Question to Phil about Desire vs. Acceptance

[Someone here]

@Phil hi .

I asked you this question before but I either don't remember your answer or it didn't make much sense to me back then so I will ask it again and hopefully you can set my head straight. 

Should I desire things or accept things ? Should I aim for acquiring material possessions like money and indulge in sensual pleasures and satisfy my senses?  OR should I accept mediocrity and love it unconditionally and deeply to realize its not even  "mediocre " but priceless gift from God? 

I don't know which one is best.

So for example I eat shitty food (processed food ..inorganic..microwaved..corn oil..hamburger..ice cream etc ) . Should I let that continue? Or aim for cleaning up my diet in hope of feeling better inside my skin ?

Please clarify. Thanks 🙏 

Edited December 6, 2023 by Someone here

[Mandy]

I'd reply, but alas I am not Phil. 🙂

[Someone here]

@Mandy sure ! You can answer.  Anyone can answer. Please go ahead 🙏 

[Phil]

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

Should I desire things or accept things ?

If there is an opportunity to accept now as is, then there is already some judgement experienced of now as is.

Rather than attempting to accept, recognize that now actually is - as it is - regardless of any judgement added.

 

Acknowledge what’s felt is the judgement.

This isn’t acceptance of what is, this is acknowledgment that what is - is what is - and some judgement of is felt. 

 

Experiencing judgement = experiencing lower than contentment. The experience is of believed separation; the aim is seeing clearly, feeling the wholeness as what is. 

 

There is a thought, belief or interpretation which is discordant.

Listen to the guidance and question that thought, belief or interpretation to dispel it.

This is ‘zooming out’ (of the specific judgement). 

Include the body as you do. Breathe deeply, consciously & mindfully lovingly. 

 

Be humbly mindful what’s really wanted is feeling better, whole, as awareness, as creator-creating-creation; being what is as is, which is without the discord / suffering.

Put well-being first & foremost. Put feeling first. 

This isn’t really a putting or an accepting, it’s acknowledging what is (already the case). 

 

Express, releasing and dispelling the discordant thought, belief or interpretation. Acknowledge conditioning. 

 

From contentment upward, ‘zoom in’. Focus on what’s on the dreamboard. Add & change freely. 

 

What is, experientially, is apparent change, changing. Seemingly twoness. 

There’s no remote control for this movie. It’s on ‘play’. There’s no rewind, no pause, no stop, no fast forward. 

 

Of experience, ‘play’, preferences arise. How these preferences feel, is what’s referred to as desire. 

Be mindful feeling is an unthinkable ineffable singularity, while desires are an apparent plurality. 

Appreciate the perfection & effortlessness of this. 

It deeply resonates as the creator. 

It’s brilliant. 

 

What is what is becoming, going to be, where is what is headed?

Well, what is focus upon?

 

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

Should I aim for acquiring material possessions like money and indulge in sensual pleasures and satisfy my senses? 

Start with Maslow’s Pyramid. Add to the dreamboard freely & sincerely.

Begin to notice, question, dispel and bring to rest - self referential thoughts. 

Meditate every morning, allowing actual satisfaction & clarity to arise; let expectations feeling will come from things, others and or a future go; presence, fullness, clarity, awareness, no thing remains. 

This is plugging in before vacuuming. 

Putting gas in the tank before pushing the pedal. 

Filling the pool with water prior to jumping in. 

 

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

OR should I accept mediocrity and love it unconditionally and deeply to realize its not even  "mediocre " but priceless gift from God? 

Note comparative thoughts about this compared to that.

Note in direct experience there isn’t that, that isn’t there. 

Only this. 

 

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

I don't know which one is best.

Question the validity of knowing, of knowing good & bad, right & wrong, of there being a knower. 

Mentally untangle. ‘Walk yourself back to yourself’; awareness. 

 

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

So for example I eat shitty food (processed food ..inorganic..microwaved..corn oil..hamburger..ice cream etc ) . Should I let that continue? Or aim for cleaning up my diet in hope of feeling better inside my skin ?

Simply write what’s wanted, preferences, on the dreamboard. 

