My Guidance°°°Placa de viziune and Progress Record

[Reena]

Kill all your problems. 

 

[Reena]

Try to be in an emotionally stable state. You have already been doing a good job.

 I have only ever wanted the good in everything. 

 

Edited November 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

Any kind of humiliation is going to be triggering. It's not my fault. 

 

I hate when I'm told to shut down. Like women have always been. 

 

It's like my feelings will never matter to the world. And they still say women have it easy. 

 

Millions of women in my country commit suicide each year owing to harassment by men. I'm not even kidding. It's generational trauma in me when a man attacks me. It's bound to make me defensive. It's like you're always supposed to be this "good girl" no matter what the world does to you. It sickens my spirit. 

 

 

[Reena]

I can create an Oyster for myself. 

 

 

[Reena]

 

Xiuhtecuhtli.. I can talk to my God, my husband. The God of the Sun. What to do about the situation. 

 

Sleep is my enemy. People are my enemies. Food is my enemy. 

 

Man is not my enemy. A proper man. A husband.

 

Stay with your friends. Leave enemies behind. 

 

 

Edited November 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

The last few days have been emotionally exhausting to me especially on this forum especially all the attacks on my character, mean things being spoken. I can't survive in a mean environment where people say mean things to each other. It's the same problem I suffered on Actualized org. 

 

I should probably think of quitting this forum for good. 

 

There is no point in being anxious in a place where people constantly attack you. 

 

Being called vile stuff.

 

I just don't feel good. 

 

It takes away any energy I am left with. And it takes a whole lot to be back up on my feet the next day. 

 

I want to sleep in the arms of an angel, in the arms of a prince. 

 

I don't like life. I keep telling myself I have to live. 

 

 

 

Edited November 23, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

And then I engage in coping behaviors when my mood is dull.. It's impossible. 

[Reena]

I even forgot what I wanted to do because of the fight that happened a few hours ago. I just don't feel okay. It's like I want to punch myself for feeling so low and let others get the better of me. 

 

[Reena]

I can't deal with fights. It takes away anything I have. 

[Reena]

I want to disable all notifications and just shut down in my shell. 

 

I come here to talk to people. Not to fight. I don't like responding to people who hate me. 

 

 

And this is how women left Actualized org. Even one dude will be enough to make you leave the forum. 

 

 

 

Edited November 23, 2023 by Reena

[Phil]

Hates felt by ‘the hater’ so to speak, not the hated. It’s suffering enough already. 

[Reena]

1 minute ago, Phil said:

Hates felt by ‘the hater’ so to speak, not the hated. It’s suffering enough already. 

Thank you Phil. 

[Phil]

If I might, rather than think of yourself (as a coward or any thing else)… acknowledge the emotion felt, and why. 

🤍

[Reena]

Just now, Phil said:

If I might, rather than think of yourself (as a coward or any thing else)… acknowledge the emotion felt, and why. 

🤍

The emotion of imminent fear. The emotion of some man trying to threaten my existence on the internet. Existential fear. The feeling of abandonment as a child that triggers extensive defense.

 

[Phil]

@Reena

For clarity, simplicity, liberation… using the tools… 🙂

 

Is the emotion fear felt presently, or imminent?

Put another way, could an emotion be felt in a future… and can you really predict a future?

 

Is the emotion fear an emotion, or an “existential” concept?

 

Using the scale as a reference, and certainly not meant sarcastically, is “some man trying to threaten my existence” an emotion on the scale?

 

Likewise, is “being abandoned as a child” an emotion (on the scale)?

 

 

In trying to keep it simple… I’m not suggesting anything did or didn’t happen, or that any experience is or isn’t valid. The aim or point or is only clarity, simplicity & liberation. 

[Reena]

4 minutes ago, Phil said:

Using the scale as a reference, and certainly not meant sarcastically, is “some man trying to threaten my existence” an emotion on the scale?

 

Likewise, is “being abandoned as a child” an emotion (on the scale)?

No these aren't emotions on the scale. But they are how my brain responds to a situation. These are like deposited memories from past experiences where I was either threatened or abandoned. 

 

[Reena]

6 minutes ago, Phil said:

the emotion fear an emotion, or an “existential” concept?

This is an emotion. I am feeling it since last 24 hours. 

 

[Reena]

6 minutes ago, Phil said:

Is the emotion fear felt presently, or imminent?

For the past week my emotions fluctuated from fear anxiety, mistrust to calmness,coping, feeling better to fear again and today it's too much fear and even anger in between. 

 

P. S - I'm also Borderline so my emotions can fluctuate a lot in a short span of time and these can be like huge waves, like intense emotions. I can go into intense rage or panic. 

 

 

[Phil]

16 minutes ago, Reena said:

This is an emotion. I am feeling it since last 24 hours. 

 

🙂

 

 

For sure. Emotions can be intense. Especially when we allow emotions to be acknowledged & felt which we haven’t been. I wish I had the words for how worthwhile it is to do so nonetheless. 

 

🤍

 

When we resist feeling a discordant emotion, it persists. It’s like an important message from a trustworthy source that loves us so much the phone just keeps ringing until we receive the message. 

 

When we allow a discordant emotion to be felt, not only does it dissipate & dissolve… we also experience new insight, and going forward, the discordant emotion occurs less frequently, and with less & less severity, until it no longer occurs. 

 

Scale wise, fear to anger is quite a jump. I do acknowledge you are feeling those emotions, I’m not trying to suggest in any way that this is not the case. 

 

But I do suggest the emotions between fear & anger are also felt. In the same non-resistance manor, when those emotions are acknowledged… there is much insight received, much relief felt, and much clarity unfettered. It’s like taking off armor that weighs 100 lbs, that was adapted to and unnoticed.  

 

 

[Reena]

6 minutes ago, Phil said:

When we resist feeling a discordant emotion, it persists. It’s like an important message from a trustworthy source that loves us so much the phone just keeps ringing until we receive the message. 

 

What do you mean by feel an emotion?