noomii
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Posts posted by noomii
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15 minutes ago, Rose said:
Take out some paper, write out all your options and the cons and pros to each your options. Put importance scores next to each one of your cons and pros. Calculate which option has the highest score.
Do the same thing with all the studies you could potentially do.
No one can tell you what is best for you. Only you know that. Writing things out will give you clarity, which is already what you’re trying to do here.
Ugh yeah I used to think a lot about "pros and cons" in the past regarding decisions but I think it makes me too focused on thoughts and believing there's a good/bad choice
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I feel worry about how I think I need to apply for studies. The last day to apply is tomorrow for most but for some you have more time.
I have an opportunity to get double support with money for one year, not needing to pay it back. But I won't get it if I decide to work, it's just support to get out of unemployment.I just don't know what I want to study.
I don't think I'm capable to read much at all, but that can change. I have looked at more practical studies.
I just feel worry that I will look back to this later and think I made a mistake to not apply for anything.
I think I could look more for studies I want right now, but I just feel a lot of worry and effort about looking for what I want and applying for anything. I just want to avoid all of this because of how it feels, but I don't want to make a mistake.
Is it better to not take action or make decisions when there is doubt or any discordant emotion? To instead focus on alignment, and to let what I want come effortlessly?
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I had my first meeting since january today with my psychologist.
I have repeated the same things and he asked the same things.
I'm not sure if I want to see him but I don't know what to do if I wouldn't.
I have had the worst period pain ever today, I felt so incredibly exhausted and didn't have appetite for dinner.
I feel so incredibly isolated and misunderstood by people around me. I feel really stuck here and that things are not working for me.
Seems kind of obvious that I need to relax and let go but it just doesn't work.
I have also thought that my adrenals are stressed out from chelation, so I thought that's maybe why I feel the way I do and that I need to support them more.
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On 4/2/2024 at 7:59 PM, Mandy said:
The subject of "how I feel", or "how I feel not how I want to feel" is not a subject that you want to focus on too long. Choose an easier subject. Often you'll find that they connect and there are metaphors, symbolism, when you're feeling better because you forgot to think about how you were feeling and just felt better. Let the cork float. Find an easy random subject and write about it.
Thanks! @Mandy
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I don't feel like using the emotional scale anymore. It just feels like a burden everyday. It feels much easier to just acknowledge and allow emotions as they appear.
I don't really understand fully why using the emotional scale is better than that, or if it is.
Either way I don't seem to be feeling better no matter what I do.
I feel kind of desperate wanting help. I don't know what to write, I just feel so much worry.
I want to spend more time questioning thoughts but I feel so much worry and want to relax. I don't want work and effort.
I don't know what to do.
It feels difficult to even write on here because of feeling a lot of worry, breathing shallow and really not thinking clearly. Then I sit and ground myself over and over like now but that doesn't work.
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23 hours ago, Phil said:
It might be clarifying to ‘frame up’ the saying all of those discordant things in the first place as the doing, which is energy zapping & exhausting… while dispelling the belief ‘behind’ the discordant thoughts is actually effortless, aligning, relieving & liberating.
Do you mean the belief behind the discordant thoughts could be "I can't" or "it's too difficult" ?
Is that meant as a belief behind the thoughts?
23 hours ago, Phil said:Feels great or not great?
Why?
True or not true?
Not great.
What comes up is that you have said that what doesn't feel great is not true.
But just hearing that doesn't really change anything if I'm not questioning the belief
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I don't think I'm going on a diet.
I'm going to let go of the rules, tune into feeling and eat intuitively.
I thought about making a list of foods that feel good that I can eat but honestly most food feel off or nauseous, I don't feel drawn to any food that I have in mind.
First meal today I ate some meat with tomato sauce, mushrooms and carrots, broccoli, haricot verts, khol rabi, avocado.
Khol rabi and avocado felt okay but I didn't feel drawn to it. Rest of it I felt nausea by. Meat felt heavy and I felt disgusted by it.
