I can't seem to overcome my fear of death

[Someone here]

10 minutes ago, Mandy said:

I think that they are a wonderful way to confront our beliefs about death. Spoiler alert, cemeteries are full of nothing but abundant life. 

How? All that's there is decaying Corpses and decayed bodies hat turned into ashes and dirt and rot in the soil.  If I visit a cemetery it will actually increase my fear of death .sorry about being upfront about it .

[Someone here]

10 minutes ago, Robed Mystic said:

can tell you that death is melting into Infinite Love or Pure Consciousness - aka Infinity.   It's beautiful.   You will merge back into yourself - God.   From the finite to Infinite.  

How do you know? Did you die before and came back to life to tell us that  ?

[Loop]

44 minutes ago, Someone here said:

No one .

 

So then, would there be an experience of death? Who would experience it?

Who would pop back out of the universe other then the universe itself.

 

Is biological life separate from what it grew from? And what it will dissolve back into? 
 

49 minutes ago, Someone here said:

…And so what prevents you from losing yourself and going Insane is these stories and memories keep arising to ground your sense of self and reality. 

Not sure how to connect all that with death.  If we aren't the separate self ..then who dies?and who was born ? Could it be that the false illusory self Dies and the real Self continue to eternity?  But the question still remains in what form does it exist ? Because you can trick yourself that complete absence of experience forever is still an experience of some kind. 

You ground your sense of reality in Presence, in Now, in noticing what is going on, rather then believing the stories.
 

Insanity to me is actually believing the stories, you don’t know that you remembered everything correctly. The stories constantly change and are altered, the illusion continues.

 

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

If I visit a cemetery it will actually increase my fear of death .sorry about being upfront about it .

Good! Feel it! I love meditating in cemeteries. Stop trying to overcome the guidance, and allow it to be expressed.

[Mandy]

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

How? All that's there is decaying Corpses and decayed bodies hat turned into ashes and dirt and rot in the soil.  If I visit a cemetery it will actually increase my fear of death .sorry about being upfront about it .

That's what you think is there, and what you think will happen, but if you go and you truly look, you might be surprised at what you see instead. 

[Robed Mystic]

7 minutes ago, Someone here said:

How do you know? Did you die before and came back to life to tell us that  ?

I've died before.   It is called enlightenment.  You will become conscious that death is merely a shift in Consciousness - and you don't have to exit the physical body permanently for that.    You can die and return.  Gandalf the Grey did it and so can you 🙂 ..OK ok, he was fighting a Balrog so it's not quite the same, but you get my drift 😀 

 

 

Edited June 5, 2022 by Robed Mystic

[Faith]

30 minutes ago, Robed Mystic said:

You will merge back into yourself -

 

You can't "merge" into what you already are, you can only remove the ignorance that you aren't  it already.

 

The wave doesn't "merge" into the ocean, as a wave. It can only realize it is already the ocean, and both are water.

 

Both the jiva (finite self) and Ishvara (God, the creator) are both, awareness. 

[Robed Mystic]

6 minutes ago, Faith said:

 

You can't "merge" into what you already are, you can only remove the ignorance that you aren't  it.

 

The wave doesn't "merge" into the ocean, as a wave. It can only realize it is already the ocean, and both are water.

 

Both the jiva (finite self) and Ishvara (God, the creator) are both, awareness. 

Yes that is what I meant with that statement.  The wave realizes it's the ocean.   Merging isn't quite the right word because it was never separate from you. But it's the coming together of Oneness.

Edited June 5, 2022 by Robed Mystic

[Faith]

@Robed Mystic 💙

[Someone here]

27 minutes ago, Mandy said:

That's what you think is there, and what you think will happen, but if you go and you truly look, you might be surprised at what you see instead. 

I'm still not sure how by visiting a cemetery it will help me overcome fear of death .

I actually visited a cemetery before at the death of one of my dad's friends and i was crippling in fear and I experienced intense panic attack. This fear reaction can become so severe that people experience a panic attack. A panic attack is an abrupt fear with  symptoms such as a pounding heartbeat, shortness of breath, shaking,  feelings of unreality or detachment,and a fear of losing control or dying.

Panic attacks are often extremely unpleasant, so people may begin to avoid any situation where they might encounter the fear source that triggers an attack. For example, a person with necrophobia might avoid taking a certain route so that they do not have to pass by a cemetery or funeral home. That's what I would do.

