Difficult to focus and align

[noomii]

I need help with how to align and be productive.

 

I experience a lot of worry about needing to find a place to live and a new job. 

I've been trying to push myself to get things done but it doesn't work when I feel so much resistance. 

In the morning I practice around 20 min concentration, then I do 30 min breathwork. During the day I acknowledge a lot of emotions.

 

I still experience a lot of difficulty with reading, listening, learning, understanding etc. My focus is very bad even though I've practiced concentration for a long time.

 

I feel very confused about what's the right practice for me. I don't really feel like the practices I do help me much. Also not sure if the breathwork is the right for me, after a while when breathing the same way I usually stop seeing any new changes and it seems useless. I don't feel that different from concentration practice either. I feel bored about most practices.

 

I don't know where exactly I want to live so I don't know where to send my job applications yet.

I have written on my dream board what I do know I want, how I want to live, but I don't know where or how to get there.

 

I sometimes write in my notes better feeling thoughts and what I want in an attempt to align but it doesn't seem to change much because there's much emotional turmoil.

 

To look for a new place to live feels difficult, when I try I seem to get so immensly distracted by thought which make it feel difficult to focus on looking for a place to live. I usually try to force myself but it feels very discordant. This happens with most things I try to focus on. 

 

I have kind of neglected my need for help because I've thought it takes too much effort to get help and that I should be able to solve this myself.

 

How can I align? (Without using emotional scale everyday?)

Is it just about bringing as much awareness as I can to the emotions? 

Edited September 10, 2023 by noomii

[Jonas Long]

1 hour ago, noomii said:

I need help with how to align and be productive.

 

I experience a lot of worry about needing to find a place to live and a new job. 

I've been trying to push myself to get things done but it doesn't work when I feel so much resistance. 

In the morning I practice around 20 min concentration, then I do 30 min breathwork. During the day I acknowledge a lot of emotions.

 

I still experience a lot of difficulty with reading, listening, learning, understanding etc. My focus is very bad even though I've practiced concentration for a long time.

 

I feel very confused about what's the right practice for me. I don't really feel like the practices I do help me much. Also not sure if the breathwork is the right for me, after a while when breathing the same way I usually stop seeing any new changes and it seems useless. I don't feel that different from concentration practice either. I feel bored about most practices.

 

I don't know where exactly I want to live so I don't know where to send my job applications yet.

I have written on my dream board what I do know I want, how I want to live, but I don't know where or how to get there.

 

I sometimes write in my notes better feeling thoughts and what I want in an attempt to align but it doesn't seem to change much because there's much emotional turmoil.

 

To look for a new place to live feels difficult, when I try I seem to get so immensly distracted by thought which make it feel difficult to focus on looking for a place to live. I usually try to force myself but it feels very discordant. This happens with most things I try to focus on. 

 

I have kind of neglected my need for help because I've thought it takes too much effort to get help and that I should be able to solve this myself.

 

How can I align? (Without using emotional scale everyday?)

Is it just about bringing as much awareness as I can to the emotions? 

Try something different but start with just one thing and try to stick to it for a while.  Talk therapy maybe. 

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, noomii said:

I still experience a lot of difficulty with reading, listening, learning, understanding etc. My focus is very bad even though I've practiced concentration for a long time. 

If I'm studying and I think "oh I can't focus", I don't believe or give focus to that thought. It's as easy as taking one thought at a time and not assuming a thought about yourself failing to be true. There's no more distracting thought than "oh I'm distracted, oh I can't focus, oh I have ADHD, etc.  As long as it's one thought at a time and no "me" that's a continuum that's an excuse to believe liming thoughts about yourself, you're unlimited. You can do anything you like. There's nothing wrong with you. 

 

I would suggest just meditating, relaxed style for 15 or 20 minutes first thing in the morning. Some outdoor time and/or exercise everyday. Then whatever you're inspired to. 

 

Do something everyday that challenges you, or scares you even if it's a small step. That's not to go seeking things that are scary but to reframe the scary things as "GO ME! I made myself uncomfortable," rather than thoughts about how you can't or how you're inappropriate in some way for feeling discomfort.  Also make time for deep relaxation. 

