Reena Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 (edited) What does a discordant relationship look like? When someone is trying to connect with you but being an asshole in your eyes. And you are trying to connect with them, but they could care less. Huh???? Sounds magical? Edited January 2 by Reena Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 Being too long among people can also be a sensory overload for me. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 A discordant relationship is essentially denial of projection. Like believing or saying someone is an asshole while expecting them to want to have a relationship with you. Why exactly would they want to? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 2 hours ago, Phil said: A discordant relationship is essentially denial of projection. Like believing or saying someone is an asshole while expecting them to want to have a relationship with you. Why exactly would they want to? I don't know how to explain that. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 @Reena Maybe it’s as simple as they wouldn’t want to. ‘In your eyes’ would really be ‘in accordance with what I believe’, yes? Not in your eyes as in perception, objective, or true about them. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 46 minutes ago, Phil said: your eyes’ would really be ‘in accordance with what I believe’, yes? Not in your eyes as in perception, objective, or true about them. Not necessarily. But in terms of general social belief. I didn't create my beliefs. Society and culture hands it down to us. So if someone attacked my self worth, that would be amount to shaming, not only in my eyes but also in terms of what society thinks. Our collective beliefs contribute to general social belief. If I'm scared of a lion, I'm not the only one, each and every member of society is scared of it too. So it's not like I'm the first person on planet earth who coined the term "asshole." Society deems certain behaviors towards women as unacceptable and our parents, schools, peers, books and teachers teach us to be aligned with these beliefs to ensure a smooth societal structure and flow. Our beliefs, morals and ethics are derived from what our culture gives us. For example if it's wrong to steal, this is not an ethic I invented. It's what general human society has passed down to us through generations in time. So these values and beliefs stick. So if someone is breaking these rules we call that person an "asshole" or as someone we cannot get along with since our values do not allow that. This creates the discord? Which the so called "asshole" probably doesn't realize because they don't want to do internal reflection as to why they were deemed an asshole, they focus more on the rejection of the "asshole" rather than putting in effort to not be one. Thus they almost ask for a license to be an asshole. This I would consider as the real definition of arrogance and lack of humility and even empathy for that matter. This creates discord because I want to feel empathy yet being with an "asshole" means aligning to his values of "non-empathy." Perhaps this is the root of discord. Now in order to heal this discord, a person would try to reestablish a proper relationship with the "asshole." But as fate would have it, this is simply not possible since in my personal experience such an attempt is not seen as an opportunity to create harmony but rather as an opportunity to victory by the asshole who now weaponizes this opportunity to his advantage and instantly rejects any chance at a harmonious communication letting the discord stay as it is. It's weirdest discordant dynamic I have seen. I think the root of this dynamic lies in the opponent wanting to always stay an opponent. Any opportunity at harmony would stop making them an opponent so they willfully reject it. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 @Reena ‘Asshole’ is a thought. Believed, a belief. Not actually what someone is. Beliefs aren’t experienced in perception. 17 minutes ago, Reena said: Not necessarily. But in terms of general social belief. I didn't create my beliefs. Society and culture hands it down to us. So if someone attacked my self worth, that would be amount to shaming, not only in my eyes but also in terms of what society thinks. Our collective beliefs contribute to general social belief. If I'm scared of a lion, I'm not the only one, each and every member of society is scared of it too. So it's not like I'm the first person on planet earth who coined the term "asshole." Society deems certain behaviors towards women as unacceptable and our parents, schools, peers, books and teachers teach us to be aligned with these beliefs to ensure a smooth societal structure and flow. Our beliefs, morals and ethics are derived from what our culture gives us. For example if it's wrong to steal, this is not an ethic I invented. It's what general human society has passed down to us through generations in time. So these values and beliefs stick. So if someone is breaking these rules we call that person an "asshole" or as someone we cannot get along with since our values do not allow that. This creates the discord? Which the so called "asshole" probably doesn't realize because they don't want to do internal reflection as to why they were deemed an asshole, they focus more on the rejection of the "asshole" rather than putting in effort to not be one. Thus they almost ask for a license to be an asshole. This I would consider as the real definition of arrogance and lack of humility and even empathy for that matter. This creates discord because I want to feel empathy yet being with an "asshole" means aligning to his values of "non-empathy." Perhaps this is the root of discord. Now in order to heal this discord, a person would try to reestablish a proper relationship with the "asshole." But as fate would have it, this is simply not possible since in my personal experience such an attempt is not seen as an opportunity to create harmony but rather as an opportunity to victory by the asshole who now weaponizes this opportunity to his advantage and instantly rejects any chance at a harmonious communication letting the discord stay as it is. It's weirdest discordant dynamic I have seen. I think the root of this dynamic lies in the opponent wanting to always stay an opponent. Any opportunity at harmony would stop making them an opponent so they willfully reject it. Rationalizing, justifying, defending, etc, doesn’t change judgement, it perpetuates it. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 A discordant relationship begins with the belief that it's your partners responsibility to make you feel happiness. Or that happiness comes from others. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 I think discordance is related more to harmony rather than happiness. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 15 hours ago, Reena said: I think discordance is related more to harmony rather than happiness. Is there a difference between harmony and happiness? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessed2 Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 On 1/2/2024 at 5:07 AM, Reena said: What does a discordant relationship look like? Hmm. A relationship isn't ever actually experienced. There are only thoughts about a relationship(s). So the "discord" is always about thoughts. I love the GIF btw. 😂 Quote Mention There must be an effortless way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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