Someone here

i think you are right. Being nice to him is not gonna work or make him change his behaviour. But I don't want to confront his toxicity with more toxicity. Why can't he just change his personality? Why it has to be ME that needs to take action and not him? Telling him to fuck off will backfire and he might force me to leave the house and become homeless. So I don't want to make him extremely angry at me .because to be honest ..I fear him and what he can do to me .he is a thug .he might physically hurt me . Thanks for the great advice and support. I agree that Cutting the truly toxic people out of my life can be not healthy sometimes .but I have a bit of a problem with that mentality taken to an extreme. I don’t want to be a hermit. Relationships take work and a couple of problems here and there is normal and expected. I don’t think it’s reasonable or healthy to just finish every relationship I have where there’s the slightest problem. Anyway just my two cents. I thought of simple living as maybe just being more detached and not allowing the emotions to get to me in the first place, rather than acting on those emotions by cutting people out of my life right away. The guy is a thug .he is a dickhead .If I show him love and unconditional acceptance for his behaviour he will take this as a chance to climb over me even more intensely. I understand that fire cannot be got ridden of by more fire (we need water ) but why do I have to be the one who switches his mentality when it's he that needs to change, not me ?

Yeah He seem to have more responsibilities than me .but that's not an excuse to be a jerk to me . I'm stuck between two choices. .either I should reduce my interactions with him to a minimum or stand his bullshit/toxicity until I become financially independent. But there is a problem either way : like if you're talking to someone and they break your rules/boundaries then you can just say you don't like that and you're not going to continue the conversation and then just shut up or leave. it's really that simple. I can't control other people but i can control how i respond. there are certain things i don't tolerate and if he does them then i just get up and walk away. i'm sure it's very kid-dependent on how effective this is, but he always gets upset and runs after me and i explain that i didn't like that and if he wants to hang out with me then he can't do that to me. it's usually not very effective . i forgive and move on quickly but he continues his toxic behaviour the next day as if nothing ever changed since our last fight /oath that we will be nice to each other from now on . I'm not sure about that . I really don't give a shit about him anymore .if I could transition to another house and be independent I would do it ASAP and not ask about him or call him even once .

Because im a university student. I don't have a job (yet ) .while he does .and he pays the bills.

Recently when we start a fight.. I smile, nod, and speak very slowly and kindly to him .while he keeps screaming. He made me his bitch ngl . If he does something I do not like I say "I do not appreciate that and will not be involved with that tone/behavior/attitude etc." Although I'm very social person and i like talking to people. I like 99% of the people I meet. You really have to be a complete fuckass to get on my shit list, and if you're in mine odds are you're on everyone else's as well. Sometimes it's hard, specially with family members or close friends, but that's the way. Antagonising with them does not worth it. They will only hear their arguments, and when you are speaking, they will be thinking, not listening. How can I set healthy boundaries between me and him? I'm literally forced to deal with his nonsense every single day. If I told him "don't talk to me ever again unless it's something important "..he yells at me and doesn't respect my descsion and continues his toxic behaviour with me .

My big brother is a very toxic person .and our relationship with each other is completely neurotic and fucked up . he rarely ever truly takes responsibility for his negative actions (rarely apologize, almost always see himself the victim and everything/everyone else as the villains, blames others when something bad happens, etc.). he very quickly resort to anger, aggression, and violence (even at extreme levels) when something bad happens or he don't get what they want. he doesn't really do anything for anyone else..he mostly only care about himself. He hates having responsibilities (being financially responsible, cooking and cleaning, handling adult responsibilities on his own, etc.). he is naturally drawn to drama and start drama himself. He is not charitable..most acts of service he does to eventually get what he want from the person he helps. he have a toxic pessimistic mindset. Whenever im are around him or hang out with him, i find my energy levels quickly drop. i find myself having to "walk on eggshells" around him to make sure that nothing gets himin a bad mood .I must always be perfect, but he doesn’t have to be at all he keeps complaining about how bad things are for him while ignoring all the things he is doing that are causing those bad things to happen . He is blatantly hypocritical (ex. I hate when people yell at me and bully me, but I'll immediately start yelling at you and bully you if we ever get in an argument). Now I can't just cut him out of my life ..he Is my big brother ..I live with him and I'm somewhat financially dependent on him ..but at the same time I can't stand it anymore..I'm sick of having to fight with him every single fucking day over the most trivial shit possible. Any advice?

@Phil 👍

@Philwhat do you think ?

It would be nice to discuss local and global political issues and events .

@Blessed2 you're welcome bro . I wish you a long happy life with peace in your heart .🤍

@Aware Wolf stop annoying me with your nonsense. Go get wasted .

