Celestial

@Phil No offence taken 🫠, I really want to understand this stuff. Is it enough to just 'be' with the feeling of embarrassment and shame without inwardly acknowledging that it is specifically shame and embarrassment that is felt? Maybe what I'm getting at is why is it important to acknowledge the specific emotion as opposed to simply just be with the feeling. If shame shows up, and I acknowledge it, what then does it mean to receive the guidance? Like, if I'm at work and I start experience triggering, and I recognise that what I'm feeling is Insecurity (and I just feel and 'be' with the Insecurity), is that enough? I hope I'm being clear enough.

@Phil It seems during the experience of triggering, it is harder to know the exact emotion, there's just a very prominent feeling off offness and aversion/escaping from the feeling. I will try to feel the emotions more fully though. Is there any difference between feeling and accepting the emotions versus feeling and accepting the sensations? Tad confused about that. Also is acknowledging an emotion the same as feeling/ accepting it? Recently this has been the sort of "meditation technique" that I've been resonating with. I'm beginning to see that it's all about fully feeling and 'being with' the emotions that are normally resisted and neglected/avoided. Will need to re-read everything you wrote to let it sink in more but thank you it is all appreciated.

@Phil I can see that conceptually, but some thoughts and circumstances/perspectives just seem to cause the nervous system to get agitated/stressed and then there's a resistance reaction to not want to feel these sorts of feelings and then maybe narratives that arise that possibly exacerbate the whole situation. It is possible to live without getting triggered? It very much seems to be mostly about "social" stuff, Insecurity, shame, embarrassment etc. Wanting to be viewed a certain way, fear of being vulnerable and honest. I mean, I haven't even told my friends really ever or anyone at work for that matter that I'm interested in non-duality. I know I just wrote out a story but it's been on my mind somewhat.

The fragility of the mind is astonishing, everything can be all good and all that has to happen is one person says something that is triggering and then I can experience triggering for the next 20 minutes or more. This can't be the right way to live, I notice how I tend to get sucked into "negative" thinking, and whenever this happens there is a sort of this 'leaving' the present aspect, overlooking the moment.

Wrote a bunch of new stuff on the dreamboard, feels good to think about. Wrote "picking mushrooms" or something similar. Went picking with my Mum and found a grand total of two. Lol, guess I should've been more specific. Wrote some new stuff that I'd like to experience and I'm keen to see the things pop up. Earlier I had this weird feeling that I've woken up from life before, but I couldn't put my finger on why I felt that or what exactly the feeling was but it felt very interesting and beautiful really. Honestly wouldn't mind getting blown open 'Nirvana'. To be sent into utter freefall into life. Not that I'm not into life now but life without the mind's constant bullshit.

Want to witness comedy with regards to everyday interactions, more of a lightheartedness energy around people. Want to experience what this awakening stuff is all about, not conceptually but actually .

Leading up to and including during the upcoming 10 day retreat I want to allow more fully everything in experience. I want to feel, acknowledge and accept the things that I normally don't want to feel. I want to feel and accept the sensations that I habitually shy away from. I want to feel and really acknowledge the sensations that the body habitually tenses up and contracts when in contact with. I want to allow everything to be as it is. Truly, to be able to be with "difficult" emotions and to be able to have equanimity with suffering. The goal at least right now, would be, to be able to move around the world, communicate authentically and openly with people, to be able to accept and love myself and to be who I am. I want to move around and interact with the world as peace. Effortless allowing of life, as it is.

I think a video on trauma- what it is, if it's stored in the body (how to go about releasing it) and how to heal from it in general would be really good. Maybe also, contraction and reaction in social situations and in daily life.

Contentment is felt with regard to all of the seeming dramas and worries, being at peace with what was previously judged and resisted. Although not perfect but recently much better. Hopefulness is felt about the upcoming retreat and how it will be full of healing, clarity and peace. Hopefulness is also felt regarding general life and the outcomes of every situation. It is always realised that all of the "problems" in life aren't really seen as massive issues from the perspective of hindsight. Therefore, there's hopefulness experienced for the future as it is exciting as I'm not sure where its headed. There is optimism felt with regard to the upcoming retreat especially. Everytime i think about it, I start to feel excitement and I really enjoy that feeling of brining it to mind. Happiness if felt whenever I think about my family and also I feel happiness whenever I accept certain things that used to annoy me, things that its not worth getting hung up on. If I just accept and allow, happiness is felt and also appreciation. Almost as if they're synonymous. Happiness is felt with regard to people. Everyone's just doin they're own thing and that's awesome. If everyone is allowed to be how they are, then I feel happiness. If I allow experience to be how it is during meditation then this sort of peace and happiness begins to bubble up into experience and I love that. Even writing about happiness now is making me feel empowered and eager for more. Passion is felt with regard to the spiritual path and the blossoming of full peace. Passion is felt with wanting to be a positive force in this world and to start doing things for others. It feels really good to help people and to just be something that radiates happiness. I want to become this beacon of positive energy and peace. Love is felt when I bring to mind my life and everything that I have ever experienced. Love is felt when I think about my current path, and everyone in my life. Even people that trigger me I have the capacity to deeply love. Its only up to me. I can choose to resist or I can choose to love and to allow. Love is felt when the non act of allowing everything comes to mind. 🖤🖤🖤

Just did a 25 min sit and it made me extremely excited for the upcoming retreat and I also realised I was being kind of dogmatic about meditation, believing I needed the most "pure" technique or the technique that I heard someone that I look up to say is good. I overlooked simply meditating the way that resonates with me in the moment.

