Jump to content

fopylo

Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    715

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by fopylo

    The path... to What?

    in The Path

    Posted

    @Phil

    1 hour ago, Phil said:

    For the body to run a few miles or so and or put on muscle requires conditioning. For the body to be able to play an instrument, paint well, etc requires practice. 

    Damn you for real hit a mark on my lifestyle... Well almost - I try to condition my body mainly for strength and endurance (mostly aerobic but also anaerobic) so I can be like Goku or some super human😂.

    I'd also like to get back into music and piano.

     

    Hmm.. when it's done onto itself it's conditioning, and when used for some other craft then it's practice.

    Doesn't matter I'm getting distracted...

    1 hour ago, Phil said:

    One can settle for these common answers, or one can discover the absolute truth, and that is where ‘the path’ comes in. 

    Not to come across as arrogant, but how can we decide that feeling holds the truth and not thinking? Why is the truth monopolized by feeling? Of course I am interested in understanding the truth, but why does it need be via feeling and not by thinking my way through it with my own common sense and questioning reality?

     

    1 hour ago, Phil said:

    The backwardness of the path is that of de-conditioning such as emptying & non-practice such as meditation. These are essentially non-reaction and non-thinking and therein non-believing.

    What is the difference between de-conditioning and non-practice?

     

    1 hour ago, Phil said:

    It’s discovering what thinking & feeling actually are, thus dispelling thinking & feeling. 

    But you do that through practicing feeling... don't you?

    The path... to What?

    in The Path

    Posted

    What is the Path? What is actually the journey? Is it the journey from thinking to feeling? Is it the journey to feeling alive in this world, rather than thought stories? Is it to tap into unknown dimensions of experience what the person who overthinks all the time doesn't understand yet?

     

     

     

    P.S. I like how chatgpt is talking about the ambiguity I've been concerned about. It tells me that over time it basically gets less ambiguous - a dimension of experience that is currently unknown to me how it feels like. I guess it would be a matter of letting go more to see better.

     

    P.P.S. Here is the link to the full conversation with chatgpt about the topic:

    https://chat.openai.com/share/43f08d92-9e45-433c-990c-afdef7020142

    I believe it's an interesting conversation.

     

     

     

    Screenshot_2023-12-30-21-23-16-089_com.openai.chatgpt.jpg

    I have all the time in the world and I just throw it to the bin

    in The Path

    Posted

    @Blessed2

    4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

    Are these things what you really want to do, or are they more like "I have to do them in order to get what I want"?

    Things I really wanted to do because they seem cool (especially the languages and reading a book). But I do want to achieve fluency in Japanese as well as French and other languages in the future that I'd like to learn, and I also want to get through some books to broaden my perspective and communicate better and be smarter.

     

    4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

    Do you have someone you'd regard as your guru or mentor?

    Why does that matter?

     

    4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

    Be curious of what you'd previously judge as "shortcoming"

    What do you mean?

     

    4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

    If you'd get everything you want in life...

    I don't want too much... and I think it is also periodical.

    Sometimes I wish for very basic needs to be met and not too much, minimalist desires; and sometimes I wish to create big things in this life.

    But something that always stays common is that I barely desire any material needs.

    Pretty much if I feel excited and 'on purpose' then that's enough for me now.

    4 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

    This is a dream. You're creating your dreams even as you appear to be "wasting your time". Creation is entirely effortless. If you saw what was actually going on, who you actually are, and what is coming for you, you'd be bursting with excitement and joy right now. Even if you'd just be scrolling through instagram and "wasting time" in bed.

    Where do you get all of this talk from? Sorry if it sounds a bit rude, I just can't really understand what you're saying since I didn't have those realizations in this reality yet. Did you meditate everyday of the year for 1 hour to understand this wisdom and share it or are you reciting from a book without actually believing what you say?

    I have all the time in the world and I just throw it to the bin

    in The Path

    Posted

    Not trying to be too harsh on myself...

    First of all hello everyone, it's been a very long while since I've been here, war and shit. We're safe and I believe the war is coming to an end.

     

    Back to topic. So I am on a week's vacation now and it saddens me a bit when I realize that the days are passing and I'm not doing much; not going after my passions or trying new things. All I do pretty much (some days) I doom-scroll through Instagram reels for pretty much the whole day into the night. Feeling very unsatisfied, yet the time is already very late, so I reluctantly move to the laptop and feeling not so good. Going to bed at 4-5 am and waking up at lunch.

     

    Telling myself I'd like to learn languages, I'd like to continue reading a certain book I was longing to read, I'd like to learn about investing...

    Pretty much the only thing that excites me during the day is the time my father hops on another episode of Attack on Titan and I get to watch it with him (I got him on it, and in my opinion it is the best show ever created). Really excites me every episode to see how he'll react and it's something I think a lot during the day.

     

    I'd like to inform that I started practicing meditation 10 minutes every morning for a few weeks.

    Apathy

    in The Path

    Posted

    @Phil

    18 hours ago, Phil said:

    Conditioning varies. 

    What do you mean

     

    18 hours ago, Phil said:
    23 hours ago, fopylo said:

    I just want to live a happy normal life for a 21 year old

    Then the key is not believing this is comparable to that. 

