Kevin Posted July 4 Posted July 4 So I’ve been doing lots of TRE and meditation for the past month. And 2 weeks ago I slowly started spiraling emotionally. My therapists suggested today that I am likely stirring up lots of emotions. So all these emotions are coming up but they aren’t getting released so it becomes hard to handle. This made sense to me because I noticed if I have a good cry then I feel relieved after and like a weight has been lifted. Sometimes after a workout or Jiu Jitsu session I’ll feel that release as well. So it seems like these practices are stirring up my emotions but it seems hard for me to cry so I guess things build up. So I’m wondering about how to have that emotional release. I can usually feel things start to build up. For example my desire to go out and do things decreases and I feel tired. But I have trouble crying on command. Quote Mention
Mandy Posted July 4 Posted July 4 Like everything that's wanted, it's attracted, it will show up in all its unedited perfection as long as you don't continuously notice that it hasn't yet. Quote Mention Youtube Channel
Phil Posted July 4 Posted July 4 Music is very inspiring. When one gets directly involved in creating music there can be a process of much inspiration followed by much disillusionment, as a mix of previously un-inspected sep self comparative thoughts, limiting beliefs being dispelled, and emotion felt more deeply. It can be a kind of a ‘foggy’ uncertain looking-for-ground phase. Be mindful it’s progressive and there is no true regression. If ever at a loss for that view, go sit in nature alone for 15 minutes. Always does the trick. Bring the unconditional aliveness of music back into your life, and therein the nostalgia as well, from before ‘becoming a musician’. This is a rare occasion where I suggest pushing through - blast yourself with music. The more bass the better, and I wouldn't mess around with contemporary garbage, I’d go straight to the soul with Motown. It pulls the right strings and hits the right notes for cathartic release, relating in terms of suffering, liberation & inspiration, while the bottom line is always made perfectly clear. Be aware of comparative thoughts and consider journaling more as temporary break from involvement with music to expedite releases and allow the inspiration to not only rekindle but magnify. Set it free as it were; it pulls a pheonix on you every time re-arising anew. Notice as deeply as possible all the music is for you by you, in spite of any temporary comparative selves based thoughts. Go sub-thoughts, sub-therapeutic, with new experiences where someone else is involved and your emotional barriers are ‘challenged’ by the presence of someone who’s beyond (prior to) complete emotional availability. I like Reiki, especially the classes, but give Stoking Creativity & Healing Modalities a once over and see what jumps out at you. Last but certainly not least, ask & it is given. Ask for an unfolding which triggers much cathartic release, and indeed you shall receive it. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions
Kevin Posted July 4 Author Posted July 4 4 hours ago, Mandy said: Like everything that's wanted, it's attracted, it will show up in all its unedited perfection as long as you don't continuously notice that it hasn't yet. Haha I do notice the absence a lot lately. I was busy today though and I’m going to bed early tonight so hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow. Quote Mention
Kevin Posted July 4 Author Posted July 4 4 hours ago, Phil said: Music is very inspiring. When one gets directly involved in creating music there can be a process of much inspiration followed by much disillusionment, as a mix of previously un-inspected sep self comparative thoughts, limiting beliefs being dispelled, and emotion felt more deeply. It can be a kind of a ‘foggy’ uncertain looking-for-ground phase. Be mindful it’s progressive and there is no true regression. If ever at a loss for that view, go sit in nature alone for 15 minutes. Always does the trick. Bring the unconditional aliveness of music back into your life, and therein the nostalgia as well, from before ‘becoming a musician’. This is a rare occasion where I suggest pushing through - blast yourself with music. The more bass the better, and I wouldn't mess around with contemporary garbage, I’d go straight to the soul with Motown. It pulls the right strings and hits the right notes for cathartic release, relating in terms of suffering, liberation & inspiration, while the bottom line is always made perfectly clear. When I feel sad or depressed music doesn’t sound very good and I never want to create music. I should just push through though. Earlier this evening I went to the store and while driving I played some Marvin’s Gaye and that sounded great. 4 hours ago, Phil said: Be aware of comparative thoughts and consider journaling more as temporary break from involvement with music to expedite releases and allow the inspiration to not only rekindle but magnify. Set it free as it were; it pulls a pheonix on you every time re-arising anew. Notice as deeply as possible all the music is for you by you, in spite of any temporary comparative selves based thoughts. I’ll try journaling. I haven’t done it in a while. 4 hours ago, Phil said: Go sub-thoughts, sub-therapeutic, with new experiences where someone else is involved and your emotional barriers are ‘challenged’ by the presence of someone who’s beyond (prior to) complete emotional availability. What do you mean by “someone who’s beyond complete emotional availability. 4 hours ago, Phil said: I like Reiki, especially the classes, but give Stoking Creativity & Healing Modalities a once over and see what jumps out at you. Last but certainly not least, ask & it is given. Ask for an unfolding which triggers much cathartic release, and indeed you shall receive it. I will ask. Maybe I’ll try praying, a lot of people swear by it. Quote Mention
