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noomii

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Everything posted by noomii

  1. Ugh yeah I used to think a lot about "pros and cons" in the past regarding decisions but I think it makes me too focused on thoughts and believing there's a good/bad choice
  2. I feel worry about how I think I need to apply for studies. The last day to apply is tomorrow for most but for some you have more time. I have an opportunity to get double support with money for one year, not needing to pay it back. But I won't get it if I decide to work, it's just support to get out of unemployment. I just don't know what I want to study. I don't think I'm capable to read much at all, but that can change. I have looked at more practical studies. I just feel worry that I will look back to this later and think I made a mistake to not apply for anything. I think I could look more for studies I want right now, but I just feel a lot of worry and effort about looking for what I want and applying for anything. I just want to avoid all of this because of how it feels, but I don't want to make a mistake. Is it better to not take action or make decisions when there is doubt or any discordant emotion? To instead focus on alignment, and to let what I want come effortlessly?
  3. I had my first meeting since january today with my psychologist. I have repeated the same things and he asked the same things. I'm not sure if I want to see him but I don't know what to do if I wouldn't. I have had the worst period pain ever today, I felt so incredibly exhausted and didn't have appetite for dinner. I feel so incredibly isolated and misunderstood by people around me. I feel really stuck here and that things are not working for me. Seems kind of obvious that I need to relax and let go but it just doesn't work. I have also thought that my adrenals are stressed out from chelation, so I thought that's maybe why I feel the way I do and that I need to support them more.
  4. I don't feel like using the emotional scale anymore. It just feels like a burden everyday. It feels much easier to just acknowledge and allow emotions as they appear. I don't really understand fully why using the emotional scale is better than that, or if it is. Either way I don't seem to be feeling better no matter what I do. I feel kind of desperate wanting help. I don't know what to write, I just feel so much worry. I want to spend more time questioning thoughts but I feel so much worry and want to relax. I don't want work and effort. I don't know what to do. It feels difficult to even write on here because of feeling a lot of worry, breathing shallow and really not thinking clearly. Then I sit and ground myself over and over like now but that doesn't work.
  5. Do you mean the belief behind the discordant thoughts could be "I can't" or "it's too difficult" ? Is that meant as a belief behind the thoughts? Not great. What comes up is that you have said that what doesn't feel great is not true. But just hearing that doesn't really change anything if I'm not questioning the belief
  6. I don't think I'm going on a diet. I'm going to let go of the rules, tune into feeling and eat intuitively. I thought about making a list of foods that feel good that I can eat but honestly most food feel off or nauseous, I don't feel drawn to any food that I have in mind. First meal today I ate some meat with tomato sauce, mushrooms and carrots, broccoli, haricot verts, khol rabi, avocado. Khol rabi and avocado felt okay but I didn't feel drawn to it. Rest of it I felt nausea by. Meat felt heavy and I felt disgusted by it. Second meal I ate one brazil nut, one apple, a lot of dates and a little bit of carrots, broccoli, haricot verts. Brazil nut felt ok but not drawn to it. Apple felt nausea. Dates felt better than apple but then I felt pain from eating too much. The rest of the veggies I felt nausea. Not sure where to go from here. I think I'm going to pinterest or youtube for inspiration maybe.
  7. I have felt so much nausea lately, I really need to change my diet again. I only ate one small meal yesterday, felt a lot of nausea while eating and then later right after I did the emotional scale stomach acid came up in my mouth. I don't think I can eat any fruits right now, at least not banana, orange, apples or dates. I think I'm going to do an anti-fungal diet, but I feel discouragement about it. From my experience it only worked while I was on it and it feels very challenging to exclude so much food from my diet. I get really confused by people's different opinions about what I should do to heal. If I just follow what feels good for me then it seems like anti-fungal diet is the closest to what fits me? I have been tempted to do the medical medium cleanse but I feel a lot of resistance about that.
  8. Shame is a concept. It was insecurity that I tried to point to with the word shame. I don't know, I haven't tried what you said and I don't feel like it right now. I'm not sure. I have used the emotional scale daily since the last post. Not always the whole scale. A lot of frustration. But I'm trying to be more relaxed and I'm more open to letting go of the resistance to using it.