    ?

    Apathy

    in The Path

    Posted

    23 minutes ago, Phil said:

    Meditation ranges from easy to hard as conditioning ranges.

    @Phil you mean the more I focus on my story the harder it will be to meditate?

     

    25 minutes ago, Phil said:

    would never try to ‘push through’ meditation.

    But isn't it true that meditation isn't supposed to always be easy and feel good? Isn't it sitting with all those painful thoughts...?

     

    27 minutes ago, Phil said:

    For anything that comes up which is ‘more’ than just returning attention back to feeling breathing, I’d write about it in the journal. I wouldn’t think of it as an interruption or any kind of shortcoming whatsoever.

    I see this as a loss. It is a shame to cut short your session without planning so. It hurts and makes the process seem like a hassle. Hell, my head hurts writing this bringing me back to those days I've meditated before and had my head so tensed that I just had to stop the practice.

     

    33 minutes ago, Phil said:

    It might sound critical, but certainly isn’t meant that way
 Notice ‘the story’


    Feel free to roast me as long as you make sure I get the joke afterwards lol

     

    38 minutes ago, Phil said:

    I think you’re on the ‘right track’ buddy. Stay present. 🙂

    Nothing from what you said concludes this message for me.

    I just want to live a happy normal life for a 21 year old

    Apathy

    in The Path

    Posted

    @Phil In regard to apathy... there are some days like today that I literally don't do anything except scrolling on Instagram and checking Whatsapp... here and there grabbing something to eat. Quite depressing. There are those days. Today was one of them.

    I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, such a wasteful day. I know there are some good days of going on a run or having a laugh with friends... but today was just not it.

    Cold days are approaching - wore a sweater for the first time this season, and it filled me up with memories of the winter character - the more lonely, fantasizing romance, sentimental, less confident, more emotional, more in my "villain arc"... My laptop also crashed today which is a shame.

     

    I must say though, Phil, that I've started to get back into meditation.

    There's a wonderful video I think you should see:

     

    She gets it spot on for me. I expect it to feel good. I expect it to be easy (you yourself say to sit and simply focus on the breath). It's a lot of being comfortable with the uncomfortable, rather than trying to become comfortable and building expectations.

    But I do remember how my head, forehead and eyes used to hurt from meditation, really tense, as well as the diaphragm.

    I also don't want to turn it into a habit that "I must do or else...", however, I didn't do this morning and could perhaps be the reason for the fucked up day I had up until now (it's almost midnight already). I'll probably do a quick session now before I have a shower

     

    Haven't done something for my growth in a while...

    in Emptying

    Posted

    Oh by the way, I just came back from a light jog, something I haven't done for a while. And in a mysterious way... I felt more like myself at the end of the run. I felt more powerful, with more potential, capable of changing my life... what the hell? Is that the power of aerobic exercise? It's like a switch has just been flipped on in my brain.

    Haven't done something for my growth in a while...

    in Emptying

    Posted

    20 hours ago, Phil said:

    Can ‘the one who falls hard’ be pointed to, or is that a self referential thought?

    @Phil of course there's no I that is really falling into beliefs. It's meant as a metaphor for believing hard in those beliefs...

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:

    Any chance that might be incorrect, as in discordant?

     

    Those thoughts of others looming on me surely doesn't feel good. One of the worst feelings out there, and fairly consistent.

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:

    Maybe the guidance of blame is felt, in regard to the self referential thought, about ‘the one who keeps falling hard into beliefs’, etc. 

    Maybe clarify by pointing to the one blaming and the one being blamed. 

    You are most likely correct on the blame - I am blaming myself for this shit. The one blaming = the one experiencing, awareness. The one blamed = the thought of a person falling in a spiral who I consider as myself.

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:

    Suffering have something to do with ‘life’?

     

    Life is suffering?

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:

    How do you feel their thoughts?

     

    I don't really. But it's like when you ask a person what he thinks about a certain topic and he answers you, but their opinion has literally become your thought. It's like all of what I'm writing that you are reading is your thoughts, not mine, in a way.

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:
    On 11/10/2023 at 2:02 AM, fopylo said:

    But you can't not have thoughts.

    ‘You’ is a thought. 

    Double negatives might not be clarifying. 

    Unicorns can’t not have thoughts either. 

    That doesn't clarify much

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:

    To taste the true tarte tatin, go to Lamotte-Beuvron. 

    Thinking about it apparently & simply won’t do. 

    Express whatever arises.

    See if ye can share the taste; obliterating impossible expectations, dispelling such nonsensical mind games. 

    I didn't really understand 

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:
    On 11/10/2023 at 2:02 AM, fopylo said:

    By "good life", I mean feeling good in the sense of living a life of expression and equanimity.

    “You can’t be something, you’re not”. 

    Phil Anselmo 

    What are you referring to?

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:
    On 11/10/2023 at 2:02 AM, fopylo said:

    What is conditioning?

    Beliefs seemingly constituting a knower of good & bad, and therein a good & bad life. 

    Can you give example?

     

    20 hours ago, Phil said:

    Why stop there, taking credit wise, when you’re appearing as the entirety?

