Hesitation, Procrastination, “Stuckness”, Inactivity & The Power of Meditation

[Phil]

“It” could be any endeavor of any kind. College, a job, a career, starting a company, a relationship, a move, a change of behavior or habit, maybe even starting a new hobby or bringing an old beloved hobby back or even just a renewed commitment & mindfulness in regard to aligning thought with feeling & ‘pre-paving’.

 

“It” can be overwhelming to say the least. Sometimes discordant thoughts seem to form a cluster of discord and phrases like ‘one step at a time’ or ‘slow & steady wins the race’ can seem flighty, unrealistic or even dispassionate relative to the ‘cluster’ & overwhelment experienced.

 

Many thoughts might arise about the endeavor. Will it be too hard, will it be the right way to go. I want a relationship but I don’t know about commitment. I want to start working but what if it’s not a good fit. I want to ‘move up Maslow’s pyramid’ but I don’t know about the responsibility aspect. 

 

Of course there can be as many thoughts about potential & one’s creating as there are snowflakes, but what I want to share is a specific distinction or interpretation in this regard involving meditation that might not have been considered yet. 

 

 

Often, there is a more deeply rooted concern behind these arising thoughts which might sound like - how will I be?

 

What if it’s too much for me and I become overwhelmed? Disappointed? Stuck? Discouraged? What if I waste time? What if my potential is greater than the direction I go in? This aspect in & of itself can be extremely difficult to make sense of. 

 

 

This is where meditation can really shine & play a transformative role. Allowing such thoughts to settle might not sound like a big deal at all. It might not even seem to have anything at all to do with one’s creating & endeavors. Sometimes meditation is thought of as separate, as becoming a better meditator, and not having anything to do with life, or creating at all. I’m hoping to communicate just a little bit of insight & dot connecting in that specific regard. 

 

 

Meditatively, the ‘chatter’ of thoughts or thinking is allowed to come to rest, or is brought to rest. Most key perhaps is that this includes self referential thoughts. Also meditatively, as the mind quiets, the true nature shines through and is more pronounced. 

 

Thoughts of ‘how will I be’ are met with a non-thought, indisputable absolute answer - present. 

 

Concerns like ‘what if I can’t do, solve or figure out x, y or z’ are also met with a non-thought answer - clarity, intelligence, guidance. 

 

 

Allowing the true nature of oneself to shine through is transformation.

 

Whereas there once there were concerning speculative thoughts - as thinking subsides there is greater clarity of ease & presence. Whereas once there was confusion, overwhelming decisions, uncertainty & perhaps indecisiveness, these subside as well and clarity in terms of naturally arising aligned preferences, solutions, and more all-encompassing inclusive ways forward are luxuriously experienced. 

 

What inevitably dawns is viscural empowerment, passion & eagerness. In terms of feeling - true, actual certainty and assuredness is unfettered and realized to be very real & within you all along indeed. Amidst an experiential diversity of philosophies, teachings, theories, opinions, practices, methods and concepts - ‘why you came’ begins to actually click. That Good is nondual begins to be recognized. Notions of what is possible are more expansive, resonate more deeply, and inspire more than could previously have been experienced. 

 

In this way, meditation is power. The very real ‘juice’ or ‘energy’ of reality is allowed into the mix, and indeed is most life changing as it were. As a powerful tool of self-discovery, self-allowance and self-assurance - life’s challenges seem smaller and smaller, while the worthwhileness of it all is clearer & revealed to be undeniable. 

 

 

Please feel free to add insights, share from experience, ask any questions, and utilize this thread to talk through any concerns or challenges. 

 

🤍

[Orb]

Thank you for this post. I stopped meditating consistently and while the true nature always is, I've found that life does feel a bit stiffled. 

 

I also am in a situation where I want to get the rocket off the ground into space but there's no fuel! 

 

Like every morning I wake up and kinda give up on exercising and meditation. It's been a relatively short rut but still. 

 

I want to help my boss expand his business and to also make a lot of money through commissions. 

 

I also am having financial difficulties but I'm staying content through it.

[WhiteOwl]

6 hours ago, Phil said:

Most key perhaps is that this includes self referential thoughts

Thoughts in my experience mostly is just live pictures rolling. So a thought contains so many self referential beliefs in just 1 thought. A whole story/life actually is contained. So its never just the words appearing "I am not worthy", its a clip feeling unworthiness in some fabricated situation that contains so much other stuff as well. So any thought with "you" or your body would be a self referential thought?

