noomii
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Posts posted by noomii
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3 hours ago, Phil said:
Sorry… what are you doing which isn’t working?
It might also be worthwhile to question the validity of ‘the doer’. Perhaps not at the moment though.
I'm not sure.
I think I've been acknowledging emotions a lot, it seems like maybe I'm not doing it enough when I don't see the changes I want.
I've thought that I've been meditating incorrectly. Now I think I'm doing it right, I don't notice a lot of changes it's mostly just a subtle difference, maybe I will notice more later.
Or maybe there is some other technique I need to use. I don't know.
Do I really need to question thoughts in order to simply feel relaxed and at peace?
I just want to let go of all suffering, that's all 🤷♀️
3 hours ago, Phil said:Thinking isn’t happening.
The thought, ‘thinking’ or ‘I’m thinking’ appears.
You’re appearing as thoughts, and being focus.
There is no second self which is not thinking clearly.
There is no second self which is not focused.
With each arising of those discordant thoughts, the discord of the thoughts - the beliefs - is felt.
“I’m not thinking clearly” & “I’m not focused” are an internalizing of the discord.
What if I'm trying to describe an experience to someone?
3 hours ago, Phil said:The discord is believed to be about or of you, as if you weren’t absolute pure goodness.
The discord is actually of the thoughts, because the thoughts aren’t true.
It’s a matter of acknowledging the ‘stepping in the same hole’; and going a different way.
As many time as it takes.
Each is alignment.
Joy.
One can not think oneself.
The call for this contemplation is suffering, namely; existential rumination, anxiety, or depression.
Mental anguish, misery, or, suffering, is the experience of feeling…
and a resistant thought.
The resistant thought is believed to be true.
The feeling of discord is believed to be because the thought is true.
The feeling of discord arises precisely because, the thought is not true.Awareness is aware of thoughts.
All thoughts.
No thought ever defines the awareness,
which is prior to & aware of…thoughts.(Another word for awareness is beauty).
AN EXAMPLE
Nancy looks in the mirror each morning, see’s that she is aging, and is concerned…
❤️ thank you!
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On 3/4/2024 at 7:49 PM, Joseph Maynor said:
How to get shite done? -- I'm a fan of creating lists. I have 5 large whiteboards that I'm always writing on. Right now I have one where I've listed 43 tasks I want to complete this week. I probably will fall short of that but just to have them written down I know I will get a portion of those done this week. The next thing is to triage that list of 43 items and circle the most important things I need to get done this week. I try to work on my psychology because I would literally meditate all week and get nothing done and be content but not happy. The reason I'm not happy is because I've put off lots of things I need to be doing to survive. It's very difficult for me to be practical and get practical things done. have a small whiteboard where I track what my next 5 tasks are. That way I know what I need to do next. I find for me to get a lot done I have to be entirely organized, but that's just me. I have to see what I'm doing and be on board with my mission to be fully engaged. I'm not a busy-bee person by nature so I have to do a lot of work to ramp myself up to take lots of action. I also find comfort in knowing what I am doing and why and I like a lot of planning before I take action. That has pros and cons because if I don't feel like I've adequately planned, I err on the side of not doing anything. And that non-action just piles up on its own and creates a lot of foreseeable problems for me. I like going on well-defined missions where I've prepared and am energetically on board. I'm an ENTJ, so this is part of my Extroverted Thinking dominant cognitive function. Some personalities are opposite where they hate any kind of planning.
Thanks for sharing.
I make lists everyday but I think I'm going to use my dream board more for even smaller tasks. Not in the same way as a "to do- list" though, more like setting an intention and let it be. I think it's better to see it clearly on the board instead of my phone.
I think the problem I experience with productivity is an emotional issue, I'm not thinking clearly and I'm not focused
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14 hours ago, ThePoint said:
As weird as it may sound at first, true growth won't come to you through the soul but through the physical body.
Then what do you suggest I do with "my physical body"?
14 hours ago, ThePoint said:Many teachers and gurus, Phil etc included, guide you towards meditation to heal, which generally tends to create a spiritual form of escape because the trauma and programmes do not change from this approach in any way (btw. nothing wrong with meditation if used properly!).
I'm not using meditation to escape anything.
14 hours ago, ThePoint said:Instead, you can always focus on cleaning up your trauma on the cellular level, i.e. integrate the lessons the 'outside' universe provides, literally, at any given time. Or you can sit on this forum for years like others having nothing to show for it.
What's being taught here - this form of spiritual practice - is a spiritual bypassing and Phil rather than being a lightworker is a gaslight worker, even though being unaware of it and having opposite intentions.
How do you suggest I clean up my trauma, if it's not with any of the suggested practices on Phil's website?