Interesting how I can avoid meditating for a few days or only meditate a little bit, feel bad about not meditating, choose to meditate and feel the relief of just sitting in silence and then do it all over again. It's like part of me knows that meditation is the best thing ever and another part of me just wants to avoid the silence and stillness. So much easier to just be on technology all day. Really looking forward to the 10 day retreat in august so I can thrust myself into healing and stillness for 10 whole days without any distractions. It's like, I know if I don't meditate, I'll be ruminating about wanting to meditate which is actually an activity that is preventing me from meditating because I'm focusing on not meditating. I really wish there was this button I could click and it would slowly and gently lead to deep peace. I have ideas about what living from peace is like though. Like I'm not sure if it's possible to completely eliminate suffering. Sometimes when I hear people talking about their awakening experiences I experience doubt because I'm just not sure if I could experience something similar, it feels like I'm too invested in being a human and all of the things that come with that like work, relationships, family, societal norms etc. I can see how this is all just thought but I guess this is where I'm at.

Having doubts about friendships and alcohol. On one hand, drinking and getting drunk is fun but on the other hand, I would like to avoid the toxicity and the hangovers of alcohol. And I would much rather be able to FULLY enjoy myself while out socialising while being sober. I also feel a bit weird for choosing not to drink sometimes. Why does the one activity that most people do have to be toxic to the body? Currently confused and experiencing a little bit of emotional turmoil. Could be related to a long TRE session I did the other night. Brings stuff up to the surface I guess. Will go for a run soon and I'm sure I'll feel better after, but I'm after freedom, not just feeling better.

Did a 5km run earlier, straight into TRE when I got home. Felt good but there was still this overarching feeling of resistance present. Like something was preventing me from feeling free. Think I'm taking things too seriously. Been really enjoying running lately though. Sometimes ill be going through a hard stretch during the run and the next minute it'll feel mostly effortless, like I'm in the zone. It feels really good. It also feels really good how much easier running feels and how quickly the body adapts to being able to run longer and faster.

Experienced Insecurity today because I was comparing myself to others and also judging myself. Could feel the nervous system flaring up. Took probably 5-10 minutes to return to a state of calm. Not too sure why but I just felt like expressing that as it was pretty uncomfortable. But it doesn't happen as much as it used to so I'm grateful for that and it's always a good time to inspect the thoughts when agitation occurs. Very obvious that it is my perspectives and beliefs that feel discordant.

🧐🤷‍♂️ don't know what to say. 🙏 this is helpful.

Experiencing doubt regarding the spiritual journey and how to use certain tools. Experiencing doubt regarding the guidance scale. Struggling to feel disappointment Feeling overwhelmed with the amount of content and different paths in life. Feeling overwhelmed with not knowing what to do or not knowing what actually is resonating with me and not with the conditioning that I've adopted. Feeling overwhelmed with constantly needing to prove myself or to appear a certain way to others. Feeling frustration with not knowing how to ask the right questions. Feeling frustration regarding inflation and how much the cost of living is while the wages haven't matched this increase. Feeling frustration regarding thoughts and rumination. Feeling frustration that my Dad is living in a nursing home, shouldve had way more time to spend with him while he was healthy. Feeling pessimism with life and people. Experiencing boredom with all of the seemingly pointless resistances i have to life and to expressing properly. Feeling frustration with the scale and not knowing if I'm doing it correctly, not knowing if its about the feeling or the expressing. Feeling contentment with the birds outside, with their bird calls. Feeling content with the weather and the trees. Feeling hopefulness regarding the universe, the direction of humanity. Feeling optimism about today and the peace of sleep tonight. Feeling optimism about reading ask & it is given and the messages contained in the book. Feeling eager about the upcoming retreat and how it will go. Feel like it will be very fruitful and potentially life changing. Eager to feel everything that comes up while on retreat. Feeling passion about food and health. Experiencing passion regarding running, meditation and the roller-coaster of life. Doesn't feel like I'm able to feel real joy right now.

@Phil I think the question above might be an attempt to gain some sort of conceptual knowledge so you don't have to respond to it. I'm not sure honestly.

🤔 Yes, but I'm inclined to ask, if emotions and thoughts are simply felt by me, and not actually how I feel, then what does the "me" actually feel like, without emotion or thoughts. Or is it the same identical to experiencing the top of the scale? If that makes any sense...

100% welcomed and appreciated. Appreciate that 🙏. Sometimes I tend to zoom in and ruminate. How would you go about not 'faking' the scale and instead, fully feeling each emotion? I'm a bit confused as to how to feel frustration for example, and then to switch to feeling pessimism etc. It seemed like I was just trying to bring thoughts to mind that correlated with the corresponding emotion that was higher on the scale. Is that a typo or deliberate? I'm curious 😅.

I want to feel and be peace in every moment. I want to experience the forgiveness of the universe. I want to cry tears of absolute joy and thankfulness. I want to feel completely aligned. I want the guidance to become clearer. I want to feel the guidance more fully. I want to transmute all suffering into absolute joy. I want to experience mind-blowing synchronicities.

Experiencing mental rumination, pretty uncomfortable. I'm hopeful it won't last though and I'm accepting it right now

Always find different ways to distract myself. Feeling frustrated regarding shoes of all things to worry about.

I'm no expert but I've been vegetarian/vegan for about 3 years. Have you seen a doctor to get a general blood test done to see if you have any vitamin/mineral deficiencies? I also found getting a blood test done provided me with some peace of mind. Are you supplementing anything like B12, Omega 3's, Vitamin D etc? Are you eating many legumes, whole grains, nuts and seeds (especially ground flax). ? Check out the protein content of beans. Personally, the loophole shake helps me out a lot because it covers a lot of micronutrients + it provides protein, I'm glad it exists. I challenge you to eat a big bowl of porridge with berries, walnuts, ground flax, chia seeds without being satisfied.