I don't know what your going through but don't give up! Life can be impossible sometimes but no matter what you are going through, just know that you can get through this. Many things happen to us in our lives that cause us distress. It's hard to remember at these times that life can also bring us joy. You might not be able to see the positives in your life, but there is always hope. Regardless of what is happening in your life, your situation will change over time. There are so many things that can happen during a given week or month which can influence our lives. As time goes by, your problems won’t seem as bad and you will be able to see your situation in a different perspective. Some help you can seek or something that will help you feel better is to talk to someone that you feel comfortable with and take the advice that person gives you it. You can talk to a family member, a friend, or a professional counselor who can help you view your problems in a different light. You may feel lost and confused but there are always many different solutions a person can take to solve their problems. The answers might not come right away, however you will find a solution to your situation. You think that there is no hope for you. When you are in this situation, remember that you can’t predict the future with one hundred percent accuracy. No one person can truly know what will happen next week or next month. The best thing a person can do is to not to rely on their negative thoughts when they are upset and stressed out. Don't rely on your feelings that gives you fearful, depressing, and worried thoughts.Your fearful thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on reality. When you are depressed, focus on the facts of your current situation and not on what you think. Knowing all of the facts of your current problem will help you to find a meaningful solution to your issues.

What I meant is that sometimes I come off as a hair spilter or mental masturbator (I argue a lot). But believe me thats not my intention at all .like I said I'm a hardcore truth seeker..I identify as that . So I'm trying my best to get the gist out of everyone's thoughts .that's why I try to be proactive sometimes and ask and argue a lot . Nothing.

Im gonna try it soon and report how I felt . Sounds very tasty and highly nutritious.

Sounds tasty 😋

@Mandy Nah definitely not trolling .and I'm allowing myself to listen and consider other's perspectives. But when I don't agree with something, I'm gonna point it out . I'm not gonna be goodie-goodie and nice and babysit everyone here . I'm a hardcore truth seeker .and I ask you to respect that. When I argue a point..it's not just for the sake of arguing ..and it's clear If you actually bothered to read my replies . About your question.. From a logical standpoint, there is no “now”. The moment we try to grasp a point in time, it has already passed. No thought or experience can happen in the present. From a spiritual standpoint, I think the human, meat-based experience of “now” is artificial anyway. I don’t believe in any phases of existence past the one we are experiencing, but I think it is very likely that we are far less confined by time and space than we normally realize. Please take the time to actually understand and grasp my point rather than half-quoting me and telling me a couple of unnesscary lines 😅.

@Faith @Mandy So as a general rule I should avoid processed foods and eat things that are simple and don't have too many preservatives? The bulk of the diet should be plant based?

@Mandy there is no contradiction. Everything you are experiencing right now is literally nothing. Can't you see how flimsy and unstable it is ? And just like we deny the past as unreal because its not present in our consciousness..the present will soon be turned into a past. Which makes it also nothing. The confusion is between "non-existence " and "nothing ". Reality is nothingness. But this nothingness exists. And non-existence Is impossible. There is only existence. The point is ..you cant catch a piece of the present moment in your hands and say "here it is ". It's in a constant state of fleeting . Yeah I agree. Although I would argue that even apparently there is no sense of being in control of my life .and this is especially obvious and clear when it comes to thought processes. Like try to imagine what thought you will have 10 seconds from now...Notice that you can't. Thoughts just arise spontaneously. The same thing applies to actions ..Although it's not so obvious. We really believe that we are in control of this conversation and our choice of words for example. But actually we don’t. But yeah ..at the end of the day we still have responsibilities to show up for .which renders this whole "illusion of free will " notion obsolete.

As far as science can prove, what is the healthiest diet? I understand their is quite a bit of controversy amongst nutritionist to this question, and that diets can vary from person to person based upon hereditary and medical issues. With that being said, as far as modern science/medicine can prove, what is the healthiest diet? I have read numerous articles on this subject ranging from the Atkins Diet to vegetarianism with only one thing in common, they all believe they provide the guidelines for the healthiest diet.

I agree. And I actually made this point a lot in this thread .is that there is no self which can have free will or not . So what are we even talking about lol ? However as you say..there is apparent self and therefore apparent free will . Whether we believe in free will or not ..we will be held accountable for our actions. So the implications still the same .

