What is the secret to a good life?

[MazE]

@Phil

But before the emotional suppression releases, the mind could use some clarity. So start (imo) with that five minutes. 

Today. 

Tomorrow, six. 

 

I will. 

1 hour ago, Phil said:

 

Just a hunch… really actually take a minute or two to isolate & identify who in your upbringing was so stubborn, hard headed, arrogant and never allowed, never got out of their own way, never allowed humility and ease… for the sake of no longer believing it’s you. 

It so isn’t. 

They were / are quite hypocritical. They do everything they say they don’t do. They believe everything they say they don’t believe. They judge everything & everyone they say they don’t judge. 

That is not you. 

I don't really understand what you mean.

I don't believe that's me. Even in the ego sense that was never me. 

 

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, MazE said:

 

My body reaches for a cigarette by default. To stop this from happening it's like trying to swim upstream. Of course i'm not in the now and that's the cause of the problem. Actually in the now there is never a problem but my default is creating problems.

 

Cigarettes played a very important function in a lot of people's lives, and imo they should be appreciated for that function. You can't really let go of something until you appreciate what it did for you. What is that? An excuse to take a break,  relax and mindfully breathe. Even the repetition of the arm/hand movements play a part in the relaxing effect of cigarettes, but most of all the breathing. Watching the smoke diffuse to nothingness is pretty relaxing too. Program into your day breaks where you breathe deeply, slowly, however you want to and let yourself relax. This is the bulk of what you are getting from cigarettes, so start doing this, whether you do or don't cut back on the smoking. 

 

This might seem like a really strange question but, what kind of laundry detergent are you using? It's one of the biggest offenders for 24/7 veiling/inundating the senses and cutting off our awareness of what is good for us and not good for us. Most conventional brands of body wash, shampoos, deodorants are the same way. Opt for unscented or natural products. 

[Phil]

@MazE

It might or might not be worth taking a minute to consider really. This would be more in the ‘unpredictable comment’ category. 🙂 

 

[MazE]

@Mandy smoking is an addiction. I smoke to get nicotine. The movement of smoking is psychologically addictive.

I'm using what is cheap but this is not the reason i continue smoking.

@Phil you helped a lot thank you. As for the thread i asked a question and then i made it about me. I am working to make things less about me.

[Phil]

16 minutes ago, MazE said:

As for the thread i asked a question and then i made it about me. I am working to make things less about me.

Nothing wrong with that! That’s the ideal of threads imo. It’s only the thoughts of you which I’m pointing to. You, actual right now you is too awesome for words. Unthinkably amazing. 

 

 

[Mandy]

36 minutes ago, MazE said:

@Mandy smoking is an addiction. I smoke to get nicotine. The movement of smoking is psychologically addictive.

I'm using what is cheap but this is not the reason i continue smoking.

Yeah, that's what is commonly collectively believed about smoking. I know people who have dropped smoking very easily and didn't start again for years on end and those who have failed to after very serious life altering cancers. It's all about the thoughts you choose to entertain. Addiction is a thought. 

 

The reason I ask about laundry detergent is that if your priority is health, it's an easy way to rid yourself of air pollutants and stressors on your system, and to notice and appreciate the difference. There is no story of having an addiction to it. It's just laundry detergent. If you're very hungry, go for the low hanging fruit, eat that, then you'll have the energy to go get a ladder and pick the rest. Start where you can and appreciate yourself for it. We almost never tell ourselves that we are doing a good job. Do that for yourself and see what happens. 

[MazE]

@Mandy i see. Yes addiction is too a belief even if true. Everytime i don't smoke for a day i can't do anything other than stay in bed. I can't function. There was also a time that i quitted for 2 weeks effortlessly because i changed my beliefs. 

Small steps then. Got it.

 

The 5' that were not about me made me realize that i'm completely disconnected from nature. I live in my head, go to work and look at screens. I will start by taking a walk some days. It's like i'm living in a cage. Like living in a cage is of course a negative thought. Is it discordant to say something like this? I guess i know the answer. I'm free to take walks and drive around then.

Edited May 9, 2022 by MazE

[Mandy]

5 hours ago, MazE said:

@Mandy i see. Yes addiction is too a belief even if true. Everytime i don't smoke for a day i can't do anything other than stay in bed. I can't function. There was also a time that i quitted for 2 weeks effortlessly because i changed my beliefs. 

That is amazing! See, you've already done it. 

 

@MazE Yes, nature is strangely, mysteriously, delightfully healing. 🌙🌎

 

 

[Llurendt]

I haven't read through all the posts, so perhaps this has already been said, but something I have found to be very beneficial in my journey is simple appreciation and gratitude for your experience, every day, in each moment. The more you practice gratitude and appreciation, the more you will find to be grateful for, and the better this existence will feel. Another point, which you have likely heard before, is that we can and should allow for all that we cannot control to simply be. Desiring to control creates discord when we cannot impact those things in a way we feel is acceptable.

