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What is the secret to a good life?


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secret (n.)

late 14c., "that which is hidden from human understanding;" early 15c., "that which is hidden from general knowledge;" from Latin secretum "secrecy; a mystery; a thing hidden; secret conversation," also "retirement, solitude," noun from secretus "set apart, withdrawn; hidden, concealed, private." This is a past-participle adjective from secernere "to set apart, part, divide; exclude," from se- "without, apart," properly "on one's own" (see se-) + cernere "to separate" (from PIE root *krei- "to sieve," thus "discriminate, distinguish").

https://www.etymonline.com/word/secret

 

I know it can seem annoying when we are asking for an answer to our question or engagement with a topic, but undoing language can be far more satisfying in answering the question as it's presented. Wouldn't do this in most conversations for sure, but I think here, that's what we're here for. Why the use of the word secret? What does secret mean? What is exclusion? What is separation? What is knowledge? How can one KNOW that they do not know? Is there really exclusion? 

 

So maybe I'm seeking special knowledge that will make my life good, in a sea of others whose lives are not good so I think, but what is the judgment of my life as good but fleeting knowledge, a thought in time? Then is the requirement for the judgement or knowledge that I possess a good life (and inherent in that belief of possession that I can lose it) actually a limitation that is concealing the unconditional good of now? 

 

In love, (known by how it feels, not as a judgement of oneself as loving or loved), there is no separation, nothing set apart, no hidden knowledge. 

 

Mandy can say she thinks that the secret to a good life is lots of time in nature, a good dog, a good man, good art, good people, meditation, exercise, good food, time for reading and writing, etc but it turns out that all that is just a tip of the iceberg fleeting expression of Good. 

 

 

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@Mandy i learned something from this thank you. It seems that there is value in inspecting the words i'm using. 

I also clicked your youtube link and watched the last video where you explained what care means. 

You have a really nice channel and energy.

I want to feel this good too. 

 

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@MazE Thank you. ❤️ When you say "I want to feel this good too" know that ultimately you do. When you see someone feeling good and you feel good, that's true recognition. Don't compare your inner self with other's outer selves. In other words, if I'm feeling bad because I'm thinking thoughts that don't feel good and I look at a bunch of smiling models in a magazine, and they only highlight the discord I'm feeling, that's comparison. However if I'm feeling good and I look at a happy carefree model and I feel appreciation and love, I am her. It's not that I have to change my face, my body and get a modeling job, it's simply a matter of recognition in that moment. She does not represent a desire of good feeling in the future, there simply is that now. See how Good you directly are?

 

"Namaste, the light within me recognizes the light within you".

We are the same light, love felt directly/now (not thought of) is the recognition. 

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@Mandyi don't think that i ever met an awakened person in everyday life. Everyone is caught up in stories. 

It takes courage to let love shine in dysfunctional environments and be so much different than what is considered normal, by recognizing the sameness.

But these are nothing but thoughts. 

 

My now is physical exhaustion from work. 

Most of the time i feel exhausted. 

To stop feeling exhausted i need to replace my job with something else. To do this i need energy which i don't have. 

Whatever the situation it's still always now... I tend to give more attention to the thought patterns than the actual now. 

 

tire (v.1)

"to weary," also "to become weary," Old English teorian (Kentish tiorian) "to fail, cease; become weary; make weary, exhaust," of uncertain origin; according to Watkins possibly from Proto-Germanic *teuzon, from a suffixed form of PIE root *deu- (1) "to lack, be wanting."

 

So i lack energy and i want it... Maybe by saying that i'm tired i focus on the lack of energy instead on what i want which is plenty of energy. Words sure are sneaky... 

 

 

 

 

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Accurately and obviously recognize that suffering is an activity that comes from oneself.

 

At the same time, by recognizing that you can immediately generate the activity of joy yourself without practice.

 

Thereby being able to let go of suffering just like that immediately.

 

Being aware of everything that feels good to you and effortlessly being in it all the time.

Because it was recognized that nothing comes from the outside.

 

You can derive it from simple logic

Left means not right

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23 hours ago, MazE said:

 

It takes courage to let love shine in dysfunctional environments and be so much different than what is considered normal, by recognizing the sameness.

Well, I'd say it's far easier because love is the only thing free of resistance and prerequisites. Here's another one...

courage (n.)

c. 1300, corage, "heart (as the seat of emotions)," hence "spirit, temperament, state or frame of mind,"from Old French corage "heart, innermost feelings; temper" (12c., Modern French courage), from Vulgar Latin *coraticum (source of Italian coraggio, Spanish coraje), from Latin cor "heart" (from PIE root *kerd- "heart"). https://www.etymonline.com/word/courage

 

23 hours ago, MazE said:

 

Most of the time i feel exhausted. 

