_Married to this forum_

[Reena]

I married this forum. Sort of. After being abandoned and treated like trash by another place. 

 

[Reena]

 

On 1/26/2023 at 7:09 AM, Cupcake said:

There isn't a specific theme for this journal. 

It will cover different aspects overall. 

 

On 1/26/2023 at 7:57 AM, Cupcake said:

 

 

 

On 1/26/2023 at 8:03 AM, Cupcake said:

I'm recently exploring the idea of good luck. 

 

 

On 1/26/2023 at 9:34 AM, Cupcake said:

This will be the format of my journaling henceforth. 

 

 

                    

 

 

                           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                              

 

 

 

 

                                  

 

 

 

          

 

 

          

 

 

                             

 

 

 

On 1/26/2023 at 10:27 AM, Cupcake said:

 

 

 

I need people with 7 qualities in my life. 

 

 

People who understand me

 

 

People who know how to trust me 

 

 

People who show me maturity 

 

 

People who are competent 

 

 

People who know to exactly handle me and the drama that is created 

 

 

People who are totally fair and not biased.

 

 

Healthy, honest, non judgemental, direct, confrontational and extremely loving, courageous, protective, matured, forgiving and extremely competent. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 1/26/2023 at 4:06 PM, Cupcake said:

 

I'm trying to make a list of fragrances that are really suitable for me. 

 

Lavender 

Cedarwood

Bergamot 

Peppermint 

Sandalwood 

Macadamia 

Almond 

Honey 

Lemongrass 

Beer

Nutty

Red velvet cake 

 

 

 

 

 

Update 1

I also had a ton of discomfort in my tummy yesterday. 

 

 

Update 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

On 1/27/2023 at 9:05 AM, Cupcake said:

I just woke up. 

Friday January 27.

I am gonna have tea and I don't know. 

 

I had cereals for breakfast. With honey. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now I'm watching TV and I'll be having lunch. A bit depressed. 

I bought a lipstick to feel better. 

I'm trying to forget Actualized.org forever and remove that place from my head. 

I feel secure and safe on this website. 

Slowly and gradually the poison of Actualized.org is leaving me. 

 

I was heavily traumatized there and I'm in therapy and recovering. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 1/27/2023 at 5:51 PM, Cupcake said:

I am investing a bit into cosmetics to feel better. 

I bought products from bath and body works. 

 

I had a fresh cold shower and I used this new gel. And it was pink in color and it was nice. Very effective at cleaning. 

 

And I used a new orange colored shampoo and it was really good too. Gave me a fresh feeling. 

I don't like the ones heavily loaded with chemicals. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 1/27/2023 at 7:41 PM, Cupcake said:

Leaving Actualized Org is the best decision I ever made.. 

 

On 1/28/2023 at 5:10 AM, Cupcake said:

Yesterday I purchased some baby shampoo because my hair has become very delicate. So the baby shampoo is kinda gentle. It also has a mild fragrance. All other shampoos are way too strong in their fragrance and I get a headache. 

So these baby shampoos are quite mild with a good smell. 

One of them I really liked. 

I never gonna purchase those high end shampoos with strong fragrance. 

I literally love the fragrance. 

 

 

On 1/28/2023 at 5:23 AM, Cupcake said:

I have to remember to empower myself. I don't know where the next leg of my journey is going to take me. I also need to import some of my entries. I have to live. I have to nurture myself. I learned some lessons. In fact I learned a lot of lessons. I feel like I am growing up really fast. This has always been the case. 

 

 

 

On 1/29/2023 at 3:33 AM, Cupcake said:

My life is infinitely better after dumping Actualized.org.

That place is a hell hole especially for those who struggle with emotional issues. 

It can take a toll on you. 

 

 

On 1/29/2023 at 7:52 AM, Cupcake said:

This is my new logo. 

 

Greetings Actuality of Being community. Thank you Phil and community for Welcoming me Cupcake 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 1/30/2023 at 6:46 AM, Cupcake said:

I'm trying to improve everyday 

And I'm only feeling better. 

 

 

On 1/30/2023 at 6:53 AM, Cupcake said:

I've also reduced my communication with people online. Now I just keep to myself. 

 

 

On 1/30/2023 at 7:03 AM, Cupcake said:

 

                                  

 

 

I'm very very happy right now. I'm getting my favorite stuff without worry. 

 

 

 

[Reena]

I'm doing fine. I don't have anything to worry. 

