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Junky + meditation


fopylo
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I'm quite a clown. What am I even fucking doing?

I'm meditating, doing the practice, yet I still don't do exciting things.

Meditated this morning for 30 minutes. Now it's night.

I've been watching anime, vaping, jerking off and eating bits of junk food.

I was also planning on doing exercise.

Why is this?

Could it be subconscious stress?

Am I feeling the stress of planning a birthday party at my little house?

I'm overthinking.

But fuck this.

What is fricking going on right now?

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Meditation is at least one good thing you did for yourself, thats a good start, and it will help you let go of some of the other things mentioned if you continue. Try to see if you can focus one more area for the next period also to let go or lessen. I would recommend starting with jerking off and watching porn. That is really draining for your energy especially when used a procrastination. Trying to do everything all at once always failed for me, but improving one area will slowly affect other areas. So make small changes as the goal.

 

Imagine how good you will feel and how proud you will be of yourself when you have turned some of those things around. Those are tangible things. More of a not doing than a doing 🙂 

 

 

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@Phil

I don't know man.

Sometime I'd like to be a musician...

I want to someday create music and maybe also with lyrics so some ideas I have...

A song about maybe how life is amazing to me, about friendship, about the times I'm down bored and pessimistic, about change, about youth, about me, how people see me, about inspiration...

I want to be inspiring.

But I don't feel like I'm able to do it now, don't feel ready yet

 

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1 hour ago, fopylo said:

@Phil

I don't know man.

Sometime I'd like to be a musician...

I want to someday create music and maybe also with lyrics so some ideas I have...

A song about maybe how life is amazing to me, about friendship, about the times I'm down bored and pessimistic, about change, about youth, about me, how people see me, about inspiration...

I want to be inspiring.

But I don't feel like I'm able to do it now, don't feel ready yet

 

What would experience be like without all those beliefs? 

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@Phil Oh now I understand what you're saying. This is because you have gotten used to living in this present and know that everything is here and now, so you're basically pointing to it - the realm that contains all thought and beliefs. All those beliefs I've stated happen in thought but it is all here and now created. You're basically saying "how would it feel right now not to have those beliefs?"

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@fopylo

Right on.

But… no one has gotten used to living in this present - no one has ever been anywhere or anytime other than the present.

No one knows that everything is here & now… everything is here & now.

What’s “known” - isn’t.      At all. 

It’s thoughts believed. 

What’s believed, is there is other than the present, and that there are people who know this, and or people who have gotten used to living in the present. 

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