Can I Self-Realize without Meditation?

[Orb]

Hey guys, my schedule is packed and my mom always interrupts me when im meditating, she always wants to talk to me and stuff, shes an early bird so I have no chance to meditate as she will usually say something to me that will require me to respond and by the time she leaves for work Ill barely have time to meditate before I have work. And yes Ive tried waking up at 5-6am, I tried to not have anyone accommodate for my meditation sessions, but my mom wakes up at that time too. 

 

In the evening my mom comes home and interrupts me too when im meditating, ill tell her goodnight so that she can get the subtle queue that I will no longer be speaking to her for the rest of the day and want to have some space to meditate, even then she'll interrupt me even after I said my last goodbyes to her to tell me goodnight again and if I dont respond she keeps saying "Hello?....Oooooorrrrrrbbb.....you there?" until I respond "yes mom goodnight". 

 

Shes such a pain in the ass when it comes to meditation, I cant do it as long as im living with her, ive been living here for 2 years so believe me ive tried everything, I find meditation stressful because im always anticipating that my mom is gonna interrupt me for the millionth time to help her with something or just respond to good morning/night. 

 

I like meditation and will do it every morning and night when im living alone, but I cant do this living with my mom, im a very precise kind of guy, I get pissed when people disrupt my routine! Maybe its a lil autism coming up idk but its fucking annoying like let me have my routine, I need this 😡 🤯 !

 

Well anyways, can I practice more "active" things that dont require me to sit for 20-60 mins in silence in the meantime and still make "spiritual progress", still heal and let go of stuff and self-realize? 

 

Like can I just do self-enquiry as im doing work and other stuff? I cant sit down in silence for a few minutes, someones gonna interrupt me, someone from work is gonna call me. 

 

Its too stressful, I dont wanna explain myself anymore, I know it seems like im making excuses but I got 10,000 things coming from all angles and i dont have the time to meditate. 

 

When im living alone I will meditate every morning and night! I swear on my life! 

 

In fact when I was home alone for a week , I was living in heaven!! Every morning was beautiful, felt like I was rich with how I was conducting myself, when my mom came home I was like NOOOOO!! Now I wont have time to meditate bc my moms gonna ask me for help with every fucking thing! 

 

Sorry guys, ive been releasing a lot of anger, im a nice guy! 🥲

Edited July 27, 2022 by Orb

[Indisguise]

Maybe just ask her to leave you alone in the morning or in the evening? Tell her you need some time for yourself, communicate. No "subtle queues", just tell her to give you some private time. Doesn't seem healthy to constantly want to talk with your children anyway. 

Put your phone in airplane mode if you don't want to get called. 

Or better still, just leave the house and go somewhere in nature, meditate there. No people, no phones, nothing. 

[Orb]

@Indisguise

 

11 minutes ago, Indisguise said:

Maybe just ask her to leave you alone in the morning or in the evening? Tell her you need some time for yourself, communicate. No "subtle queues", just tell her to give you some private time. Doesn't seem healthy to constantly want to talk with your children anyway. 

 

Ive told her before, she just doesnt get it I guess. Shes so needy and its annoying, this is why I cant wait to move out, she always frames my love of solitude as abnormal. Although, shes great in other areas, I like to see the good in her or else im pulling all the hair outta my head. 

 

You know how annoying it is to pick up after your own parent?! Its fucking crazy! Like jesus christ im supposed to be the one making a mess in the kitchen and she picks it up, but its the other way around, shes like a fucking kid! 

 

I hate when parents think youre supposed to wipe their ass just because you came outta them. 😡

 

I feel bad because overall she is supportive and is trying her best, but im sick and tired of dealing with her childish bull shit, when i was home alone the house was cleaner and I was more focused. I feel heartbroken saying all these harsh things and she comes home later on and hugs me and says kind things to me. 

 

11 minutes ago, Indisguise said:

Or better still, just leave the house and go somewhere in nature, meditate there. No people, no phones, nothing. 

 

That sounds great, but the area I live in doesnt have any parks with benches or places to sit. 

