How to reconcile a specific thought.

[Kevin]

28 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Try internal jiu jitsu. 😁

 

One hour of practice. Come at life from an entirely different perspective for one hour.

 

Rather than thinking the same depressive thoughts and perspectives over and over, try something different.

 

For example... Try not fighting the depression and rotting around watching TV. Decide do be a depressed, rotting, a miserable fuck-up watching TV all day. Take the role of the non-judgemental observer, and just see the depression happening. Observe it like a scientist.

 

You might also be interested to try this:

 

 

Here you can find the entire workbook-section of ACIM. There's over 300 lessons/practices. Usually it's done regurarly one by one, but in today's internal jiu-jitsu practice I'll give you a pass. See if any of those lessons seem interesting and give it a try.

 

Experiment with different meditation techniques. Maybe choose 4 or 5 from the meditations-list on AoB website and try each of them for five minutes.

 

Same for the tools-section.

 

Search "contagious laughter" on youtube and see if hearing others laugh makes you laugh.

 

Something like that. 😁

Hey thanks for the resources and advice. I posted here while I was working out and when I got done working out I got in the hot tub which was nice. It’s really cold out so I don’t go outside a lot currently but the combo of working out and then getting in the Hot tub and having the sun on me seems to have kind of snapped me out of my funk. Working out and going outside seems to really work to get me out of a funk. I guess I get frustrated because the next morning I’m usually back in a funk.

 

i want to wake up in the morning and feel excitement.

 

in terms of observing thoughts, when I was lifting weights earlier I was noticing how all the emotions and thoughts swirling are very bite sized chunks of right now. And even though the thoughts pertain to a past that’s been tough and a future that’s been tough, I’m only experiencing now.

[Phil]

11 hours ago, Kevin said:

Sorry I haven’t responded. Just been very depressed and I haven’t been doing much besides watching tv and laying around. I’ve been laying around watching tv because I don’t have a lot of energy.

Another interpretation that can be considered is that this is de-conditioning, or beliefs coming up & out, and that this is actually wanted. That’s why it’s happening. 

Beliefs like there are two of you, one which knows about the other. 

That energy not only exists but is not excitement, and is a thing a separate self has more or less of. 

That there is time & the second self that thoughts seem to be about. 

Beliefs don’t resonate with the truth, because beliefs aren’t true. 

All beliefs are made of Truth, while no beliefs resonate with the true nature, the guidance for thoughts & alignment therein. 

 

When these beliefs arise the guidance is felt.

The guidance is suppressed or, ‘pressed down’, and this feels worse.

And this is conceptualized as ‘depression’. 

 

11 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

I’m tired of getting depressed. Also I’m tired of getting ringworm because when I get ringworm I can’t go to jiu jitsu. When I go to jiu jitsu it helps me get out of a slump sometimes. I get ringworm so often though and it’s very frustrating.

What’s tiring, exhausting really, is actually the beliefs. The story about a separate self, which you, awareness, are not.

 

Jiu Jitsu doesn’t help someone get out of anything, as you, awareness, are already not inside of anything. You, awareness, are only making it seem like you are, because that is the only way there can seem to be experience.

 

Jiu Jitsu serves as a change in focus, from thoughts & beliefs to perception & sensation. It’s the break from the discord of the beliefs which feels better, because it’s an allowing of the true nature, the awesomeness of you, awareness, feeling, to ‘shine through’. It’s the evidence that the feeling of alignment occurs naturally, in accordance with unfettering beliefs, and as focus isn’t lent to discordant thoughts / beliefs. 

 

Usually a point is reached where the stubbornness of being right just isn’t worthwhile anymore, and one instead communicates. But there is no assertion, so no one ever comes along and actually makes anyone question and liberation of beliefs, or communicate, apologize, forgive, etc. 

 

The ringworm is these beliefs about a second self, and others. The beliefs are ‘getting under your skin’ as it were. 

 

Given the truth of nonduality, or, that there is no “it” (not two)… “it’s very frustrating” is actually a refusal to acknowledge there isn’t the second self of beliefs, which an “it” is frustrating for. To the liberating contrary, would be the admittance that frustration is felt, and that frustration points to how some thoughts / beliefs feel. Not how a second (nonexistant) self feels, as a nonexistant self can not feel anymore than a unicorn, alien or Bigfoot. 

 

This ‘twisting’ of frustration reframed as frustrating is actually pessimism felt, but denied. The opposite, aligned route, is communication, rather than ‘holding’ these beliefs & judgements, being right and experiencing continued resentment, and ‘beating up on yourself’ therein. 

