Jump to content

What do I really want?


Blessed2

Recommended Posts

I've been visualizing my desires. As detailed as possible, trying to feel how I'd feel if I had those things.

 

The #1 thing that comes to mind, what I've been wanting most, is a lottery win so that I could do what I want and not be forced to have a job or study what I don't want to study.

 

Hey, it felt good to say that "out loud"!

 

Been also "reversing projection", or not judging rich folk with stupid judgements, but noticing I actually want it too and am experiencing jealousy.

 

But anyway, I've been visualizing it, like literally the moment I'd find out I won millions, and what I'd to next etc. And been paying attention to how it feels.

 

The thing is, something feels discordant about those dreams. There is something that just doesn't fit quite right. Not saying that there is anything wrong with a dream of winnin lottery, but I'm no longer sure if that's really what I want.

 

So I kept visualizing and trying to go deep, to find the dream in which I feel good. It was weird because I went through all these dreams and desires that has been running through my mind and all of them felt discordant!

 

It was like following what feels good got me closer and closer to what I already have. That was so weird.

 

I noticed that what feels best is what I already have, where I'm already at, but with a different interpretation. Like driving vs. sitting back and just enjoying the view. Like having Source / God be the designer and just kind of going along with it. That might even feel better than winning the lottery! Like a ton of weight off your shoulders.

 

Then what followed that interpretation of letting God do the driving / designing, was this great focus on here now. And suddenly this limitless possibility of well-being opened. It was awesome.

 

 

 

There must be an effortless way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The desire creation process is a complex one, and when you try to imagine and think your way to it, instead of feeling and relaxing way your to it, it might be quite uncomfortable, because you don't necessarily know what exactly it is that you want from your conscious level. 

 

 

Edited by nonduallogic
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

The thing is, something feels discordant about those dreams. There is something that just doesn't fit quite right. Not saying that there is anything wrong with a dream of winnin lottery, but I'm no longer sure if that's really what I want.

Keep writing up your discord and you'll get to the truth of it. 

 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By clicking, I agree to the terms of use, rules, guidelines & to hold Actuality of Being LLC, admin, moderators & all forum members harmless.