Second meal I ate one brazil nut, one apple, a lot of dates and a little bit of carrots, broccoli, haricot verts.
Brazil nut felt ok but not drawn to it.
Apple felt nausea. Dates felt better than apple but then I felt pain from eating too much. The rest of the veggies I felt nausea.
Not sure where to go from here. I think I'm going to pinterest or youtube for inspiration maybe.
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I have felt so much nausea lately, I really need to change my diet again.
I only ate one small meal yesterday, felt a lot of nausea while eating and then later right after I did the emotional scale stomach acid came up in my mouth.
I don't think I can eat any fruits right now, at least not banana, orange, apples or dates.
I think I'm going to do an anti-fungal diet, but I feel discouragement about it. From my experience it only worked while I was on it and it feels very challenging to exclude so much food from my diet.
I get really confused by people's different opinions about what I should do to heal.
If I just follow what feels good for me then it seems like anti-fungal diet is the closest to what fits me?
I have been tempted to do the medical medium cleanse but I feel a lot of resistance about that.
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On 3/27/2024 at 3:01 PM, Phil said:
Is shame an emotion / felt, or is shame a concept, and there is emotional guidance felt about the concept of shame?
Shame is a concept. It was insecurity that I tried to point to with the word shame.
On 3/27/2024 at 3:01 PM, Phil said:What happens when you attempt to physically point to who you’re talking about?
(The one which hasn’t lived up to expectations, the one which should do, the one that feels ashamed.)
As you’re (allegedly) thinking & saying these self disparaging & inherently discordant things - where is the one these thoughts are about?
Where is the thinker?
No guesswork - actually point to it.
Where is the one who needs?
Point to it.
Where is the one something needs to be proved, to?
Point to it.
Where is the one that avoids?
Point to it.
Where is “the one who tries”?
Point to it.
I don't know, I haven't tried what you said and I don't feel like it right now.
On 3/27/2024 at 3:01 PM, Phil said:What’s guilt ‘saying’ about emotional guidance being for thoughts (not the separate self of thoughts)?
I'm not sure.
I have used the emotional scale daily since the last post. Not always the whole scale. A lot of frustration. But I'm trying to be more relaxed and I'm more open to letting go of the resistance to using it.
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12 hours ago, Phil said:
How so?
Because I haven't lived up to expectations and what I believe I should do, I feel ashamed to even share about it.
Then I feel worry thinking I need to prove my worth with taking more action.
Then I feel overwhelment and avoid action.
Then the cycle repeats with guilt.
I'm going to try out the emotional scale again
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48 minutes ago, Phil said:
What is one emotion felt?
About what's said there it's guilt I think
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On 3/23/2024 at 3:14 PM, ThePoint said:
It's only up to you decide whether it was worth it or not. I'm not implying anything here.
Try this as an alternative exercise to the meditations listed on the website, it doesn't have to take much time and will be more efficient than battling with a need to relax or stop thoughts-flow;
1. Close your eyes and scan your body. Notice how you're feeling.
2. Feel love for the feeling exactly the way it is. Feel love for the power in the feeling.
3. Feel love for yourself feeling that love and feeling that power.
When you're willing to see more fully from your open heart and from the place of empowerment it's easier to remember that you're the creator of your World and all its unlimited abundance 👊
As to my suggestion to look for a practitioner worth working with... I generally meant that it would be someone who would help you with your symptoms should you choose to call them that, your thoughts and emotions, generally anything else that might cause some clog in a flow of your experience so to speak. He/She would help you with the entirety of it, not a single aspect, as it usually wouldn't work anyway.
Nothing wrong with going to many schools and trainings like the lady you've worked with did. It's always double edged though. It might as well imply that she's still looking for an answer as to how to do what she wants to do seeking external validation or putting multiple bodies of knowledge in front of her helplessness.
Or it might imply that she's continuously developing in her craft. Or it could mean anything else for that matter.
