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Not wanting to get out of bed


Kevin
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It seems like every day that I am productive I build up positive momentum throughout the day. Sometimes I’ll have a really good day and by bedtime I’m feeling amazing. The problem is the next morning that good mood is usually gone. When I wake up most mornings I just want to keep sleeping. Part of me wants to stay there asleep the whole day. Usually I drag myself out of bed I’ll stretch and meditate and go to jiu jitsu and that will usually have me feeling at least ok. Sometimes I’ll feel great.

the main issue is that I want to be excited about getting out of bed. There have been times in my life where I was excited in the mornings. I miss experiencing that. I’m tired of having to force myself to get out of bed and start my day.

I want to be inspired.

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42 minutes ago, Mandy said:

I'm reading this like, "damn that's a really good thing to want, to write on the dream board etc". That it is a problem that that isn't how this morning started doesn't mean that it will be like that tomorrow morning. 

Damn actually you made me think of something. Part of why it was hard to get out of bed is the thinking that it’s just gonna be like that tomorrow morning and the morning after etc.

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4 hours ago, Mandy said:

I'm inspired. 🙂 I've been oversleeping, not real thrilled about that, wondering why, and when I read your thread it was like a lightning bolt of clarity. So thanks. How awesome that we're all in this together.  😁

It’s great. I’m stoked for you!

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15 hours ago, Kevin said:

It seems like every day that I am productive I build up positive momentum throughout the day.

The thought about being productive feels great, but there’s no producer. Keep noticing thought of time, and a separate self in thought / in time. Look for that separate self, notice “it” is just the thoughts about there being time & separate selves. 

 

15 hours ago, Kevin said:

Sometimes I’ll have a really good day and by bedtime I’m feeling amazing.

Where is that someone these thoughts are about? Notice thoughts of claiming seem to support there being a separate self. It’s very subtle… “I’ll have”. 

 

15 hours ago, Kevin said:

The problem is the next morning that good mood is usually gone. When I wake up most mornings I just want to keep sleeping. Part of me wants to stay there asleep the whole day. Usually I drag myself out of bed I’ll stretch and meditate and go to jiu jitsu and that will usually have me feeling at least ok. Sometimes I’ll feel great.

the main issue is that I want to be excited about getting out of bed. There have been times in my life where I was excited in the mornings. I miss experiencing that. I’m tired of having to force myself to get out of bed and start my day.

I want to be inspired.

Honesty is not surprising related so to speak to Truth. Innocence as well. The “problem” is believing the thought that you wake up in the morning… which is contingent on believing the thought that you slept. Inspect direct experience and see there is no sleep ‘in it’ ever found. Find these ‘parts of you’, and you’ll see - all “parts” are just thoughts that there are parts. There are never parts found in perception & sensation. Nor a you which sleeps. 

 

How can a day be whole while you’re vibrationally appearing as a day? 

How can there be a you which is excited, while you’re vibrationally appearing as a you? 

Uncover. Nothing need be added. 

 

“There have been times in my life”. 

😂

Whatever you say Mya. 

😂

“I’m tired of having to force myself”. 

Gold. Better than Chris Rock. 

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4 hours ago, Phil said:

The thought about being productive feels great, but there’s no producer. Keep noticing thought of time, and a separate self in thought / in time. Look for that separate self, notice “it” is just the thoughts about there being time & separate selves. 


 

I was thinking about how to respond and I noticed I have some attachment good feeling thoughts about myself. Thoughts like I did good in jiu jitsu or I had a productive day. Do you think that’s a problem?

 

4 hours ago, Phil said:

Where is that someone these thoughts are about? Notice thoughts of claiming seem to support there being a separate self. It’s very subtle… “I’ll have”. 


 

True.

 

4 hours ago, Phil said:

Honesty is not surprising related so to speak to Truth. Innocence as well. The “problem” is believing the thought that you wake up in the morning… which is contingent on believing the thought that you slept. Inspect direct experience and see there is no sleep ‘in it’ ever found. Find these ‘parts of you’, and you’ll see - all “parts” are just thoughts that there are parts. There are never parts found in perception & sensation. Nor a you which sleeps. 