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, noomii said:

To look for a new place to live feels difficult, when I try I seem to get so immensly distracted by thought which make it feel difficult to focus on looking for a place to live. I usually try to force myself but it feels very discordant. This happens with most things I try to focus on. 

Set a time for 5 minutes to look into it. See what kind of momentum you can build in 5 minutes. Moving forwards feels great. Ever binge clean before? 

[noomii]

14 hours ago, Mandy said:

If I'm studying and I think "oh I can't focus", I don't believe or give focus to that thought. It's as easy as taking one thought at a time and not assuming a thought about yourself failing to be true. There's no more distracting thought than "oh I'm distracted, oh I can't focus, oh I have ADHD, etc.  As long as it's one thought at a time and no "me" that's a continuum that's an excuse to believe liming thoughts about yourself, you're unlimited. You can do anything you like. There's nothing wrong with you. 

There's thoughts saying Mandy probably don't even understand what I experience and how difficult it feels and that the difficulty to focus might be more than just being distracted by a thought. Might be something physically blocking me from focusing. I don't believe I have "ADHD" though.
Also I don't think I can let go of all thoughts that comes up all the time while reading or listening to something.

14 hours ago, Mandy said:

I would suggest just meditating, relaxed style for 15 or 20 minutes first thing in the morning. Some outdoor time and/or exercise everyday. Then whatever you're inspired to. 

 

Do something everyday that challenges you, or scares you even if it's a small step. That's not to go seeking things that are scary but to reframe the scary things as "GO ME! I made myself uncomfortable," rather than thoughts about how you can't or how you're inappropriate in some way for feeling discomfort.  Also make time for deep relaxation. 

I have done regular meditation a lot but it doesn't seem to change much for me. It's easier to focus on one point also.

If I would skip my current morning routine I would probably feel worse though so it probably does something despite what I said.
I haven't really managed to deeply relax.

I'm outdoors and I exercise most days.

 

14 hours ago, Mandy said:

Set a time for 5 minutes to look into it. See what kind of momentum you can build in 5 minutes. Moving forwards feels great.  

5 min feels like something I can do, won't get much done but it can help me start.

 

14 hours ago, Mandy said:

Ever binge clean before? 

Most likely a long time ago. Why?

[noomii]

5 minutes ago, noomii said:

5 min feels like something I can do, won't get much done but it can help me start.

Sounded like I haven't even started lol. Usually it feels difficult just to be completely focused on a task for 5 min.

[Phil]

Acknowledge assumptions, the belief in separation, and pessimism… and that these are discordant (acknowledge suffering). 

[noomii]

I have actually started to use the emotional scale again and my intention is now to finish it. It feels a bit easier now to use it for some reason but I have only started from worry on the scale these two days.
Just a few min after finishing the scale I have experienced worry again but I guess it's ok.
I'm going to focus on that and see how it feels. I'm going to acknowledge any other emotions related to productivity the rest of the day.
In the morning I focus on concentration and body scan.
I also try to wake up earlier but it's not going so well. I usually exercise later in the day but it would be better to wake up earlier and exercise, after meditation and before eating. It would also be good to use the emotional scale as early as possible but it feels too exhausting to do it after meditation and exercising.

I experience a lot of worry with my workouts. If I don't exercise during the day I feel it,  so I usually try to exercise everyday but I feel like I'm in a hurry and try to avoid the emotions coming up if I don't exercise. But I really need to calm down especially when running. It feels like running makes me even more stressed.

I have also managed to challenge myself everyday with doing a bit of what needs to be done with work and finding a home, even though it's not much.

[Mandy]

On 9/9/2023 at 10:19 AM, noomii said:

Most likely a long time ago. Why?

It's a great example of how positive momentum towards something you want but often have a hard time focusing toward works. 

[Phil]

22 hours ago, noomii said:

I usually exercise later in the day but it would be better to wake up earlier and exercise, after meditation and before eating.

Try meditation after exercise. See if you like it. 

 

22 hours ago, noomii said:

It would also be good to use the emotional scale as early as possible but it feels too exhausting to do it after meditation and exercising.

Try using it before meditation, as a clearing out making for a better sitting. Not to imply rushing through it or anything, but consider allocating five minutes for it. See how it goes. It take a few times, but might contribute to keeping it simple, short & sweet. 