Generally, you can have an easier time finding someone matching your needs knowing what sort of healing path they are going/have went through.
Thanks 🙏
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On 3/24/2024 at 4:47 PM, Phil said:
Then who is saying it?
Sorry I don't know why I replied like that to the question.
I don't know who is saying it or who the the thought is about.
On 3/24/2024 at 4:47 PM, Phil said:What does the term “separate self of thoughts” point out?
What I believe is me I guess
On 3/24/2024 at 4:47 PM, Phil said:Can you leave the present?
No
On 3/24/2024 at 4:47 PM, Phil said:What is reactivity, or reactionary thoughts?
Unacknowledged thoughts?
When I've used the scale I've been mindful of how these thoughts about the scale feels like. But I've not been relaxed, I've been tense, having tics and not still.
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On 3/23/2024 at 2:05 PM, Phil said:
Are you the one saying that, or the one that is about?
The one that is about.
Have you been able to use it as a daily habit without feeling like it's full of effort? (Starting from the lower end of the scale and all the way up)Usually when I start a new habit I start with a very small step and slowly do more of it each day, which makes it feel easy as I get used to it. I have tried that with emotional scale but from what I remember it felt like a burden when doing that too.
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15 hours ago, Phil said:
Yes exactly. Meditation as a practice is fundamentally… shifting attention / awareness from thoughts to perception and or sensation / feeling.
If that is overly challenging don’t force or push through meditation. Take it as there is something to be expressed and released, and express and release.
The emotional scale can also be very insightful. Not to imply there are, but as an example, there could be thoughts about how meditation isn’t going to help, resolve something or essential, ‘work’. Acknowledging pessimism in that example is acknowledging feeling / emotion as guidance for thoughts.
Most fundamentally all one ever actually cares about is how one feels. If there are pessimistic thoughts, and the emotion pessimism isn’t acknowledged, the thoughts will continue to be self referential and therein elusive as they’re assumed & believed to be about self. The aspect of that the thoughts are actually about a second or separate self, goes unnoticed. In this way acknowleding emotions is like giving the thoughts landing strips so the cycling / repeating of the thought and the discord comes to rest… which feels better. Much like it boredom feels slightly better than pessimism, and contentment feels slightly better than boredom.
I have given up on the emotional scale, it just takes so much effort to maintain it as a daily habit 😕
Also if one says "relax" while meditating (basic relaxation), isn't that just contributing to thought-activity? I have skipped that part.
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23 hours ago, Phil said:
Body scan is a more active meditation.
For just straight relaxation try this one.
https://www.actualityofbeing.com/basic-relaxation
Train the body so to speak, to recognize contraction and de-contraction. Make and hold a fist very tightly contraction wise for at least 10 or 20 seconds, and then feel the relief & gravity as you unclench / de-contract the fist.
Focus is like the sun. It’s shining. There could be clouds (thoughts) about shining it or not shining it, shining it a little or a lot… and it’s shining just the same, without any intention or effort needed either way.
With focus out of the equation, when tensing up happens see what other phenomenon (thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc) coincide & correspond with the tension.
As far as if it’s right not to care about thoughts… there’s just no getting around right & wrong being… thoughts.
As far as letting go of trying to relax - yes, most definitely. There is also relaxing without thoughts about doing (the relaxing).
I've been doing my body scan like the instruction that you shared.
Maybe it's just about letting go of all these thoughts about meditation and feeling sensation.
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On 3/9/2024 at 7:46 PM, ThePoint said:
That's the thing with the word 'holistic'. It's the most misused word these days. Rather than meaning all-encompassing, it's being used to describe non-conventional, or frankly uneducated/with no qualification. All of the 'methods' Phil linked above as ' cathartic healing modalities' people would refer to as holistic modalities, none of which is holistic.
A random person can go to a Reiki class and call themselves a holistic therapist.
If you were to look for one you'd have to make sure you're going to someone worth working with.
She had gone to several different schools & trainings. I met her at a functional medicine clinic where they do comprehensive testing.
