Journal question

[noomii]

I write a lot more when journaling knowing others read it and I get a lot more insights when doing it.
When I journal for myself I usually write the same things almost all the time and a lot shorter.
My favourite is "I don't know what to do, I feel doubt".

Usually it ends with me writing what I want.

I just write effortlessly what feels most alive in me in the moment but it's kinda like an echo and I stop writing when it feels like effort. I don't journal as often as I'd like to because of this.

Is the only way to change the content in my journal to let the emotions go or use emotional scale? I could use effort writing differently, but I would like it to feel effortless and intuitive.
 

Edited November 12, 2022 by noomii

[Mandy]

@noomii Are you asking how you can journal on your own the same way you do for others? 

[noomii]

On 11/15/2022 at 12:26 PM, Mandy said:

@noomii Are you asking how you can journal on your own the same way you do for others? 

I want to release doubt so that I can express myself in writing more freely. I feel blocked. Repeating the same thoughts and not much comes up even though I want to express more.

I would write more if I wasn't feeling fatigue too.

Clearly I need to pay more attention to what I feel when I journal.

I've thought there's something wrong with the way I write, but the way I write now feels like the easiest way for me.

[Phil]

On 11/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, noomii said:

I write a lot more when journaling knowing others read it and I get a lot more insights when doing it.

Selflessness is Great. 

“Others” is a bit cumbersome. 

 

On 11/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, noomii said:

When I journal for myself I usually write the same things almost all the time and a lot shorter.

Journal about how the I and the myself are the same entity. 

 

On 11/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, noomii said:

My favourite is "I don't know what to do, I feel doubt".

Is this your favorite based on how it feels? 

In what way is this your favorite? 

Be willing to feel pessimism & boredom. Express them. 

Also be willing to notice that the activity of thinking is, in a way, a doing, a pastime. It’s a facade of doing which includes a facade of time, but it’s focus ‘spent’ on pointless thinking instead of focus or time spent with any activity… other than thinking. 

 

On 11/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, noomii said:

Usually it ends with me writing what I want.

Put that on the dreamboard. 

Then receive it. (Vs thinking about it). 

Do whatever you love. 

 

On 11/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, noomii said:

I just write effortlessly what feels most alive in me in the moment but it's kinda like an echo and I stop writing when it feels like effort. I don't journal as often as I'd like to because of this.

Write about what the feeling of effort literally actually is. 

Get to the very bottom of that. 

 

On 11/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, noomii said:

Is the only way to change the content in my journal to let the emotions go or use emotional scale?

There are infinite ways. That one’s simple, effective, connective & entirely related to what you actually want. 

Thoughts are ‘let go’, emotions are guidance. 

 

On 11/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, noomii said:

I could use effort writing differently, but I would like it to feel effortless and intuitive.

Maybe that’s already the case… and there is a thought narration to the contrary.

 

Allow the mind to clear, everyday. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/meditations

[noomii]

 

On 11/17/2022 at 4:01 PM, Phil said:

Is this your favorite based on how it feels? 

In what way is this your favorite? 

Be willing to feel pessimism & boredom. Express them. 

Also be willing to notice that the activity of thinking is, in a way, a doing, a pastime. It’s a facade of doing which includes a facade of time, but it’s focus ‘spent’ on pointless thinking instead of focus or time spent with any activity… other than thinking. 

Sorry I was sarcastic lol. I don't like doubt. But it feels okay when it's allowed. 🙂

 

On 11/17/2022 at 4:01 PM, Phil said:

Write about what the feeling of effort literally actually is. 

Get to the very bottom of that. 

Atleast one part of it are discordant thoughts that feel heavy and it gets in the way of everything I'm doing.

 

On 11/17/2022 at 4:01 PM, Phil said:

Allow the mind to clear, everyday. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/meditations

 

I don't feel relief from meditation or whatever it is I'm doing.

[Blessed2]

23 minutes ago, noomii said:

I don't feel relief from meditation or whatever it is I'm doing.

 

Reframe "meditation" as "rest".

 

Have you been resting and relaxing? Or constantly worrying, thinking, trying to figure it out? Has meditation too, been figuring out and trying to get somewhere?

 

You are allowed to rest. You need rest. It's the very foundation.

 

Conditioning may say otherwise, that you shouldn't be "lazy", that you should work and strive and figure out and try to get somewhere.

 

Don't meditate. Don't sit down in an uncomofrtable formal lotus pose. Just lay down or sit on a couch or something. Rest. Breathe. Leave all work and striving and doing and getting somewhere behind. Even the spiritual stuff. Just sink into rest. Relax. Chill out. Like a nap.

Edited November 22, 2022 by Blessed2

[Phil]

2 hours ago, noomii said:

Atleast one part of it are discordant thoughts that feel heavy and it gets in the way of everything I'm doing.

Move your hands & fingers around… while looking for / inspecting for ‘a doer’ and or ‘doing’. 

Do you see that is a thought narrative, about perception & sensation?

Thoughts about what’s seen or simply, seeing… thoughts about what’s felt, or simply, sensations? 

Was there ever a doer doing… or could there be or not, only right now… thoughts about?

[Phil]

On 11/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, noomii said:

I just write effortlessly what feels most alive in me in the moment but it's kinda like an echo and I stop writing when it feels like effort

That ‘echo’ might be more of a discordant thought loop felt. 

Maybe all writing, doing, etc is already pure effortless spontaneity ….

and sometimes there are thoughts believed about a ‘doer’ … thoughts which feel discordant… to more of an infinite magician, feeling… than a ‘separate self’… a “doer”. 

[nurthur11]

3 hours ago, Phil said:

That ‘echo’ might be more of a discordant thought loop felt. 

Maybe all writing, doing, etc is already pure effortless spontaneity ….

and sometimes there are thoughts believed about a ‘doer’ … thoughts which feel discordant… to more of an infinite magician, feeling… than a ‘separate self’… a “doer”. 

This is hard to realize. Do you understand?

 

Though I am starting to get it. Super useful insight! Wp! Very good way of explaining it.