(never   bb me with personal stuff) 

 

 

 

Actualized.org is no more a part of my life. I had a bad experience there and I had planned long ago back in November/December that I would be out of that place some day somehow. Leo had been building too much pressure on me on a personal level. He had threatened to ban me on multiple times. So it was getting a bit not so comfy in that place for a long time. I'm glad that  somehow im no longer having to be there. And I'm free. I have zero purpose to answer any questions related to that place since it doesn't exist in my Self-o-phere anymore. 

I'd like to quote what Proserpina said about that place because that resonates with me as well. 

So I quote Proserpina - 

 

"I've decided to probably stick to using this public journal now.   I don't particular enjoy having Leo breathing down my neck, watching my every movement, fearing I'm going to be IP banned any moment like before.  It's painful.  Atleast here, I can breath easy and express my self in a relatively similar format (with some downsides).  It's like I was crucified for jaywalking.  I want to express myself freely,  I like to write free flowing what he deems 'verbal diarreah'.  My disability, what I have had no choice in having had to live with, is called unhinged by him.

 

I already feel infinitely better here.  I don't even care if anyone even reads my journal as long as I psychologically know it's public then that makes the difference in how I write and formulate my thoughts.   I put more effort into my thoughts and writings.  I need a place without Leo breathing down my neck but not a discord.   Discord formats don't work for me for some reason. "

 

I couldn't have expressed it better than Proserpina. 

Yes you can't develop or grow in a place where you feel constant fear running down your neck. 

 

It's unhealthy. Period. 

 

[Reena]

 

On 1/30/2023 at 12:36 PM, Cupcake said:

I hate how in every situation it's the mentally ill people who are blamed and people who are normal take no responsibility at all. 

 

 

On 1/30/2023 at 1:13 PM, Cupcake said:

I'm already in therapy.. And I'm always facing difficulties being too close to people online so I kinda avoid that, I can get hyper nervous because I have social anxiety. I have to be around people who already know me in real life since many years, someone who I can actually sit down to lunch with. 

 

 

 

On 1/30/2023 at 4:40 PM, Cupcake said:

The Kalahari desert is my inspiration. 

 

I'd love to live in this room lol. 

 

 

 

 

The breeze is growing stronger. 

 

 

 

 

How to remove heavy metals  from the body. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

On 1/31/2023 at 4:31 PM, Cupcake said:

I'm looking forward to my own journey. 

 

 

 

I should create sections in my journal - I'll create a new section called "artist appreciation section." 

 

The new face/person/artist I'm appreciating at the moment is known as Lauren Diagle. 

I'm appreciating new people everyday. 

 

Discovering and meeting new people everyday is an honor. 

 

 

 

 

 

I came across this makeup artist recently and I absolutely love her makeup. 

 

 

 

//

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The new music I discovered today. 

 

https://youtu.be/lZ3N0FCeS8s

 

 

 

 

On 1/31/2023 at 7:56 PM, Cupcake said:

I need a shaman, a special kind of a shaman. 

 

 

On 2/1/2023 at 2:33 AM, Cupcake said:

If you don't invest into your own growth and empowerment, it's only you who loses. 

 

 

On 2/1/2023 at 2:54 AM, Cupcake said:

 

I reject the idea that a loving God would condone or enable child rape. This belief is deeply disturbing and incompatible with my values and personal beliefs.

I recognize that I may have previously held notions of God that were not fully understood or verified by me. I take responsibility for not guarding my mental faculties properly and not fully examining my beliefs.

I now choose to embrace skepticism and rational empiricism, and return to atheism as my default position - but in a non-dogmatic manner. As an atheist, I can subjectively choose to call child rape as evil, based on my own logical definition and values. This allows me to ascribe meaning to my reality as a humanist without resorting to twisted and illogical notions of love.

I recognize that love is a human virtue, and I strive to embody it through expansive, loving and kind thoughts and actions that benefit other humans and animals. Atheism also gives me the freedom to be myself, own my needs and goals, and choose to do good spontaneously.

I understand that life is best played in a collaborative, non-zero-sum manner, and I will strive to enrich and empower others through careful logical considerations and my own authentic heartfelt moral compass.

Furthermore, I am open to exploring and understanding consciousness through meditation, kriya yoga, and psychedelics, as I believe this will help me to become a more compassionate and empathetic person.

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

I like this post

 

 

 

 

I reject the idea that a loving God would condone or enable child rape. This belief is deeply disturbing and incompatible with my values and personal beliefs.

I recognize that I may have previously held notions of God that were not fully understood or verified by me. I take responsibility for not guarding my mental faculties properly and not fully examining my beliefs.

