How to reconcile a specific thought.

[Blessed2]

On 11/28/2023 at 11:09 AM, Kevin said:

Yeah thoughts around I’ve projected so much in the past and then thoughts come up like I’ll probably keep projecting in the future so I feel pessimism 

 

The only "thing" that is ever projected, is separate selvery.

 

It seems like you're going to keep projecting in the future because that's what you are projecting. 😁😁

 

Projection is a bit like a radio. You hear the vibration which you are tuned to hear.

 

When you're tuned to being a separate self in time, you see a bunch of other separate selves in time. But there is no many separate selves. There's just the radio station / vibration 'spot' of separate selvery.

 

And you're not in that vibration station. Neither is Phil, nor me, nor anyone else. You, me, Phil, and every one of us is the music which the radio station of separate selvery plays. So there's no-one to wake up.

 

Dunno if this is any helpful, just felt inspired to share.

 

[Kevin]

7 hours ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

Not happiness - contentment. 

 

I acknowledge the thought(s) arising, the desire for more friends, a girlfriend and happiness. 

 

But first, contentment. 

Is this moment enough as it is? 

Is this moment, as it is, lacking, in shortage, not enough, un-whole in some way… without what thought implies is needed or wanted to be added?

 

 

 yeah this moment is enough as it is.

[Kevin]

6 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

The only "thing" that is ever projected, is separate selvery.

 

It seems like you're going to keep projecting in the future because that's what you are projecting. 😁😁

 

Projection is a bit like a radio. You hear the vibration which you are tuned to hear.

 

When you're tuned to being a separate self in time, you see a bunch of other separate selves in time. But there is no many separate selves. There's just the radio station / vibration 'spot' of separate selvery.

 

And you're not in that vibration station. Neither is Phil, nor me, nor anyone else. You, me, Phil, and every one of us is the music which the radio station of separate selvery plays. So there's no-one to wake up.

 

Dunno if this is any helpful, just felt inspired to share.

 

Definitely helpful thank you. When you feel inspired to share it’s generally worth hearing I would say.

[Phil]

17 minutes ago, Kevin said:

 yeah this moment is enough as it is.

Are ya feelin the contentment though?

[Kevin]

3 minutes ago, Phil said:

Are ya feelin the contentment though?

No my body feels tense. I know I need to start from here and now and starting from here and now is always good. It’s always a good place to start from in terms of contentment being very simple and how it’s always here. I still feel tension though.

 

I think that’s related to my sleep quality though. I’m gonna get a new mattress today and hopefully that will help.

 

actually after giving it some thought I think I feel tension because after I talked with my mom when I was home for Thanksgiving, she sent me a long ass email about her opinions of the conflict in the Middle East. I just got the email this morning and I feel obligated to respond. I experience frustration because our views are so different that I think we live on different planet's. So I guess I feel tension because I don’t want to respond but I feel obligated.

[Phil]

@Kevin

 

Does she need to change her views, for you to feel contentment? 

 

Sometimes the universe synchronistically spells it out for us… clarity around thought & emotion. 

 

Maybe you could just respond with, ‘our views are very different’. 

 

If it’s helpful, I often tell ms phil I honestly don’t really care what she thinks, because the love isn’t contingent. I wouldn’t want her to agree or be similar actually. If I carry that thinking out, there’d be a world of Phil’s. No thanks. Diversity as is is perfect. 😅 

[Kevin]

15 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

 

Does she need to change her views, for you to feel contentment? 

 

Man you hit the nail on the head. I don’t know why though. I’ve heard other people say crazy stuff before and it doesn’t bother me. Like have a good friend who doesn’t like gay people and has some other crazy beliefs. It doesn’t bother me that he has different views. It never comes up. Idk why this situation with my mom is so triggering.

15 minutes ago, Phil said:

Sometimes the universe synchronistically spells it out for us… clarity around thought & emotion. 

 

Yeah I think this whole topic is very relevant for me. There’s a big lesson here that’s why it’s so prominent currently. 

15 minutes ago, Phil said:

Maybe you could just respond with, ‘our views are very different’. 

 

I was thinking of doing that.

15 minutes ago, Phil said:

If it’s helpful, I often tell ms phil I honestly don’t really care what she thinks, because the love isn’t contingent. I wouldn’t want her to agree or be similar actually. If I carry that thinking out, there’d be a world of Phil’s. No thanks. Diversity as is is perfect. 😅 

I totally agree. I don’t want a world of Kevin’s. Maybe I’m still not used to the idea that my mom is just a person and she has no control over my life anymore. I’m confused though. I genuinely don’t know why I’m so triggered by all this

[Phil]

@Kevin

Maybe start with that she has no control over how you feel. We’re all in the same boat in this way. I’m feelin my thoughts, you’re feeling yours, she’s feeling hers. Control wise, maybe it’s this inner freedom you’re lookin for…?

