Anger Towards Women

[Orb]

When I stop watching porn and mastubrating, I'm often shocked by the hatred and irritation that comes up. 

 

It feels like being starved yet not being able to satisfy the hunger. My balls are filling up with rage every day. 

 

Since i was in highschool i argued with girls a lot and never had much luck dating them, i was often rejected. 

 

I often missed signals girls would give me when they liked me or I would notice but not feel worthy enough to follow through. 

 

Some girls did like me though and I should've dated them, I was just picky. Or my social skills were so poopy it would fuck everything up. 

 

I was at a supermarket and I saw this girl who was so hot at the cash register. And I was so upset like fuck why can't I have sex with her! 😡

 

Why do I gotta see pretty women that I can't fuck? 

 

If you're a girl and you're reading this, I'm just venting, this is necessary to express in order to heal, so please do not take this the wrong way. 

 

I will express how I feel about women honestly so that I can learn to be kind to them.

[Orb]

Also, the impulsive feeling of wanting to fuck a girl that I just met could be due to a long term porn addiction, I've read that porn addiction causes men to expect immediate sex aka immediate gratification.

 

Seems like white girls tend to not be attracted to me as well and I live in the south in USA so there's white girls everywhere 🙃. 

 

One girl called me a Muslim bomber, what a bitch!!!🤬

Edited March 21, 2023 by Orb

[Mandy]

The appreciation of a woman can't be resigned to being present only during (or after, I dunno) a physical action with her, because feeling the whole time is saying "you're not a thing." You're in a Mexican standoff with self acceptance. You insist the attractive girl must accept you first, you're literally objectifying attraction itself. 

[Orb]

@Mandy the Mexican standoff thing was hilarious and true. But it doesnt matter bc the sensations are intense. I'm just gonna be in a straight jacket so I don't masturabte and I'll just go craaazzy in my room.  

 

it feels like painful like a tension that must be released. 

[Mandy]

Intense sensations are far easier to deal with than vague ones exactly because they are harder to ignore. Any tension focused on becomes more tense. Use that for real relief or use it for more resistance, is the focus resistant thought or awareness? 

 

Maybe when the little head starts demanding stuff, ask the heart to weight in. Have a proper conference call out on paper with all parts of you. 

[MetaSage]

Right? The same seems to happen to me in a certain sense, Jesus Christ. Mostly talking about the irritation after some period of cement retention.

Edited March 21, 2023 by MetaSage

[Orb]

@Mandy when i dont release, i just wanna punch a wall until i pass out. 

 

@MetaSage yea the irritation is insane, and I'm fully aware of how badly women have been treated in the past but there's like this deep misogyny going on within. I think most men have it. It may have started from the mother neglecting her child, or the child being abused by a woman or something, or a young boy getting his first rejection from a girl. Who knows. 

[Orb]

I think I feel more confident with women when I don't beat my meat. 

 

I work from home so I cannot let this sexual energy EXPLODE!!! By explode I mean through my awesomeness, not through my penis.

[MetaSage]

1 hour ago, Orb said:

yea the irritation is insane, and I'm fully aware of how badly women have been treated in the past but there's like this deep misogyny going on within. I think most men have it. It may have started from the mother neglecting her child, or the child being abused by a woman or something, or a young boy getting his first rejection from a girl. Who knows. 

 

that actually makes sense. Could be possible.

 

Not necessarily the misogyny but perhaps even a certain deep, unconscious jealousy or envy towards the female sex. After all, males are born from females. Males are "outsiders", in a way, we were born from the opposite sex while females were born from their "kind", so to speak. I'd imagine that might have an impact on the experience of being male.

Edited March 21, 2023 by MetaSage

[Orb]

@MetaSage yep, the moment mom kisses the baby, the baby believes Love comes from Mom. The fundamental separation belief begins. 

 

It's obviously women's fault 🙄. (I'm kidding)

[Mandy]

Alright, let's talk about rejection from women. 

 

Let's assume for a little bit that men are men, women are women, and hormones are a thing that affect them. Crazy, I know. Let's assume it for the purposes of this thought experiment, though. There's one day out of a 28 cycle that women feel the full intensity of hormones and attraction to the opposite gender that men do, (not that we can really accurately compare and it depends on health and emotions and so much else but let's say that's the case.) So there's a one in 28 chance that you're dealing with her on that day. There's also a 3 in 28 chance that you're dealing with her when she's in a hormonaly supported cycle of letting go of all the emotional stuff she has repressed all month. Then there's all kinds of days that are some mix of both all in between. Considering this, does this make rejection or getting ambivalent reactions from a woman personal to you, at all? 

