Feeling discouraged

[Kevin]

I feel discouraged because I’ve talked to so many girls and none have been interested. I’m incredibly frustrated by it. Also I was at a nightclub on Saturday and I ended up talking to this girl for a while. She was very flirty and the energy was there. She insisted on getting my Instagram and even gave me her card as well. I texted her today asking her out and she said she had a boyfriend. I felt disappointed by that and angry.

 

Also I feel resentful towards women in general. Like if I had a girlfriend and she talked with a guy the way she talked to me I’d be furious. I don’t know. I guess I’m feeling dejected and angry at women in general.

[Blessed2]

This might resonate, or not.

 

All this relationship stuff, dating, romance, etc, it's not supposed to work out. It never will. Relationships will never work. Happiness will never be found there.

 

Like time, space and a body, relationships are a veiling of our true nature. Our True Nature is eternal unconditional love. But we cannot take infinite love, we think we're not worthy and that it will kill us. So we hide from it in a matrix of our own making, a matrix of lack, loss, unavailability.

 

This experience you're having, is working exactly as it's supposed to. It's supposed to keep the dream running, not to make you happy.

 

The age old story. A woman of your dreams, so close but so far away. Intense desire and longing, yet doubt and failure to fulfill it. And even if you marry her, the body will get sick and old, the mind and memory will dull, and eventually end in death. It is a symbol, a metaphor, an image of our denial of infinite love.

 

5 hours ago, Kevin said:

Also I feel resentful towards women in general.

 

This is exactly how the matrix lures us in. Seeing the fault, blame and cause 'outside' somewhere else, in someone else.

 

Meanwhile it's only you rejecting love.

 

 

Everyone on this planet loves you more than you could know. All 'women' love you, entirely, every cell of you. The rejection by women you seem to experience is an image you are placing to veil this love. Lift the veil. The true fiancée is already waiting for you. White dress and all.

 

Edited May 8, 2023 by Blessed2

[Phil]

‘I’m discouraged’ is walking down the same road, falling in the same hole. 

Courage is taking another path. 

Whatever it is, guilt is an emotion, self is pure innocence, blame & anger release and clarify, but resentment is nothing more than a waste of time. 

Pick wanted over being right. Let it be that easy. 

 

Make a short list, maybe five aspects of things you appreciate about woman. 

 

Freedom from the past is presence. Presence is the great feeling sought. 

Hangin onto the past make’s it seem like the great feeling is coming from experience. 

[Mandy]

The world reflects back to us how we feel about ourSelves/Awareness. You're really into it, curious, really interested, but you choose what you think you already got and know. 

[Kevin]

10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

This might resonate, or not.

 

All this relationship stuff, dating, romance, etc, it's not supposed to work out. It never will. Relationships will never work. Happiness will never be found there.

 

Like time, space and a body, relationships are a veiling of our true nature. Our True Nature is eternal unconditional love. But we cannot take infinite love, we think we're not worthy and that it will kill us. So we hide from it in a matrix of our own making, a matrix of lack, loss, unavailability.

 

This experience you're having, is working exactly as it's supposed to. It's supposed to keep the dream running, not to make you happy.

 

The age old story. A woman of your dreams, so close but so far away. Intense desire and longing, yet doubt and failure to fulfill it. And even if you marry her, the body will get sick and old, the mind and memory will dull, and eventually end in death. It is a symbol, a metaphor, an image of our denial of infinite love.

 

I know a woman won’t bring me lasting fulfillment or happiness. I just want to experience the sex, the companionship, the falling asleep together, etc. I’ve experienced all this before and while it doesn’t bring lasting happiness or fulfillment, it’s pretty damn good and it makes it much easier for me to sleep at night.

 

I also get frustrated because I see so many people experiencing that love and connection in relationships. All types of people. Short people and tall people. Fat people and skinny people, depressed people and happy people. I used to think you had to fit a certain criteria to be loved. You had to be happy, confident, fit, etc. now I see that’s not true but somehow I can’t make it happen.

10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

This is exactly how the matrix lures us in. Seeing the fault, blame and cause 'outside' somewhere else, in someone else.

 

Meanwhile it's only you rejecting love.

 

 

Everyone on this planet loves you more than you could know. All 'women' love you, entirely, every cell of you. The rejection by women you seem to experience is an image you are placing to veil this love. Lift the veil. The true fiancée is already waiting for you. White dress and all.

 

I agree with what you’re saying though. I must be rejecting love. I am somehow creating this experience for myself. I just don’t know how to stop. I’ll for sure check out the forgiveness method though. It might help. Thank you.

[Kevin]

9 hours ago, Phil said:

‘Discouraged’ is walking down the same road, falling in the same hole. 

Courage is taking another path. 