 

I see what you’re saying. I’m a little confused though because it seems like I really enjoy sleep. Not that I am there in sleep enjoying it but after the fact I really appreciate it. Also there is a difference between sleeping soundly and having a bad nights sleep. For example, last night I kept getting woken up and I didn’t sleep enough. Now upon waking up I’m exhausted a little irritable.

Also my body is often in a state of stress and tension and I crave sleep sometimes because it’s the only time there is peace.

are you saying that there is sleep but no one goes to sleep or wakes up?

4 hours ago, Phil said:

How can a day be whole while you’re vibrationally appearing as a day? 

How can there be a you which is excited, while you’re vibrationally appearing as a you? 

Uncover. Nothing need be added. 


 

I’ll have to ponder this.

4 hours ago, Phil said:

“There have been times in my life”. 

😂

Whatever you say Mya. 

😂

“I’m tired of having to force myself”. 

Gold. Better than Chris Rock. 
 

😂

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1 hour ago, Kevin said:

I was thinking about how to respond and I noticed I have some attachment good feeling thoughts about myself. Thoughts like I did good in jiu jitsu or I had a productive day. Do you think that’s a problem?

You are (the) good feeling, and there isn’t a separate self thoughts are about. 

 

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

I see what you’re saying. I’m a little confused though because it seems like I really enjoy sleep. Not that I am there in sleep enjoying it but after the fact I really appreciate it. Also there is a difference between sleeping soundly and having a bad nights sleep. For example, last night I kept getting woken up and I didn’t sleep enough. Now upon waking up I’m exhausted a little irritable.

Also my body is often in a state of stress and tension and I crave sleep sometimes because it’s the only time there is peace.

are you saying that there is sleep but no one goes to sleep or wakes up?

No, I’m saying there is literally no such things as sleep. 

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3 hours ago, Phil said:

You are (the) good feeling, and there isn’t a separate self thoughts are about. 


 

gotcha.

3 hours ago, Phil said:

No, I’m saying there is literally no such things as sleep. 

I’m pretty confused on this one. I don’t see that at all. I’ve never experience sleep but some mornings I wake up well rested and sometimes I wake up grumpy and that feels very tied to how much I slept that night.

Also say you are correct and there is no sleep. How is it freeing or good to know this? You are very directly telling me there is no sleep so it must be important somehow?

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1 hour ago, Kevin said:

I’ve never experience sleep but some mornings I wake up well rested and sometimes I wake up grumpy and that feels very tied to how much I slept that night.

Also say you are correct and there is no sleep. How is it freeing or good to know this? You are very directly telling me there is no sleep so it must be important somehow?

It’s relevant to suffering, seeking, and the end of suffering & seeking.

Not much can be said to ultimately be known about you. But aspects are certain. You are you. Whatever you are, it is self evident that you are, you. 

And, you are not two. This is also self evident. You never experience another you. Thoughts about a separate self perhaps, but never an actual ‘second you’. 

You are… and you are not, two. 

Asleep & awake, would be two. 

But you are not, two. 

 

An infinite being, being infinite… is not two. Therein if there is to be experience, infinite being must be said experience. In being experience, infinite being inherently forgets itself. Specifically, it’s own infinitude, true nature, and inherent self-knowing… that it is, infinite.

 

In the sense of following the breadcrumbs Home, remembering your infinitude & true nature… 

In direct experience there is awake, or, wakefulness. In direct experience there is no sleep. 

 

Yet for the body, which is experienced, there indeed seems to be awake & asleep. 

But not for you. For you, there are not two. 

 

Seems like there’s all kinds of ‘twos’. Hot & cold, up & down, inside & outside, life & death, etc.

None of these apply to you. 

