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Judging others is caused by the false ideal self


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If we find ourselves being very judgmental towards others, the cause is that we have created an ideal image of ourselves in our head. We idealized ourselves, we hold a belief that we are perfect or that we should be perfect. We deny our true self and keep chasing the ideal self.

 

Then when we begin doing the self work, we learn about the true self, but we still believe it’s going to be some magical self full of talents and purpose - when in reality the true self has flaws, traumas, is not good in many things. Understanding that true self is not some magic unicorn greatness, but it is actually being able to see yourself for what is, identify strength and weaknesses and work with that. 


Ego does not want us to see the true self because it needs greatness. Through judgments it protects itself. 
 

The suffering and loss of freedom comes from the endless chasing of the ideal self.
 

Judgment, to me, is any kind of labelling that has an emotion and good/bad attached to it - he’s a narcissist, she’s a liar, she is such a wonderful person.  

Edited by Rose
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Careful with this one.  Healthy judgment is part of what makes a mature person.  Not enough judgment is just as bad as too much judgment.  There's a wobble between the open vs./and closed duality.  Not being judgmental enough allows people who do judge a certain measure of power,  This is why the Feminine can be dominated by the Masculine who is very controlling yet deceptive about what they're doing in some way.

Edited by Joseph Maynor

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On 11/3/2023 at 7:26 PM, Rose said:

If we find ourselves being very judgmental towards others, the cause is that we have created an ideal image of ourselves in our head. We idealized ourselves, we hold a belief that we are perfect or that we should be perfect. We deny our true self and keep chasing the ideal self.

 

Then when we begin doing the self work, we learn about the true self, but we still believe it’s going to be some magical self full of talents and purpose - when in reality the true self has flaws, traumas, is not good in many things. Understanding that true self is not some magic unicorn greatness, but it is actually being able to see yourself for what is, identify strength and weaknesses and work with that. 


Ego does not want us to see the true self because it needs greatness. Through judgments it protects itself. 
 

The suffering and loss of freedom comes from the endless chasing of the ideal self.
 

Judgment, to me, is any kind of labelling that has an emotion and good/bad attached to it - he’s a narcissist, she’s a liar, she is such a wonderful person.  

What you call weakness.You can learn anything and change in any way you want.Ideal self is what we some aspire to be .It has anything to do with judgements.Live and let live.Authentic self is awesome.

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38 minutes ago, Alexander said:

What you call weakness.You can learn anything and change in any way you want.Ideal self is what we some aspire to be .It has anything to do with judgements.Live and let live.Authentic self is awesome.

We waste our lives chasing that ideal self denying what we are. Ideal self is basically the ego. Authentic self is not “awesome” because it will have flaws, and the ego will do anything for us not to see those flaws - it prefers chasing the ideal. 

Edited by Rose
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1 hour ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Careful with this one.  Healthy judgment is part of what makes a mature person.  Not enough judgment is just as bad as too much judgment.  There's a wobble between the open vs./and closed duality.  Not being judgmental enough allows people who do judge a certain measure of power,  This is why the Feminine can be dominated by the Masculine who is very controlling yet deceptive about what they're doing in some way.

There comes a time when you are over that and are not paranoid of people anymore. You are not worried that someone will “take advantage” of you at that point. 
 

Most people are stuck in Karpman’s victim-persecutor-rescuer triangle - some people believe 95% of people are there. That’s where a lot of judgment happens - good vs. bad.

 

When people move to the next level hero-philosopher-motivator, they just don’t care about judging people so much anymore. Judgment is replaced by preference at that point, by looking out for things and people that bring joy. 

Edited by Rose
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Just now, Rose said:

We waste our lives chasing that ideal self denying what we are. Ideal self is basically the ego. Authentic self is not “awesome” because it will have flaws, and the ego will do anything for us not to see those flaws - it prefers chasing the ideal.

Empowerment comes with realizing that our authentic self is Love and Love is perfect. 

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8 minutes ago, Alexander said:

Empowerment comes with realizing that our authentic self is Love and Love is perfect. 

And to experience that kind of love you need to be able to stop the judgment - it’s not just going to come to you out of blue.

Edited by Rose
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