 

[Mandy]

11 hours ago, Kevin said:

Hey thanks for the resources and advice. I posted here while I was working out and when I got done working out I got in the hot tub which was nice. It’s really cold out so I don’t go outside a lot currently but the combo of working out and then getting in the Hot tub and having the sun on me seems to have kind of snapped me out of my funk. Working out and going outside seems to really work to get me out of a funk. I guess I get frustrated because the next morning I’m usually back in a funk.

Why not schedule that into your day, so you're doing it everyday consistently that there's no jiu jitsu? Or if mornings are an issue, pick morning for scheduling it? Rest days can replace with stretching, keep the fresh air? 

[Kevin]

13 hours ago, Mandy said:

Why not schedule that into your day, so you're doing it everyday consistently that there's no jiu jitsu? Or if mornings are an issue, pick morning for scheduling it? Rest days can replace with stretching, keep the fresh air? 

Yes now it seems simple. There’s a gym and a pool and hot tub in my apartment complex. If I went and ran on the treadmill for 10 minutes in the morning then got in the pool for a cold plunge. It’s very cold out right now. Then I hit the hot tub that would kickstart my day. Also I should definitely start going to yoga classes. Hell maybe I’d meet people there.

 

I wake up every morning feeling very low energy and tired and that usually carries into the rest of my day. I think it’s sleep apnea related. Dr officially diagnosed me with sleep apnea. I switched to a firmer mattress which is helping but I’m still waiting on a cpap. Also I’ve been were staying up late.

 

I think it’s time I started getting up earlier and starting my day off right.

[Kevin]

15 hours ago, Phil said:

Another interpretation that can be considered is that this is de-conditioning, or beliefs coming up & out, and that this is actually wanted. That’s why it’s happening. 

Beliefs like there are two of you, one which knows about the other. 

That energy not only exists but is not excitement, and is a thing a separate self has more or less of. 

That there is time & the second self that thoughts seem to be about. 

Beliefs don’t resonate with the truth, because beliefs aren’t true. 

All beliefs are made of Truth, while no beliefs resonate with the true nature, the guidance for thoughts & alignment therein. 

 

Yes I think beliefs are coming out. It’s hard to explain over text but things are definitely changed. Most drugs I used to enjoy for example are seeming more and more empty of joy. Food as well for example as well. Overeating junk food just doesn’t hit the way it used to. Also still no crack. I’m pretty sure I quit for good.

15 hours ago, Phil said:

When these beliefs arise the guidance is felt.

The guidance is suppressed or, ‘pressed down’, and this feels worse.

And this is conceptualized as ‘depression’. 

 

yep that’s what’s been happening to me.

15 hours ago, Phil said:

What’s tiring, exhausting really, is actually the beliefs. The story about a separate self, which you, awareness, are not.

 

I believe the separate self relies on memory. Some strange things have been happening with memory. I got paranoid about Alzheimer’s before because it’s becoming harder to remember things. It seems like if memory is less important then it’s harder to construct a self.

15 hours ago, Phil said:

Jiu Jitsu doesn’t help someone get out of anything, as you, awareness, are already not inside of anything. You, awareness, are only making it seem like you are, because that is the only way there can seem to be experience.

 

Jiu Jitsu serves as a change in focus, from thoughts & beliefs to perception & sensation. It’s the break from the discord of the beliefs which feels better, because it’s an allowing of the true nature, the awesomeness of you, awareness, feeling, to ‘shine through’. It’s the evidence that the feeling of alignment occurs naturally, in accordance with unfettering beliefs, and as focus isn’t lent to discordant thoughts / beliefs. 

 

facts! I think that’s why even leaving my house is a relief. Even if it’s just to go get grocery’s.

 

15 hours ago, Phil said:

Usually a point is reached where the stubbornness of being right just isn’t worthwhile anymore, and one instead communicates. But there is no assertion, so no one ever comes along and actually makes anyone question and liberation of beliefs, or communicate, apologize, forgive, etc. 

 

The ringworm is these beliefs about a second self, and others. The beliefs are ‘getting under your skin’ as it were. 

 

You think so? Not saying you’re wrong. I actually don’t know. But it seems like kind of a leap of faith to say that. 

15 hours ago, Phil said:

Given the truth of nonduality, or, that there is no “it” (not two)… “it’s very frustrating” is actually a refusal to acknowledge there isn’t the second self of beliefs, which an “it” is frustrating for. To the liberating contrary, would be the admittance that frustration is felt, and that frustration points to how some thoughts / beliefs feel. Not how a second (nonexistant) self feels, as a nonexistant self can not feel anymore than a unicorn, alien or Bigfoot. 