Edited June 5, 2022 by Someone here

[Mandy]

@Someone here ❤️Thanks for the explanation, I grew up caretaking a cemetery but was never used to being in crowds. A few years ago I had a panic attack in a really popular NYC restaurant once, so I know what that's like. I've been working to accept and enjoy crowds in the meantime, and now I've gotten to the point where I recognize the thoughts of aversion, breathe and feel into the now of the experience and even surprisingly found that the energy of a crowd is a beautiful and spectacular thing. I can't even describe it. That whole time I was missing it. What before seemed subtle and was overlooked, overtook and became the entire experience. It's like the wave in the ocean analogy. I was so pissed at all those other waves bumping into me, not respecting my space, not trusting them, and then realized "God DAMN IT! I'm not a wave, I'm water! They're water." 😂 You can feel that. 

 

Where there is fear, there is great love and revelation. However, don't force it, explore it. I'm certainly not suggesting you to force it as that would be done out of fear. Curious, we can't really fear fear but it seems we can. If I were you I would, (with great patience and love for myself), immerse myself in a crowd of dead people and find out what it's all made up of. 

 

[Mandy]

I had the intuition to choose one of these archetype cards earlier this morning when I was responding to this thread and it made no sense to me at the time. God I love co-creation. ❤️ @Someone here @Faith @Robed Mystic 🤗

[Faith]

@Mandy Well, look at that! 🥰

[Phil]

Expressive journaling leads to relevant questions. 

Relevant questions lead to insights, resonance, wakefulness, revelations and enlightenment. 

Thoughts about death don’t feel good to you and therefore questions about death aren’t relevant. 

In terms of how they feel, people move from fear & focus upon unwanted, to resonance of wanted from expressing. 

When expressing, the same old thoughts and therefore fear can arise… but not when the emotional scale is used as a guide for expressing. 

The alternative is not actually an alternative, it’s doing more of the same. 

People feel better, resistance free, lighter, after expressive journaling, because our true nature always arises when unobscured. 

The true nature, that which arises when unobscured, is what’s wanted. 

Feeling better is all that’s wanted. Not focusing on what doesn’t resonate. 

Focusing on overcoming unwanted, is focusing on unwanted. 

 

It’s like driving a car. Notice to the left of the gas pedal there’s this other thing called the brake. Gotta use both so you don’t crash. 🙂

[nurthur11]

22 hours ago, Phil said:

The solution is to stop believing fear is a conceptual logical problem to be solved. No solution is needed. 

 

Fear can be solved conceptually. If you are afraid of heights and someone puts puts you on a rock climbing wall, initially you will feel yourself falling, so its not just an emotion. Lets say you are hooked to a harness and a rope, you can reason with the situation and say to yourself that you are hooked to a rope there is a small chance you will fall. After some time there will not be any noticeable fear. Just that. It  just exposure to that activity. I am not sure if it will work for all but it works for me. 
 

I agree with you when you say that emotion is not a thing. Very good point! I think to believe that emotion is a thing is very closely related to experience reality what it is described as solipsism? Would you agree on this one? Not sure how can one form that belief other wise. 

Edited June 5, 2022 by nurthur11

[Faith]

4 min.

[Phil]

13 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

 

Fear can be solved conceptually. If you are afraid of heights and someone puts puts you on a rock climbing wall, initially you will feel yourself falling, so its not just an emotion. Lets say you are hooked to a harness and a rope, you can reason with the situation and say to yourself that you are hooked to a rope there is a small chance you will fall. After some time there will not be any noticeable fear. Just that. It  just exposure to that activity. I am not sure if it will work for all but it works for me. 

“And someone puts you on a rock climbing wall…” wouldn’t per se be conceptual / just ‘thinking’. That you could ‘feel yourself falling’ would be conceptual / thoughts about a ‘separate self.’  I agree though that exposure therapy is helpful in the sense fear is thought to be a monster in the closet, until the closet is inspected and found to be empty. 

13 hours ago, nurthur11 said:

I agree with you when you say that emotion is not a thing. Very good point! I think to believe that emotion is a thing is very closely related to experience reality what it is described as solipsism? Would you agree on this one? Not sure how can one form that belief other wise. 

Yes it seems similar in that ‘the knower’ has ‘stepped in’ so to speak. 