Whatever it is, guilt is an emotion, self is pure innocence, blame releases and clarifies, and resentment is nothing more than a waste of life and refusal to express.

 

Are you saying that resentment is a refusal to express guilt? Because that makes sense. Sometimes I don’t like to express anger, rage or blame because I think they I are unproductive and I should just take responsibility.

[Kevin]

4 hours ago, Mandy said:

The world reflects back to us how we feel about ourSelves/Awareness. You're really into it, curious, really interested, but you choose what you think you already got and know. 

Sorry I’m a little uncertain about what you mean here.

[Mandy]

@Kevin God is a jealous God, when we think ourselves... when we don't abide as awareness we reap what we sow. Give attention to that which matters. Recognize that which you really are. God is a jealous God and also a total Whore, has unlimited unabashed love for everything. 

[Kevin]

4 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Kevin God is a jealous God, when we think ourselves... when we don't abide as awareness we reap what we sow. Give attention to that which matters. Recognize that which you really are. God is a jealous God and also a total Whore, has unlimited unabashed love for everything. 

I watched that Rupert Spira video you posted in my other thread. I get what you mean about thinking ourselves. All this suffering is due to self referential thoughts and interpretations. I’m not sure what matters though. I thought finding love is what matters but that has been causing a lot of suffering.

[Mandy]

27 minutes ago, Kevin said:

I watched that Rupert Spira video you posted in my other thread. I get what you mean about thinking ourselves. All this suffering is due to self referential thoughts and interpretations. I’m not sure what matters though. I thought finding love is what matters but that has been causing a lot of suffering.

Love is expression, an expression of the love that you really are. Look first for what's already here, what's unconditional. The realization of the desired manifestations will sneak up on you when you least expect. 

[WhiteOwl]

You are pushing it very much away. If you feel and think like that, its not the time to go out and try to meet women. Take some time to think only of positive aspects of women as is already mentioned, and just relax. 

A question i ask "myself" sometimes. Would i date myself? Would i be a great partner? If you don't think so, look into it and turn it around. If you think you are amazing and a great partner, and you also think women are lovely, it will happen for you very easily. And just relax, don't put it on a pedestal

[Phil]

3 hours ago, Kevin said:

Are you saying that resentment is a refusal to express guilt? Because that makes sense. Sometimes I don’t like to express anger, rage or blame because I think they I are unproductive and I should just take responsibility.

I’d explore what’s behind why it seems like insecurity & jealousy are women’s fault. 

[Kevin]

4 hours ago, Mandy said:

Love is expression, an expression of the love that you really are. Look first for what's already here, what's unconditional. The realization of the desired manifestations will sneak up on you when you least expect. 

Thank you. Sometimes I need reminding I guess

[Kevin]

2 hours ago, WhiteOwl said:

You are pushing it very much away. If you feel and think like that, its not the time to go out and try to meet women. Take some time to think only of positive aspects of women as is already mentioned, and just relax. 

A question i ask "myself" sometimes. Would i date myself? Would i be a great partner? If you don't think so, look into it and turn it around. If you think you are amazing and a great partner, and you also think women are lovely, it will happen for you very easily. And just relax, don't put it on a pedestal

You’re right I definitely feel that I’m pushing it away now. I was just frustrated because there was a while where I felt totally ready. I felt like a good person to date. I guess I got frustrated and impatient because reality wasn’t reflecting that.

[Kevin]

2 hours ago, Phil said:

I’d explore what’s behind why it seems like insecurity & jealousy are women’s fault. 

I feel huge resistance to that so it must be worth exploring. 

[Phil]

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/blog/2022/7/15/hct70p9xk1k88ut32bfzf9i68ye9gl

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/blog/2022/7/16/qctotgaorsvipgxotcgnbrvk5syv3c

🤍

[Kevin]

3 hours ago, Phil said:

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/blog/2022/7/15/hct70p9xk1k88ut32bfzf9i68ye9gl

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/blog/2022/7/16/qctotgaorsvipgxotcgnbrvk5syv3c

🤍

Those posts really hit right now. A lot to process. Thank you.

[Phil]

@Kevin

This also comes to mind… it seems like 1. feeling, 2. thoughts about yourself, and 3. females (as far as potential relationship partners) are one category. 

I’d make em three categories. 

I’d write the three categories, and then write 5 things you appreciate for each under each category. 

[Kevin]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

This also comes to mind… it seems like 1. feeling, 2. thoughts about yourself, and 3. females (as far as potential relationship partners) are one category. 

I’d make em three categories. 

I’d write the three categories, and then write 5 things you appreciate for each under each category. 

Do you mean write 5 things I appreciate about myself and about feelings and about women?

[Phil]

@Kevin

Yeah. But feeling. Not feelings.