 

It’s the same with the ‘world full of Phil’s’ example. A world where everyone experiences the same views (as Phil) just wouldn’t compare to the awesomeness of the diversity that is. 

 

Thread topic wise, does what anyone thinks need to change, for you to feel contentment?

 

With the tension, btw, it’s correlates to discord (between thought & feeling)… so mindfully uncontracting / relaxing the body deeply, and deeper still… eases the mind. 

[Kevin]

27 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

Maybe start with that she has no control over how you feel. We’re all in the same boat in this way. I’m feelin my thoughts, you’re feeling yours, she’s feeling hers. Control wise, maybe it’s this inner freedom you’re lookin for…?

 

yes that makes sense

 

27 minutes ago, Phil said:

It’s the same with the ‘world full of Phil’s’ example. A world where everyone experiences the same views (as Phil) just wouldn’t compare to the awesomeness of the diversity that is. 

 

Thread topic wise, does what anyone thinks need to change, for you to feel contentment?

 

No

27 minutes ago, Phil said:

With the tension, btw, it’s correlates to discord (between thought & feeling)… so mindfully uncontracting / relaxing the body deeply, and deeper still… eases the mind. 

I’m curious as to why I go to a conclusion of others and circumstances needing to change. Or certain conditions have to be met to be happy. The stress is of me focusing on conditions needing to be met or me focusing on what I lack in my life. Why is it so hard for me to hear the message. That is a painful topic. Let it go. That’s the message. But I have always looked for a solution or a doing to a problem in making up. It’s ridiculous.

 

I like coming to this forum because the advice is actually helpful. But my interpretation of my emotions seems so out of wack.

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

I’m curious as to why I go to a conclusion of others and circumstances needing to change. Or certain conditions have to be met to be happy. The stress is of me focusing on conditions needing to be met or me focusing on what I lack in my life. Why is it so hard for me to hear the message. That is a painful topic. Let it go. That’s the message. But I have always looked for a solution or a doing to a problem in making up. It’s ridiculous.

It’s because Happiness is unsuspectingly already the case, and is appearing as desires. 

 

Happiness and then desires - no discord. 👍🏼 

Desires must be met first, and then there can be Happiness - discordant. 👎🏼

 

Notice even, how weird the pluralization of Happiness sounds… “Happinesses”.

Likewise…  “Consciousnesses”, “Awarenesses”, “Infinites”, “Loves”. 

Whereas “desires” sounds pretty normal. 

 

Happiness appears as experience, and thus forgets or overlooks its own nature. 

There’s no body, no room, no air, no screen, no self, no other, no Phil, no yesterday, no tomorrow.

Reality is Happiness. 

The Cosmic Joke. 

 

 

Blame, guilt, shame, animosity, resentment and the like come into play as Happiness appears as “these”, confusing Happiness in regard to the reality of Happiness, because Happiness = Innocence. Absolutely, the same. 

 

 

Like it or not, you’re absolutely innocent, and so is everyone else. The ultimate sorry not sorry. 

No one feels my stubbornness but me. 

Same for you? 

 

 

Happiness is unspeakably inherent, eternal, ever-lasting, unchangeable, unalterable, unconditional, non-contingent, immutable & absolute. 

Desires come & go. Peaks come & go. Relationships come & go. States come & go. 

The sun, and clouds. 

 

Though the thoughts or words may resonate, it’s not enough to hear and believe. 

Happiness can’t be told, heard, reached, obtained, acquired, increased nor decreased. 

Only unfettered. 

“Life” is suffering. 

 

This is why meditation, expression, and all avenues of alignment feel so great.

It’s letting the clouds go. Unfettering. 

 

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

I like coming to this forum because the advice is actually helpful.

Hell ya it is. 

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

But my interpretation of my emotions seems so out of wack.

Hell ya they are. 

Allow em to be felt. Unfetter of interpretations. 

 

You probably haven’t heard, most haven’t, but there’s a simple tool for this called the emotional scale. 🙄

All that’s required is a change of phrasing. An acknowledgement of emotion(s) experienced.

The mind, body and entirety of experiential reality will follow. Sounds too good to be true, but it’s true. People call ‘it’ “The Truth” and talk about vibration. 

Happiness & emotion(s) are not mine, yours, about me or about you. 

[Phil]

@Kevin

Is the contentment felt yet?

 

If not, what about this moment needs to change?

[Kevin]

6 hours ago, Phil said:

It’s because Happiness is unsuspectingly already the case, and is appearing as desires. 