 

 

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44 minutes ago, Phil said:

It’s relevant to suffering, seeking, and the end of suffering & seeking.

Not much can be said to ultimately be known about you. But aspects are certain. You are you. Whatever you are, it is self evident that you are, you. 

And, you are not two. This is also self evident. You never experience another you. Thoughts about a separate self perhaps, but never an actual ‘second you’. 

You are… and you are not, two. 

Asleep & awake, would be two. 

But you are not, two. 


 

I’m following what your saying here.

44 minutes ago, Phil said:

An infinite being, being infinite… is not two. Therein if there is to be experience, infinite being must be said experience. In being experience, infinite being inherently forgets itself. Specifically, it’s own infinitude, true nature, and inherent self-knowing… that it is, infinite.


 

 

 

44 minutes ago, Phil said:

In the sense of following the breadcrumbs Home, remembering your infinitude & true nature… 

In direct experience there is awake, or, wakefulness. In direct experience there is no sleep. 

 

I’m with you. This makes sense.

44 minutes ago, Phil said:

Yet for the body, which is experienced, there indeed seems to be awake & asleep. 

But not for you. For you, there are not two. 

 

Seems like there’s all kinds of ‘twos’. Hot & cold, up & down, inside & outside, life & death, etc.

None of these apply to you. 

 

 

Mainly what’s been coming up a lot lately is anxiety and fear when thinking about these topics. I have faith it’s all good though. Thinking about this stuff probably isn’t gonna cut it. I’m sure if I realized what you are trying to communicate I would be stoked

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12 hours ago, Kevin said:

Mainly what’s been coming up a lot lately is anxiety and fear when thinking about these topics. I have faith it’s all good though. Thinking about this stuff probably isn’t gonna cut it. I’m sure if I realized what you are trying to communicate I would be stoked

If you don’t realize what I’m trying to communicate, how are you sure that if you did you would be stoked?

Sounds like Madness, no? 

 

Likewise, if there is anxiety & fear when thinking about these topics… why have faith, as compared to inspecting what about the thoughts feels like anxiety & fear? 

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4 hours ago, Nahm said:

If you don’t realize what I’m trying to communicate, how are you sure that if you did you would be stoked?

Sounds like Madness, no? 

 

Likewise, if there is anxiety & fear when thinking about these topics… why have faith, as compared to inspecting what about the thoughts feels like anxiety & fear? 

I don’t know. Everyone who talks about enlightenment makes it sound great. Whenever I think about it I experience ruminating thoughts about loneliness and the pointlessness of it all. Since may 2020 I’ve had a very difficult time. Depressed a lot and debilitating anxiety. I thought enlightenment was my only hope because things sucked so bad. Through meditation and journaling things have gotten better and I’ve had glimpses of happiness. But I often go through depressive periods. I also am aware that all that is just a story but it feels relevant to express.

 

Good point further inspection seems to be the way to go. When I wrote my last reply I just felt kinda stuck and didn’t know what to do.

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3 hours ago, Kevin said:

I don’t know. Everyone who talks about enlightenment makes it sound great.

Enlightenment is unthinkably & unbelievably great, exactly the same as you are unthinkably & unbelievably great. Enlightenment also doesn’t know, and there is no such thing as coincidences. 

 

3 hours ago, Kevin said:

Whenever I think about it I experience ruminating thoughts about loneliness and the pointlessness of it all.

Enlightenment isn’t an it, as in an object, exactly the same as you are not an it, as in an object.

Enlightenment is precisely that there aren’t physical separate objects, nor a separate self which thinks.

 

You have never actually thought about enlightenment because that isn’t possible. Whatever the content of those thoughts is, that isn’t enlightenment, because enlightenment is already what’s appearing as thoughts. 

 

When you say you think about enlightenment, you’re actually thinking about a past experience, and mistaking that experience for enlightenment. As if ‘you reached it’ and it wasn’t what you’d hoped for. The finite mind can not understand, and therein can not understand that enlightenment can not be reached by the finite mind. Therein lies all the suffering, depression, loneliness, anxiety and pointlessness. These are all beliefs which support that ‘you reached it’ and it ‘sucked’. 

