Masculine & Feminine

[Mandy]

21 hours ago, Reena said:

I think women want the kind of intimacy with a male that makes them feel provided for and safer. I have explored (and I continue to) my own sexuality as a woman and every time I ask myself what kind of a man I would be settling with (not necessarily happy with) is a man who can provide for me (even if I make my own money, I cannot take away the feeling that I want to be provided for, cared for and looked after), so I guess my basic feminine feeling and instinct is revolving around basic survival as a woman. I'm just trying to be as honest as possible while stating it.

 

I know exactly what you mean when I watch youtube videos of men building shelters and stuff out in the woods. 😍😂 I didn't marry someone quite like that though, but when it comes to technology, math, navigation and common sense when I'm upset, he's often my hero, or else I just resent him for knowing stuff I don't. 😂 And every once in awhile he puts some furniture together, and begrudgingly moves some furniture for me. 😆

 

Yesterday we went to a stone fort that was built in the 1860's to spook the kids before Halloween and it struck me how as time goes on, everything gets lighter and lighter. Now military defense isn't canons, canon balls, and stone forts, it's surveillance, jets, missiles. Cars are much lighter, even my little car I bought in 2012 is way heavier than the same size one I bought ten years later. My 1860's house is built like a brick sh*thouse, yet they put all this stuff together without machinery, and now homes are much lighter and (in some ways) smarter. 🤷‍♀️ It's like with advancement, "things" become much less material. The value of it becomes less and less physical or material. So if it's not about someone there to do the physical heavy lifting for you anymore, what is it about?

21 hours ago, Reena said:

 

Even if a man was sweet and kind to me, if he could not give me emotional safety, my subconscious mind will reject him no matter how sexually attractive he might be to my body as a woman.

 

What do you mean by emotional safety? 

 

21 hours ago, Reena said:

So I guess the fundamental masculine feeling is of domination and protection and ownership of the woman. And the fundamental feminine feeling is of surrender and wishing to be taken care of and provided for. 

I'm of the traditionalist mindset when it comes to masculine feminine dynamic. 

 

There's something really wonderful about not having to think or feel like you're responsible for yourself. If however, it's your responsibility to outsource this to someone else, then the task of deciding who is capable of this task and making sure they remain worthy of maintaining it becomes your responsibility. So you bar yourself from getting what you want, whereas meditation is the ultimate giving oneself away to the bliss of not having to think, figure it out, have responsibility or decide, and if you sink into that effortless place every morning then the rest of the day and the seeming decisions and weights of the world don't seem nearly heavy anymore. 

[Reena]

3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

I know exactly what you mean when I watch youtube videos of men building shelters and stuff out in the woods. 😍😂 I didn't marry someone quite like that though, but when it comes to technology, math, navigation and common sense when I'm upset, he's often my hero, or else I just resent him for knowing stuff I don't. 😂

Haha 😆

3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

 

And every once in awhile he puts some furniture together, and begrudgingly moves some furniture for me. 😆

 

Yesterday we went to a stone fort that was built in the 1860's to spook the kids before Halloween and it struck me how as time goes on, everything gets lighter and lighter. Now military defense isn't canons, canon balls, and stone forts, it's surveillance, jets, missiles. Cars are much lighter, even my little car I bought in 2012 is way heavier than the same size one I bought ten years later. My 1860's house is a brick sh*thouse, yet they put all this stuff together without machinery, and now homes are much lighter and (in some ways) smarter. 🤷‍♀️ It's like with advancement, "things" become much less material. The value of it becomes less and less physical or material. So if it's not about someone there to do the physical heavy lifting for you anymore, what is it about?

I guess by physical I also mean decision making. Sometimes I feel insecure, I feel like I'm making mistakes or I wanna look for a second opinion, let's say buying an apartment, I feel like I want to talk to a male partner, maybe he would know more than I know? Having a man by my side makes me feel less stressed if he is coaching and guiding me, contrary to belief that I should feel inadequate, I feel compensated. What good for is a partner If he doesn't complement, there's a joy in mutual sharing. Stuff I don't have a clue about he could give a helping hand. Stuff where he needs a shoulder to cry on, I could help him. I don't want total independence. I want to feel like I need him and I want to feel needed too. That brings me the joy of needing and sharing and doing things together. 

 

3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

What do you mean by emotional safety? 

 

Where I know he won't abandon me, he won't break my heart and he will give me the respect I deserve. Also the emotional security that I can be vulnerable to him as and when I want and he wouldn't judge me  after I open up about sensitive subjects like sex, reproductive decisions or anything bothering me. 

 

3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

 

There's something really wonderful about not having to think or feel like you're responsible for yourself. If however, it's your responsibility to outsource this to someone else, then the task of deciding who is capable of this task and making sure they remain worthy of maintaining it becomes your responsibility.

This is true 

 

3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

 

So you bar yourself from getting what you want, whereas meditation is the ultimate giving oneself away to the bliss of not having to think, figure it out, have responsibility or decide, and if you sink into that effortless place every morning then the rest of the day and the seeming decisions and weights of the world don't seem nearly heavy anymore. 

This is true too. 

[Mandy]

12 minutes ago, Reena said:

 

I guess by physical I also mean decision making. Sometimes I feel insecure, I feel like I'm making mistakes or I wanna look for a second opinion, let's say buying an apartment, I feel like I want to talk to a male partner, maybe he would know more than I know? Having a man by my side makes me feel less stressed if he is coaching and guiding me, contrary to belief that I should feel inadequate, I feel compensated. What good for is a partner If he doesn't complement, there's a joy in mutual sharing. Stuff I don't have a clue about he could give a helping hand. Stuff where he needs a shoulder to cry on, I could help him. I don't want total independence. I want to feel like I need him and I want to feel needed too. That brings me the joy of needing and sharing and doing things together.

We all want to feel as if we are of value to another and we want to be complimentary to one another, there's so much joy and fun in that. This doesn't mean that you have any real reason to feel insecure without it though. I use journaling, a pendulum, and tarot or oracle cards for guidance if I have difficulty with a decision. Or I may ask for opinions. I have all these tools at my disposal.  I find that most of my issues with decision making are just impatience, and reluctance to take the time use those tools, talk about it, or to even just let the question go for a while. I think the fun in them is proof that the answer doesn't really come from me, or anyone else, or else the pendulum or tarot cards or the feeling guidance itself (that guts feeling) wouldn't be so magical. The answer I'm looking for is the one that feels right, but many many times, it is only the feeling we are looking for, and it doesn't actually matter which we decide. 😳*Phew* what a relief! Strangely enough that relief makes the decisions even more clear to see. 

21 minutes ago, Reena said:

Where I know he won't abandon me, he won't break my heart and he will give me the respect I deserve. Also the emotional security that I can be vulnerable to him as and when I want and he wouldn't judge me  after I open up about sensitive subjects like sex, reproductive decisions or anything bothering me. 

👍❤️

[Joseph Maynor]

I think of Yin and Yang as a way to organize theory.  I don’t like using the words  Masc or Fem energies.  When I hear Masc or Fem a whole nest of theory emerges because I associate theories with these terms.  It’s very useful if you’re inclined toward doing Integration work.  If you’re not, then you can ignore it.  You don’t have to resonate with everything in self help or development work.  Different strokes for different folks.

[Phil]

@Joseph Maynor

What’s meant by ‘resonate’?