So say you and it shall be. 

‘Get out of your own way’ as described previously via using the emotional scale. 

 

There is no question What Is can be a match to arising preferences. 

Just look around, allow This to be obvious. 

All that’s in question is, so to speak, are you truly dreaming.

Dreamboard is a simple, easy, effortless way to go. 

 

https://community.actualityofbeing.com/topic/460-suggested-methods-aka-self-love-allowing/#comment-11301

 

[Someone here]

6 minutes ago, Phil said:

If there is an opportunity to accept now as is, then there is already some judgement experienced of now as is.

Rather than attempting to accept, recognize that now actually is - as it is - regardless of any judgement added.

 

Acknowledge what’s felt is the judgement.

This isn’t acceptance of what is, this is acknowledgment that what is - is what is - and some judgement of is felt. 

 

Experiencing judgement = experiencing lower than contentment. The experience is of believed separation; the aim is seeing clearly, feeling the wholeness as what is. 

 

There is a thought, belief or interpretation which is discordant.

Listen to the guidance and question that thought, belief or interpretation to dispel it.

This is ‘zooming out’ (of the specific judgement). 

Include the body as you do. Breathe deeply, consciously & mindfully lovingly. 

 

Be humbly mindful what’s really wanted is feeling better, whole, as awareness, as creator-creating-creation; being what is as is, which is without the discord / suffering.

Put well-being first & foremost. Put feeling first. 

This isn’t really a putting or an accepting, it’s acknowledging what is (already the case). 

 

Express, releasing and dispelling the discordant thought, belief or interpretation. Acknowledge conditioning. 

 

From contentment upward, ‘zoom in’. Focus on what’s on the dreamboard. Add & change freely. 

 

What is, experientially, is apparent change, changing. Seemingly twoness. 

There’s no remote control for this movie. It’s on ‘play’. There’s no rewind, no pause, no stop, no fast forward. 

 

Of experience, ‘play’, preferences arise. How these preferences feel, is what’s referred to as desire. 

Be mindful feeling is an unthinkable ineffable singularity, while desires are an apparent plurality. 

Appreciate the perfection & effortlessness of this. 

It deeply resonates as the creator. 

It’s brilliant. 

 

What is what is becoming, going to be, where is what is headed?

Well, what is focus upon?

 

Start with Maslow’s Pyramid. Add to the dreamboard freely & sincerely.

Begin to notice, question, dispel and bring to rest - self referential thoughts. 

Meditate every morning, allowing actual satisfaction & clarity to arise; let expectations feeling will come from things, others and or a future go; presence, fullness, clarity, awareness, no thing remains. 

This is plugging in before vacuuming. 

Putting gas in the tank before pushing the pedal. 

Filling the pool with water prior to jumping in. 

 

Note comparative thoughts about this compared to that.

Note in direct experience there isn’t that, that isn’t there. 

Only this. 

 

Question the validity of knowing, of knowing good & bad, right & wrong, of there being a knower. 

Mentally untangle. ‘Walk yourself back to yourself’; awareness. 

 

Simply write what’s wanted, preferences, on the dreamboard. 

So say you and it shall be. 

‘Get out of your own way’ as described previously via using the emotional scale. 

 

There is no question What Is can be a match to arising preferences. 

Just look around, allow This to be obvious. 

All that’s in question is, so to speak, are you truly dreaming.

Dreamboard is a simple, easy, effortless way to go. 

 Fucking bombs of gems my man..Thanks Phil  😆 lol

So First things first..I think I should start with Shadow work. Do you know what that is? I still got layers of trauma from childhood that I still need to heal ..

31 minutes ago, Phil said:

If there is an opportunity to accept now as is, then there is already some judgement experienced of now as is.

Rather than attempting to accept, recognize that now actually is - as it is - regardless of any judgement added.

okay so you suggest I should accept the past ?  Because I can't accept the present because it's already perfectly self-acceptance .but what about when I got bullied in school?  I feel like I need this part of my life  integrated such that i feel okay about all the crap that happened in my life .

While we are at it ..please let me open up about few things and lemme know if you could help me out (not really helping but just guidelines).