I now choose to embrace skepticism and rational empiricism, and return to atheism as my default position - but in a non-dogmatic manner. As an atheist, I can subjectively choose to call child rape as evil, based on my own logical definition and values. This allows me to ascribe meaning to my reality as a humanist without resorting to twisted and illogical notions of love.

I recognize that love is a human virtue, and I strive to embody it through expansive, loving and kind thoughts and actions that benefit other humans and animals. Atheism also gives me the freedom to be myself, own my needs and goals, and choose to do good spontaneously.

I understand that life is best played in a collaborative, non-zero-sum manner, and I will strive to enrich and empower others through careful logical considerations and my own authentic heartfelt moral compass.

Furthermore, I am open to exploring and understanding consciousness through meditation, kriya yoga, and psychedelics, as I believe this will help me to become a more compassionate and empathetic person.

[Reena]

 

True words. 

 

 

 

 

The imbalanced Masculine with the Feminine in their shadow and without integration of Marriage (human and Divine) wants to double-down with a manipulative iron fist and control their way through life using concepts (intellect) and force.  This creates a hellscape for them and for those they relate to -- It's an inverted vortex.  Gaslighting is used to try to control the karmic blowback that happens when you’re unbalanced and where reality is trying to get you to do some self-improvement but you refuse the call of that Hero's Journey.  Flying monkeys are enticed by being rewarded with power and egoic perks to keep the inverted vortex in place.  Think of it as a smaller system that must maintain its own survival by building up defenses or it will be destroyed by the wider system.  Reality is a teacher and will keep knocking you on your forehead and sweeping the floor up from under your feet when you're not learning and growing (and integrating).  Those lessons just accumulate and you almost have to dive into a pond to avoid the incoming bees eventually breathing through a straw to survive.  But that's hell, that's not  a happy life at all.  My advice is to stay away from toxic people.  If they're like a worm in your mind, you gotta surgically remove that worm.  It's just not worth the hell that it brings your life.  I like the word "emptying work" for this -- it's letting go.  I stopped watching the news or looking at news websites for the exact same reason.  It's a hellscape inverted vortex too.  Don't let anyone or anything rob you of your heaven and happiness and peace.

 

 

 

[Reena]

. 

On 2/1/2023 at 3:03 AM, Cupcake said:

I never felt like Leo respected me so of course I'm going to vent. 

All he did was just gaslight 

Some person here is also a mod on Actualized. Why should I be engaging with you and believe that it's not too inconvenient for you to state anything at all being a mod on Actualized, that no bias is operating behind your statements. 

 

 

 

On 2/1/2023 at 3:26 AM, Cupcake said:

Leo will continue with his egotism narcissism journey with his falsehood and his facade of maintaining that he is this God being when deep down he is a narcissist. 

Nothing will change anything about him and Actualized.org will finally and eventually devolve as per my predictions I made long ago. Leo won't be able to hold his ego in and that will be the end of it. Sad to see because he also has a lot of potential and the forum itself had a lot of potential but that will go to shit because of his manipulative ego games that will cause further disintegration, loss of interest and gradual losing trust as the true face of sneaky Ego Gura keeps peeking out of charade and facade of the good guy image, and people will have a glimpse of his hate, disdain, ego games and selfishness. That's when people will begin to leave not wanting to be impacted by his gigantic narcissism or the constant threatening demeanor he has around people. 

Like everything else that gets ruined by people, Actualized.org will suffer a demise because of his own ego not able to handle himself. His boredom and lack of self control taking over. 

Yea because everything he ever did began in selfishness so it would end in selfishness too, just like for every narcissist who deluded himself into believing that he was creating a heaven, only to realize that he is too bored of it and doesn't need the heaven anymore. 

Leo is addicted to his own forum and one day Leo will no longer be wanting to be there and like how a narcissist eventually chucks out his beautiful trophy girlfriend out of boredom, Leo will do the same to his own creation and ruin it gradually. 

Throughout the gradual decline of Actualized.org the only words that will stick true are these - 

I saw it too but I think it's just the same old manipulation to seem "reasonable, self-aware and mature" after a mask-off meltdown.

 

Not the first time. Nothing is gonna change.

 

 

 

True. Nothing is gonna change. Not the first time. Not the last time. There will always be more manipulation, more masking, more facades, more strategies and in the end boredom and lack of empathy. Just more manipulations to seem self aware, reasonable, mature and more ego games followed by zero intentions to actually serve other's purpose. Selfishness, egotism and narcissism is its own downfall. 

 

 

 

My final closure on the saga of Actualized.org. 