 

This ‘twisting’ of frustration reframed as frustrating is actually pessimism felt, but denied. The opposite, aligned route, is communication, rather than ‘holding’ these beliefs & judgements, being right and experiencing continued resentment, and ‘beating up on yourself’ therein. 

 

 

[Phil]

19 hours ago, Kevin said:

You think so? Not saying you’re wrong. I actually don’t know. But it seems like kind of a leap of faith to say that. 

I can see how it would sound weird as psychology is based on separate selves and subjective experience, but the fact that ringworm is an inexplicably appearing sphere with bubbles within it is sort of an obvious ‘sign’. A literal super natural ‘clue’. Even more so, the very term used - ringworm, denotes appearance only, as there are no worms involved.

 

19 hours ago, Kevin said:

I believe the separate self relies on memory. Some strange things have been happening with memory. I got paranoid about Alzheimer’s before because it’s becoming harder to remember things. It seems like if memory is less important then it’s harder to construct a self.

Totally, without beliefs there’s no memory, believer, constructor, etc. Just consciousness. 🤍

 

[Kevin]

3 hours ago, Phil said:

I can see how it would sound weird as psychology is based on separate selves and subjective experience, but the fact that ringworm is an inexplicably appearing sphere with bubbles within it is sort of an obvious ‘sign’. A literal super natural ‘clue’. Even more so, the very term used - ringworm, denotes appearance only, as there are no worms involved.

that’s interesting because I get it often. Way more often then all the other people at jiu jitsu.

 

3 hours ago, Phil said:

 

Totally, without beliefs there’s no memory, believer, constructor, etc. Just consciousness. 🤍

 

 

The problem with the memory thing is I’m worried it’s not a good thing. Like it’s making me kind of uncomfortable.

[Phil]

@Kevin

How so?

 

 

[Kevin]

48 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

How so?

 

 

I’m not entirely sure. I think part of it is that without memory there’s no identity and no agency. It’s like everything is collapsing. Hard for me to put into words.

[Phil]

@Kevin

But there is no identity or agency and “everything” is a ‘quantum wave’ collapsing. 

[Phil]

17 hours ago, Kevin said:

that’s interesting because I get it often. Way more often then all the other people at jiu jitsu.

 

 

The problem with the memory thing is I’m worried it’s not a good thing. Like it’s making me kind of uncomfortable.

Given that you are you, how do you know you’re worried?

 

Wouldn’t that require two you’s?

One which knows the other is worried?

 

What about worry as an emotion, which is felt?

 

Same for I’m depressed. 

[Kevin]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Given that you are you, how do you know you’re worried?

 

Wouldn’t that require two you’s?

One which knows the other is worried?

 

What about worry as an emotion, which is felt?

 

Same for I’m depressed. 

Idk I guess I’m feeling the emotion.

[Kevin]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Given that you are you, how do you know you’re worried?

 

Wouldn’t that require two you’s?

One which knows the other is worried?

 

What about worry as an emotion, which is felt?

 

Same for I’m depressed. 

Also I’m experiencing worry because I’m focusing on thoughts about if there’s no agency how will I do anything? With no motivation or free will what’s to stop me from sitting in my house until I die? That last thought is a little extreme. But a more reasonable worry is what’s to stop me from sitting around and getting fat for a year.

[Phil]

24 minutes ago, Kevin said:

Also I’m experiencing worry because I’m focusing on thoughts about if there’s no agency how will I do anything?

That there is a doer is a belief.  Nothing’s changing here, other than maybe letting a belief go. 

Happiness is the truth. 

Truth is only obscured by beliefs. 

 

24 minutes ago, Kevin said:

With no motivation or free will what’s to stop me from sitting in my house until I die?

That “me” is like “the doer”.

 

You, awareness, happiness, are aware of these thoughts, about a “second self”. 

 

Breathe. Relax. No change is going to happen, other than allowing inspiration, which happens naturally. 

 

24 minutes ago, Kevin said:

That last thought is a little extreme. But a more reasonable worry is what’s to stop me from sitting around and getting fat for a year.

Worry is an emotion. There is no such thing as a reasonable worry. Given how worry feels, perhaps the thought is a little off, even if previously believed to be true. 

Maybe it isn’t. 

 

Maybe stop judging in regard to fat…?