How is it spiritual bypassing?14 hours ago, ThePoint said:How's your dysbiosis? 🙂
It's healing, thanks. I'd rather not talk about it here as it's off-topic -
16 hours ago, Phil said:
That’s great!!
May I ask, to be on the same page, what are doing which isn’t working?
Are you asking who is the doer or what am I doing which is not working?
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1 hour ago, Phil said:
Talk it through. How so?
It feels like what I'm doing to change things doesn't work that much.
One good thing is that meditation feels better than before, I'm doing 50 min and I think I'm going to add more time.
I think I'm going to start questioning thoughts more, but it feels difficult to start. Maybe because of overwhelment about how many things I think I need to get done.
I don't think overwhelment is that easy to notice either.
It feels difficult to make plans or to do things I actually want.
It feels like time passes by so quickly and I feel like I'm always behind with daily tasks.
It feels horrible living with my parents and I want to get away now but I don't know how.
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21 hours ago, Phil said:
Question & dispel the belief in time.
Letting all the horseshit go and actually enjoying this resistance free as is.
If you feel like it…
Thanks but I don't know I just feel so stuck
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I believe I have really wasted A LOT of time in my life, that I have used my time wrong and failed.
I also see how focusing on this just makes me waste even more time.How do I let go of this?
How can I make the most out of the time I
have to create what I want? -
On 3/1/2024 at 11:47 PM, Mandy said:
@noomii Sometimes the best answer to stress is more stress. When you're busy you just do what needs to be done without overthinking it. That's how busy-ness gets abused sometimes, because it calls you best from you and doesn't leave much time for reflection. There's something to be said about having a lot of plates spinning and needing the focus to keep the plates spinning being easier than absentmindedly carrying a single plate and dropping it from not paying attention. 😂
I don't resonate with how more stress is the answer. That's how I get things done when I believe I have to do something and that I have a time limit, but it feels horrible.
I think I manage working full time, if I relax and let go of thoughts.
I'm more productive when I work for someone else because there's not much room for rumination and it's clear what I'm going to do.
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1 hour ago, Joseph Maynor said:
Success! I love it.
Thank you
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22 hours ago, Phil said:
I guess that's just made up, if I feel worry it's directly experienced now.
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23 hours ago, Phil said:
How does that apply to this?
It wasn't felt when I wrote it, atleast not overwhelment. There's no past or future that I think I feel it in.
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23 minutes ago, Phil said:
And can thoughts be experienced in a past or future?
The thoughts about a past or future arise now or not at all
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On 2/28/2024 at 8:20 PM, Phil said:
Can you go to a past or future and feel?
No, it's felt now or not at all.
Sorry for late reply.
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I don't feel good today. I fell asleep after 4am some time and I interrupted the sleep I got a lot and woke up by noon.
I just feel so bad, pessimism, worry, powerlessness? I don't know. I feel very isolated right now.
There's so much I want to write but I feel doubt about if I should write at all because I feel a lot of insecurity after just being honest, I'm assuming people are judging me negatively.
A dream from the other night:
I was going for a walk in the woods and I stopped by a man and a little boy. The boy was sitting on a rock and the man was by a tiny building fixing the firewood.
I saw a bear so I stopped and told the man. I walked inside the small building. The man wasn't worried and the bear just walked away. I asked the man where the road goes the direction I walked towards and I don't remember what he said.
Then the bear soon walked past us on the road. Then it walked away again. Then it came back but this time it had maybe four other bears with it. One of them were really big and bulky. They looked like grizzlies.
I hid with the man inside the small building and closed the doors and the man said that these thin walls won't protect us. He looked to see if the boy was ok, he was like 10 m away outside sitting on that rock but the bears didn't do anything to him.
I asked him, if the bears attack us then we just lay down and play dead right?
We looked at how much time had passed.
I was looking away but the man tried to get me to look at the bears. The bears surrounded us and the biggest bear came first by my side.
The bears said something to us.
I felt so much fear.
I thought to myself that now it's definitely not possible to get help.Then I woke up 😰 that really seemed real.
In another dream later that night I was with my parents in a house somewhere and I felt verrry tired and heavy in a very uncomfortable way that made it very difficult to move. Apparently I had completely forgot that I had driven them to this place, confused. My mom seemed worried about me.
Then later on a woman (I don't know if it was mom) admitted that she had put something in my drink earlier and she showed a mushroom that looked like cubensis.
I think she said that I'm processing a lot.
I have reoccuring dreams about being chased or attacked by bears.One of my biggest fears is to be attacked by a bear but I guess it can be a symbol of other fears too. I'm not really sure what the first dream really meant about the man and the boy.
