What do I really want?

[Blessed2]

I've been visualizing my desires. As detailed as possible, trying to feel how I'd feel if I had those things.

 

The #1 thing that comes to mind, what I've been wanting most, is a lottery win so that I could do what I want and not be forced to have a job or study what I don't want to study.

 

Hey, it felt good to say that "out loud"!

 

Been also "reversing projection", or not judging rich folk with stupid judgements, but noticing I actually want it too and am experiencing jealousy.

 

But anyway, I've been visualizing it, like literally the moment I'd find out I won millions, and what I'd to next etc. And been paying attention to how it feels.

 

The thing is, something feels discordant about those dreams. There is something that just doesn't fit quite right. Not saying that there is anything wrong with a dream of winnin lottery, but I'm no longer sure if that's really what I want.

 

So I kept visualizing and trying to go deep, to find the dream in which I feel good. It was weird because I went through all these dreams and desires that has been running through my mind and all of them felt discordant!

 

It was like following what feels good got me closer and closer to what I already have. That was so weird.

 

I noticed that what feels best is what I already have, where I'm already at, but with a different interpretation. Like driving vs. sitting back and just enjoying the view. Like having Source / God be the designer and just kind of going along with it. That might even feel better than winning the lottery! Like a ton of weight off your shoulders.

 

Then what followed that interpretation of letting God do the driving / designing, was this great focus on here now. And suddenly this limitless possibility of well-being opened. It was awesome.

 

 

[Mandy]

Conceptualization of "what is" never fits, but what IS is alignment, and sure does. It also feels like pure potential, or rather nothing fixed.

 

There isn't really a different between giving/receiving, getting value or giving value. So perhaps the avoidance of giving value feels really off? 

[nonduallogic]

The desire creation process is a complex one, and when you try to imagine and think your way to it, instead of feeling and relaxing way your to it, it might be quite uncomfortable, because you don't necessarily know what exactly it is that you want from your conscious level. 

 

 

Edited November 16, 2023 by nonduallogic

[Alexander]

@Blessed2 I started learning new things that I can monetize in future .So I am allowing God?Universe to play with me.

[Reena]

7 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

The thing is, something feels discordant about those dreams. There is something that just doesn't fit quite right. Not saying that there is anything wrong with a dream of winnin lottery, but I'm no longer sure if that's really what I want.

Keep writing up your discord and you'll get to the truth of it.