I'm addicted to smoking ..porno..and video games..I want to destroy all of the hard addictions one by one.  So right away all these that I mentioned should belong to the garbage can.  stimulating food as well.. then stuff like pornography.Then stuff like addictions to memes and watching YouTube videos. Which I don't see as problems but still I could live better .

I made a dreamboard . I actually attracted a girlfriend and I was feeling on top of the world but we broke up recently because she said all the phone sex we did together was "sinful "lol.  And I was like 👍 cool ...let's move to the next girl .

Another question please..(I consider you and wish that you were my dad to give me the best life coaching ever) ya know..how ..like. how tf to deal with sexual urges while single ? I think of paying an escort but I know deep down it's immoral . So what should I do? (Porno is not an option ..I  have made up my mind that I want to quit).

 

And I still don't seem to be able to keep ciggies away .

[Phil]

40 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Fucking bombs of gems my man..Thanks Phil  😆 lol

So First things first..I think I should start with Shadow work. Do you know what that is? I still got layers of trauma from childhood that I still need to heal ..

It’s discordant thoughts, beliefs & interpretations which can be aligned with feeling (in the present). 

 

40 minutes ago, Someone here said:

okay so you suggest I should accept the past ? 

‘Stay’ present. Allow thought to align with feeling. Transmute.

Apologize & forgive readily. Be forward oriented (already the case; ‘play’), allowing preferences to manifest. 

Conscious creating & shadow work are not an actual duality. 

One & the same. 

 

40 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Because I can't accept the present because it's already perfectly self-acceptance .but what about when I got bullied in school?  I feel like I need this part of my life  integrated such that i feel okay about all the crap that happened in my life .

The present can’t be accepted because there isn’t a self separate of the present. There’s no “acceptor”. 

Question, inspect, dispel and allow to come to rest… self referential thoughts. 

 

I got bullied is one interpretation. The implied separation & implication of there being a separate self may feel discordant.

Bulling happened to me… Bullying happened… Bullying happens… Bullying isn’t happening… Nothing’s happening. 

Insecurity, powerlessness, fear & doubt as emotions are guidance and can be acknowledged. 

Concepts like inferiority can be acknowledged as, concepts. The emotion(s) felt, as to how the concepts feel, can be acknowledged. 

Allow thought to align with feeling, compared to attempting to align feeling with thought. 

 

40 minutes ago, Someone here said:

While we are at it ..please let me open up about few things and lemme know if you could help me out (not really helping but just guidelines).

I'm addicted to smoking ..porno..and video games..I want to destroy all of the hard addictions one by one.  So right away all these that I mentioned should belong to the garbage can.  stimulating food as well.. then stuff like pornography.Then stuff like addictions to memes and watching YouTube videos. Which I don't see as problems but still I could live better .

I made a dreamboard . I actually attracted a girlfriend and I was feeling on top of the world but we broke up recently because she said all the phone sex we did together was "sinful "lol.  And I was like 👍 cool ...let's move to the next girl .

Another question please..(I consider you and wish that you were my dad to give me the best life coaching ever) ya know..how ..like. how tf to deal with sexual urges while single ? I think of paying an escort but I know deep down it's immoral . So what should I do? (Porno is not an option ..I  have made up my mind that I want to quit).

 

And I still don't seem to be able to keep ciggies away .

Picture a scale ⚖️ with the suggested methods on one side and that on the other.

As one side receives focus it goes up and simultaneously the other goes down. 

With effortless focus, ‘feed the wolf’ you want to go rise up. 

 

You are the lion, raised by sheep. 

[Someone here]

23 minutes ago, Phil said:

It’s discordant thoughts, beliefs & interpretations which can be aligned with feeling (in the present). 

 

‘Stay’ present. Allow thought to align with feeling. Transmute.

Apologize & forgive readily. Be forward oriented (already the case; ‘play’), allowing preferences to manifest. 

Conscious creating & shadow work are not an actual duality. 

One & the same. 

 

The present can’t be accepted because there isn’t a self separate of the present. There’s no “acceptor”. 