You are partially correct. And like I said..ultimately its impossible to define the present. And really it's impossible to define anything. The present is eternal, or more precisely 'timeless'. Consciousness is timeless. Time is a concept. It is made apparent through the rise and fall of sensations in Consciousness... as the idea of time is associated with the sensory image. Notice that colours appear in the visual field (this Seeing). Now look at a clock. Notice the hand apparently moving around the clock face. It is this apparent movement combined with the idea of 'units of time' that is experienced as 'time passing'. Now look at a blank wall so that nothing but the wall is visible. Stay very still and silent. Notice nothing changes. How long is the present moment during which nothing appears to change? Now move a hand into view across the visual field from left to right. The hand appears out of nothing, is apparent, and disappears into nothing. The apparent hand is a composite of colours and feelings associated with the idea of 'my hand'. These colours, feeling and idea of my moving hand all appear in Consciousness... now. Before the hand appears, Consciousness is present. As the hand appears, Consciousness is present. After the hand has disappeared from view, Consciousness remains as it ever is. It alone is. The present is ever now. Ever unchanged. All change is apparent only. Present =present. If you want a different definition..present =consciousness.

The present is the immediate experience of any experiencer. Outside of any particular experience the concept cannot be meaningfully defined. It is precisely what you are experiencing right now .and right now .and right now .its a stream of "nows ". a now "stretched" as Osho would say . Notice that every word is itself and not some other word . So defining anything at would be false . The present =the present. Its a complete tautology. Like A=A.

Of course there is a now . My point is that you can't "catch " it . As soon as this moment begins..it suddenly disappear. This is simply a guess of yours (a what if..) you can't build certainty around a guess or a possibility. Dude ,look, you overcomplicated the issue when it's so simple . Your whole life hinges upon your belief in cause and effect. Why do you drink water? Because you believe its gonna quench your thirst .why do you eat food? Because you believe its gonna cause you to be full and satisfy your hunger .etc So you are being hypocritical if you deny cause and effect .because how you live life practically completely is dependent on a notion of cause and effect.

I always see things from a practical view. I don’t think you can knock on wood and say it is just a thought. It is a physical object Do thoughts think themselves? If everything is a thought, then everything must include the thought that ‘everything is a thought’. If this is the case, then there is no such thing as falsity. Invisible Pink Unicorns exist because they create themselves. Everything is true, because everything is a thought that can think of itself What then would you call those great rules of nature, the totality of which I’m sure none of us have knowledge enough to form as even an abstract thought. They govern the world that each of us perceives, and though our perceptions might differ these rules surely exist on a level greater than merely human thought. Cause and effect lies within this category

What I meant is that you can't measure the present moment. It has no dimensions. No duration. Its literally nothing. Just like how a mathematical point In space has no length and no breadth. It's a zero. I like what Alan Watts said : "There is only this now. It does not come from anywhere, it is not going anywhere. It is not permanent, but it is not impermanent. Though moving, it is always still. When we try to catch hold of it, it seems to run away, and yet it is always here and there is no escape from it."

It doesn't exist. All we have is memories. But memories are not the past .they are thoughts occurring now . That's from the absolute perspective. But I think you are intelligent enough and flexible enough to accept talking on the relative level. Because you don't act from the absolute perspective about time when it's time to go to your job for instance. there is no past. After all, that’s what “past” means .. it’s gone. Yes, we have memories, but however useful for doing things, our memories are only that. They are not the past. There is no past. Similarly, there is no future. By definition, it has not yet arrived. We have our fantasies, which are projections of our memories, but fantasies are not the future. So, there is no future. That leaves us with now. How short (in time) is “now?” Well, it’s pretty darned short. It’s gotta be shorter than a second, because the first part of the second is already gone before we get to the end of it. So, if we cut it in half, and then cut that in half, and keep doing this until the cows come home, we’ll still be snipping away at that little bit of time. Here’s the truth: “Now” is so small that it is not only unmeasurable, it is analogous to a “point” in space. It has no duration. But you are failing to grasp the obvious. Imo. We live in the present always ..but within the present there is a construction of past and future. Which don't really exist. But they serve a function in survival. That's why the concepts of past and future exist . Yep .exactly. there is no thinker of thoughts. Thoughts just arise in consciousness. Which means there is no free will . Same answer as above . Exactly. There is no decisions. It's all just pure happening. It's the spontaneous flow of events .then comes the illusion of the separate self (the separate doer ) and takes responsibility for the decisions. Yeah there is no control obviously . I define myself by the awareness of the boundaries of my skin .so I'm this human being right here .it's false to claim no existence to oneself absolutely. We exist .but not as separate selves. But as awareness of human identity. What I mean by a cause is pretty obvious and clear . It's something which is responsible for pushing the stream of events from event (A) to event (B). And since everything is caused by previous causes ..how can there be free will ? "Free" from what exactly? Of course from the chain of cause and effect .but how can that be? Can you explain it to me ?