The protocols she shared with me didn't work for me, I don't know if it means she was not worth working with.
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🙏❤️
Would not say I'm quick to respond, definitely nothing personal 😂
On 3/11/2024 at 9:17 PM, Phil said:Relaxation wise… simply acknowledge gravity… and sink into it. Bring whatever thoughts resonate to mind, like ‘let go’, ’relax’, etc. One that works efficiently btw is ‘sleep’. Like, literally just… fall asleep right now. You wont actually (you might idk) but the responds to the thought favorably / relaxation wise. From a mental standpoint, ‘getting some of these thoughts out of the way’, like that there’s a right or wrong way of expression… contributes to more ease of relaxation. As you continue to unfetter of discordant thought and express emotions… relaxation won’t be an issue. Ineffably it’s more like, “ok, there’s 100 things I want to do, and I only have time for 5 today, so which are the highest most resonating preferences”.
I do body scan now, either the muscle don't relax or it tense up later again. I'm not trying to relax, I just let it happen naturally while I keep focus, but it doesn't.
Sometimes when I try to have a very relaxed approach to meditation I focus a lot less because it seems like when I focus I tense up.
Is it right to just go back to focus, to not care about any thoughts about relaxation/tension and just let the tension be? Instead of trying to relax?
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Last night I dreamt I was being attacked by a bear 😂 I stood by a swing and it ran towards me. First I thought I could climb up on top of the swing but I felt too weak.
I thought I'm just going to face it, I was aware it was a dream when the bear suddenly looked like a big teddy bear.
Then it attacked and crushed me with it's weight and I was mindful of how it felt. I wished I would wake up. I didn't die and later the bear was going to do something with me, I don't remember what. I seemed to forget that it was a teddy bear or that it was a dream.
Then later on from what I remember I think I turned out to be a non verbal disabled kid. Then I met my uncle, and I was not sure if he recognized me.
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On 3/7/2024 at 9:56 PM, Phil said:
Depends how it’s framed. Contemplation imo is going prior, deep within oneself. Questioning thoughts is lighter. Both can be highly enjoyable and fun. Even with the ‘barfing’… it can be challenging, yet it’s relief, releasing, and all that’s released is discordant. All that is Good, is you, and remains.
Keep it simple, and go from there. The simplest way to question thoughts is - is it true?
Wether yes or no…
Why do I think this way? When did I learn to think this way?
Explore that fully… and then apply appreciation, compassion for why people do what they do.
You are doing best, yes?
Everyone else is to.
You don’t really know what the hell is even going on. It’s just - here you are.
Well, same for everyone else.
I thought they were the same. Both feel difficult to me.
On 3/7/2024 at 9:56 PM, Phil said:Do you acknowledge guilt & unworthiness are guidance, in regard to how some thoughts, like ‘I’m not doing enough’ or ‘I’m not good enough’ - feel?
Just like a burning sensation is guidance for putting your hand on a hot stove?
If you do - what is the message therein?
And what is a better feeling, more aligned & resonating thought?
To let it go. I'm good as I am feels better. I'd rather say I'm perfect as I am but it sounds like I'm full of myself.
On 3/7/2024 at 9:56 PM, Phil said:That’s beautiful! How do those thoughts feel, compared to the discordant thoughts?
Does that shed light on the situation, or, what’s being said?
That discord is of the thoughts… emotions lower on the scale are how discordant thoughts feel… emotions higher on the scale are how aligned thoughts feel…?
Good. It makes sense yes.
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On 3/7/2024 at 9:56 PM, Phil said:One of the simplest and yet most profound things I’ve heard was from @Mandy on one of the group calls (maybe you were on it idk). It was, ‘how do I want to feel today?’ That’s a very powerful thought. That means as ‘old’ discordant thought arise - they’re let go. No fed attention, not dwelt on, just let go. You’ll find that peace, contentment is nature as you do. And that there is ‘reaching for a better feeling thought’, such as with emotions higher than contentment emotional scale wise. Thought patterns happen, and discordant thoughts arising diminishes as the thoughts are let go.
