How to avoid feeling like a piece of shit?

[Reena]

I'm feeling like a piece of shit right now because I broke a glass cup. I was reckless and dropped it. 

 

Right now I'm going mad and cursing myself in lot of anger. 

I expect perfection out of myself. 

 

I feel terrible terrible terrible if I make a mistake. I can't get over something I do if I perceive it as an error or carelessness. I get hyper agitated and right now I'm very frustrated. 

 

I simply can't forgive myself even over little things. 

It's like I ask myself "couldn't you have done better."

 

What thought or word I should tell myself to deal with this sort of anger at self or "self unforgiveness." 

 

[Reena]

Right now I'm completely mad at myself. 

[Reena]

Sometimes I make mistakes due to memory problems or lack of sleep or just a quick error or improper reflex. 

 

Then I go into this intense mad rage or self punishing kind of anger. 

 

I don't even know if such emotion is proper or am I being unreasonably harsh? 

 

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, Reena said:

I simply can't forgive myself even over little things. 

It's like I ask myself "couldn't you have done better."

 

What thought or word I should tell myself to deal with this sort of anger at self or "self unforgiveness." 

 

Forgive others.

 

How you see others is how you see yourself.

 

By changing how you see others, you change how you see yourself.

 

So... Forgive everything and everyone. See only innocence.

 

And I mean that. Delusional ego-forgiveness won't do the trick. True forgiveness doesn't mean that you forgive when someone does something bad. It means that you see only unchanging, unconditional innocence to begin with.

 

Edited December 27, 2023 by Blessed2

[Mandy]

You can't feel insufficient and also move towards wholeness, you are the broken cup. The Universe has no borders, to hold all this, it's needs no bounds, no borders, no walls. That's what you really are. God has the whole world in his hands, but he doesn't have hands so it's just utter never-ending freefall, and that's also the only real security that is. 

[Reena]

45 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Forgive others.

 

How you see others is how you see yourself.

 

By changing how you see others, you change how you see yourself.

 

So... Forgive everything and everyone. See only innocence.

 

And I mean that. Delusional ego-forgiveness won't do the trick. True forgiveness doesn't mean that you forgive when someone does something bad. It means that you see only unchanging, unconditional innocence to begin with.

 

I don't know if I can do that 

 

 

It always comes around - will others forgive me if I did this to them? 

 

Seems like being punished every time over little things makes me extremely mad at people and sometimes at myself. 

 

Because it feels grossly unfair. I think deep down my unforgiveness is attached to unfairness. It's like when I see others being pitied or sympathized with when they make errors either to me or others. Yet I am fully aware that if I did the same, the attitude towards me will be exceptionally unforgivable. 

 

I have never been given even the slightest compassion 

 

BEING CALLED A FUCKING BITCH EVERYDAY DOESN'T FEEL GOOD RIGHT?????? 

 

Why the hell should I be compassionate towards others then? 

 

It just this enormous feeling of woundedness and unfairness. I guess that's where all the anger comes from.

 

And being told that I should forgive others feels even more unfair and punishing. 

 

Hate begets hate. You hate me. I hate you. At least that's how it's in my book. 

 

 

Edited December 28, 2023 by Reena

[Blessed2]

3 minutes ago, Reena said:

I don't know if I can do that 

 

You can. It just takes a bit of focus, willingness and an open mind.

 

You can't forgive as long as you see a doer of bad things. You gotta overlook that character and see the boundless self "behind" the character. Like looking past the movie characters and fixing the gaze on the TV screen. It just takes a bit of focus.

 

6 minutes ago, Reena said:

It always comes around - will others forgive me if I did this to them? 

 

What do you mean? And how is this relevant?

 

8 minutes ago, Reena said:

Because it feels grossly unfair. I think deep down my unforgiveness is attached to unfairness. It's like when I see others being pitied or sympathized with when they make errors either to me or others. Yet I am fully aware that if I did the same, the attitude towards me will be exceptionally unforgivable. 

 

8 minutes ago, Reena said:

BEING CALLED A FUCKING BITCH EVERYDAY DOESN'T FEEL GOOD RIGHT?????? 

 

These are examples of "stuff" to forgive. To look past to see the TV screen.

 

9 minutes ago, Reena said:

Why the hell should I be compassionate towards others then? 

 

It's not really about "being compassionate". It's not about being something or doing something in the world, like saying kind things. The forgiveness I'm talking about happens in the mind. It's about how you think.

 

And why? Not because it's the "right thing to do", or "ethical", or a "virtue". It's because you want happiness, and this is the way there.

 

 

[Phil]

Avoidance of emotion is suffering, acknowledgement of emotions is relieving. 

[Reena]

3 minutes ago, Phil said:

Avoidance of emotion is suffering, acknowledgement of emotions is relieving. 

And what's to be done after that.

[Phil]

@Reena

Avoidance of emotion is more of an efforting or doing, resistance.

 

Acknowledging emotions is effortless, non-doing, non-resistance. 

 

Avoidance or acknowledgment happens now, or doesn’t happen now.

 

While there may very well be thoughts about time passing and a past & a future, these thoughts arise only now. 

 

 

 

While it could seem that reaching for a thought to express jealousy is unrelated, or even counter intuitive, this is a good place to remember the ‘big power’ in using the scale is actually found in the small moves from expressing one emotion to the next. It’s about that little bit of feeling better, and better, and better. Tuning & calibrating a little bit at a time. It adds up - momentum.

 

We all experience periods in life where we’re not on the upbeat and we see other people inspired, feeling great, moving & shaking and creating their lives.

 

There is a dream within every one and you are no exception. Seeing others moving forward can bring about the often misunderstood emotion of jealousy, the wishing we ‘had that’, or were creating or experiencing what someone else is. To express this, is to move up the scale - to feel better - to begin to consciously create.

 

 

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” 

- Mark Twain

 

“Moving from jealousy to anger, revenge, hatred or rage simply feels a bit better. It’s about getting it out, no longer carrying it, letting the energy unwind & be expressed outwards emotionally.

It’s ok to feel anger for example, and to express it. Do not express it upon anyone, this is only for you, for your expressing in the name of aligning with well being, and liberating yourself such that you create, what you want.

 

You might feel inclined to express anger toward selfish or poor judgments, behaviors & actions you have experienced from others. You might also emotionally express & fantasize about revenge. Perhaps you are simply sick and tired, and a bit angry, about not accomplishing what you’ve desired to, and about not feeling the inspiration & energy to do so. Relax & safely express how you really feel. Express freely, earnestly, and openly  let it all out.” 

- Some Asshole

 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-emotional-scale

[Joseph Maynor]

How to avoid feeling like a piece of shit?  Stop identifying with ego entirely.  Broaden the scope of the self.  The higher self feels no shame.  The higher self is ok with whatever is witnessed.  Figure out how to incorporate that into your sense of self.  This is why spiritually enlightened people have an abundant core that they get for free.  Being awareness is bliss on some level.  If you can access the Divine you'll have this.  There's no reason to let the human perspective completely define you.  Don't feel like a pest in your own life.  You have to figure this out.  And this is a you problem not an other people problem -- for everyone!

 

Edited December 28, 2023 by Joseph Maynor