[Orb]

@Phil in this experience thoughts don't settle during meditation. After counseling I learned I display clear signs of OCD. 

 

Is this a long term thing? Do thoughts settle after months of meditation? 

 

When I hear about meditation I assume it is a practice that involves letting go of all thoughts, but it seems impossible to be thoughtless. 

 

Do thoughts still arise and it's just the discordant ones that are let go?

[Phil]

@Orb

When attention is gently redirected to feeling breathing in the stomach thoughts subside, including self referential thoughts & thoughts about time.

[Phil]

@WhiteOwl

Thoughts about thoughts also subside. 

 

On 1/11/2024 at 7:41 PM, WhiteOwl said:

So any thought with "you" or your body would be a self referential thought?

Self referential thoughts are about or reference a separate finite self.

 

The thought ‘your body’ implies a separate finite self which has a separate finite body. 

Self, formless awareness, is being / appearing as the thought ‘body’, and perception & sensation as well. 

[WhiteOwl]

1 minute ago, Phil said:

@WhiteOwl

Thoughts about thoughts also subside. 

 

Self referential thoughts are about or reference a separate finite self.

 

The thought ‘your body’ implies a separate finite self which has a body. 

Self, formless awareness, is being / appearing as the thought ‘body’, and perception & sensation as well. 

But i rarely think in words or phrases. I think in "pictures" or scenes including separate selves. Like imagining a horse running over a hilltop. Thats how thoughts appear, just scenes playing out. But they contain so much information and so many self-referential thoughts, since thats what the persons are made of?

[WhiteOwl]

@PhilThe words or phrases are only if i wanted to tell you about the thought. 

[Phil]

@WhiteOwl

Awareness is appearing as two spheres;

A world / universe / room / objective reality. 

And a lens by which awareness subjectively experiences the world / universe / room / objective reality. 

 

Thoughts are an appearance of the lens-sphere. 

 

Awareness is not being or appearing as ‘a thinker’, or, ‘one who thinks’. 

Awareness is not being or appearing as ‘a body’, or, ‘one who has a body’. 

 

Awareness appears as the thought, that there is, or that I am,  a separate finite self; ‘a thinker’. 

 

‘Thinker’ is a thought.

A self referential thought. A thought about a separate finite self. 

 

Because awareness is infinite, there is no such ‘thing’ as knowing, and no ‘thing’ to know. 

Infinite means no finite. 

 

Because awareness is appearing as the spheres, awareness overlooks its own infinitude, unconditionality & innocence. 

 

Not Knowing + Pure Innocence = an apparent experience of awareness believing the thoughts awareness is appearing as. 

 

 

So awareness is not being a ‘multiplicity of thinkers’, which ‘think different ways’. 

 

The lens-sphere is not other-than awareness - infinite intelligence.

By being the lens-sphere and overlooking itself, it seems to awareness there are ‘finite thoughts’. 

 

In overlooking its inherent infinitude, innocently, awareness mistakes itself to be a finite body experiencing finite thoughts. 

The ‘thoughts’ which are appearing as the lens-sphere awareness is being, are in actuality awareness, and can appear any which way, just as awareness is appearing in a way that might be referred to as ‘the room’. 

 

As awareness is withdrawn from it’s own activity of appearing as ‘thoughts’, such as awareness being redirected to feeling breathing in the stomach as it were, the activity of appearing as ‘thoughts’ subsides - wether that activity is of sound, imagery or words. 

 

Information is in formation. Lightly speaking, forming (appearing), yet never becoming any finite or separate thing, such as form. So there is not a separate thing, ‘information’, inside of a ‘thought’. The ‘thought’ “itself” is in formation. (Appearing). 

 

In accordance with apparent presumed delusion (belief), most people think in words or phrases, sounds and imagery. 

[WhiteOwl]

41 minutes ago, Phil said:

Awareness is appearing as two spheres;

A world / universe / room / objective reality. 

And a lens by which awareness subjectively experiences the world / universe / room / objective reality. 

Think i will have to attend the next zoom meeting for some questions about this.