 

Happiness and then desires - no discord. 👍🏼 

Desires must be met first, and then there can be Happiness - discordant. 👎🏼

 

Notice even, how weird the pluralization of Happiness sounds… “Happinesses”.

Likewise…  “Consciousnesses”, “Awarenesses”, “Infinites”, “Loves”. 

Whereas “desires” sounds pretty normal. 

 

Happiness appears as experience, and thus forgets or overlooks its own nature. 

There’s no body, no room, no air, no screen, no self, no other, no Phil, no yesterday, no tomorrow.

Reality is Happiness. 

The Cosmic Joke. 

 

 

Blame, guilt, shame, animosity, resentment and the like come into play as Happiness appears as “these”, confusing Happiness in regard to the reality of Happiness, because Happiness = Innocence. Absolutely, the same. 

 

 

Like it or not, you’re absolutely innocent, and so is everyone else. The ultimate sorry not sorry. 

No one feels my stubbornness but me. 

Same for you? 

 

 

Happiness is unspeakably inherent, eternal, ever-lasting, unchangeable, unalterable, unconditional, non-contingent, immutable & absolute. 

Desires come & go. Peaks come & go. Relationships come & go. States come & go. 

The sun, and clouds. 

 

Though the thoughts or words may resonate, it’s not enough to hear and believe. 

Happiness can’t be told, heard, reached, obtained, acquired, increased nor decreased. 

Only unfettered. 

“Life” is suffering. 

 

This is why meditation, expression, and all avenues of alignment feel so great.

It’s letting the clouds go. Unfettering. 

 

Hell ya it is. 

Hell ya they are. 

Allow em to be felt. Unfetter of interpretations. 

 

You probably haven’t heard, most haven’t, but there’s a simple tool for this called the emotional scale. 🙄

All that’s required is a change of phrasing. An acknowledgement of emotion(s) experienced.

The mind, body and entirety of experiential reality will follow. Sounds too good to be true, but it’s true. People call ‘it’ “The Truth” and talk about vibration. 

Happiness & emotion(s) are not mine, yours, about me or about you. 

thanks man this makes a lot of sense.

I have been putting the cart before the horse but I believe I’m done with that.

 

The contentment is felt. Before I didn’t have a lot of energy and having a lot of time on my hands seemed like kind of a bad thing. Now I’m back to working out and making music and having all this time on my hands now seems like a blessing. I have so much time to make music and I have been reaching out to my friends and hanging out with them.

 

But yeah I’m laying in bed right now before I go to sleep and I’m definitely feeling contentment.

[Phil]

@Kevin

Awesome. Sounds like hopefulness, and maybe optimism too…?

[Kevin]

11 hours ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

Awesome. Sounds like hopefulness, and maybe optimism too…?

Yeah overall more hopefulness. I just started working out hard again and I didn’t sleep well last night so I’m not doing much today but I’m still feeling optimism.

[Phil]

@Kevin

What’s something you’re lookin forward to, excited about? 

[Kevin]

2 hours ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

What’s something you’re lookin forward to, excited about? 

Getting stronger from lifting and getting better at jiu jitsu.

Getting abs.

Making music Saturday and Sunday.

watching a new movie with friends tomorrow.

going shooting with friends tomorrow.

getting a new mattress.

getting a cpap machine.

meeting a woman.

 

a lot to look forward to honestly. It’s funny meeting a lady used to be so urgent. It feels less urgent. Still important but I put it at the bottom because everything else on the list feels more immediate. I know I’m gonna make music this weekend. Idk if I’m gonna meet a lady this weekend.

[Phil]

@Kevin

Sounds very forward moving so to speak… passion, eagerness? 

If so, feel more free / freeing / like freedom? 

[Phil]

On 11/24/2023 at 8:43 PM, Kevin said:

They shouldn’t have treated me that way. Or they should have treated me better.

 

When I think these thoughts I feel anger and rage and insecurity. Anger and rage obviously because I perceive some wrongdoing. Or that I have been treated unfairly. The insecurity because of another thought that says it’s my fault that I was treated this way.

 

Is it as simple as I was treated that way? What am I missing here? How do I move past this?

 

when I think it is what it is, I experience a lot of resistance to that idea. Like things should not be this way.

In using the scale thought is realigned with feeling. 

Underlying beliefs will still come up, by topic, until aligned. 

You have the power to do this. I’m happy to help. 

 

In using the scale, the topic was deviated from, which is just another way of saying the topic was let go, or going general, or zooming out.

The point of the deviating is putting feeling first. 

Putting feeling first is putting clarity first. 

 

Discordant beliefs are triggered by topically, or by topic. 

Examples: The body, money, relationships, health, etc. 

Could be anything, but always noted by discord between thought & feeling, contraction (bodily tensing). 

 

 

Interpretation is very relevant. Paramount. Most significant. 