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3 hours ago, Phil said:
On whose behalf is this?
I have no clue
I said yes to the job offer 😕
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I have been asked if I want to work at a hotel in their restaurant, from late June until October.
I just don't know if this is right, I don't know what to reply to her and I need to let her know very soon. I feel like I didn't really think this through.
I know a place one hour from there that is much bigger that I would rather go to because there's more people, more fun things happening, I can work with more fun things outside and a grocery store that they don't have where I got a job offer.
Where I got the job offer I will have a cheap rent for my room, no space to make my own food and I eat at the restaurant every day.
I just applied to the bigger place yesterday. I called them today to ask how soon I can get feedback about my application, but the receptionist told me to send a mail that she will send to the ones who are responsible for it and they will get back to me sometime this week.
I guess I could say yes to the job offer and then later say no, but that doesn't feel right.
I know there's also a bus going inbetween these places but I would rather be a part of the bigger place. I feel pessimism about how I might feel isolated at the smaller place, I have had enough of that.
Seems like I was a good chameleon when talking with the hotel. "It's important that you're stress-resistant" Of course! 😊
I honestly feel so easily overwhelment about things I think I should do and I feel almost constantly worry about what I need to do, even though I don't have a job and don't have much I need to do daily.
I have no idea how this will go, this is a full time job.
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I have tried again to use the emotional scale for a few days and IT FEELS AWFUL, I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN USE IT EVERYDAY.
Today I started from insecurity to contentment but I am too fucking tired to continue after that. I feel so much frustration and anger now I think. I JUST WANT TO SHOUT AND WRITE ANGRILY.
I THINK I'M ADDING SOME RESISTANCE TO EMOTIONAL SCALE AND MEDITATION BECAUSE I CAN'T RELAX!!!!!
😂
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I'm crying way more often than I used to!
I just had a crying meditation session. Usually it feels good to cry but not so good right now, I think there's a lot more wanting to be released.
I feel like I have so much I want to express but I'm going to sleep now.
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2 hours ago, Phil said:
Who is believing the belief?
Thoughts "Me" or looking at "my body".
It feels difficult and I think I don't have time for this which makes me want to put aside these questions and do it later.
To be honest I don't want to be "good enough". I want to be absolutely PERFECT, in all ways possible. 🙂1 hour ago, Phil said:Sometimes emotion is experienced, yet isn’t acknowledged.
Often it seems, in the absence of acknowledging an emotion, a belief is reinforced.
An example of a belief which could be believed, by not acknowledging the emotion overwhelment is… “I’m stuck”.
”I’m stuck” might sound like “I can’t”, “I need”, “I’m incapable”, “I’m unable to”, “I’m not x, y or z yet”.
The belief, being believed, seems true. If it is true, “I am stuck”, well, that’s the end of it. There is nowhere to go as it were.
But in acknowledging the emotion, there is somewhere to go.
Inward.
The body.
Frustration, irritation, impatience.
Not frustrated, irritated, or impatient.. as these are beliefs. A mysterious reinforcing of stuckness.
Frustration, irritation, impatience.
Yes, that's where I'm at with most aspects of life. Thank you for seeing and sharing that with me.
Was the link supposed to take me somewhere? 🙂 -
22 hours ago, Phil said:
Who is the belief about?
I don't know, I don't think I can be a pair of letters when I observe them
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1 hour ago, Phil said:
Is it true, yes or no?
I don't know.
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17 hours ago, Phil said:
Is it true?
Who is the belief about?
Who is believing the belief?
Good enough for what? For who?
In comparison to what or who?
When, where, from who did you learn to think that way?
What is the evidence this is true?
Why does it feel discordant?
What is Source saying about this belief?
How would you feel if this belief weren’t true?
What might you do if this belief isn’t true?
Do you sometimes believe others aren’t good enough?
Who specifically?
What is one way this belief isn’t true?
What are three things you appreciate about this belief?
What are three ways in which you are good?
I guess I need to force myself to focus and be mindful of how discordant it feels.
Maybe all the thoughts about "my focus and mind" are just in the way. Like "there's something wrong with my focus and mind. It feels easier to avoid what feels difficult to focus on".
I think most answers that comes up are false, should I just not care about what thoughts come up, care more about the question and focus on what I see in direct experience?
Do you see why the Byron katie's method didn't work for me in the way I did it?
17 hours ago, Phil said:99.1%
What do you mean?
"If I don't understand something it must mean that I'm not smart or intelligent." That's a belief. Just wanted to write it out to see clearly. 😂
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23 hours ago, Phil said:
Meditation is traditionally not questioning beliefs, and is gently bringing the activity of thinking to rest, by shifting attention to perception and or sensation, such as feeling breathing in the stomach. Meditation in the practice sense is really nothing more than allowing the mind to clear, settle, be calmed, inherently peaceful.
