My Path, Enlightenment and Phil

[James123]

Hello everyone. I just want to share my, Path, enlightenment and help of Phil in this process.

Actually it started like this;

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/34014-10-gr-dry-shroom-trip-and-need-some-help/#comment-409048

 

After that, thanks to @Philwho was/is my real teacher / master, we had a back and forth houndrerds of messages. I followed his guides which led to enlightenment. I can't say I am enlightened, because when I drops (if you take the I as body/mind/universe/god) enlightenment happens. And When enlightenment happens all puzzle gets completed because there will be no questions left, searching etc. 

 

By the way during this time for years @Phil didn't charge me penny for any messages, anytime I texted him, he send me an answer. I was suicidal he gave me free session, He did more than my dad did for me. 

 

And this is the realization of enlightenment (don't look the I in the topic, I is not that you take as an I, I is the one as before so called birth ☺️☺️);

 

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/50769-guys-i-have-become-enlightened-i-love-you-i-love-you/#comment-654120

 

Only reason why I am explaining this is you are at the right hands and thanking/appreciating to my brother @Phil.

 

Peace!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Orb]

Thanks for this, really inspiring 🙌. 

 

Was it a big deal when it happened? Or was it like nothing happened? 🤔 

 

Is it a huge shift? Or just the discord stopped completely?

[James123]

5 minutes ago, Orb said:

 

Was it a big deal when it happened? Or was it like nothing happened? 🤔 

When it happened, it was mesmerizing. However, when enlightenment wears down, it felt like being home, sure, safe (because you are nothing, what can happen to you 😂) and before so called birth, now and so called death is attached, and become 1. Even now, I can feel the timeless before birth, now and after death. 

 

8 minutes ago, Orb said:

 

Is it a huge shift? Or just the discord stopped completely?

It is not a actual huge shift, it is like for very short moment (life), you forget what you are, when enlightenment happens the ego (the one you used to operate from) becomes so tiny, you operate as always what you are, it just taking of the mask that you have. 

[Blessed2]

@James123 

53 minutes ago, James123 said:

Actually it started like this;

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/34014-10-gr-dry-shroom-trip-and-need-some-help/#comment-409048

 

Is this trip you wrote about something you would call awakening, or was it "just a trip"?

 

I had a quite horrifying and traumatizing trip some years ago. Ever since I've felt anxious if anyone mentions stuff like you're describing there.

 

I guess I'm asking that is enlightenment, or the path to awakening, any similar to what tripping is like? 🤔 It makes me wonder if I can ever be brave enough to walk this path, or will I always suffer from fear and anxiety.

 

 

[James123]

1 minute ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Is this trip you wrote about something you would call awakening, or was it "just a trip"?

 

Just a trip. Do not ever forget anything you know, experience is comes from mind or I. Enlightenment has nothing to do with mind, experience, beliefs etc. Enlightenment is simply being where you already are.

 

3 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

I guess I'm asking that is enlightenment, or the path to awakening, any similar to what tripping is like? 🤔

The one who is asking for it, completely dies in enlightenment. Everything just stops! 

[Orb]

@James123 was it an automatic thing that happened? 

 

Did you meditate and it happened? 

 

Or was it just like you were living life normally that day and suddenly enlightenment unfolded.

[James123]

2 minutes ago, Orb said:

was it an automatic thing that happened

What do you mean?

2 minutes ago, Orb said:

Did you meditate and it happened? 

 

I was meditating. But the week before enlightenment, almost everyday while walking, talking etc I had ego death non stop, it was like being in the hell, dark night soul till completely surrendering. I even gave up smell of my gf kid. 

[James123]

@DMT Elf 😂😂😂🙏

[Kevin]

I read your trip report and another thread you posted on actualized. I experienced a lot of bad feelings reading through it. The loneliness you mentioned I have felt too. It seems like awakening resolved that for you? I’m still struggling with it. And then all this talk of nothing ever happened and infinite nothing etc. I don’t understand how any of this is positive. Though not explicitly said, it seems like there is a letting go of family and friends and pretty much everything. How is this positive or a good thing. I’m very confused.

[James123]

30 minutes ago, Kevin said:

It seems like awakening resolved that for you?

Yes it did. Loneliness is just a thought. 

31 minutes ago, Kevin said:

. I don’t understand how any of this is positive. Though not explicitly said, it seems like there is a letting go of family and friends and pretty much everything. How is this positive or a good thing. I’m very confused.

Truth has nothing to do with good or bad. Just absolutely/only the truth. Any expectations come from ego.  Many people are not ready about it. Specially if you have nice life, forget about enlightenment, live your life. Because the greatest the suffering is greatest peace is. 