 

One interpretation is; this discord & contraction is about or related to something or someone, and or some other time. 

 

The interpretation I suggest is;

The discord & contraction are experienced now.

While there of course might be arising context about others, or a past or future, and it can be clarifying to express and explore that context… fundamentally alignment is that of thought with feeling - now. 

 

 

In returning to the specific, triggering topic:

You’ve already established what thoughts or beliefs are triggering. ✔️ 

Here’s some more probing questioning oriented towards clarity, release & insight:

Are these beliefs based on facts or assumptions?

How do these beliefs make you feel, both physically and emotionally?

Which is felt; fault, or the emotion blame?

Can you find evidence to challenge or disprove these beliefs?

What would it feel like to let go of blame and trust in the wisdom & guidance of your true nature?

 

It can be challenging allowing thoughts, beliefs and emotions to pass through awareness. Breathe deeply & slowly, allowing the body to relax. Be mindful that this is what you want, the processing, or dispelling of the belief, the release of the conditioning. Bring bravery & courage to mind. Affirm that you are in control, and this is what you want. Trust in the inherent nature. 

[Kevin]

On 12/1/2023 at 9:12 AM, Phil said:

In using the scale thought is realigned with feeling. 

Underlying beliefs will still come up, by topic, until aligned. 

You have the power to do this. I’m happy to help. 

 

In using the scale, the topic was deviated from, which is just another way of saying the topic was let go, or going general, or zooming out.

The point of the deviating is putting feeling first. 

Putting feeling first is putting clarity first. 

 

Discordant beliefs are triggered by topically, or by topic. 

Examples: The body, money, relationships, health, etc. 

Could be anything, but always noted by discord between thought & feeling, contraction (bodily tensing). 

 

 

Interpretation is very relevant. Paramount. Most significant. 

 

One interpretation is; this discord & contraction is about or related to something or someone, and or some other time. 

 

The interpretation I suggest is;

The discord & contraction are experienced now.

While there of course might be arising context about others, or a past or future, and it can be clarifying to express and explore that context… fundamentally alignment is that of thought with feeling - now. 

 

 

In returning to the specific, triggering topic:

You’ve already established what thoughts or beliefs are triggering. ✔️ 

Here’s some more probing questioning oriented towards clarity, release & insight:

Are these beliefs based on facts or assumptions?

How do these beliefs make you feel, both physically and emotionally?

Which is felt; fault, or the emotion blame?

Can you find evidence to challenge or disprove these beliefs?

What would it feel like to let go of blame and trust in the wisdom & guidance of your true nature?

 

It can be challenging allowing thoughts, beliefs and emotions to pass through awareness. Breathe deeply & slowly, allowing the body to relax. Be mindful that this is what you want, the processing, or dispelling of the belief, the release of the conditioning. Bring bravery & courage to mind. Affirm that you are in control, and this is what you want. Trust in the inherent nature. 

Sorry I haven’t responded. Just been very depressed and I haven’t been doing much besides watching tv and laying around. I’ve been laying around watching tv because I don’t have a lot of energy.

 

I’m tired of getting depressed. Also I’m tired of getting ringworm because when I get ringworm I can’t go to jiu jitsu. When I go to jiu jitsu it helps me get out of a slump sometimes. I get ringworm so often though and it’s very frustrating.

[Blessed2]

45 minutes ago, Kevin said:

Sorry I haven’t responded. Just been very depressed and I haven’t been doing much besides watching tv and laying around. I’ve been laying around watching tv because I don’t have a lot of energy.

 

I’m tired of getting depressed. Also I’m tired of getting ringworm because when I get ringworm I can’t go to jiu jitsu. When I go to jiu jitsu it helps me get out of a slump sometimes. I get ringworm so often though and it’s very frustrating.

 

Try internal jiu jitsu. 😁

 

One hour of practice. Come at life from an entirely different perspective for one hour.

 

Rather than thinking the same depressive thoughts and perspectives over and over, try something different.

 

For example... Try not fighting the depression and rotting around watching TV. Decide do be a depressed, rotting, a miserable fuck-up watching TV all day. Take the role of the non-judgemental observer, and just see the depression happening. Observe it like a scientist.

 

You might also be interested to try this:

 

 

Here you can find the entire workbook-section of ACIM. There's over 300 lessons/practices. Usually it's done regurarly one by one, but in today's internal jiu-jitsu practice I'll give you a pass. See if any of those lessons seem interesting and give it a try.

 

Experiment with different meditation techniques. Maybe choose 4 or 5 from the meditations-list on AoB website and try each of them for five minutes.

 

Same for the tools-section.

 

Search "contagious laughter" on youtube and see if hearing others laugh makes you laugh.

 

Something like that. 😁