_Married to this forum_

[Reena]

Find people who accept you and believe you. 

 

[Reena]

It's ok. Cheer up. Don't feel bad. 

Don't give up. 

 

[Reena]

I cried a lot today after many days. 

 

[Reena]

I ate ice cream too.

 

[Reena]

I'm feeling down tonight. Things were intense. The last 24 hours were bad. The blaming was sickening. Just trying to stay calm.

[Reena]

It was quite a hot day. I was sweating like crazy. The temperatures climbed 90 degrees. I slept like a log through noon. I just couldn't get anything done. I was too tired and grumpy. Heatwaves are spreading throughout my city and some deaths were reported. My house is on the 6th floor. And it's directly exposed to the hot sun during noons. I could barely breathe.

 

[Reena]

OK trying to collect pieces together once again. 

 

- Waiting for a green signal from Joseph. 

 

- I have to do a recap and restoration of my old journals. 

 

- im glad Leo banned me. It was him and no one else. Thank God. 

 

 

- focus on food girl. Go cook. 

 

 

- hunting for new perfumes. Still looking. Precious goodies. 

 

 

- will mute Snapchat after I reach a 1000 snapscore. I need a barely there social standing lol. 

 

 

- need to remind myself to take meds. New med schedule this week. 

 

- start some Facebook group and start some blog work girl

 

 

- I'll be hunting for new job after 6 ¬months. Till then break and work on mental health. Therapy etc. 

 

- I have found a new friend. Great.. 

 

 

- I have the old patrik place where I can write some stuff

 

 

-  continue writing End of Days 

 

 

- write schedules strictly. 

 

- what about the ice packs and use the private journal as well. Preety Journal. Wink. 

 

 

- look into IFS therapy 

 

 

- look into DBT therapy for borderline 

 

 

- look for some productivity apps 

 

 

- book stuff after 10 days. 

 

- get your favorite perfumes girl. 

 

 

 

-  my sister won a promotion. So I'm glad. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

Next 

 

 

Things on the table -

 

[Reena]

 

============================

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

[Reena]

The rose in my sister's garden. Cute. 

 

 

Edited April 22, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

Hmm. 

Spirituality is a part of something. 

 

Growth lines. 

 

- food, success, relationships. Health 

 

 

-  spirituality, expansion of consciousness, enlightenment. Awakening. 

 

 

- love, peace, healing, growth, goodness, progress. 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

I sometimes think I'm a terrible person. I must be a headache. I am weird.. I don't act very womanly. 

But that's ok. 

I'm fine how I am. I fluctuate between masculinity and femininity. 

I'm a big bunny. I make mistakes. I act childish. 

I do whatever.

I want to be surrounded by people who are simple, who love to have a good time. 

Why can't we have fun without being judged? 

Why can't we be cool and not have to worry about anything at all? 

 

[Reena]

Whoa, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh
Whoa

I'm waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I'm breathing in the chemicals

I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive

I raise my flags, don my clothes
It's a revolution, I suppose
We'll paint it red to fit right in
Whoa

I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive

All systems go, the sun hasn't died
Deep in my bones, straight from inside

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive

[Reena]

My theory on spiritual systems. 

[Reena]

Why don't you become strong? 

Why don't you prove them wrong? 

Why don't you be yourself? 

Why don't you get back up? 

 

 

It's now or never.

 

 

Cmon girl you can do this. 

 

People will give up on you but you don't give up on yourself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 15, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

 

On 2/16/2023 at 1:15 AM, Cupcake said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(format 7 used) 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

 

This is a novel facet of consciousness that I have recently revealed to myself. Reality/consciousness is Absolutely Good, but simultaneously better than Absolute Good

 

 

 

 

These two aspects are equivalent and interchangeable but not reducable to either one, which is what generates an infinite loop of form getting better than void

The void is generic and the form concrete, and the concrete forms are all equally absolutely good, but some forms can be better than other forms.

Infinity plus one is not infinity but more than infinity, thus some forms are better than absolutely good, and this feedback loop is accelerating in time. It does not reduce back into infinity or Absolute Infinity but adds more to it.

 

 

    

 

Differentiation is as good as absolutely good, but it can be better than undifferentiation

So after reality being love and absolutely good, it is also lovemaking and euphoric

All void is euphoric, but some forms are more euphoric than other ones

Void is making love with form, this is the most beautiful thing that exists, and even more beautiful than that because of the self-definition to be better than better

Because of this suffering does not exist, pain is not real, and there is infinite bliss for forever

 

 

Edited May 15, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

 

One great thing I did this week is that I blocked a person who was going against the grain and detrimental to my life instead of investing my energy into fighting with them and letting them derail my progress. 

 

Good job girl. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 15, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

I'm trying to improve. 

 

 

I'm also trying to focus on art. 

Let's see where my new journey takes me. 

 

[Reena]

Sometimes you fight for your life. You fight for survival.