Rose Posted April 14, 2023 Share Posted April 14, 2023 (edited) I have one friend, she is an ESTJ, and for some reason I get very anxious when I am supposed to meet her - like can’t fall asleep the night before and really regret making plans with her. I am INFJ myself and she seems too aggressive/too much all over the place for me. Kind of “win win win no matter what” mentality which overwhelms me. It also annoys me how she complains that she is tired and can’t go to the gym more than twice a week, even though she only has work (I have work and studying going and I still manage to go to the gym 5+ times a week). It also annoys me how organized she is and how she sends me pictures of her meal preps all the time. Does anyone else experience being so anxious around certain people? Edited April 14, 2023 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted April 14, 2023 Share Posted April 14, 2023 Don't compete and compare or just watch the thoughts that attempt to do that, and you'll feel much more at ease. She's triggering those thoughts. It's not her, it's a good thing. What you want isn't to be the most fit, most motivated, or the best mason jar salad prepper, you just want the liberation of being who you is. Friends are meant to be fun and inspiring and to expand your world. I'd kinda love to have someone to kick my ass a bit and inspire me to meal prep, lol. It isn't fun or inspiring when you're thinking that it's one more thing you need to do to be "ok", rather than something you'd like to do, or something you're just not interested in doing. If your friendships suck, it's a good sign you aren't being very friendly to yourself in your thoughts. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessed2 Posted April 14, 2023 Share Posted April 14, 2023 Quote Mention There must be an effortless way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted April 14, 2023 Author Share Posted April 14, 2023 (edited) @Mandy but I already feel overwhelmed, and when she talks about meal prepping I feel like there is one more thing I have to do that I don’t have time/energy for She also likes to give unsolicited advice and tell me how I could improve my life. Like she told me the clock is ticking and I should try harder to find someone.. I know the clock is ticking and I am already stressed out about that, I don’t need someone else to poke at it… But I guess I know what you mean, it only bothers me because I am already bothered.. But then there are also toxic people who could make anyone feel bad.. and then there’s personalities - INFJ and ESTJ are different like night and day.. Where is the truth.. how can I know it’s her and not me.. The point is, that I am bothered, and that is not something I can fix overnight, and her poking at it makes things worse.. so maybe for the time I am just not in a good place for those kind of people Edited April 14, 2023 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted April 14, 2023 Share Posted April 14, 2023 @Rose Can I just please rip the band aid off? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted April 15, 2023 Author Share Posted April 15, 2023 5 hours ago, Phil said: @Rose Can I just please rip the band aid off? Is it that ESTJs are pure evil and no wonder I am feeling off with her? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted April 15, 2023 Share Posted April 15, 2023 2 hours ago, Rose said: Is it that ESTJs are pure evil and no wonder I am feeling off with her? no.. for fuck sake. How do you want to feel towards her ideealy if you had one fucking shot in life feel anything? like you do right now? NO!. Change your fucking mind. Stop all the excuses. Stab your heart with all your proudness and feel better forever after that Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted April 15, 2023 Author Share Posted April 15, 2023 (edited) 58 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said: no.. for fuck sake. How do you want to feel towards her ideealy if you had one fucking shot in life feel anything? like you do right now? NO!. Change your fucking mind. Stop all the excuses. Stab your heart with all your proudness and feel better forever after that I was very obviously joking, you need to chill Edited April 15, 2023 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted April 15, 2023 Author Share Posted April 15, 2023 9 hours ago, Phil said: @Rose Can I just please rip the band aid off? But yes! Please do! Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted April 15, 2023 Share Posted April 15, 2023 4 hours ago, Rose said: I was very obviously joking, you need to chill I did 😂 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted April 15, 2023 Share Posted April 15, 2023 @Rose It’s not about other people. It’s about what’s going on between you and You. It’s about what you want, and the attracting & allowing of it. No longer being so hard on yourself, no longer experiencing anxiety. Recognizing (and liberating of) projection. Less suffering, more relief, ease & clarity. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted April 15, 2023 Share Posted April 15, 2023 15 hours ago, Rose said: @Mandy but I already feel overwhelmed, and when she talks about meal prepping I feel like there is one more thing I have to do that I don’t have time/energy for overwhelm is an emotion, deal with the discordant thoughts, don't think it's her causing them. 15 hours ago, Rose said: I am already stressed out about that, I don’t need someone else to poke at it… But I guess I know what you mean, it only bothers me because I am already bothered.. Put feeling first, before thinking why people are the way they are. It will not resolve, you won't find the answer and the discord stays discord. 15 hours ago, Rose said: But then there are also toxic people who could make anyone feel bad.. and then there’s personalities - INFJ and ESTJ are different like night and day.. Where is the truth.. how can I know it’s her and not me.. The point is, that I am bothered, and that is not something I can fix overnight, and her poking at it makes things worse.. so maybe for the time I am just not in a good place for those kind of people That's the thought loops that keep the discord in place. When you set the tone for how you want to feel, and you really put that above everything else no one can sway you. Why not talk with her about the overwhelm if it comes up? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flowboy Posted April 17, 2023 Share Posted April 17, 2023 This friend is just helping you point at your unresolved anxiety when it comes to health and relationships. What changes would you have to make in order to know "I'm good, I'm taking the actions I want to take and this area of my life is handled"? Quote Mention 10 Things To Know Before Attempting Self-Healing Work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.