  9. Because I haven't lived up to expectations and what I believe I should do, I feel ashamed to even share about it. Then I feel worry thinking I need to prove my worth with taking more action. Then I feel overwhelment and avoid action. Then the cycle repeats with guilt. I'm going to try out the emotional scale again
  10. About what's said there it's guilt I think
  11. Sorry I don't know why I replied like that to the question. I don't know who is saying it or who the the thought is about. What I believe is me I guess No Unacknowledged thoughts? When I've used the scale I've been mindful of how these thoughts about the scale feels like. But I've not been relaxed, I've been tense, having tics and not still.
  12. The one that is about. Have you been able to use it as a daily habit without feeling like it's full of effort? (Starting from the lower end of the scale and all the way up) Usually when I start a new habit I start with a very small step and slowly do more of it each day, which makes it feel easy as I get used to it. I have tried that with emotional scale but from what I remember it felt like a burden when doing that too.
  13. I have given up on the emotional scale, it just takes so much effort to maintain it as a daily habit 😕 Also if one says "relax" while meditating (basic relaxation), isn't that just contributing to thought-activity? I have skipped that part.
  14. I've been doing my body scan like the instruction that you shared. Maybe it's just about letting go of all these thoughts about meditation and feeling sensation.
  15. She had gone to several different schools & trainings. I met her at a functional medicine clinic where they do comprehensive testing. The protocols she shared with me didn't work for me, I don't know if it means she was not worth working with.
  16. 🙏❤️ Would not say I'm quick to respond, definitely nothing personal 😂 I do body scan now, either the muscle don't relax or it tense up later again. I'm not trying to relax, I just let it happen naturally while I keep focus, but it doesn't. Sometimes when I try to have a very relaxed approach to meditation I focus a lot less because it seems like when I focus I tense up. Is it right to just go back to focus, to not care about any thoughts about relaxation/tension and just let the tension be? Instead of trying to relax?
  17. Last night I dreamt I was being attacked by a bear 😂 I stood by a swing and it ran towards me. First I thought I could climb up on top of the swing but I felt too weak. I thought I'm just going to face it, I was aware it was a dream when the bear suddenly looked like a big teddy bear. Then it attacked and crushed me with it's weight and I was mindful of how it felt. I wished I would wake up. I didn't die and later the bear was going to do something with me, I don't remember what. I seemed to forget that it was a teddy bear or that it was a dream. Then later on from what I remember I think I turned out to be a non verbal disabled kid. Then I met my uncle, and I was not sure if he recognized me.
  18. I thought they were the same. Both feel difficult to me. To let it go. I'm good as I am feels better. I'd rather say I'm perfect as I am but it sounds like I'm full of myself. Good. It makes sense yes. . I was not on the group call, but I read about it here and since then I ask that daily in my journal. What I write is usually the same and mostly it haven't changed how I have felt during the day. Yes and I have read through that list before too. I just feel very uninspired and confused about what practice that's right for me, same with all of the meditations. Doubt and boredom maybe. I experience the same difficulty with all mindfulness meditations, not just the breath. Idk I don't even feel relaxed even though I think I do it the right way now. The forgiveness meditation seems like a good one, but it seems like it's harder to stay focused and that it's not fit for a daily morning meditation, that's questionable though. Thank you 🙏
  19. I meant any information he shares here on the forum, youtube or his website. Makes me curious about what method you use to let go of beliefs, that have offered you lasting improvement and that you consider not to be spiritual bypassing. No but that's not the only source of heavy metals. I've already been working with a holistic nutritionist a few years ago when I thought the root cause for most symptoms I experienced was SIBO, dysbiosis etc. We didn't do any special diets because I still experienced issues with orthorexia. She just told me it's most important I cut out dairy, gluten and that I eat the rainbow everyday (foods with all colors). I'm not interested in seeing a practitioner and I'm mainly focused on emotional healing right now.
  20. 🙏😂 What about the other bars that don't feel good?
  21. What content Phil shares is spiritual bypassing? In what way is the gut disorders the cause of what I shared in the OP or other problems I experience that you have in mind? I know there's sources saying brainfog, anxiety and depression can be caused by digestive issues. I don't think it's the root cause anymore, but maybe I'm wrong. I'm also doing Andy Cutlers protocol for heavy metals, which they say is causing all sorts of things, including digestive issues.
  22. Thanks I will take a look at it 🙂
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