Strangers Answer, What's most painful thing you've been told?

[Mandy]

 

Watching this with the understanding that feeling is guidance is very interesting.  The pain isn't the fault of the person who said what they did (although some of things said to the people in the video were said by others who were clearly projecting their own pain and discordant beliefs), but is guidance that the statement is not true, or not interpreted as true. 

 

[nurthur11]

22 hours ago, Mandy said:

 

Watching this with the understanding that feeling is guidance is very interesting.  The pain isn't the fault of the person who said what they did (although some of things said to the people in the video were said by others who were clearly projecting their own pain and discordant beliefs), but is guidance that the statement is not true, or not interpreted as true. 

 

So basically all one can do is find resolve or guidance from the how one is feeling ? This is like expressing? 

[Mandy]

@nurthur11 Not entirely sure what you're asking, maybe phrase it a bit differently?

 

The resolution that we want only comes from dropping the thoughts that are perpetuating the negative emotion. What most of these people are missing is that suffering is not inflicted upon them by other people's words. In the case of the daughter whose mother pointed out that all her past challenges and struggles were good for her, the daughter is focused on feeling completely invalidated. It may be that the mother isn't willing to listen or let her daughter expression because of her own aversion. Or it may be that the daughter wants to be right more than she wants to feel better. Realizing that past challenges are beneficial can be incredibly empowering. If we didn't glean the gift or lesson from it, the memory keeps coming up. The daughter allows her mother to be the reason or the thought that she continues to feel powerless or continues to feel blame, and thus can only see the challenges and the words her mother spoke in a negative light. 

[Lotus]

My guidance is telling me, F cultural conditioning and focus on your own shit. 🙂

[Eothasian]

But why is there the believing in the first place, that something which isn't perceived by oneself becomes hurtful?

[Mandy]

@Lotus Is there really cultural conditioning at all though?  I think it's cool that the word custom has a double meaning, meaning you make it your own, or meaning what you're expected to do in a certain country, etc. 

[Lotus]

@Mandy

 

Well, the conditioning is "mine" (I slowly but surely really start to dislike the apostrophes 😂) and conditioning could be projected onto others, such as "F cultural conditioning". In that sense, there's just my conditioning and no cultural conditioning.

At the same time, your upbringing and how you were raised are relevant when scrutinizing beliefs, which form the conditioning. I think the term "collective unconsciousness" is being used in the same vein.

[nurthur11]

On 8/18/2022 at 6:49 PM, Mandy said:

@nurthur11 Not entirely sure what you're asking, maybe phrase it a bit differently?

 

The resolution that we want only comes from dropping the thoughts that are perpetuating the negative emotion. What most of these people are missing is that suffering is not inflicted upon them by other people's words. In the case of the daughter whose mother pointed out that all her past challenges and struggles were good for her, the daughter is focused on feeling completely invalidated. It may be that the mother isn't willing to listen or let her daughter expression because of her own aversion. Or it may be that the daughter wants to be right more than she wants to feel better. Realizing that past challenges are beneficial can be incredibly empowering. If we didn't glean the gift or lesson from it, the memory keeps coming up. The daughter allows her mother to be the reason or the thought that she continues to feel powerless or continues to feel blame, and thus can only see the challenges and the words her mother spoke in a negative light. 

@Mandy Your comments answers my questions. Ty )