In need of healthy expression of sexuality

[Bob Seeker]

I’m 25 y/o male and I’ve never had a girlfriend and I’m not a romantic person, but clearly I feel something is missing. I can be plenty social and likable but I’ve never been able to form a real relationship. I’ve always felt different and I’m not smooth with women it seems.

 

I have normal sex drive so of course all that gets channeled into porn and it feels pathetic.

 

I’m currently immunocompromised while I receive chemotherapy but this will end in 4-5 months I think. 

 

I don’t want just any unconscious relationship to use a woman for sex or for entertainment but I feel like I don’t have much to offer a woman because I’m not that mature either and I am iffy about kids and about a traditional marriage where you live together and stuff. I mean I don’t know a single married couple who don’t fight all the time.

 

I don’t like friend groups and acting all unconscious with them and I won’t drink or do drugs unconsciously. I hate bars too, so I basically have no in-person friends.

I’m also afraid a relationship will take up a lot of my time and I have a fear about wasting time apparently.

 

Putting on dream board “healthy expression of sexuality”

 

 

 

 

Edited November 4, 2023 by Bob Seeker

[Jonas Long]

Try a porn site where you can make an account and chat with content creators who share their stuff.  They're people too!  And a lot of the time they're cool to talk with.

[Alexander]

21 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

Try a porn site where you can make an account and chat with content creators who share their stuff.  They're people too!  And a lot of the time they're cool to talk with.

Do you have to pay for such an opportunity? DM me link please.

[Jonas Long]

12 minutes ago, Alexander said:

Do you have to pay for such an opportunity? DM me link please.

You didn't when I used to do that, I used to chat with content makers on p hub. Also places like deviantart or fetlife 

[Bob Seeker]

People,  please

[Jonas Long]

9 minutes ago, Bob Seeker said:

People,  please

What?  It's a serious suggestion.

Edited November 4, 2023 by Jonas Long

[Orb]

@Bob Seeker i suggest going out and joining a community or chatting up girls at a bar or something. Find a way to actually talk to them and make friends and get their numbers and set up a date. 

 

Relationships/socializing will force you to face your inner fears/triggers. It'll lead to further unfettering in the long run 🙂.

[Jonas Long]

Get on some dating apps if you aren't already.

[Phil]

2 hours ago, Bob Seeker said:

I’m 25 y/o male and I’ve never had a girlfriend and I’m not a romantic person, but clearly I feel something is missing. I can be plenty social and likable but I’ve never been able to form a real relationship. I’ve always felt different and I’m not smooth with women it seems.

 

I have normal sex drive so of course all that gets channeled into porn and it feels pathetic.

 

I’m currently immunocompromised while I receive treatment but this will end in 4-5 months I think.

 

I don’t want just any unconscious relationship to use a woman for sex or for entertainment but I feel like I don’t have much to offer a woman because I’m not that mature either.

 

I don’t like friend groups and acting all unconscious with them and I won’t drink or do drugs unconsciously. I hate bars too, so I basically have no in-person friends.

I’m also afraid a relationship will take up a lot of my time and I have a fear about wasting time apparently.

 

Putting on dream board “healthy expression of sexuality”

In your innocence, in being experience… there was a natural overlooking of your true infinitude and unconditionality. Wholeness, completeness, happiness.

 

Beliefs about yourself were inadvertently created while experiencing the world you are being, in this overlooking of that you are in fact, being the world.

 

That is referred to as conditioning.

These beliefs are now as if ‘conditions’ arising as thoughts, about yourself. Beliefs which don’t resonate with the fact that you indeed are infinite, unconditional, absolutely innocent, happiness.

 

When it comes to beliefs, and the discord & alignment felt, one can tell by how it feels, what is and isn’t accurate about one’s true nature, the truth, or simply, yourself. 

 

 

 

But, you didn’t listen to feeling.

Instead, you listened to a teacher, and conjecture was added to the conditioning.

Conjecture is essentially ‘someone else’s’ beliefs, ‘their’ conditioning. So now you still have the naturally occurring conditioning to dispel, and there is also now the unnaturally occurring, manmade conjecture to dispel. 

 

The conjecture, unfortunately, is far more fundamental than the conditioning.

Inherently included in the conjecture of a teacher of spirituality, is convincing you to listen to the teacher instead of the guidance, and to therein suppress the guidance - of yourself. 

 

 

 

In your innocence… you were convinced by the teacher that the teacher knows & understands a lot about consciousness, and therefore knows what is conscious & unconscious.

