Why I believe I can't create what I truly want !

[Someone here]

I often doubt my self and my ambitions.  I doubt  that I'm fundamentally capable of achieving everything I ever desired for . Like I'm not "worthy " of achieving those goals . I have a lot of limiting beliefs and stuff like "I'm not good enough " and else from this ilk  .

How to remove those mental barriers and really open my mind to the possibility that I am in fact capable of transforming my life into the life I truly want ?

I haven't made  dreamboard yet ..I just type the stuff I want on my ipad . I'm very lazy and I procrastinate a lot and I get lost in too much theory and less taking action. 

How to deal with all this ?

Any advice appreciated. 

Thanks. 

[Eothasian]

Why do you doubt yourself though?

[Someone here]

Just now, Eothasian said:

Why do you doubt yourself though?

Because from my childhood and school I always felt less worthy than other boys . And this habit of looking down on my self and judging myself as unworthy remained with me as I grew older . It's a habit I guess .

[Eothasian]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

Because from my childhood and school I always felt less worthy than other boys . And this habit of looking down on my self and judging myself as unworthy remained with me as I grew older . It's a habit I guess .

Unworthy how?

[Eothasian]

What are you unworthy of?

[Someone here]

10 minutes ago, Eothasian said:

Unworthy how?

Like I'm not man enough. Or I'm not worthy enough of having great things in my life because I'm a lazy ass who wastes his time everyday smoking and playing video games instead of working on my career and goals etc . So I feel like I'm not putting in much effort into crafting the life I truly want . And you know..you always get in life what you put into it .and I'm not putting much. So I'm not getting the desired results. 

[Eothasian]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

Like I'm not man enough. Or I'm not worthy enough of having great things in my life because I'm a lazy ass who wastes his time everyday smoking and playing video games instead of working on my career and goals etc . So I feel like I'm not putting in much effort into crafting the life I truly want . And you know..you always get in life what you put into it .and I'm not putting much. So I'm not getting the desired results. 

What Goals do you have in mind when you say that?

[Someone here]

8 minutes ago, Eothasian said:

What Goals do you have in mind when you say that?

Getting a job . Making money .buying a house and financial independence from my family .getting married. Raising a family .buying luxury items .etc 

[Eothasian]

Getting a Job ist already a pretty big Thing. 

Focus in that before you overwhelm yourself by thinking Out too far.

 

What Job do you want? Do you even want one?

[Someone here]

5 minutes ago, Eothasian said:

What Job do you want? Do you even want one?

I want to become a philosopher .or a philosophy professor.  That's my passion . But I know that's not gonna happen.  I study business in university. And I can't become a philosopher with a business degree . So that goal can't be achieved.  And the other goals as well ..I don't believe I'm capable of achieving any of them . I'm too lazy and I don't take the necessary steps towards my goals. 

[Eothasian]

Maybe they aren't your Goals then?

 

You don't need to study Philosophie to be a Philosopher.

 

[Someone here]

1 minute ago, Eothasian said:

Maybe they aren't your Goals then?

What do you mean ?

1 minute ago, Eothasian said:

You don't need to study Philosophie to be a Philosopher.

 

I do, if I want to become a professional philosopher or a philosophy professor. 

[Mandy]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

Like I'm not man enough. Or I'm not worthy enough of having great things in my life because I'm a lazy ass who wastes his time everyday smoking and playing video games instead of working on my career and goals etc . So I feel like I'm not putting in much effort into crafting the life I truly want . And you know..you always get in life what you put into it .and I'm not putting much. So I'm not getting the desired results. 

The belief that what you want takes work and effort, might be one thing that is holding you back. Inspired action does not feel like work, it feels as thrilling as hitting the gas on an open clear highway after leaving the congestion and traffic lights of a city. 

[Someone here]

13 minutes ago, Mandy said:

The belief that what you want takes work and effort, might be one thing that is holding you back. Inspired action does not feel like work, it feels as thrilling as hitting the gas on an open clear highway after leaving the congestion and traffic lights of a city. 

Well, I'm not so sure about that .

Personally I choose to put in great effort as I desire big results. My goals are a stretch and always involves new skills, new beliefs, new ways of thinking and I’ve found that it takes commitment and effort to get past the discomfort until it feels effortless.

Others choose to set small goals or goals that don’t require much effort.