Question, inspect, dispel and allow to come to rest… self referential thoughts. 

 

I got bullied is one interpretation. The implied separation & implication of there being a separate self may feel discordant.

Bulling happened to me… Bullying happened… Bullying happens… Bullying isn’t happening… Nothing’s happening. 

Insecurity, powerlessness, fear & doubt as emotions are guidance and can be acknowledged. 

Concepts like inferiority can be acknowledged as, concepts. The emotion(s) felt, as to how the concepts feel, can be acknowledged. 

Allow thought to align with feeling, compared to attempting to align feeling with thought. 

 

Picture a scale ⚖️ with the suggested methods on one side and that on the other.

As one side receives focus it goes up and simultaneously the other goes down. 

With effortless focus, ‘feed the wolf’ you want to go rise up. 

 

You are the lion, raised by sheep. 

Thank you man . Very helpful and cut to the chase advice 👌. 

[Mandy]

@Someone here Is there a physical world and a nonphysical/spiritual world? 

[Someone here]

1 hour ago, Mandy said:

@Someone here Is there a physical world and a nonphysical/spiritual world? 

I'd say it's only one world obviously.  

And also obviously it's neither physical nor spiritual...it can't be put into words or categories. 

[Mandy]

Just now, Someone here said:

I'd say it's only one world obviously.  

And also obviously it's neither physical nor spiritual...it can't be put into words or categories. 

Your questions preassume that it's two. 

[Someone here]

8 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Your questions preassume that it's two. 

OK how so ? And even so ..what's the problem? 

Why do you have to "build up" so much by asking questions 😆?  Just get straight to the main dish haha.(said light-heartedly..no offence).

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

OK how so ? And even so ..what's the problem? 

Why do you have to "build up" so much by asking questions 😆?  Just get straight to the main dish haha.(said light-heartedly..no offence).

How so, because your questions assume a dilemna that you say you don't believe in. It's not that it's the right academic answer as far as this forum in concerned to say that they're not two. Like, really not fucking around, that's the case right now whether you think about it, believe it or not. There's no problem, you can wear your shoes on your hands and walk on them and it's no problem, it's just not the most efficient enjoyable way of going about moving around.

[Someone here]

@Mandy why you mad ?

[Mandy]

@Someone hereWhat about what I wrote makes you think I'm mad? 

[Someone here]

2 hours ago, Mandy said:

@Someone hereWhat about what I wrote makes you think I'm mad? 

The tone .

Plus..I don't like it when a girl uses profane expressions like fuck and shit and pussy (and you say these a lot which I'd something I've noticed ). 

It ruins the girl's purtey and femininity. 

I know that might sound weird to an American person ..you guys don't give a dam shit about that ...but that's how it is in My culture. 

[Blessed2]

It only seems like it's Eve's fault after Adam eats from the tree.

 

@Someone here Do you want to mindlessly follow what everyone else does in your culture, or be the change for better?

 

[Someone here]

14 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

It only seems like it's Eve's fault after Adam eats from the tree.

 

@Someone here Do you want to mindlessly follow what everyone else does in your culture, or be the change for better?

 

Well..it certainly is not polite to use dirty words or something obnoxious in all cultures..so my culture is not the one which reinvented the wheel. Its just that it's less of a taboo in America because it's a more Liberal society.  

And even when I go out during weekends trying to approach girls ..if I hear them talking shit and using bad words it immediately turn me off . 

I don't like girls who talk like boys .that's all.

[Mandy]

@Someone here I'm not a purtey girl. 

 

You're too distracted with concepts, judgements and preconceptions about the writer, to read what's written. 

[Phil]

On 12/6/2023 at 8:13 AM, Phil said:

Acknowledge what’s felt is the judgement.

 

[Mandy]

55 minutes ago, Someone here said:

The tone .

Plus..I don't like it when a girl uses profane expressions like fuck and shit and pussy (and you say these a lot which I'd something I've noticed ). 

It ruins the girl's purtey and femininity. 

I know that might sound weird to an American person ..you guys don't give a dam shit about that ...but that's how it is in My culture. 

@DevinCurious if you have thoughts on this?