 

I'll just be an observant of Actualized.org and focus on the future stages of my journey here onwards..

 

 

On 2/1/2023 at 3:38 AM, Cupcake said:

I've to remember these words - 

 

If they're like a worm in your mind, you gotta surgically remove that worm.  It's just not worth the hell that it brings your life.  I like the word "emptying work" for this -- it's letting go. 

 

 

 

 

On 2/1/2023 at 6:56 AM, Cupcake said:

I was tired from typing that I slept off. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 2/1/2023 at 8:10 AM, Cupcake said:

Maybe a shaman who understands me. 

 

I want the following qualities in a shaman. 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

Leo is so lacking in integrity that at this point after everything I saw go down, I don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth as truth. It feels like every word out of his mouth is a lie just to maintain his image. Narcissism is self deception and deceiving others. Finally narcissism boils down to lack of integrity because that's the condition it creates. To me he is the most unethical person in the room, preaching others in a hypocritical sense, meanwhile completely ignoring the elephant in the room, his own selfish ego. 

It's just vapid lack of integrity masked as health of the forum. 

 

First he damages his own image and then sits down repairing it. But he can never let go of his addictions and obsessions.. This is his pattern. You'll witness more damage control in the future, obviously none of it aimed at actual inner change,just outer facades as usual. Leo has shown terrible lack of sensitivity, judgement, character, morality, integrity to suffice his own selfish motives. 

(My final comment on this thread,because I don't have much time)

My final judgment on Leo is this - 

Lack of integrity cannot take you far, it will eventually destroy everything you create like a termite corroding furniture. Everything you see going down was a gradual consequence of your own lack of integrity, your own choices you made. Goodluck. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                Peace 

                            

[Reena]

 

I'm just obsessed with this music

 

[Reena]

 

On 2/2/2023 at 1:46 PM, Cupcake said:

Don't let someone's bias take over you. Don't let someone defeat you. 

You have to be there and win. 

 

 

 

 

On 2/2/2023 at 1:46 PM, Cupcake said:

Believe first in yourself. Learn to win rather than lose.

 

 

On 2/2/2023 at 1:48 PM, Cupcake said:

 

Be careful about who you bring into your life in whatever manner.

 

[Reena]

 

On 2/2/2023 at 6:23 PM, Cupcake said:

 

This is how spiritual folks are - 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 2/2/2023 at 6:44 PM, Cupcake said:

 

This is how spiritual folks are - 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 2/2/2023 at 6:54 PM, Cupcake said:

This is how spiritual folks are - 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 2/2/2023 at 7:32 PM, Cupcake said:

This is how spiritual folks are - 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

Leo Gura is an arrogant, callous, narcissistic con artist fake guru trolling people into paying him for fake awakening. I pity and feel sorry for people who pay him regularly for his content.. He is purposely outlandish and a cult leader. 

I'm not the only one observing this. Others are saying the same thing. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Much of his early content was just a mashup of all the stuff he had already read in books. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leo has a dark energy and he instills fear in people and exerts control. He is extremely manipulative. 

You will only see it when you get too close to him and get burned by his negativity. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 12, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

 

This is what people say about Leo Gura. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reena]

 

I feel horribly exploited by Leo Gura and I'm not afraid to say it.

 

One day people will visit this page of my journal and realize that I was telling the truth. That Leo engages in deep narcissistic abuse of his followers and much of it goes unnoticed. He will leave a trail of victims. People who will be left suicidal, psychologically damaged and the day he will be totally exposed will be the day people will visit this page to read these words and realize the truth of these words. 

People will see Leo for who he is. 

I always trusted him. Until I saw his real face and the mask fell off. 

 

That's when I saw Leo Gura without the mask.

 

 

 

Leo Gura the fake guru. The man who leeches off vulnerable people.

 

Leo Gura is not a good person. He is manipulative and  psychologically abusive. One day he will be paying the price for all the suffering he has caused to people in the name of teachings. 

I have no empathy for him. Because he is bastardizing spirituality. He is bastardizing God. Actualized.org will go down some day. And it needs to. Leo's ego will be slapped in his own face. He thinks he is winning. 

 

He will never win. 

He is going deeper and deeper into his delusion. He will destroy many people before peace is found. This is how it has always been for narcissistic abusers historically. This is the law of karma. 

 

 

My battle is on. I'm slowly removing the poison from my system

 

 

My new life begins after forgetting Actualized.org.. It's left behind. All the trauma. 

The trauma is slowly draining from my body. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Without victory there is no survival. 

 

Even the forest has eyes. 

 

 

 

Edited February 12, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

 

So I came across this and I'm glad I came across it. 