 

The rest clicks a little more everytime. Thanks so much for your incredible patience. Such a help. Breathing feels amazing right now.

[Phil]

@WhiteOwl

🙏🏼 Much love brother. 

[noomii]

I have experienced absurd amounts of procrastination and inactivity for a long time and meditated daily. I haven't noticed much change or improvement from meditating.
I no longer sit for hours feeling like I'm in "freeze response" and distracting myself to avoid feeling. But it seems more like I no longer do that because emotions have been allowed more?
I still try to avoid certain things I need to do (most likely avoiding overwhelm, fear or doubt). I feel easily overwhelm even though the tasks are what people normally think of as easy.

I'm trying to do things despite how it feels but it seems like everything takes longer time than normal, that I'm ineffective and that I don't have much time for it (even though I have a lot of time, so to speak).

It seems like the lack of focus I experience makes it more difficult to meditate?
Before I read your post yesterday I focused on the breath for maybe 5 min and it felt easier than usual to focus on the breath. Maybe it was because I went through the emotional scale a few hours earlier. The reading felt difficult though.
This morning I took a cold shower before meditation (which I thought would help with the focus) but it was still difficult to focus on the breath.

Or maybe the meditation already works but I just keep on believing the thoughts about how it doesn't work and the lack of focus?

 

@PhilI would like to hear your thoughts on this. 😊

 

[Phil]

32 minutes ago, noomii said:

maybe the meditation already works but I just keep on believing the thoughts about how it doesn't work and the lack of focus

🎯

Thoughts are believed apparently. That there is someone believing, is a belief. 

Lack is a belief. That lack is not a belief, and is true about something or someone, is projection.

♥️

Overwhelment is an emotion. 

 

WHAT IS PROJECTION?

“In regard to what’s being shared here, please acknowledge & set aside any expectations that something or someone including yourself should, needs to or is going to change or be changed…”

[noomii]

3 hours ago, Phil said:

🎯

Thoughts are believed apparently. That there is someone believing, is a belief. 

Lack is a belief. That lack is not a belief, and is true about something or someone, is projection.

♥️

Overwhelment is an emotion. 

 

WHAT IS PROJECTION?

“In regard to what’s being shared here, please acknowledge & set aside any expectations that something or someone including yourself should, needs to or is going to change or be changed…”

So if any thoughts about meditation and how it's not working appear I just return focus to perception or sensation?

Thank you ❤️😊

[Phil]

22 minutes ago, noomii said:

So if any thoughts about meditation and how it's not working appear I just return focus to perception or sensation?

Yes! Exactly! ♥️

[noomii]

@Phil What if I'm expected to make decisions quickly when I don't see what I want and when there's not much time for meditation?
I feel a lot of doubt about where to work and live.
I've been focused on just noticing the doubt, but I also feel a lot of worry that I need to make decisions quickly. I don't know what the next steps are and when I'm forcing myself to figure it all out with the mind it just feels worse.

I did have an idea of what I could do earlier but changed my mind. 

[Phil]

28 minutes ago, noomii said:

What if I'm expected to make decisions quickly when I don't see what I want and when there's not much time for meditation?

 

On 1/14/2024 at 1:41 PM, noomii said:

So if any thoughts about meditation and how it's not working appear I just return focus to perception or sensation?

Best advice. ♥️

[noomii]

On 1/14/2024 at 7:41 PM, noomii said:

So if any thoughts about meditation and how it's not working appear I just return focus to perception or sensation?

18 hours ago, Phil said:

 

Best advice. ♥️

That is useful advice for any thought appearing.

What bothers me most are all the thoughts about time and that there is a time limit.
I think I don't have time for noticing emotions & thoughts to allow an "answer" to unfold and to go slow/not force things when I don't know what to do, when I'm expected to be productive.

 

I could be mindful of all of these thoughts one by one or to meditate more. But then there's a thought saying "That is too much, it is too much effort, it doesn't feel good".

It seems like I can push myself too hard and that I should be gentle, but I also remember you saying something about that it's not possible to push yourself too hard?

I guess it doesn't matter what I do because there's no right or wrong. But I believe there is and I'm trying to avoid mistakes.

[Phil]

@noomii

What are self referential thoughts? 

[noomii]

10 minutes ago, Phil said:

@noomii

What are self referential thoughts? 

Thoughts about a seperate self?