We have the opportunity to shape our perception of this existence, and as we shape that perception, our experience of the world changes. Be willing to let go of anything which is preventing you from being WHO you want to be. Love, to me, is an ultimate Truth of reality, and is emotion and action. Listen carefully to the still, small voice found in the quiet of the mind, and see what you can find out. Each of us has access to the Infinite.

May you find the boundless Love and Peace and Wisdom that is already inside of you, my friend.

[MazE]

@Llurendt yes gratitude is important and something that i always forget. Thank you for your post.

[Phil]

🙂

The secret to a good life might be that there is no good and bad.  

[MazE]

@Phil only consequences.

[Faith]

@MazE Not sure if you've maybe heard my smoking story on here, but in case not here we go. I'll even elaborate more then I have in the past.

 

I started smoking at 10, yes, you heard right 10 yrs old. I had an older sister that decided to teach me to smoke. By the time I was 12-13 I was a 1/2- full pack a day smoker, then progressed to full pack or more a day 

 

I continued to smoking until I was pregnant then quit cold turkey, but started back up again shortly after my son was born. I would quit 2 more times for a year each and always went back to it. This doesn't count the numerous times I would quit for a week or 2 or 3...and go back to it. 

 

10 yrs ago I decided to mostly vape and smoke occasionally, but it was just as addictive, if not more, because I could do it all the time. Plus, I let myself smoke when I wanted. 

 

5 yrs ago I couldn't stand the insanity any longer. I was spending hundreds of dollars on vape juice and supplies a month. Lol, so ridiculous!

 

So, I got a tip from someone who had been a hard core smoker and quit, that I should read Allen Carr's "Easy way to stop smoking". So, I read it online and decided I would quit. I took a week off work to quit cold turkey and deal with it whatever issues I had. Bought a bunch of candy and yummy food to snack on, so I had something to do with my hands and mouth. Also, I swore if I got through that week I would never, under any circumstances inhale anything again.

 

That was almost 5 years ago now and trust me it seemed like a miracle. I didn't think I could ever quit. I also use to complain about my smoking addiction on a spiritual forum I was on years ago. I think I was looking for a ray of hope that someone had been as bad as I was and made it to the other side, because we both know the threat of cancer, just doesn't do it for some odd reason. 

 

So, I'm here to tell ya,  you CAN do it. You can. 😊

 

[MazE]

@Faith yes this book worked the first time for 2 weeks and then i smoked one when i was drunk thinking that there is no way that i start again and then here we go again. Vaping i tried i ended up both vape and smoke. I tried with sweets and junk food and i didn't smoke till night but i ate so much unhealthy stuff that it could be dangerous. I have one more week off. I will just do it. I smoke for 11 years now. Plus 4 years before only on occasion. 

[Faith]

@MazE Just know that all the negative self talk around not being able to quit is just mind chatter meant to kept you stuck, but you can see through that!

 

Good luck

 

Edit: PS, don't use any mind altering substances for awhile after you've quit smoking. 

[MazE]

@Faith thank you. I started drinking more alkohol lately but other than that i take nothing. Coffee and sugar. So 4 mind altering substances i'm on.

[Faith]

@MazE Alcohol doesn't mix with quiting smoking. Just sayin', because the mind isn't vigilant when it's drunk to avoid temptation. 

[MazE]

@Faith yeah i know... The thing is that day that i smoked that cigarette after 2 weeks i was in a bar for hours without the slightest temptation. I was so proud that when i went home i thought that it was not a problem anymore. Of course that was a mistake. Or other times extremely stressful things happen out of nowhere and i go back to it. 

It's also a good mix with coffee...

Coffee, alcohol, stress etc that i'm used to automatically deal with smoking for over a decade. But of course i know that it's possible to quit just like that. 

It's so hard is what i would normally say but the reason this book works so well is because it's called the easyway. It will be what you believe it is. 

I certainly can't quit while working. I have a week left to stop.

[Faith]

1 hour ago, MazE said:

this book works so well is because it's called the easyway. It will be what you believe it is. 

He dispels a lot of myths about smoking in the book, which makes it easier. The title just gets ppl to read it, imo. 

 

Btw, I was the queen of excuses as to why I couldn't quit. We tell ourself every reason imaginable and we believe our crap. Been there done that. 

 

You know what's ironic, Allen Carr  quit smoking after 30 years and was up to I believe 5 packs a day and 24 years later at age 72 he died of lung cancer. 

 

[MazE]

@Faith i read it and it worked for me even if it was only for 2 weeks. I don't believe that the tittle was just marketing. This book actually showed me that it's actually easy to quit with the right mindset.

I didn't know that he died. I don't find it ironic. 5 packs for 30 years is a lot... Maybe he expanded his lifespan by 23 years who knows. He is good example of a leader for me.