[Orb]

@James123

I'm struggling to understand how this happened for you. 

 

Seems like enlightenment happens randomly? 

 

Like I wish I could mark a day on my calendar for when I want to disappear, but there's no way that can happen. 

 

Even with meditation there's no guarantee, there's plenty of people who meditate for their entire lives and Realization doesn't reveal itself to them.

[James123]

@Orb you have to lose everything. Because “you” is an illusion. After that enlightenment happens. 

[Orb]

@James123 I want to lose everything! I'm done with the ego shit man, I've played every game, it's all futile.

Edited September 22, 2022 by Orb

[Kevin]

13 minutes ago, James123 said:

Yes it did. Loneliness is just a thought. 

Truth has nothing to do with good or bad. Just absolutely/only the truth. Any expectations come from ego.  Many people are not ready about it. Specially if you have nice life, forget about enlightenment, live your life. Because the greatest the suffering is greatest peace is. 

I feel like I’m past the point of no return. In some ways I think I’ve seen deeply into things but not quite all the way. Enough that I don’t thing I can turn back or forget about this whole thing.

 

Also I don’t think I have a nice life. Although that is really the issue. With a change in perspective I could also think that I have an Amazing life. I experience lots of suffering due to focusing on thoughts. So I guess I hold some hope that awakening will bring peace and happiness.
 

People always seem glad to be awakened. People always make it seem amazing. Perhaps I am projecting idk.

[James123]

6 minutes ago, Orb said:

@James123 I want to lose everything! I'm done with the ego shit man, I've played every game, it's all futile.

Close yourself for a week. No phones, communication, electronic  etc. than lets see how it goes for you.  

[James123]

@Kevin enlightenment has nothing to do with amazing, it is just the absolute Truth. Thats all. When you are in deep sleep or before birth, that’s enlightenment is and what you really are is. But after enlightenment, completely surrendering in so called life, you will be free and in love. 

[Orb]

@James123 I can't do that right now unfortunately as much as it seems fun. 

 

I'm transitioning into a commission based career, also working another job and getting promoted there. 😅

 

In the future a vacation would be nice. 

 

I'm living with my mom so I gotta respond when she says my name. 

 

I thought you meant let go of all thought stuff, not literally cut off all electronics and communications lol.

 

How can there be hope for people waking up to truth if most people need to be working a job and can't go on long retreats? Is it just like the top 5% of people who can afford it become enlightened?

Edited September 22, 2022 by Orb

[Blessed2]

@James123 Is true happiness the same as enlightenment?

 

I mean I don't really care about truth. I care about feeling good, not being afraid, not worrying, not doubting. I want to be truly happy, truly at peace. Am I wasting my time looking for awakening?

[James123]

10 minutes ago, Orb said:

@James123 I can't do that right now unfortunately as much as it seems fun. 

 

I'm transitioning into a commission based career, also working another job and getting promoted there. 😅

 

In the future a vacation would be nice. 

 

I'm living with my mom so I gotta respond when she says my name. 

 

I thought you meant let go of all thought stuff, not literally cut off all electronics and communications lol.

 

How can there be hope for people waking up to truth if most people need to be working a job and can't go on long retreats? Is it just like the top 5% of people who can afford it become enlightened?

Enlightenment is not a goal or accomplishment. You have to let the person go, who think these sentences. Even if you rich and can not surrender medidate for 100000 years, you wont be awaken. Lose everything now, next second is enlightenment. 

6 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

@James123 Is true happiness the same as enlightenment?

 

I mean I don't really care about truth. I care about feeling good, not being afraid, not worrying, not doubting. I want to be truly happy, truly at peace. Am I wasting my time looking for awakening?

Enlightenment is peace and freedom. It is realization of that you are nothing. And now you have a so called body, in life, with feelings, family etc. isnt it mesmerizing? What could be better than it? Even if you have the worst experiences as human, what can happen to nothing? Enlightenment is operating from nothing within human body. 

[Kevin]

16 minutes ago, James123 said:

Enlightenment is not a goal or accomplishment. You have to let the person go, who think these sentences. Even if you rich and can not surrender medidate for 100000 years, you wont be awaken. Lose everything now, next second is enlightenment. 

Enlightenment is peace and freedom. It is realization of that you are nothing. And now you have a so called body, in life, with feelings, family etc. isnt it mesmerizing? What could be better than it? Even if you have the worst experiences as human, what can happen to nothing? Enlightenment is operating from nothing within human body. 

Thanks man I was wondering the same thing as Blessed2. It’s confusing because peace and freedom sound great but the way you are describing it makes it sound like the ultimate loss.