Why Don't I Want to Work?

[Orb]

I can't seem to figure this out. I start off my mornings with meditation or exercise, have some green tea, but still throughout the day don't feel like working. I'll also start off sometimes with journaling which feels great, yet still throughout the work day I'm not doing much. 

 

Sometimes I get scared ill get fired, my mind dozes off and I miss a lot of meetings. I also forget a lot of the lingo around here so I find myself not joining in the conversation during meetings.

 

I also work from home which makes it easy to doze off. I get work done but it's like the bare minimum. 

 

I've seriously considered ordaining as a zen monk, seems like the dream life, everyone serving each other, and no longer having to rationalize to myself that it's okay for me to be making good cash off a bs job while other ppl starve on the streets. 

 

But then again I am tempted by the riches of society, I could become rich and have a family and all the capitalistic ideal stuff, or become a monk and experience community and Love with other monks.

 

If I feel lazy all day to do work then I can't see myself living like this for decades. 

Edited March 17 by Orb

[Orb]

Like right I have work but I'm not interested in any of it, I'm falling behind on tasks that I gotta keep tabs on. Isn't it great? 

[Mandy]

@Orb You are not a tractor trailer. You don't even take up space. 

 

You do not need a lot of space and planning to turn around in the other direction.

Just do it now. 

[Orb]

@Mandy my head is too cloudy. My head feels heavy and im yawning. 

[Mandy]

@Orb Go wash your face with cold water, write down three words of how you want to feel, set the timer for 15 minutes and work as efficiently as you can. Then come back to the three words, and write an idea that occurs to the right of each one. 

[Orb]

@Mandy I think I'm going through porn withdrawal bc I have heavy brain fog and I feel really irritated. And no I don't wanna have the "porn isn't bad" discussion please. Sorry im an asshole rn. I love you 💙

Edited March 17 by Orb

[Mandy]

@Orb I love you too.

 

Why anything? Because, because, because, because, because, because. 

 

 

[Orb]

@Mandy im just not feeling good rn, im going through healing from this. I keep tjinking about beating up people who bullied me, there must be justice! 

 

man im derailing this thread. Im unstable rn.

[Mandy]

@Orb Don't think, just do it. 

21 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Orb Go wash your face with cold water, write down three words of how you want to feel, set the timer for 15 minutes and work as efficiently as you can. Then come back to the three words, and write an idea that occurs to the right of each one. 

 

[Orb]

@Mandy there isn't a magic pill, you're either born with a work ethic or not. I wasnt born with one. 

 

the ability to complete tasks is taken for granted by people who were instilled with a work ethic. 

 

it's not easy to just do things everyday, but I don't think most people can understand this. 

[Mandy]

@Orb At three months old I was mowing lawns, owned stocks, ran my own company as a long haul trucker and had a successful side hustle of making people smile. Obviously you are right, you are completely inferior. 

[Orb]

Just now, Mandy said:

@Orb At three months old I was mowing lawns, owned stocks, ran my own company as a long haul trucker and had a successful side hustle of making people smile. Obviously you are right, you are completely inferior. 

You see what I mean?!

[Mandy]

@Orb Did you actually read that comment? 

[Orb]

@Mandy in all seriousness, some people just work and have always worked. I'm not wired that way. 

 

since i was a child i was yelled at by family bc I'd never get homework done on time or pay attention in class. 

 

The idea of working or doing things is atrocious. Depressing really. I just wanna play video games, have sex with a hot girl, eat food, and do drugs. 

[Orb]

1 minute ago, Mandy said:

@Orb Did you actually read that comment? 

Yes I read it I was joking

[Mandy]

4 minutes ago, Orb said:

The idea of 

That's the problem. 

4 minutes ago, Orb said:

Yes I read it I was joking

Oh good. I was concerned. 

 

Seriously, if I were you I would just go do this,

52 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Orb Go wash your face with cold water, write down three words of how you want to feel, set the timer for 15 minutes and work as efficiently as you can. Then come back to the three words, and write an idea that occurs to the right of each one. 

instead of arguing for your ridiculous inferiority.

 

It's so easy, it's so easy, it's so easy. 

[Orb]

@Mandy okay fine. I'll do it later, first I must feast.

[Joseph Maynor]

Maybe you're not around other people who are also working.  This happens to people who work from home like me.  It's bad enough to be alone but to be in my house it's hard to work.  I work best when I go to the law library -- I get more done in 2 hours than 2 days!  It's because of set and setting.  Something happens when I get around others that are working that makes it a ton easier to work.

Edited March 17 by Joseph Maynor

[Jonas Long]

1 hour ago, Orb said:

I can't seem to figure this out. I start off my mornings with meditation or exercise, have some green tea, but still throughout the day don't feel like working. I'll also start off sometimes with journaling which feels great, yet still throughout the work day I'm not doing much. 

 

Sometimes I get scared ill get fired, my mind dozes off and I miss a lot of meetings. I also forget a lot of the lingo around here so I find myself not joining in the conversation during meetings.

 

I also work from home which makes it easy to doze off. I get work done but it's like the bare minimum. 

 

I've seriously considered ordaining as a zen monk, seems like the dream life, everyone serving each other, and no longer having to rationalize to myself that it's okay for me to be making good cash off a bs job while other ppl starve on the streets. 

 

But then again I am tempted by the riches of society, I could become rich and have a family and all the capitalistic ideal stuff, or become a monk and experience community and Love with other monks.

 

If I feel lazy all day to do work then I can't see myself living like this for decades. 

You couldn't live the same way for decades if you tried.  Change happens. 

 

Also don't beat yourself up about this, human beings weren't designed for capitalism.  9-5 culture is a sickness.  You might just be less sick than those who don't ever question it.

[Jonas Long]

@Orb or you could just bang on a drum all day?