 

22 hours ago, noomii said:

It feels like running makes me even more stressed.

Ever wonder how the weight which is lost, is lost? 

From exhaling. Literally from breathing out. 

Apply to discordant thoughts while exercising too. Imagine the discord being breathed right out… and exhale it. 

 

22 hours ago, noomii said:

I have also managed to challenge myself everyday with doing a bit of what needs to be done with work and finding a home, even though it's not much.

No need to minimize. I think it’s a lot, and it’s also great to hear. 🙏🏼 Good for you. 

[noomii]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Try meditation after exercise. See if you like it. 

 

Try using it before meditation, as a clearing out making for a better sitting. Not to imply rushing through it or anything, but consider allocating five minutes for it. See how it goes. It take a few times, but might contribute to keeping it simple, short & sweet. 

Thanks for the suggestion.

 

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Ever wonder how the weight which is lost, is lost? 

From exhaling. Literally from breathing out. 

Apply to discordant thoughts while exercising too. Imagine the discord being breathed right out… and exhale it. 

Really? Might explain why I gained weight that don't go away or being bloated, despite having smaller appetite, the digestion is slow.

[solereproduction]

On 9/8/2023 at 4:58 PM, noomii said:

 

 

How can I align? (Without using emotional scale everyday?)

Is it just about bringing as much awareness as I can to the emotions? 

My response to first question. When a personal brain doesn't control their own body's emotions, others that can will to their advantage over your own behavior forward in your time staying alive now.  Understand life evolves in series parallel time displaced in your own skin now.  Your brain is an organ, a social mind is obedience to power of suggestion from others outside your own skin and most likely your ancestral lineage.

 

 Understand what any society is created for?  Making time easier to adapt in while occupying space one at a time since added as a replacement to your own previous 4 generation gaps lived and combined your specific time living here now.  Genetic combinations only exist as eternally separated being what is evolving forward here in this atmosphere.

 

Every person needs security, shelter, food, water, civil environment, equal opportunity to adapt with never staying the same results twice.  nothing evolving  that can erode or decompose stays as arrived. The only constant universally here is balancing forward one at a time now.

 

Emotions are a body figuring out what works and fails each details added in combination of equally timed apart as everything outside an individuals skin. All lifetimes combined share the moment here never staying same form as arrived.  Confined to exist at the same time sharing same space creates the need for civility sharing space all 5 generation gaps living as ancestral lineages present regardless which generation gap left alive.

 

Societies create methods to supply the necessities to adapt when occupying space here, So what do you like to do that can fit into donating a third of your biological time working the supply chain creating the things people consume to survive? there is harvesting raw materials, converting raw materials to finished products, there is marketing the products, educating everyone what life actually is and does naturally sustaining eternal separation of each ancestor occupying time now in an ever changing form since a fertilized cell began one's time living here now.

 

Series parallel adapting at the same time a brain has to make tasks in priorities of what comes first, second, third, fourth, etc.  But in doing that a person can get lost in linear projections while never exceeding adapting to space now. This is where humanity got corrupted. Doesn't matter the social narrative, language barriers, geographical area living, race, creed, color, national origin, gender bias, all the things that define a person's "character" obeying rule of law or scriptures honoring ideas larger than just adapting in space now.

 

Cannot find peace outside your skin until you make peace with life doesn't evolve beyond adapting to the moment here.  

 

Hope this helps bridge instinctive awareness with social consensus for the rest of your time adapting to space eternally separated in your own  time here now.  Space doesn't divide time, time just measures how long your body was displaced so far.

 

Second question.

 

It is more about discovering actuality of being equally alive while only timed apart now living as part of a species never duplicating lifetimes twice. When ancestries won't accept what they are doing here now, they invent ideas of who they rather become instead and that distorts the natural process that never has changed since the species began existing here in this atmosphere.  Lost souls gave away their sole time adapting as displaced here now to honor a promise of tomorrow instead.

 

How things became what is evolving forward here now.

Edited September 22, 2023 by solereproduction
correct some spelling and grammar.

[noomii]

On 9/19/2023 at 6:09 PM, Mandy said:

It's a great example of how positive momentum towards something you want but often have a hard time focusing toward works. 