I was not on the group call, but I read about it here and since then I ask that daily in my journal. What I write is usually the same and mostly it haven't changed how I have felt during the day.
On 3/7/2024 at 9:56 PM, Phil said:There is also expediting, or cathartic healing modalities. These releases ‘stoke’ passion & creativity (by unfettering you). Have you experienced any? It’s a long list, hopefully not overwhelming, but there’s a large variety available. Maybe try one and see how it is. Then maybe another.
Yes and I have read through that list before too.
I just feel very uninspired and confused about what practice that's right for me, same with all of the meditations. Doubt and boredom maybe.On 3/7/2024 at 9:56 PM, Phil said:You might be referring this Breath Awareness (idk). If not, there might be an insight or two there. If you have any specific questions about technique or how it’s going, feel free. Imo that’s a great meditation to allow the mind to clear and the body to relax. I would give the list a once over as well, specifically all of the meditations prior to that one, just to see if any resonate as far as releasing (forgiveness etc).
I experience the same difficulty with all mindfulness meditations, not just the breath. Idk I don't even feel relaxed even though I think I do it the right way now.
The forgiveness meditation seems like a good one, but it seems like it's harder to stay focused and that it's not fit for a daily morning meditation, that's questionable though.
Thank you 🙏
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2 hours ago, ThePoint said:
Not sure what you mean by content.
I meant any information he shares here on the forum, youtube or his website.
2 hours ago, ThePoint said:Nothing's wrong with the method he shares. Most of them are rather useless and do not offer any lasting effects, but I imagine it's just a collection of stuff he found online.
I.e., somewhere where you will find mostly trash, more and more so.
Generally, his entire guidance work on the forum is biased towards spiritual bypassing. He's stuck on a shallow realisation and pushes it against others becoming a source of drama rather than the opposite. The state of Phil is mirrored perfectly in the form of this forum, community, people he attracts here and the neverending confusion and conflict with no resolution. Combined with his rather low awareness which he happily reinforces it's a recipe for... well, actualityofbeing.com
Makes me curious about what method you use to let go of beliefs, that have offered you lasting improvement and that you consider not to be spiritual bypassing.
2 hours ago, ThePoint said:You don't have mercury fillings, do you?
No but that's not the only source of heavy metals.
2 hours ago, ThePoint said:Where I'm going with that, is that if you're not getting results in similar timeframes, and I don't know whether you do or not, perhaps look into finding a practitioner to work with, I'm sure there's someone in your area who could be of help.
I've already been working with a holistic nutritionist a few years ago when I thought the root cause for most symptoms I experienced was SIBO, dysbiosis etc.
We didn't do any special diets because I still experienced issues with orthorexia. She just told me it's most important I cut out dairy, gluten and that I eat the rainbow everyday (foods with all colors).
I'm not interested in seeing a practitioner and I'm mainly focused on emotional healing right now.
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🙏😂
What about the other bars that don't feel good?
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5 hours ago, ThePoint said:
By the very definition.
What content Phil shares is spiritual bypassing?
5 hours ago, ThePoint said:Until it's dealt with it will always be on topic and also the biggest cause of your problems.
In what way is the gut disorders the cause of what I shared in the OP or other problems I experience that you have in mind?
I know there's sources saying brainfog, anxiety and depression can be caused by digestive issues. I don't think it's the root cause anymore, but maybe I'm wrong.
I'm also doing Andy Cutlers protocol for heavy metals, which they say is causing all sorts of things, including digestive issues. -
19 hours ago, WhiteOwl said:
I would rewatch or watch this video if you haven't already.
It might be helpful to go more broad when expressing emotions, instead of trying to figure out exactly what emotion some situation has you feeling, to do it more like it is described in this video. I notice a lot of emotions surfacing when expressing emotions in this way at least.
Thanks I will take a look at it 🙂
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