To stop feeling exhausted i need to replace my job with something else. To do this i need energy which i don't have. 

More, that if you drop the resistant thoughts, your energy isn't going to be wasted anymore. Inner state first, then outer circumstances follow. You have the energy, you already are it, it's just being used inefficiently in thinking you don't have it. Forget the job, forget the situation, make it about how you feel unconditionally. 

 

If you put a vase of flowers in an uninspiring, unkept room, it changes everything. In the appreciation and focus on the flowers, suddenly the whole room is honored and appreciated. Now the inspiration for picking up and putting away misplaced items is there, and it's effortless. You want to appreciate your job. If you can't do this as a whole, metaphorically put a vase of flowers in the room. Find one focal point to focus on that you love. Watch what happens. 

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Live in the gray world, no plants in your room, work a 9 to 5 you hate, not having any passions, get some fast food, slip out of your shoes and flick on the TV, rest real hard on the weekend and complain about Monday, complain about the weather, complain about the traffic and your co-workers, despise the forest, especially when it's raining, try to fit in, ridicule those who don't, seek the sleep, defy wakefulness, disregard art, don't try to understand your fellow human beings, judge them for who they are, judge yourself for who you are, gobble up your breakfast, jump from task to task ASAP, don't view life as precious but a boring grind, wither away instead of blossoming.

 

Fitter Happier.

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9 hours ago, Mandy said:

 

More, that if you drop the resistant thoughts, your energy isn't going to be wasted anymore. Inner state first, then outer circumstances follow. You have the energy, you already are it, it's just being used inefficiently in thinking you don't have it. Forget the job, forget the situation, make it about how you feel unconditionally. 

 

If you put a vase of flowers in an uninspiring, unkept room, it changes everything. In the appreciation and focus on the flowers, suddenly the whole room is honored and appreciated. Now the inspiration for picking up and putting away misplaced items is there, and it's effortless. You want to appreciate your job. If you can't do this as a whole, metaphorically put a vase of flowers in the room. Find one focal point to focus on that you love. Watch what happens. 

 

I don't agree. No matter how much i focus on what i love doesn't change the fact that i'm like an actual slave. 

I have tons of energy and i use even the last drop at work. I don't have a choice. I must endure this too until i can change things.

I actively destroy my health for a long time now. Everything does it's best to keep me down. Governments, laws, schools, parents, money, health, people. Words are nice but they don't help. I'm still sane which is good but what i'm living is not life.

 

9 hours ago, Lotus said:

Live in the gray world, no plants in your room, work a 9 to 5 you hate, not having any passions, get some fast food, slip out of your shoes and flick on the TV, rest real hard on the weekend and complain about Monday, complain about the weather, complain about the traffic and your co-workers, despise the forest, especially when it's raining, try to fit in, ridicule those who don't, seek the sleep, defy wakefulness, disregard art, don't try to understand your fellow human beings, judge them for who they are, judge yourself for who you are, gobble up your breakfast, jump from task to task ASAP, don't view life as precious but a boring grind, wither away instead of blossoming.

 

Fitter Happier.

 

I have passions, i don't watch tv, i don't complain about the weather or my coworkers, i like the forest especially when it's raining, i'm the definition of not trying to fit in, i do need sleep, i know what wakefulness is like, i love art, i'm an empath, i do judge them because they suck, i don't judge me because it's just not my fault, my work is asap, life is precious but i'm trapped in a boring grind and i wither away while blossoming. 

 

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@Mandy never mind. You are right. I like to complain. The flowers in my room are the songs that i am becoming better at making. This too will pass. I'm obviously here asking questions because i really struggle to continue this survival fight. I appreciate everyone's help. My dark days are long gone. I'm fine but i abuse my body with this work and with smoking. 

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@MazE When you make songs do you practice notes that you already know sound bad together or do you practice chords that do sound good together? You have a sense of what sounds good and what does not, but if you aren't listening and aren't clearly intending to make an interesting song, you wouldn't be making music... you'd be making random mindless noise. I'm not a musician at all, but I have a keyboard set up in my home and two young kids who like to play with it, I know what this noise sounds like, trust me. 😂 There's nothing wrong with admitting and expressing how we feel, but don't practice it and memorize it if it feels/sounds bad. Don't mindlessly practice those chords.  You are not a slave. Your thoughts are notes. 

