This is obviously a delusion, but for people who bites into the delusion of conditionality, competition and performance based value, what can we learn and unpack?

 

This takes lots of work. Lots of. Every day of life you must fight with yourself. You must learn as there is no others or the eyes don't see anything. You must completely surrender, k ow that everyone/everything is you that will automatically will disidentify with the body. That will lead the quietness of the mind and peace. This is the last step of duality.  

 

No more "me", "my" needs, expectation etc ..

 

Edited by James123

"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."

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5 minutes ago, James123 said:

This takes lots of work. Lots of. Every day of life you must fight with yourself. You must learn as there is no others or the eyes don't see anything. You must completely surrender, k ow that everyone/everything is you that will automatically will disidentify with the body. That will lead the quietness of the mind and peace. This is the last step of duality.  

 

No more "me", "my" needs, expectation etc ..

 

I am feeling sadness, powerlessness and despair. Been biting in the illusion for so long. I see it's an illusion but getting past it seems so though.

 

Have you ever been 'there' yourself?

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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On 11/23/2022 at 4:02 PM, Serenity said:

A very recurring shadow I would see in self-help community is a deep rooted want to transform oneself in order to become lovable as covered up motivation.

 

This is obviously a delusion, but for people who bites into the delusion of conditionality, competition and performance based value, what can we learn and unpack?

 

 I had hardcore realization, it completely wiped me/entire universe out, however, hemostatis kicked back. Many of identification end. But still trying to work on completely letting go. 60-70 % of the time I surrender, however, the hot weather and my mom or girlfriend, I still see from the self. Therefore, if there is any problem with my mom or girlfriend, or there is hot weather, I suffer.

 

2 minutes ago, Serenity said:

I am feeling sadness, powerlessness and despair. Been biting in the illusion for so long. I see it's an illusion but getting past it seems so though.

 

Have you ever been 'there' yourself?

Of course. However, overcoming from the feelings (without any actions by external attachments) are easy. Just know that any feelings, which are negative comes from ego. But emotions/thoughts which comes from external attachments/actions is hard to overcome from it. You have to eliminate by one by. Like trying to find a small key in the desert.

"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."

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2 hours ago, Phil said:

Expressing jealousy is crazy connective, powerful and relieving. It’s been said to actually turn saints into the sea. That’s pretty spacious.  

I'm jealous of people like you who are loving themselves and everyone. Have no sense of separation and limitations. Must be crazy cool to be able to create from the frequency of infinite love, ain't I right?

 

Booo.

 

giphy.gif

 

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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16 minutes ago, Serenity said:

 

Booo.

 

giphy.gif

 

😂 

 

17 minutes ago, Serenity said:

I'm jealous of people like you who are loving themselves and everyone. Have no sense of separation and limitations. Must be crazy cool to be able to create from the frequency of infinite love, ain't I right?

🙂 Inward discord to outward expression shift there yes?  Relieving in a way, isn’t it?

Kinda hate that it’s like that? Anger about it now & then?

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6 minutes ago, Phil said:

😂

 

🙂 Inward discord to outward expression shift there yes?  Relieving in a way, isn’t it?

Kinda hate that it’s like that? Anger about it now & then?

Yes and yes! Omg it seems to work! 😳

 

Can it seriously be so fast?

“Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira

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27 minutes ago, Serenity said:

Yes and yes! Omg it seems to work! 😳

 

Can it seriously be so fast?

 

Okay now I have to try it too. 😂

 

I feel jealous that people like Phil can just like feel good when they wake up in the morning. And that feeling good just seems to come so easily to them.

 

They can just go for a walk and feel at peace. And dunno, feel connected to nature. Feel like they're not separate and longing but at home and limitless. Feel excited cause something about them just attracts unbelievable abundance and opportunity. It comes easy to them and they're already expecting great things to be.

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15 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Okay now I have to try it too. 😂

 

I feel jealous that people like Phil can just like feel good when they wake up in the morning. And that feeling good just seems to come so easily to them.

 

They can just go for a walk and feel at peace. And dunno, feel connected to nature. Feel like they're not separate and longing but at home and limitless. Feel excited cause something about them just attracts unbelievable abundance and opportunity. It comes easy to them and they're already expecting great things to be.

Let me give you a hint, every morning when you wake up, in your first breath, let the air talk to you, just breathe, it will talk. If it does talk before your mind, all will be good 😊

"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."

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