 

Mother Earth, I'm really pissed off at you because I can't go swimming in January in Northern Canada. What did I do to deserve it? Why are you rejecting me? 

[Orb]

@Mandy so girls are horny once a month? How could mother nature screw up like this? 

 

why would mother nature make men horny all the time and girls horny once a month? That sucks. 

 

And it is personal to me, a lot of those girls in high school were doing slutty things with other guys who were bigger stronger funnier etc. I don't care about being slutty I'm just bitter that it wasn't with me. So the thing of girls being horny once a month doesn't make much sense when they're sending nudes and doing stuff with other guys all the time. 

 

They rejected me because they didn't like how I looked or they didn't resonate with my personality.

[Mandy]

@Orb Because mother nature isn't an entity, and she isn't an entity that screws up, she isn't even a she. 

 

It does not suck, it's magical, it's the beauty of the alignment of timing. It's exactly what YOU want, what YOU created. The moon is only full one day out of 28 or we'd all be lunatics. It's Spring after a long winter when everything comes to life, it's absolute magic. It would be really f-ing exhausting to have all that bright light, birds singing, flowers blooming and bugs flying up your nose 12 months of the year. It's a special event that's orchestrated and carefully intended. No one leaves a Christmas tree up for 12 months a year, why not? You cannot demand that nature over produce. We love that men are ever ready, willing and able. But if we were too, it would be an absolute nightmare. 

 

2 minutes ago, Orb said:

And it is personal to me, a lot of those girls in high school were doing slutty things with other guys who were bigger stronger funnier etc. I don't care about being slutty I'm just bitter that it wasn't with me. So the thing of girls being horny once a month doesn't make much sense when they're sending nudes and doing stuff with other guys all the time. 

Because most of those actions are ego driven, not hormonaly driven. It's looking for confirmation of self worth and entertainment through the guys that society or her other friends has deemed attractive or desirable, rather than really letting her own authentic drives go. 

4 minutes ago, Orb said:

They rejected me because they didn't like how I looked or they didn't resonate with my personality.

Because she's placing society's game instead of following her own heart, you're Mexican standoffing with yourself again. You're playing too. You're the one that needs to stop playing first. That's the key. 

[Orb]

@Mandy I hate that they did dumb shit just for attention and approval. I hate that they made people like me feel lonely, depressed, suicidal because of their stupid judgement.

 

but i did dumb shit too when i was younger. 

 

i hate that women do dumb shit now. I hate that i have to go to night clubs and listen to bad music to get a girlfriend.

[Orb]

@Mandy buts always the man's fault, no one ever acknowledges how women make men feel worthless and immasculated throughout highschool,no one acknowledges the mental effects of that. I was a piece of trash no one wanted in high school.

[Mandy]

@Orb That's just the game. Stop playing, stop chasing, and attract.

[Mandy]

@Orb I had buck teeth and was painfully shy in highschool, I didn't treat anyone like shit, but I was mostly invisible. Makes no difference what gender you are, you attract your experience based on assumptions about yourself, that's the game. 

[Rose]

1 hour ago, Orb said:

And I was so upset like fuck why can't I have sex with her! 😡

This is mental 🤯 “I was so upset, fuck, why can’t I be a millionaire 😡”. Why are you so entitled? You probably can’t have sex with her because she doesn’t want to have sex with you..

Edited March 21, 2023 by Rose

[Orb]

3 minutes ago, Rose said:

This is mental 🤯 “I was so upset, fuck, why can’t I be a millionaire 😡”. Why are you so entitled? You probably can’t have sex with her because she doesn’t want to have sex with you..

If you're gonna get triggered then don't read my post. This section is for emptying and honest expression. 

 

Oh whoops it's not in the emptying section, still I'd rather be honest than act nice and walk on egg shells around equally entitled women.

Edited March 21, 2023 by Orb

[Orb]

6 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Orb I had buck teeth and was painfully shy in highschool, I didn't treat anyone like shit, but I was mostly invisible. Makes no difference what gender you are, you attract your experience based on assumptions about yourself, that's the game. 

I was invisible too, you're one of us Mandy 💙✊️.