WhiteOwl Posted July 4 Posted July 4 9 hours ago, Phil said: It pulls the right strings and hits the right notes for cathartic release, relating in terms of suffering, liberation & inspiration, while the bottom line is always made perfectly clear. Everything always sounds so magical when you describe something. Just a shame no-one else here really feels that. Its like its maybe promising a bit too much. At least i realized that talk like this made me create some ideal for how to feel, making me feel less than good when thats not the experience. Seems like "imagining figures of light". I really imagine "life" would be way easier never having went into all this 😕 Quote Mention
Orb Posted July 4 Posted July 4 @Kevin Quote Mention "Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red." - 9th Ox Herding Picture
Mandy Posted July 4 Posted July 4 1 hour ago, WhiteOwl said: I really imagine "life" would be way easier never having went into all this 😕 Reminds me of how I felt when I was in labor with my first kid. 😂 He's pretty awesome. Would life have been easier? Yes. Is that what I would have wanted. No. Quote Mention Youtube Channel
Phil Posted July 4 Posted July 4 11 hours ago, Kevin said: When I feel sad or depressed music doesn’t sound very good and I never want to create music. I should just push through though. That would be on behalf of the separate self of thoughts. “The one” in time, which isn’t actually present. Sad & depressing describe how certain thoughts feel, namely thoughts about you being a separate self, and comparative thoughts about the separate self in comparison to other separate selves. Sadness and depressing is not actually how you, the awareness of thoughts feel. Mindfulness is key. Presence & non-aversion from feeling. Acknowledging the emotions which are actually, and only presently, experienced. Noticing aversion ‘into’ concepts about yourself - which aren’t actually about you. Aligning thought with feeling, vs expecting feeling to change / align with beliefs. 11 hours ago, Kevin said: Earlier this evening I went to the store and while driving I played some Marvin’s Gaye and that sounded great. As attention is withdrawn from discordant thoughts about a sep self & returned to feeling / the present, ‘where’ you actually are, the true nature is unobscured / more pronounced. 5 hours ago, WhiteOwl said: Everything always sounds so magical when you describe something. Just a shame no-one else here really feels that. Its like its maybe promising a bit too much. At least i realized that talk like this made me create some ideal for how to feel, making me feel less than good when thats not the experience. Seems like "imagining figures of light". I really imagine "life" would be way easier never having went into all this 😕 There is no one else here. Everything and everyone is in actuality consciousness appearing, pure magic. This isn’t a promise from a separate self to a separate self, it’s reality. Comparative thoughts about separate selves simply don’t resonate with truth. You, consciousness, say “it’s a shame”… you feel “it’s a shame”. You say “someone’s promising”, you feel the discord of the belief you’re separate. You say “talk like this made me x, y or z”… you feel the discord of the belief in assertion as separate and asserted upon. You say “I feel less than good”, you feel the discord of the self referential thought with the goodness you actually are. You say ‘there’ whatever it is you went into which isn’t you, you feel the discord of the thought you’re separate & finite. Blame is an emotion, how some thoughts feel. Being aware truly is ample. Meditation. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions
WhiteOwl Posted July 4 Posted July 4 24 minutes ago, Mandy said: Reminds me of how I felt when I was in labor with my first kid. 😂 He's pretty awesome. Would life have been easier? Yes. Is that what I would have wanted. No. Looking at all the "teachers" they frequently talk to people having tried for 20 years being in the same place. I feel worry that will be it. Wonder if it would be better to quit it all together and just try to forget everything learned really. Quote Mention
Mandy Posted July 4 Posted July 4 @WhiteOwl Looking for a better experience, is looking for a better experience, the story around where or what you're looking for can change. If it feels better to focus on something else, do that. If anyone says "I've been seeking for 20 years", that's one hell of a story, told now. I can tell you stories about dinosaurs and cave men and secrets lost for thousand of years that seem to take place over great spans of time, but I'm just making that shit up right now. There's no time in it really. Don't confuse the story for the creating of it. Quote Mention Youtube Channel