I first thought you meant it's bad to push yourself to do a lot at once as it makes it more difficult to create a habit out of it, that usually it's easier to maintain a habit by cleaning a little everyday.

 

On 9/19/2023 at 7:44 PM, Phil said:

Ever wonder how the weight which is lost, is lost? 

From exhaling. Literally from breathing out. 

How did you realize this?

[Phil]

16 minutes ago, noomii said:

How did you realize this?

Curiosity and checking direct experience really. 

[Mandy]

17 minutes ago, noomii said:

I first thought you meant it's bad to push yourself to do a lot at once as it makes it more difficult to create a habit out of it, that usually it's easier to maintain a habit by cleaning a little everyday.

No, like when you tidy up one thing, like your desk for example and it looks and feels so good, you can't stop. Even though maybe for weeks you couldn't be bothered to throw that one piece of trash on your desk into the can right by it, now it's done and you're happily looking for what to tidy next. 

 

Or when you start a movie or a book or tv show and you don't know if you'll like it in the first 3 minutes and have no idea what's happening, and then a couple hours later you're so absolutely absorbed that you're bawling by the end. 

 

It's just momentum. 🙂

 

When you exercise or run can you start to use it as a meditation, taking each thought at a time and letting it go? What are the thoughts that are making it stressful, do you want it to be over with? What are they saying during exercise? 

[noomii]

On 9/23/2023 at 8:26 PM, Mandy said:

No, like when you tidy up one thing, like your desk for example and it looks and feels so good, you can't stop. Even though maybe for weeks you couldn't be bothered to throw that one piece of trash on your desk into the can right by it, now it's done and you're happily looking for what to tidy next. 

 

Or when you start a movie or a book or tv show and you don't know if you'll like it in the first 3 minutes and have no idea what's happening, and then a couple hours later you're so absolutely absorbed that you're bawling by the end. 

 

It's just momentum. 🙂

In my case I seem to have a lot more resistance involved

 

On 9/23/2023 at 8:26 PM, Mandy said:

When you exercise or run can you start to use it as a meditation, taking each thought at a time and letting it go? What are the thoughts that are making it stressful, do you want it to be over with? What are they saying during exercise? 

Yes I could do that.

"I have so much to do, I need to hurry so that I can do all the other stuff later today. I don't have much time".

 

When taking long walks in nature I usually feel the most guilt thinking I'm unproductive and wasting hours in the forest. That's something I want more of but I haven't really allowed myself much of that.

[Mandy]

4 hours ago, noomii said:

In my case I seem to have a lot more resistance involved

Don't argue for that being the case for you if you no longer want that to be the case though, it can turn around like *that*. 😊

Note how the "you" is the assumed continuum, the limitation and expectation that holds the unwanted thing in place. Don't use yourself as an excuse to argue for what you don't want. The opposite of being blindly arrogant about something you're good at, is blindly doubting your ability to do what you want. Yet people don't try to knock you off you pedestal if you doubt yourself, they typically just ignore you. Yet we often do the arrogant person the favor of challenging their arrogance. 

4 hours ago, noomii said:

Yes I could do that.

"I have so much to do, I need to hurry so that I can do all the other stuff later today. I don't have much time".

 

When taking long walks in nature I usually feel the most guilt thinking I'm unproductive and wasting hours in the forest. That's something I want more of but I haven't really allowed myself much of that.

Scheduling it in or making it a nonnegotiable daily habit can solve that. Or you could make a list of what needs to be done, do the tasks that most need doing before leaving. Once you define something is important to you, such as writing it on the dream board, you're more like to recognize thoughts that aren't allowing of it. It's amazing what sort of magic happens when you simply write things down. 

[Orb]

@noomii based on the OP, the fundamental issue im "seeing" in your situation is that it's very inward oriented. It's all about stuff working for "me". 

 

The joy of life comes from giving! It's never ending joy. 💙

 

No one is gonna save you, no technique will do. Because it's ultimately up to you to give, to express. 

 

And when you give then the universe just keeps on giving and experience becomes more giving. The universe doesn't know self or other, it just gives unconditionally. 

 

So when you give the universe gives back because there's no you or universe just giving ♾️.