What I meant was that before I question a belief I meditate to get focused, then I ask if the belief is true, I sit still and look at what thought comes up.
23 hours ago, Phil said:You would have to share the specific belief, for us to be able to discuss what might not seem to be working specifically.
"I'm not good enough" among others. I don't think it's about the specific belief, it seems to be about how I go about questioning it?
23 hours ago, Phil said:Writing a thought / belief down and looking at it visually is imo much much much easier.
Looking at it visually, and then what?...
What does one actually do when questioning?
These questions maybe sound stupid, or maybe it's just that I feel insecurity about asking.
It just seems like I'm not able to question, reflect or contemplate on questions or beliefs.
Maybe I'm already doing it effortlessly sometimes, but when I try to do it, I don't seem to be able to focus and trying to focus feels bad. It seems like a part of "my mind" is completely shut off, blocked and does not work.23 hours ago, Phil said:This is where the suggested methods shine.
Review the ten ox herding pictures.
To see this ‘work’ is headed somewhere (so to speak) which is more resonating, free, exciting & most worthwhile.
Create a dreamboard.
Written on that dreamboard is the unmistakable why of questioning & dispelling limiting beliefs. It is more readily clear the why is - what you want. This clarifies that though it might be difficult to confront and dispel discordant beliefs - you do in fact want to and are 100% behind it.
Use the emotional scale.
This is a simple go-to tool.
Suffering is not acknowledging emotion & instead believing, a belief.
That you can always acknowledge emotion to dispel any resistance or suffering is reassuring in terms of whatever might come up or be experienced as you go, as it were.
Beliefs are inherently isolating, limiting, discordant & confusing. Acknowledging emotion(s) is inherently connective, unifying, relieving & clarifying.
Daily morning meditation.
Thoughts arise at light speed and are believed just as fast. Meditation is an allowing of thought to settle, to fizzle out, and there is the spaciousness of self… and so when thoughts arise, they aren’t instantly believed, making inspecting beliefs much, much easier.
Daily use of an expression journal.
Dispelling beliefs is dispelling conditioning as is a very emotional undergoing.
Suppressing = suffering.
Expressing = liberation.
Aligned diet, one small change at a time.
Initially - a clear head and a body feeling good make a HUGE difference with respect to everything else being said here. The alignment of even the smallest of changes - that feeling of alignment - “speaks” more than any words will ever be able to convey.
Create a Calendar. Creating the event on a calendar is creating the experience. So say you & so shall it be.
Questioning beliefs / dispelling conditioning can bring a lot up & out. There is everything from something fun on the calendar to look forward to, to a massage or solo retreat, to cathartic modalities for helping the ‘up & out’, expression, releasing, along, making the entire endeavor easier and more enjoyable. Schedule some! 🙂
Create a Dream Journal.
As questioning what hasn’t been questioned before and dispelling beliefs therein occurs… one might experience discordant dream, often reoccurring, without receiving the message or guidance of the dream. All of the other suggested methods prior to this one minimize that, and thus dreams also contribute to emptying out of discord & suffering, as well as clarity & inspiration.
The practices I don't use from that list are emotional scale (however I'm mindful of emotions throughout the day) and a calendar.I write out my dreams when I feel like it, I don't often receive the full message.
Scheduling fun things in a calendar feels difficult, activities I want or meeting people I want are far away from me, or so I believe. I think I suffer so much more than necessary because of not talking to friends I feel connected to.
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I feel so FUCKING MISUNDERSTOOD! I feel grief and anger!!!!! I think most people who know me misunderstands and judges my life situation very negatively. That I'm just LAZY.
One of my sisters probably understands more than others but I think she misunderstands some things too.
My dad said that my mental health is all my fault lol. Our communication doesn't work right now. In a while he will realize he's old and dies soon and we will probably behave differentlyThese are just beliefs!!!!!
How do I make the most out of time?
in Emptying
Posted
Also, obviously what I don't think is working is taking action. Either I'm trying very hard to change things with action but not much changes or I avoid taking action because of how it feels (overwhelment or fear?).
And I don't think I've been questioning thoughts in a contemplative way that much either.
Guilt or unworthiness
I want it to feel easy to take action/focus on what I truly want to do and to be productive.
To feel relaxed and at peace.
To let go of the judgmental thoughts, perfectionism and "I'm not good enough".
To move to a new place. I'm going to move in June but I feel impatience. 😂
To do a lot of fun things and to travel a lot.
To love and feel deeply connected to everyone around me.
Breath awareness
Reading that it seems to me like I need to do what I was asking.