Orb Posted March 21, 2023 Author Share Posted March 21, 2023 (edited) 1 minute ago, Rose said: How can they not be human beings like you? Don’t you have a mother? You’ve never had a female in your life you could relate to? 🤯 I've had some yes. But I feel like you're doing the same thing to me that you're criticizing me for. I feel like you're talking to me like I'm an alien and it's quite hurtful. I do this to women too and I know how it feels now. Edited March 21, 2023 by Orb Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Long Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 10 minutes ago, Orb said: @Lester Retsel that's true I know its a bs belief, you can find women anywhere not just a nightclub. I'm just growing out of the college age so I feel like I missed out. I see on IG all the ladies are getting drunk at college. I'm over here in my workout clothes working from home 🥴. I really wanna see women as human beings like me. It's fun when I do. Dating apps are the best way to go generally now imo. It clears up so much, you know the people on them are single and looking to meet others. That alone is a huge thing you can skip trying to suss out when you meet someone just out in the world. Which can be great too, of course, but it's so much more up to chance. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 3 minutes ago, Lester Retsel said: It's the same thing. He no doubt has qualities that would be appreciated if he were given a chance to show them. We all do. The pure feeling of being unappreciated is the felt the same way regardless of what it's for. Yea, perhaps. In any case, I am telling him what I am telling myself and what has helped me. He is reacting just like I used to react. Lol. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 2 minutes ago, Orb said: I've had some yes. But I feel like you're doing the same thing to me that you're criticizing me for. I feel like you're talking to me like I'm an alien and it's quite hurtful. I do this to women too and I know how it feels now. You’re much younger than me. You’ve been raised in a different world than I was with first world problems. It is harder for me to relate to you in particular, yes. But you’re not relating to a whole gender. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Long Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 3 minutes ago, Rose said: Yea, perhaps. In any case, I am telling him what I am telling myself and what has helped me. He is reacting just like I used to react. Lol. That's how it goes 😆 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 1 minute ago, Lester Retsel said: That's how it goes 😆 So what is the solution then to not feeling appreciated? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Long Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 2 minutes ago, Rose said: You’re much younger than me. You’ve been raised in a different world than I was with first world problems. It is harder for me to relate to you in particular, yes. But you’re not relating to a whole gender. I'm 37 and so glad I just missed growing up in the whole social media world. I think it comes with some unique and difficult problems that it's hard to fully appreciate not having been through it like it is now. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Long Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 1 minute ago, Rose said: So what is the solution then to not feeling appreciated? I don't know...give appreciation to others and to yourself, and it'll come around, maybe? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Lester Retsel said: I'm 37 and so glad I just missed growing up in the whole social media world. I think it comes with some unique and difficult problems that it's hard to fully appreciate not having been through it like it is now. Yea social media fucks you up in very unique and special way. Here you are, living in a nice house, having nice clothes, having food, having money, yet feeling something is off all the time. Also the population has grown significantly. You’re surrounded by people all the time, but totally disconnected. I am also glad I didn’t grow up in North America. Multiculturalism is also very isolating, people all have different believes, different values, and you constantly feel like you don’t belong. Growing up in single culture was much easier for me to feel like I can relate. Edited March 21, 2023 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Lester Retsel said: I don't know...give appreciation to others and to yourself, and it'll come around, maybe? Damn it, that seems to be the answer I keep to be getting these days all the time. I just want to keep hating 😅, but the universe keeps telling me, no you have to love… I wonder why hating feels better than loving. I wonder what benefits I am getting out hating, why I cling to it so much. Edited March 21, 2023 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Long Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 2 minutes ago, Rose said: Damn it, that seems to be the answer I keep to be getting these days all the time. I just want to keep hating 😅, but the universe keeps telling me, no you have to love… I wonder why hating feels better than living. I wonder what benefits I am getting out hating. I think a lot of it might be from a negativity bias based in survival. It was more important for us to be afraid of predators(lions etc.) so we could run away from them than to feel happy and safe and secure. But we have neuroplasticity and can reprogram the way we interact with the world. It's just not easy to do, and it takes a lot. Its so hard, believe me I know as well as anyone, I've spent so much time hating, and it always feels justified. Fortunately, effort to shake that up is rewarded. It just takes making the initial effort in spite of how you feel at the moment in any moment. And its an ongoing effort Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted March 21, 2023 Author Share Posted March 21, 2023 16 minutes ago, Rose said: You’re much younger than me. You’ve been raised in a different world than I was with first world problems. You're not listening to me at all or seeing me as an individual. Which is how I thought of women! I love it Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 51 minutes ago, Rose said: Being appreciated feels like having more money. It feels kinda papery and cold? 🤔 51 minutes ago, Rose said: Idk if it’s the same. Is it the same? He seems to want things for no reason. I seem to want fairness - but there is no fairness in nature and I am aware of that. There's no fairness for finite objects. You want the means to the end, the object, he wants the means to the end, the woman as an object. Neither of you want to appreciate for the sake of appreciation. You're Mexican standoffing. You're claiming he has "no reason" as if he has no ability to please a woman. He does. Just like you do well at your job. But the Mexican standoff attitude can only repel not attract. Easier to see how Orb is repelling the women he wants to be with than how you're repelling a promotion, right? 51 minutes ago, Rose said: I feel like I was sold a story where if you study hard (10 years and counting for me now) your education will pay off. So it annoys me that someone doing hair or nails can make the same amount of money I do. So the education was a means to an end? Hair and nails people do hard physical work, it's one of the most demanding jobs. You have to be very sensitive to what people want and are envisioning, you have to be on your A game all day, you have to be happy and conversational and responsive, you expose yourself to horrible chemicals and people's germs everyday and have to pay a huge overhead cost. What makes you think your education entitles you to make more than them rather than that it entitled you to work in an environment you preferred over that one? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted March 21, 2023 Author Share Posted March 21, 2023 I'm feeling much better 😌, thanks everyone. It was an emotional Rollercoaster, but the ride was fun overall. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 5 minutes ago, Orb said: You're not listening to me at all or seeing me as an individual. Which is how I thought of women! I love it I am listening to you. I am just saying “heard it all, yawn, what’s next?” Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 Just now, Orb said: I'm feeling much better 😌, thanks everyone. It was an emotional Rollercoaster, but the ride was fun overall. OH NO YOU DIDN'T. I've seen this pattern too much. When you're feeling better might be the time to really delve in though. Get right back in line, we're going again. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted March 21, 2023 Author Share Posted March 21, 2023 @Mandy I got the fast pass this time 😎 Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted March 21, 2023 Author Share Posted March 21, 2023 @Rose okay, let's put that to the test, next time you open a thread to vent we'll see how that works for you haha. 😉 Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 1 minute ago, Orb said: @Mandy I got the fast pass this time 😎 😂 You want to improve the emotional perspective first, THEN look at the thing. Only thinks about women when he feels strong discord, then wonders why he feels anger toward women. Sigh... Tell us how wonderful women are. Three paragraphs. Fast past scanned, you're on your way. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Long Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 9 minutes ago, Mandy said: Mexican standoff Might be time to put this particular colloquialism to bed... Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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