[Phil]

@Someone here

Also, with respect to panic attacks, can you sincerely claim you’re ‘doing’ them?  Or do they seem to just happen?

It might be the body’s natural response, guidance, of well being & alignment.  

If so, I’d just take the first step. In terms of alignment, a single step feels like, resonates like a leap due to the change in orientation being so desirable. Sometimes when the way forward’s clear and all lined up vision wise, but what one’s doing in the present isn’t conducive to the plan, discord is felt & momentum ensues. The guidance tends to go from a whisper to a yell, because you’re free, and so profoundly loved it’s hard to even find a line between the love and the you that is so free. 

 

Hope it’s not “too heavy”, but can it be noticed sleep & death have never actually been experienced? And so maybe discord arising ‘elsewhere’ is unknowingly rerouted, seemingly transferred, upon these (sleep & death)?  We could say by thoughts, or even energetically… but the emotion experienced would be most relevant. You might be ‘giving it to God’ without recognizing it as such (not that there’s anything wrong with that of course!) and / but missing communion wise… God’s giving it (alignment, well being, the peace & love desired and literally the entire universe) to you. If so, the pointers of receiving & allowing certainly come to mind, and the framing of ‘what am I attracting here’ might bring about clarity. 🤍

 

If it’s clarifying… think of the intellectualizing / conceptualizing or egoic shaping of a simple act such as taking a piss. Notice the claiming at play. Also notice no one has ever taken a piss. It’s a bogus claim. There’s really just a relaxing and allowing, and claim wise, not even. The body so to speak, pisses, and thoughts (might) arise about how “I did it / took it”. Can be insightful to life, if one finds one is ending up, pissed. Thoughts can be experienced as, thoughts, and that relaxing and allowing (feeling) can be extrapolated out infinitely. 

 

No one ever consciously makes plans to go out and have a difficult, hard and horrible time. Yet quite often people are reluctant to use tools like expression journals, the emotional scale and a dreamboard. Realities are so weird in that way. 

[Mandy]

"When consciousness leaves, there is no self-consciousness. You say the Knower of consciousness also vanishes, but who is there to witness the absence of Knower? If you say, after consciousness nothing remains, then who will ask this question? What will you achieve by rejecting these words? Your fear of death will remain intact." - Nisargadatta

[Someone here]

@Phil

I'm not sure what to do with your posts .they are kinda ambiguous and hard for me to understand you correctly. So I will just go on my own here and describe what I'm experiencing as of late...

To answer your opening question: no I'm not doing the panic attacks.  They happen to me.  A big component of them is that they happen unexpectedly and completely out of the blue .and they actually make you feel you've lost control over yourself and reality (your surroundings) permanently and you are not getting it back. Of course that comes just with the fear and its not true. After about half an hour you calm down and you re-gain your control over reality .

It’s actually completely understandable to have anxiety around death, even though it is inevitable.  But I notice my fear of death increases whenever I experience a panic attack. What im trying to do to not let death anxiety hinder my day to day life.

For some of us, contemplating death can cause intense anxiety and fear. It’s why death anxiety is a recognized mental health disorder with its own name: Thanatophobia.

It’s considered a phobia if the fear arises virtually every time you think about death or the death of a loved one.if the fear persists for more than six months..or if the fear prevents you from functioning in everyday life or relationships. If this describes your anxiety, then you've got a huge problem. It becomes difficult to function In everyday life.
 

The lesson im trying to learn is that there is a danger of missing out on so much if we don’t appreciate even the most ordinary of days. we do not notice each passing moment, perhaps take others for granted and we do not appreciate the value of this precious human life. But if we live with our mortality as a daily experience, then we will live a happier and healthier life. So that might be a benefit of remembering death. 

In gaining a better appreciation of all the cruel twists and unknowns, i become more skilled at the art of living .making the most of what i have, making each moment count. In facing death, in accepting that it comes to us all one day, we not only have the opportunity to shift our perspective but to also expand our awareness around life itself. I'm trying to see the bright side of the situation. And the benefits of my panic attacks and death anxiety. 

[Someone here]

@Mandy do you have evidence that consciousness survives physical death ?

are near death experiences a decent evidence that consciousness survives physical death ?

And why does all people who experienced an NDE report the same thing ? The long tunnel with the bright white light at the end , and seeing their body from above as if they astral projected ?