    You mean to take credit not only for my impressive growth, but also credit for my friend's calisthenics achievements, as well as credit for great accomplishments by great musicians who made it?

    Haven't done something for my growth in a while...

    in Emptying

    Posted

    @Phil

    10 hours ago, Phil said:

    Don’t trust anyone on anything. Trust the guidance. đŸ€

    On 11/9/2023 at 12:56 AM, fopylo said:

    This, and the stuff you said before are great examples of how quick I am to quickly fall hard into beliefs about other people and how they control my life and every decision I make. Lots of social anxiety. Very hard to live like that. I always ask what people think of something that has to do with me instead of taking initiation on my own.

     

    11 hours ago, Phil said:

    Meditation is an allowing of the activity of thinking to come to rest

    But you can't not have thoughts. Are you telling me that with meditation your number of thoughts decrease?? It doesn't seem to make sense. There's only one thought at the moment. What do you mean by "come to rest"?

     

    11 hours ago, Phil said:

    That’s impossible. Good & bad are also the activity of thinking. Guidance ‘tells you this’ as well

    By "good life", I mean feeling good in the sense of living a life of expression and equanimity.

     

    11 hours ago, Phil said:

    Conditioning, non-meditation, seems so. 

    What is conditioning? What is the opposite of meditation? What is meditation and it's purpose, and how can you go against it?

     

    11 hours ago, Phil said:

    Never left.

    It seems like that at times.

     

    11 hours ago, Phil said:
    On 11/9/2023 at 12:56 AM, fopylo said:

    Where are the good innocent times of the thoughts of a child, of a young teenager?

    Still This. 

    Over time I've been believing more things, less innocent, less pure. It would be wrong for me to say that I currently experience those good innocent thoughts...

     

    11 hours ago, Phil said:

    Is credit take for the growth of the body since a baby too?

    No... but I've been working hard to achieve a strong muscular body, and my goal is to be able to do advanced movements. I find it impressive and for that I do take credit, for the accomplishment. No one grows to be good at those, it takes training, as opposed to simply letting your body grow from a baby which literally happens to all of us.

    Haven't done something for my growth in a while...

    in Emptying

    Posted

    I don't have so much time to write. It's late, but I just feel like I need to let a little bit of air out, just a quick tiny blow to get some momentum.

    In short:

    Suspicious of a friend, a friend that I have some good laughs with but I always feel inferior to him and worth less when talking to him.

    I have a friend that everything is jokes with him and he really makes me laugh and I try to push it too much too often where I'm really just suffering.

    Now I don't know if it's really a joke if there's a rumor that I have a crush on someone (which isn't even true). I asked him seriously later and he said it was just a joke, but don't know anymore... can't trust him 100 percent on that.

    Basically it's hard for me to make eye contact with people. I am so mental omg. One of the biggest disturbances I've had for the last few months is that it's been really hard for me to think, learn, and follow up. It's really not hard for me when it's something I like and I'm on my own, but when with people - I get so mental and overthink my standing and the other person that I totally miss the point! I love being submissive for some reason, but perhaps it's a lot of escapism from taking control of the situation and rather being in the comfort of others.

     

    I just tried to spill from the top of my head. I don't want to get too much into it. All I wanted is just to remember a little the long lost feeling of journaling expressing.

    I've really been suffering a lot lately,

    And most of it was even before the war. I have neglected journaling my personal pathetic feelings for at least some time after the war began.

    I should probably do more of that.

    Shit man I sometimes really wonder if I'd even be able to live up for a good life.

     

    Slowly I'm starting to see how I'm actually not so different from my parents after all... mental escapism from mother... anxiety and pathetic from father...

    I'm really scared.

    I have muscles but it ain't like I'm strong inside. I'm very much breakable like a twig in a storm - the storm being social situations.

     

    I feel lost. Where's home?

    Where are the good innocent times of the thoughts of a child, of a young teenager?

    Back when fantasy land seemed more promising...

    Heck, thinking growth would be linear. I guess no one can know where life will take them eventually.

     

    There are yet many things I'd want to accomplish. I'm very messy and not organized.

    The only thing I've probably been focusing on growth wise is my physical training in calisthenics since I desire to achieve the handstand push up, and more.

     

    Thanks for reading. I recently got emotionally hit by the ending of attack on Titan. Been carrying me since I was 14. Thanks. This isn't the best place for putting it, but whatever, it popped up.

     

     

    Thanks for reading. I hope I'll suffer less

     

    Israel Gaza Conflict megathread - is there a possibility of world War 3?

    in Emptying

    Posted

    @WhiteOwl

    Differentiate between Palestinians and Hamas.

    There is a difference between supporting Palestinian freedom (which you have the right to), and supporting Hamas.

    Supporting Hamas is basically supporting WWII.

    Oh, did I mention they took hostage/killed lots of foreigners as well?

     

    @Blessed2

    These are matters for after the war. The priority now is to protect and get rid of the TERRORISTS

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By clicking, I agree to the terms of use, rules, guidelines & to hold Actuality of Being LLC, admin, moderators & all forum members harmless.

  I accept