 

The teacher overlooked that this ‘knower’ or ‘understander’ of consciousness…  is not actually a separate-of-consciousness “self”, but is aversion, the avoidance and suppression of, the guidance. Therein ‘their’ conditioning, again innocently, becomes ‘your’ conjecture. 

 

Now you share this fundamental misunderstanding & misidentification, and believe that you are separate of consciousness, as ‘the knower’, and know about consciousness, such as… what is conscious and what is unconscious. 

 

 

 

The body bears the burden of this discord. Stress, tension, dis-ease, etc.

The body is naturally resilient and can handle naturally occurring conditioning.

The body isn’t built for that addition of unnatural, man-made discordant conjecture, in addition to the naturally occurring conditioning.

 

 

Just as the teacher will unequivocally therein manifest bodily health issues related to the indigestibility of the fundamental misunderstanding & misidentification arrived at via suppression of the guidance… so too are you now experiencing the bodily manifestation of this, as what’s being referred to as immunocompromised.

 

This is the body’s way of telling you (and the teacher) that the body is not immune to the discord of this, and it will have effects. It’s like a 4-5 month demand made on behalf of the body & alignment, by well-being. 

 

 

Try to appreciate that when there is a fundamental misunderstanding, or, overlooking of ignorance, and an ignoring of the guidance of feeling - all thoughts, insights, epiphanies etc that follow, include the fundamental misunderstanding.

 

It’s like if you were wearing red tinted glasses, and looking at the color blue - you would very much believe you were seeing, purple - because you don’t realize you’re wearing the ‘red tinted glasses’. Because it isn’t purple, it’s blue, it’s inevitable that things aren’t adding up - making sense, and something seems to be missing. As in, you don’t realize the conjecture is fundamentally, in actuality, a misunderstanding & misidentification, and an ignoring of the guidance of feeling. But that is what you’re experiencing nonetheless. 

 

 

The conditioning & the conjecture are now becoming more evident as you pursue socializing & creating a relationship. That is, you are experiencing reality that in fact blue, but experiencing purple, and it only seems that way to you, as filtered through the conditioning & conjecture. 

 

Discordant thoughts felt:

I’m not romantic.

Something exists.

(Yet) something is missing.

I’m not mature.

I don’t like friend groups.

I’m pathetic / feel pathetic.

I hate. (I’m intolerant)

I’m inferior (‘don’t have much to offer’).

I’m afraid. 

 

These conditions, beliefs, aren’t ‘your’ conditioning. These are ‘your’ conjecture, the teacher’s conditioning. 

 

If this is making any sense at all, let me know, and we can move on to how to align / dispel all of it. 

 

[Bob Seeker]

@Phil I do understand what you are saying and I’m open to hearing how to dispel it. 
 

thanks 

[Mandy]

5 hours ago, Bob Seeker said:

I’m also afraid a relationship will take up a lot of my time and I have a fear about wasting time apparently.

Why the fear of wasting time? Is there something else you want to use that time for? 

[Bob Seeker]

13 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Why the fear of wasting time? Is there something else you want to use that time for? 

Furthering my career so I get to do what interests me. I understand that I’m thinking in a very limited way.

[Mandy]

7 minutes ago, Bob Seeker said:

Furthering my career so I get to do what interests me. I understand that I’m thinking in a very limited way.

What interests you?

 

[Reena]

Dating can be cruel. It leads to disappointments. You have to be prepared for that. 

What stops you from socializing? 

[Devin]

You can find a woman who is also preoccupied with career or whatever, you can just get together a couple times a week for something like dinner, talk, and sex, and the occasional activity. Just don't be creepy about it, this is a legit relationship, don't talk about sex early on just be upfront about your limited time, plenty of woman will love to be with you in that type of relationship. Try bumble, or meeting someone at one of your interests.

[Phil]

@Bob Seeker

What do you want most?

[Phil]

10 hours ago, DMT Elf said:

Punish me, master. 😳

You’re avoiding the Truth. 

[Phil]

@DMT Elf

There’s no mind fuckery going on here.

Of course I wanna hear em!

 

That you’re avoiding the truth is of course a joke.

[Phil]

@DMT Elf

How is that there aren’t separate selves which avoid the truth ‘smartassed’?

 

[Phil]

15 minutes ago, DMT Elf said:

It’s not necessarily, but it could be in a certain context. Like saying it to a separate self. It’s like saying, “no, you’re avoiding the truth”. 

It’s like saying “there aren’t separate selves”, and changing the context to “no, you’re avoiding the truth”. 

It might seem like something else being said. Or maybe that contextual interpretation changes what’s said. 🤷