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Ego-tripping mania, messiah complex etc.


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Anything come to mind about this? I got a feeling there might be something uncovering here for me.


The recent Kanye West stuff has brought it to surface. I sort of recognize the pattern, it seems familiar. Same with Trump. 


Have you ever experienced these kind of ego-tripping thoughts? I have them at times. Quite often actually.


I don't know if there is anything to do about it, I sort of just watch it happen. It does feel good, exhilarating even. But I also know it isn't true, it comes and goes like a drug. So maybe it just needs to be let run it's course.


There must be an effortless way.

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We have the habit of thinking that only people who deserve happiness based on qualities or prior achievements are worthy of it, and that happiness is a product of circumstances, things and events. Sometimes "knowing your worth" becomes indirect and is hijacked by a the thought of a separate self for whom the worth is thought to be for. Happiness is only for You but never for you. The separate self is a limitation of happiness. 


When I throw the ball for my dog he either jumps and catches it in the air spectacularly, completely doesn't see where it went and looks around confused or somewhere in between. He doesn't care or live in the past with ideas of failure or success, he always just comes right back for a another go,  he just wants to play. Only humans sit around talking about great ball players. 


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I saw Kanye West in a recent interview with Lex Fridman. I think he has been sad and disempowered for a long time but he tries to compensate this with "engineering". Most of us here accept that we cant imitate the patterns of yourself while discarding how we are feeling - one will eventually feel numb or burst into anger. Is very good to accept defeat/sadness/fear right away. He talk's a lot about being rational and how engineer(here he mention something similar to presence) is the only profession we need and history is not useful, but doesn't do a good job in being rational himself. 


I know this was about Kanye but this is how I would relate to his experience.

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