My question to self would be what is the purpose of me having dreams and setting goals and how much effort am I prepared to put in. If im prepared to put in great effort, then dream big. If not, don’t.

[Mandy]

@Someone here I'm all for dreaming big if the dream feels good, if not examine the thoughts about it. Maybe we want that big dream because we hate who we are now and see it as an escape from thoughts that don't feel good about ourselves, not because it truly inspires us or that in our heart of hearts we actually desire it. Maybe seeing that big dream on the dream board feels bad because it highlights our discordant thoughts of unworthiness and we call ourselves lazy. Maybe effort isn't required but dropping the self flagellation in calling ourselves lazy is.  Before I can actually get up and clean my house, I have to first stop beating myself up for being messy and lazy. Mel Robbins' count down from 10 tip totally transformed her life because she in that counting stopped the thinking that was calling herself a worthless piece of crap and keeping her exactly where she didn't want to be. 

[Someone here]

7 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Someone here I'm all for dreaming big if the dream feels good, if not examine the thoughts about it. Maybe we want that big dream because we hate who we are now and see it as an escape from thoughts that don't feel good about ourselves, not because it truly inspires us or that in our heart of hearts we actually desire it. Maybe seeing that big dream on the dream board feels bad because it highlights our discordant thoughts of unworthiness and we call ourselves lazy. Maybe effort isn't required but dropping the self flagellation in calling ourselves lazy is.  Before I can actually get up and clean my house, I have to first stop beating myself up for being messy and lazy. Mel Robbins' count down from 10 tip totally transformed her life because she in that counting stopped the thinking that was calling herself a worthless piece of crap and keeping her exactly where she didn't want to be. 

Well I'm pretty sure that I hate my state of life in this present situation where I don't have everything I want . So that's why I'm trying to change my life situation. But i expect great results without putting in the necessary effort and thats where I fuck up .

We all want to achieve something in our lives. We all have goals that we set, yet oftentimes we let them disappear in the background while wasting our time in mediocrity. Getting mediocre results because we live a mediocre life . But what does it take to really achieve anything? How can you go about accomplishing a goal that you’ve always wanted to accomplish?

Well, in the past, if you’ve set some goals and you didn’t follow through, there’s a reason for that. There’s a reason that we throw up our hands in silent resignation. Most of us simply want something and we want it now; we don’t want to have to work tirelessly for it.

So, how do we go from simply saying we want something, to actually following through and achieving anything we put our minds to? How do we push through when all we want to do is give up?

These are the questions I'm trying to answer for myself in the meantime. 

[BlendingInfinite]

You lack of accurate planning, obviously.

 

[BlendingInfinite]

Create an accurate strategy that incorporates your own psychology i.e. your likely behavior in situations.

 

You must first define everything abstractly and then break it down. Then abstract again from detailed.

So that you get a feeling for your strategy or your way.

 

Furthermore, waypoints should be planned pessimistically (not optimistically!) to increase safety and minimize risk and maximize the success probability for your optimal outcome. You should expect the worst possible output and work towards the best and take that into account in your planning.

 

Also, you'd have to plan it so that you won't have a family and luxury items for 20 years, for example. Otherwise, you might act impatiently or greedily or reactively exactly when you don't expect it.

 

Instead of working toward one thing, you would have to hedge with several layers, which you then gradually remove as you succeed. This will give you more opportunities to try things again later.

 

Edited June 29, 2022 by BlendingInfinite

[Mandy]

15 minutes ago, Someone here said:

We all have goals that we set, yet oftentimes we let them disappear in the background while wasting our time in mediocrity.

Is appreciating a sunset a waste of time? 

[BlendingInfinite]

@Mandy

He imagines the image that is conveyed by the self-help scene.

 

That fulfillment comes through mega-success and that you need a life purpose.

 

The people who are successful with this are of course not really fulfilled, but rather dopamine junkies who would feel empty and meaningless without the illusion of 'being more'. Tony Robbins included. Like you need a meaning in the sense of you being 'someone' who 'represents something' in this world. This is the ticket to suffering, because you expect fulfilment from something you have, like a life purpose or meaning.

 

This leads to the fact that less and less people are satisfied with what they have and run after an ideal, with which even the people who live it are not really happy with.

 

In addition, it divides society into people, who think 'most people are like that and there are people who can archive more. I am not fulfilled is because I can do better than they are and these people stop me from reaching my potential'.

Edited June 29, 2022 by BlendingInfinite