Understanding male psychological process megathread

[Phil]

9 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

What is the difference between having a psychological process for not having sex and not having a psychological process for having sex? 

Having sex. 😂 

 

9 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

I think some kind of process has to take place, even if the process is merely "willing woman, sex opportunity".

I read the op again and realize I was an little off. I’m thinkin sex and sex in relationships vs sex and relationships. 

[Jonas Long]

4 minutes ago, Phil said:

Having sex. 😂 

 

I read the op again and realize I was an little off. I’m thinkin sex and sex in relationships vs sex and relationships. 

Are there things that involve a psychological process to not do that lack a psychological process to do?  Breathing, I guess, automatic involuntary nervous system things.  But as far as conscious actions?  There has to be some process, right?  Even if it's very minimal.

[Phil]

38 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

Are there things that involve a psychological process to not do that lack a psychological process to do?  Breathing, I guess, automatic involuntary nervous system things.  But as far as conscious actions?  There has to be some process, right?  Even if it's very minimal.

Subjectively I presume it varies like there’s some kind of spectrum, but objectively no.

 

Makes me wonder… if a woman was aware there’s not really a psychological process, would she be as a man in not having to release psychological / emotional tension to then be in the mood?

[Jonas Long]

5 minutes ago, Phil said:

Subjectively I presume it varies like there’s some kind of spectrum, but objectively no.

 

Makes me wonder… if a woman was aware there’s not really a psychological process, would she be as a man in not having to release psychological / emotional tension to then be in the mood?

No, I think they do know, mostly, but still need it.

Of course some women don't need much of it either.  They're more like gay men I guess in that way. 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Jonas Long

[Reena]

3 minutes ago, Phil said:

Makes me wonder… if a woman was aware there’s not really a psychological process, would she be as a man in not having to release psychological / emotional tension to then be in the mood?

That psychological process is called attraction. Men don't sleep with insects. 

[Mandy]

Hamsters eat thier young if they feel like they aren't set up for success, women have had to prevent young in the first place by not being in the mood. 

[Jonas Long]

21 minutes ago, Reena said:

That psychological process is called attraction. Men don't sleep with insects. 

They probably would if it were feasible.

[Reena]

2 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

They probably would if it were feasible.

Man is made to be attracted to a human female. Not any other female. 

[Jonas Long]

1 minute ago, Reena said:

Man is made to be attracted to a human female. Not any other female. 

People do fuck animals

[Reena]

4 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

People do fuck animals

That's not considered normal pattern of behavior though. It's also illegal, illicit and criminal. 

[Jonas Long]

3 minutes ago, Reena said:

That's not considered normal pattern of behavior though. It's also illegal, illicit and criminal. 

The point is we don't always require attraction in order to have sex.

[Phil]

34 minutes ago, Reena said:

That psychological process is called attraction. Men don't sleep with insects. 

Attraction is as much a psychological process as gravity. Attraction and gravity are the same for men, woman, animals and insects, but only men & woman lay claim to understanding. 

[Phil]

15 hours ago, Reena said:

I think one way to  harmonize with men is to understand male psychology in sex and relationships. Just like I would want a man to listen the feminine perspective from my side, I should also be open to the male perspective as well. I'll try my best to gather resources on the male perspective as well as male psychology in relationships. 

 

 

Zooming out a bit… what if understanding is actually aversion from feeling? 

If you consider direct experience, one is undeniably self-evident and the other has actually never been seen, heard or witnessed at all. 

 

Bearing in mind what’s wanted, a happy healthy relationship… what does understanding more have to do with getting out of one’s own way and allowing & receiving what’s wanted? 

 

Is the notion that self-harmonizing results in receiving what’s wanted too ‘out there’ or too paradoxical maybe?

 

[Mandy]

Well this song is ruined now. 

 

 

[Reena]

4 hours ago, Phil said:

Zooming out a bit… what if understanding is actually aversion from feeling? 

If you consider direct experience, one is undeniably self-evident and the other has actually never been seen, heard or witnessed at all. 

 

Bearing in mind what’s wanted, a happy healthy relationship… what does understanding more have to do with getting out of one’s own way and allowing & receiving what’s wanted? 

 

Is the notion that self-harmonizing results in receiving what’s wanted too ‘out there’ or too paradoxical maybe?

 

I did not understand how I stood in my own way. I thought I'm expanding and learning. 

 

[Phil]

@Reena

The phrase ‘getting out of your own way’ includes what it is in reference to; a separate second self.

Since there are not two of you, you can’t get out of your own way. 

If you can’t get out of your own way, what is the point of the phrase?

Noticing the separate / second self - is not a self - but is thoughts. 

 

Imagine if you were in the checkout line at the grocery store and were experiencing pressure and tension about how long the line is taking. 

Then imagine you notice that there is actually no one in front of you - you just thought there was, and waited, and stressed accordingly - in accordance with the thought, yet not in accordance with direct experience, the actuality or reality of the situation. The stress, tension, urgency, pressure etc - is how the thought feels, and is not actually how you feel. It’s how the thought feels - to you. 

 

‘Getting out of your own way’ is really - ‘notice you are not in thoughts’. 

 

It’s not about right or wrong, language, being critical or anything of the sort. It’s only about ‘getting out of your own way’ - being; without the tension, stress, pressure, confusion, etc of - the separate self of thought. Put another way, without self-referential thoughts. It’s like lifting away a veil that wasn’t seen, yet obscured the true beauty, wonder & magic of being. In a word; empowerment. 

 

For example, you are present. We could be more technical and say you = presence. This is verifiable in direct experience simply by attempting to not be present / presence, such as actually attempting to go now to a past or future. 

 

Therein, in accordance with direct experience, there is the thought, ‘I did not understand’, yet there isn’t that self (which is in a past). There is the thought, ‘I stood in my own way’, yet there isn’t that self (which could actually be in your own way / there are not two of you; one which could be in the other’s way). There are the thoughts, ‘I’m expanding’ and ‘I’m learning’, yet there is not the self which the thought implies. 

 

What’s being pointed to must be seen / noticed in direct experience to make sense. By makes sense I mean resonates, feeling amazing. Liberation. 

Do you see what’s being pointed to here?

Is it noticed ‘the one who understands’ isn’t actual, isn’t actually present?

Likewise, the one which is expanding & learning? (Not quite the same as saying there is no experience of expansion & learning).

Is it noticed there’s an experience of these thoughts, but these thoughts aren’t actually about you, these thoughts are experienced by you. 

 

A way to point to the thread relevance is there are two activities;

1. Understanding, which is not actual and is actually the activity of thinking.

2. The relationship you want.

 

Th whole point is ‘getting out of your own way’ and experiencing the relationship (and anything else) desired, wanted or preferred.