 

3 hours ago, Kevin said:

Since may 2020 I’ve had a very difficult time. Depressed a lot and debilitating anxiety. I thought enlightenment was my only hope because things sucked so bad.

You’re not in time, you’re believing thoughts about a separate self in time. 

 

Things don’t actually exist, so the suckness can’t rightfully be attributed to things. This is so to speak, just lazy thinking. 

 

Hope is aversion from feeling right now. What’s meant is I hope I’ll feel better in a future. Which also doesn’t exist. 

 

Inspect discordant thoughts rather than settling for believing them. 

Explore feeling rather than settling for self conceptualizations. 

 

When a day comes you see I could use a zen slap, please be swift & without hesitation. Thank you.  🙂

3 hours ago, Kevin said:

Through meditation and journaling things have gotten better and I’ve had glimpses of happiness.

There is no separate self which had glimpses of happiness. 

Happiness glimpses through self referential thoughts like the sun glimpses through clouds. 

Clouds never glimpse the sun. 

 

3 hours ago, Kevin said:

But I often go through depressive periods. I also am aware that all that is just a story but it feels relevant to express.

If you were aware it is thoughts, there would be no relevance. Refrigerator, hammer, tomorrow, also thought.

If you go through depressive periods… who or what is present right now, aware of these thoughts about a self which is in time & goes through periods? 

 

3 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

Good point further inspection seems to be the way to go. When I wrote my last reply I just felt kinda stuck and didn’t know what to do.

🙂. Keep questioning until there sincerely, legitimately, satisfactorily aren’t any. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Phil said:

Enlightenment is unthinkably & unbelievably great, exactly the same as you are unthinkably & unbelievably great. Enlightenment also doesn’t know, and there is no such thing as coincidences. 

 

Enlightenment isn’t an it, as in an object, exactly the same as you are not an it, as in an object.

Enlightenment is precisely that there aren’t physical separate objects, nor a separate self which thinks.

 

You have never actually thought about enlightenment because that isn’t possible. Whatever the content of those thoughts is, that isn’t enlightenment, because enlightenment is already what’s appearing as thoughts. 

 

When you say you think about enlightenment, you’re actually thinking about a past experience, and mistaking that experience for enlightenment. As if ‘you reached it’ and it wasn’t what you’d hoped for. The finite mind can not understand, and therein can not understand that enlightenment can not be reached by the finite mind. Therein lies all the suffering, depression, loneliness, anxiety and pointlessness. These are all beliefs which support that ‘you reached it’ and it ‘sucked’. 


 

I needed to hear this this makes a lot of sense.

1 hour ago, Phil said:

You’re not in time, you’re believing thoughts about a separate self in time. 

 

Things don’t actually exist, so the suckness can’t rightfully be attributed to things. This is so to speak, just lazy thinking. 

 

Hope is aversion from feeling right now. What’s meant is I hope I’ll feel better in a future. Which also doesn’t exist. 


 

Makes sense. I hope things will be better in the future. The implication being things right now suck.

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Inspect discordant thoughts rather than settling for believing them. 

Explore feeling rather than settling for self conceptualizations. 

 

When a day comes you see I could use a zen slap, please be swift & without hesitation. Thank you.  🙂

There is no separate self which had glimpses of happiness. 

Happiness glimpses through self referential thoughts like the sun glimpses through clouds. 

Clouds never glimpse the sun. 

 

If you were aware it is thoughts, there would be no relevance. Refrigerator, hammer, tomorrow, also thought.

If you go through depressive periods… who or what is present right now, aware of these thoughts about a self which is in time & goes through periods? 


 

I would say I am. But there can’t be two of me.

Also I guess there is more to it. I say I know it’s just thoughts but they are still affecting me. Perhaps because even thought they are just thoughts I believe they are indicating something true about experience.

