Serenity

The only practice I need is discovering how to love best in this moment. 'How do I love best now?' There you go. The perfect meditation/mantra.

Self is perfect, but sep self can also feel emptier and like its 'getting better'. Which makes you invest into sep self clearing tools, when you could just dive back in the perfectness of Being.

I have a strong need of belonging and I want to be worthy in spiritual communities because I love them and I want them to love me too. So I put myself a lot of pressure and the pressure comes from a sense of lack. Same for my website/project. Want to prove my talent like if I was assuming beforehand that I am unworthy.

I can relate a lot to this overall experience. But seeing it through you make it obvious that it is again you... being more aware. Yeah - confusion, feeling powerless, wondering whether we can really 'do' something, then conceptualizing that there is 'no self' that can liberate 'us' so there is no 'us' that can take action is a loop I find myself in. Maybe the way out is just remembering that we get free though Being and not from the perpetual intention to fix a ghost self. What a thought loop! It's just what it is, and probably not something that we need to perceive as another problem with us to fix. 🤷‍♀️ I like reading your posts. If there is a problem with 'you' it's simply that you seem to be convinced that there is a problem with you. 🤍 And seeing that in you makes me see again that I do the same. 😀

😭 We are all real life versions of Tia Pepa . 😭 As above, so below. As within, so without. Get angry, harvest anger. Etc. 💩 Only good option is Love. 🤣

😭

BLAH. I'm disgusted with it all.

Narratives, identifications, narratives, identifications, narrative, identifications LOOPING. Sep selfing. Anger, frustration, unworthiness, rage, insecurity. I hate this journey. Powerlessness, confusion, discouragement, boredom. F-ING HELL. 🤮

❤️

Knowledge work sucks. So much input and so little visible fruits on a daily basis.

Peeps, I am free. My mental health is getting better than it's been going in years. Pursuing that project was crushing and I felt like in jail.

Will also work slowly on a German C1. Once I can speak German almost as good as I do speak English I'll resume my Norwegian practice 😍. I just find it so cute. That one will be just for the pleasure of these melodic intonations.

Now both a french law and swiss law grad. 🥹 So happy for all the work done and the resilience. I'll switch now my main focus on coaching + youtube. Do not exclude to work part time on a restorative justice specialization as I really enjoy that field.

-A and A 😁 Done done done meow