Kevin Posted July 4 Author Posted July 4 8 hours ago, Phil said: That would be on behalf of the separate self of thoughts. “The one” in time, which isn’t actually present. Sad & depressing describe how certain thoughts feel, namely thoughts about you being a separate self, and comparative thoughts about the separate self in comparison to other separate selves. Sadness and depressing is not actually how you, the awareness of thoughts feel. Mindfulness is key. Presence & non-aversion from feeling. Acknowledging the emotions which are actually, and only presently, experienced. Noticing aversion ‘into’ concepts about yourself - which aren’t actually about you. Aligning thought with feeling, vs expecting feeling to change / align with beliefs. As attention is withdrawn from discordant thoughts about a sep self & returned to feeling / the present, ‘where’ you actually are, the true nature is unobscured / more pronounced. There is no one else here. Everything and everyone is in actuality consciousness appearing, pure magic. This isn’t a promise from a separate self to a separate self, it’s reality. Comparative thoughts about separate selves simply don’t resonate with truth. You, consciousness, say “it’s a shame”… you feel “it’s a shame”. You say “someone’s promising”, you feel the discord of the belief you’re separate. You say “talk like this made me x, y or z”… you feel the discord of the belief in assertion as separate and asserted upon. You say “I feel less than good”, you feel the discord of the self referential thought with the goodness you actually are. You say ‘there’ whatever it is you went into which isn’t you, you feel the discord of the thought you’re separate & finite. Blame is an emotion, how some thoughts feel. Being aware truly is ample. Meditation. Damn I guess I just have to sit with how I feel. I was talking to someone at Jiu Jitsu and it seemed like they wanted to hang out for the fourth. I have no plans so I should have invited them to do something but I’ve been feeling a lot of intense emotions like fear guilt and insecurity and I don’t want to burden anyone else so I isolate which makes things worse. I feel discouraged because I was doing so well like a month ago. Now I experience a lot of intense emotions. I guess the main thing is there is resistance because I wish I just felt different. I wish I felt great and outgoing. Quote Mention
Phil Posted July 4 Posted July 4 @Kevin The more you sit with emotions the clearer it is that what you experience, are aware of - is not, and could not be, how you feel. Like if you put your hand on a hot stove and felt the burn, you’re feeling the burn, the burn is not how you feel. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions
Kevin Posted July 5 Author Posted July 5 7 hours ago, Phil said: @Kevin The more you sit with emotions the clearer it is that what you experience, are aware of - is not, and could not be, how you feel. Like if you put your hand on a hot stove and felt the burn, you’re feeling the burn, the burn is not how you feel. Thanks I’ve been meditating and focusing on feeling and I am feeling better. Allowing feeling seems to be the only the that is helping me to let go of the suffering. It’s also the last thing I want to do. But it seems like the way. Quote Mention
ThePoint Posted July 5 Posted July 5 13 hours ago, Kevin said: I’ve been feeling a lot of intense emotions like fear guilt and insecurity You feel them for some reason You can either 'express' them for a lifetime (what's being suggested on the forum) or take care of it and never have them triggered again in such events, the choice is yours Quote Mention
Phil Posted July 5 Posted July 5 5 hours ago, Kevin said: Thanks I’ve been meditating and focusing on feeling and I am feeling better. Allowing feeling seems to be the only the that is helping me to let go of the suffering. It’s also the last thing I want to do. But it seems like the way. Awesome. Suffering is of thoughts / interpretations. Emotions are guidance for em. Allowing feeling is allowing interpretations to change in alignment with ‘the feeing of being me’. 51 minutes ago, ThePoint said: You feel them for some reason You can either 'express' them for a lifetime (what's being suggested on the forum) or take care of it and never have them triggered again in such events, the choice is yours There’s guidance for that interpretation too! ♥️ Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions
Kevin Posted July 5 Author Posted July 5 7 hours ago, ThePoint said: You feel them for some reason You can either 'express' them for a lifetime (what's being suggested on the forum) or take care of it and never have them triggered again in such events, the choice is yours I believe expressing it and processing it is taking care of it. Quote Mention
Kevin Posted July 5 Author Posted July 5 6 hours ago, Phil said: Awesome. Suffering is of thoughts / interpretations. Emotions are guidance for em. Allowing feeling is allowing interpretations to change in alignment with ‘the feeing of being me’. There’s guidance for that interpretation too! ♥️ Gotcha I think Quote Mention
Phil Posted July 5 Posted July 5 @Kevin It was just that one part… 13 hours ago, Kevin said: and I am feeling better It leans toward a sep self referential thought loop, with the other ‘end’ of the loop being… ‘and now I feel worse’. And just like that, there seems to be a sep self, in time, and how “it feels”. While in truth feeling is infinite, appearing as the whole show. Thoughts, cars, planes, air, etc - all feeling. All (actually) Self (feeling). Feeling is just unfettered or un-obscured of discordant thoughts (suffering)… and that’s it. It’s more than ample, and it’s only presently. There’s no sep self which feels better. Nor which felt this or that way in a past or might feel this or that way in a future. So there is no actual comparison between “how I feel now”, and “how I felt then” or “how I will or might feel when”. The wild ‘thing’ is the situation literally could not be more simple. ♥️ Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions
WhiteOwl Posted July 5 Posted July 5 10 hours ago, ThePoint said: or take care of it and never have them triggered again in such events, How would you "take care of it"? Quote Mention
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