1 hour ago, Phil said:

🙂. Keep questioning until there sincerely, legitimately, satisfactorily aren’t any. 

 

 

Thanks a lot for taking the time to write all this stuff out. It is very much appreciated. Probably I need to meditate more instead of trying to logic all this out.

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2 hours ago, Kevin said:

Makes sense. I hope things will be better in the future. The implication being things right now suck.

Nailed it. Even more so maybe… I’ll feel better in a future. 

It might be radical honesty, Idk, but what if you literary just said, everything is awesome right now? You’d probably feel source sayin FUCKING YEP!  Gotta keep in mind source has no idea what a “future” is. 

 

2 hours ago, Kevin said:

I would say I am. But there can’t be two of me.

Also I guess there is more to it. I say I know it’s just thoughts but they are still affecting me. Perhaps because even thought they are just thoughts I believe they are indicating something true about experience.

If thoughts are affecting you… who or what is feeling the thoughts?                       (Pssst…. It’s you)

Who cares what thoughts are true and what thoughts aren’t, right? 

If all you care about is how you feel, everything starts workin out magically. 

Cause it’s just true. All you care about is how you feel. 

Think like. Talk like it. Be like it. 

That’s really just being your totally awesome as you are however you are right now self. 

 

2 hours ago, Kevin said:

Thanks a lot for taking the time to write all this stuff out. It is very much appreciated. Probably I need to meditate more instead of trying to logic all this out.

Anytime & thank you. 🙏 

You don’t need to meditate though really, right? It’s just the most direct “path” that could ever possible be. Not that you shouldn’t, but ‘need to’ kinda implies something wrong or needs to be fixed. I think the Bible says “wherever the thoughts are let go, there I Am”. Or something like that. 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Phil said:

Nailed it. Even more so maybe… I’ll feel better in a future. 

It might be radical honesty, Idk, but what if you literary just said, everything is awesome right now? You’d probably feel source sayin FUCKING YEP!  Gotta keep in mind source has no idea what a “future” is. 


 

Nothing is needed at all. So I guess any thoughts about something being needed to feel good are discordant. I wondering what goes wrong. I wonder why we get so tangled up and confused.

 

 

3 hours ago, Phil said:

If thoughts are affecting you… who or what is feeling the thoughts?                       (Pssst…. It’s you)

Who cares what thoughts are true and what thoughts aren’t, right? 

If all you care about is how you feel, everything starts workin out magically. 

Cause it’s just true. All you care about is how you feel. 

Think like. Talk like it. Be like it. 

That’s really just being your totally awesome as you are however you are right now self. 


 

It’s true on a deep level all anyone cares about is feeling good. It’s interesting how tangled up in concepts and goals that becomes when it can actually be so simple.

 

3 hours ago, Phil said:

Anytime & thank you. 🙏 

You don’t need to meditate though really, right? It’s just the most direct “path” that could ever possible be. Not that you shouldn’t, but ‘need to’ kinda implies something wrong or needs to be fixed. I think the Bible says “wherever the thoughts are let go, there I Am”. Or something like that. 

 

 

 

Very true. That was the implication for sure when I wrote that.

 

🙏

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7 hours ago, Kevin said:

Nothing is needed at all. So I guess any thoughts about something being needed to feel good are discordant. I wondering what goes wrong. I wonder why we get so tangled up and confused.

Does the thought ‘something goes wrong’ feel perfectly aligned? 

Maybe take the ‘good’ factor out first. 

Is anything whatsoever needed to feel?

Now bring the thought back into the mix, the thought of ‘something going wrong’.

How does that thought feel?

 

7 hours ago, Kevin said:

It’s true on a deep level all anyone cares about is feeling good. It’s interesting how tangled up in concepts and goals that becomes when it can actually be so simple.

For sure. It seems like someone knowns some thing. 

 

7 hours ago, Kevin said:

Very true. That was the implication for sure when I wrote that.

🙂 🙏🏻 

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