 

 

Thanks for checking out this petition.

In todays world, we live in a whole new era, the digital era, where boundaries doesn't exist and it's easier than ever, to be influenced by other people online, without knowing their real purpose and intentions of their online presence. 

I and a lot of other people online, are starting to open our eyes for a massive manipulative cult online, which goes under the name of "Actualized.org" on YouTube and also has a website with the same name. This massive community online, is run by Leo Gura.

He started out as a personal development guru, to teach people how to get their basic stuff in order such as finances, confidence, depression, meditation, thinking strategically and how to become a success etc. Slowly over time, Leo Gura has taken Actualized.org to a completely new and dangerous level, with people contemplating and even trying to end their lives, due to the distorted teachings he is teaching. 

These teachings is very focused upon that nothing is real, no friends, family, pets, buildings, no material objects are real, only consciousness is. 

More and more people are getting into deep depression, anxiety, despair, solipsism and suicidal states of mind, due to these dangerous teachings from Leo Gura.

There is no form of security or precautions to his teachings, it is widely available for all ages online, it doesn't matter if you're 8 years old or 92, everybody has access to these teachings, but they are unfortunately not aligned or proven to be right, by any other source than Leo Gura himself. 

On his forum Actualized.org or in his YouTube comments, you can often see people trying to give their point of view on his teachings, but Leo always bashes the person asking for advice, with "It's your ego" "You don't understand, it's your ego".. It is always your ego. This entire thing leads to exceptional levels of gaslighting, narcissism and psychopathy. 

This petition is all about removing Leo Guras presence from the Internet, as we are many people who believe that he is a dangerous man, who is creating a dangerous cult and destroying the psychology and happiness of thousands and maybe even millions of people online. 

You can find a lot of proof online of people reporting the following symptoms, due to his teachings:

* Anxiety (+ Anxiety / Panic attacks)

* Depression & Despair

* Suicidal states of mind

* Solipsism

* Deep confusion and mistrust of the world

This is not healthy, and this has even been reported by profiles online who are under the age of 13!

Let's together end this dark corner of the Internet, which is Actualized.org, run by Leo Gura. This petition will be showcasing how many of us are against the teachings of Actualized.org and will be sent to Google, who is the owner of YouTube. Please sign the petition and share with everybody you know online!

I will be doing more research on how to get Actualized.org removed from YouTube, but in the meantime, please sign the petition.

Thank you so much for reading this far!

Let's create a healthy internet together, with focus on positive mental health 🙂

/// IF YOU ARE FEELING UNSTABLE DUE TO HIS TEACHINGS, PLEASE REACH OUT TO A CERTIFIED PSYCHIATRIST OR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING CONTACTS///

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 12, 2023 by Cupcake

[Reena]

Nice one. 

https://www.nothingcon.com/

 

[Reena]

 

 

I went through an exact same experience as Proserpina. Another victim of Leo's narcissism and toxicity. 

 

I felt exactly the way she wrote - 

 

 

I believe my schizoaffective disorder was hugely triggered by following Leo Gura.  I said earlier on actualized.org that Leo Gura sent me to the mental hospital.  It was his psychological manipulation, brainwashing, the hypnotism, thinking he was special, the 'one' to help me and then the psychological and verbal abuse, the discard,  thrown out like trash at my most vulnerable.  When my mother died all the symptoms became much worse and I began hallucinating and everything took on a theme of 'death'.  He calls that 'immaturity'.  I call it grief and suffering.  He uses people's disabilities and weaknesses against them during times when they need love the most.   He can't hurt me anymore as I have too many support systems in place and I've experienced it all before.  I've ready to accept that I was brainwashed and hypnotised into thinking he and his community were the 'one'.  I'm ready to move on.   I'm ready to heal.  

 

[Reena]

 

On 2/2/2023 at 9:58 PM, Cupcake said:

What improvements I've to make in my life? 

 

On 2/3/2023 at 1:01 AM, Cupcake said:

I'm so tired and sleepy. I wish I could sleep in the arms of an angel. 

 

 

On 2/4/2023 at 2:57 PM, Cupcake said:

I think love is understanding and harmony. And with understanding and harmony, there's trust also 

 

 

 

On 2/5/2023 at 5:55 PM, Cupcake said:

I'm feeling weak. 

 

 

On 2/8/2023 at 7:09 AM, Cupcake said:

If everyone lives their own lives and stop bothering about other's business, then we won't have a single problem in this world. 

 

 

 

        .      

Edited February 12, 2023 by Cupcake