 

Edited July 27, 2022 by Orb

[Dima]

You are the meditation, so there is only meditation, so can't self realise without it. 😂

 

But yeah, meditation practice is only needed for realisation that you don't need it, just notice during the day that you are awareness and not just thinking... but also it's very helpful to have both: morning 1 hour spiritual routine and do the work of noticing by undoing during the day.

[Phil]

Put in earbuds. 

[Aware Wolf]

Read U Tejaniya. He practiced while working at his family's stall in a busy market in Rangoon. You can look at your mind wherever and whenever, check in. 

 

Here is a list I made called One Minute Meditations. Enjoy!

 

One Minute Meditations

 

Check-ins With the Mind

What's Your Mind Doing? 

What's the Attached Judgement?

 

Mantra Buddho

 

Mantra Happiness, Joy, Rapture, Bliss

 

Quick Body Scans. Can combine with Happiness, Joy, Rapture, Bliss mantra. 

 

Focus on a pleasant sensation.  

 

Hearing (e.g., inner ear)

 

Metta & Gratitude

 

Kasinas

 

Sky Gazing

 

Mind Training Slogan

 

Tonglen

 

Mindful Stretching 

 

Sit in Quality Awake Awareness

 

Namo Buddhaya (I take refuge in the Buddha).

Mentally repeat separating each syllable and saying them slowly in his mind. Na. Mo. Bu. Da. Ya. Try to lengthen the pause between each syllable only moving on when your mind starts to wander. If it's ten seconds between syllables or a minute between syllables, that's fine. Relax and enjoy the pause, the silence. What's in that pause, anyway? Anticipation? What?

 

Hearing, Seeing, Smelling, Breath, 

Quick Body Scan, 

Mind State & Perception, 

and Sit in Awake Awareness

My favorite body parts include the shoulders which hold a lot of tension and a half Buddha smile). Smelling is a good sense to focus on as we often give smelling short shrift. For some reason, it amuses me. We don't often rely upon smells for information but smells can be powerful. 

 

Breath in focusing on the beautiful breath. Breath out with a silent mental Ommmm. Have a nice half Buddha smile while doing this. 

 

Gathas: 

Breath in with a word or slogan, Breath out with a word or slogan. 

I breath in Metta, I breath out smiles. 

I breath in peace, I breath out calm/equanimity. 

Relax. To the Max. 

 

Seven Factors of Enlightenment. 

This is in both the Satipatthana and Anapanasati suttas so it seems important. In early Buddhism, when someone was ill, reciting the seven factors of enlightenment to them was done because it was believed this had recuperative properties.   

 

[Blessed2]

Have you told her that you'd like to have a meditation routine? Why not just say that you need some time each day for yourself?

[Mandy]

Yup, but then you'll really want to meditate. 😬

[Aware Wolf]

On 7/27/2022 at 1:19 PM, Orb said:

In fact when I was home alone for a week , I was living in heaven!! Every morning was beautiful, felt like I was rich with how I was conducting myself, when my mom came home I was like NOOOOO!! Now I wont have time to meditate bc my moms gonna ask me for help with every fucking thing! 

 

 

This probably isn't helpful. Please excuse me. I know people and environment can be trying. 

 

But I keep thinking that it's a great opportunity to practice equanimity. Look at your mind. What is arising? What is your judgement of it all? 

 

Also, my mother passed away a couple years ago. If she was around asking me for help on everything -- it would be wonderful. Your mom won't be around forever. Enjoy the ordinary moments. Enjoy you have the ability to help another. Helping others is a great gift for both. 

 

Practically, i'd say help your mom. When there's a gap in her requests -- find something convenient you can get away for a bit.It's a dharma 

thing to say you can wash the dishes with no mind or wash the dishes with mindfulness. 

 

Ride your bike to a park and sit for a bit. Done. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Orb]

@Blessed2 I didnt want to be demanding, or to impose my way of living on her. I planned to wake up as early as possible and do it. Ill figure something out. 

 

 

@Aware Wolf Wow! Lots of resources, thanks 🙂. Yea im seeing that family on its own is a whole spiritual practice lol. Drive for a few hours to visit family yesterday, it felt good to put that much effort just to be present for my little brother. 

 

@Mandy Already happened, been meditating more often, an hour of meditation has become the norm.