 

If you want to stop smoking, and eating healthier, focus on that. Focus on feeling good, on tuning in to your body. This situation as a whole, "abuse of your body" is direct because by thinking that over and over again that you're  slave and can do nothing, etc, those thoughts feel awful and is directly in that moment abusing your body. Practicing discordant thoughts = abusing my body. See the irony that the subject of those discordant thoughts are the discord of abusing your body at work? What is there to your body, directly, right now? Feeeeeeeling. Listen.... feel. Stop thinking thoughts that feel awful. Start choosing better ones. Same idea as making music. 

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9 hours ago, MazE said:

No matter how much i focus on what i love doesn't change the fact that i'm like an actual slave. 

If that's how you feel, have you ever considered riding a skateboard? Can you imagine giving it a shot?

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@MazE

If I focused on thoughts about / the framing of slavery and survival I’d be sunk already, with the weight of the world on my back. I’d experience through a misperception of me against the world and miss everyone and everything is actually lining up with what I desire to consciously create. I’d be at a ten with what I could let go of while believing I’m at a one with how much there is to do, and therein I wouldn’t exercise, meditate, etc, and change would seem like some mystery others somehow managed to figure out & accomplish. Instead of inspiration, alignment & conscious creation, this experience would be unending nihilistic motivation, lack, shortage, and a peculiar restlessness creeping in of undeservedness and unworthiness. 

 

https://www.amazon.com/Surrender-Experiment-Journey-Lifes-Perfection/dp/080414110X/ref=nodl_

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@Mandy this analogy was amazing. That's a great way to think about it. 

Some automatic thought patterns and behaviors are what i need to work on. 

My body reaches for a cigarette by default. To stop this from happening it's like trying to swim upstream. Of course i'm not in the now and that's the cause of the problem. Actually in the now there is never a problem but my default is creating problems.

 

3 hours ago, Lotus said:

If that's how you feel, have you ever considered riding a skateboard? Can you imagine giving it a shot?

I won't do it but i get it. It's a great suggestion. Maybe in the future. Me learning about music produces the same feeling.

@Phil i do create all this but it's not conscious. I do use the exhaustion from work as an excuse as to why i can't stop my automatic behaviors. It's true to some extent. Still an excuse but just harder in comparison to others that don't have such a job. 

Yeah i can see it. It all starts from my thoughts.

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45 minutes ago, MazE said:

 

My body reaches for a cigarette by default. To stop this from happening it's like trying to swim upstream. Of course i'm not in the now and that's the cause of the problem. Actually in the now there is never a problem but my default is creating problems.

 

I won't do it but i get it. It's a great suggestion. Maybe in the future. Me learning about music produces the same feeling.

@Phil i do create all this but it's not conscious. I do use the exhaustion from work as an excuse as to why i can't stop my automatic behaviors. It's true to some extent. Still an excuse but just harder in comparison to others that don't have such a job. 

Yeah i can see it. It all starts from my thoughts.

Actually set a timer on your phone, and spend just five minutes today doing anything which is not about “you”.  It could be giving a few bucks to a homeless person, or just staring at a bird. Just five minutes not about “you”. 

You’ll love how this feels, and get a glimpse of the self referential thought loops, about a “you”. 

Motive (of the “separate self”) and Inspiration will be a pinch clearer. 

 

One of the amazing things that transpires with daily morning meditation, creating a dreamboard, and using the emotional scale…. is focus shifts very naturally from self referential loops, or,  an idea of you, to experience. Blame is experienced as guidance in regard to your thoughts, beliefs and focus, rather than a justifiable way of life. Disappointment & overwhelment are embraced, welcomed, for the release, for where you’re headed, and are no longer believed to be dwellings to reside in. Jealousy is most refreshing and inspiring. Anger is a gift, and even frustration clarifies. 

 

But before the emotional suppression releases, the mind could use some clarity. So start (imo) with that five minutes. 

Today. 

Tomorrow, six. 

 

Trade a conditioned mind for a conditioned body. 

Let go the beliefs in wakefulness, wake up the lion. 

Meditation after exercise is delightful. 

 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-loophole-shake

Simple, inexpensive, easy, alignment. 

 

Just a hunch… really actually take a minute or two to isolate & identify who in your upbringing was so stubborn, hard headed, arrogant and never allowed, never got out of their own way, never allowed humility and ease… for the sake of no longer believing it’s you. 

It so isn’t. 

They were / are quite hypocritical. They do everything they say they don’t do. They believe everything they say they don’t believe. They judge everything & everyone they say they don’t judge. 

That is not you. 

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