Self-Abidance

[Loop]

Going to a Reiki One class tomorrow, 

It’ll be nice, I have been mostly spending time indoors lately and it’ll be a decent walk to get to where it’s happening. 🌨️

👁️💫
🤚🏻✋🏻

 

[Loop]

Reiki class was great, warm friendly faces. They were surprised at how young I was, as everyone there was older women. I find I get along more with people who are older than me, one of them exchanged numbers with me so we could talk about a kind of light therapy she is trying to bring to the city, cool! I’m just not interested so much in the things most people my age are interested in, so it was really nice to talk about different healing modalities and energy work topics with people actually interested in it. 

 

The attunement went well I feel, there was a pop in the top vertebra of the neck when the host put her hands on my crown, and now I feel a bit lighter. It was nice practicing on two different people, and having two different people practice on me, got a good sense of the subtle energies. One of them really liked when I had their head in my hands, ☺️ I was intuitively doing vagus never exercises well it was going on I believe. Very gentle vibrations pulsating through my hands into their energy field. Also felt like I could feel another persons energy field transfer into & out of mine when I hand my hands over their body. Psychic communication. 
 

I feel this is a really good foundation for energy work, as it is intuition based. I can let go of the intellectual healing things I know, and then rediscover them intuitively through reiki 🤍 
 

Edited January 7, 2023 by Loop

[Loop]

Time to put the nightmare sphere away for awhile.

 

A door behind you, 

Into the Dark,

Ground flew,

Away to space,

Smack in the face,

Ego-mind,

Trauma-body, 

Neither really,

Find what’s true,

For-you,

& As-is,

No more his,

Story, 

Stormy glass,

Hero’s pass,

Fool’s errand,

Don’t even be staring,

You knows was right,

We can all express without any fight,

Now that is some Clear Light.

 

Edited January 8, 2023 by Loop

[Loop]

Until the eyes settle,

No need for a medal,

Bounce off the barrier,

Suppressing your interior,

Way, exterior away,

Sinking in,

Settle that sense of sin.

 

Repression,

Expression,

Send a message,

To the nuclear test session,

Resting on the mess they made,

Curled up in sense of shame.

 

Bombs that fell,

Ground down,

Turn hell around,

All I can tell,

Listen to a shell.

 

Maybe just your Ecco,

Hey you couldn’t be a reck though,

Just a reflection,

Or perhaps a distraction,

From behind those eyes,

Only Love behind them,

No sign of him.

 

[Loop]

I’m pretty tired of the injury lawsuit my family has been in, it has been going on for now over 7 years. It is so annoying, I can tell everyone has a hard time fully letting go of what happened because they have to return to be proded by lawyers about injuries & liabilities all the time. There is nothing more frustrating then getting your pain & injuries questioned in a setting that isn’t healing focused. 
 

I didn’t get any support after the car accident, was just forgotten about by the heath care system, and I wasn’t in a state to even notice I was being left behind. I didn’t get any rehabilitation, and I couldn’t fight for it because I was too brain dead to notice what was going on. Took me about a month before I realized the person driving tried to blame on me well I was in the coma, the first time I genuinely got upset after waking up again. Took me awhile to navigated again, was constantly walking into walls instead of into doorways, I feel like I’m just now fully stabilized from that. It took a lot of time & focus on healing, but it is worth it. 
 

Back pain used to be so bad I would literally cry if I went to feel it, now it is manageable but still tension, it just isn’t so bad that I have to repress/ suppress it anymore. There is scar tissue and inflammation I feel all the time, really itchy, but I feel all this only gets better as I do more restorative yoga and Tai Chi. 
 

Big thing is the ‘brain fog’ has been starting to clear over the past year.

At its best it feels like a golden light surrounding the head,

I believe I can connect to that energy and create psychic protective healing bubble around me for healing and spiritual protection. The more it is maintained, the less others energies throw mine off. 
 

Edited January 10, 2023 by Loop

[Loop]

Felt a migraine coming on today, I get completely destroyed by them when they happen. First getting them in Jr high school, they would take me like two weeks of recovery after a few days of being bed ridden, & throwing up. They feel like this spiralling nightmare of pain.

 

A few months ago I stopped one from happening by sitting in the dark, in a warm bath doing EMDR & Vagus nerve exercises combined together, as well as just embracing, the pain is the insight, it is showing me what exercises to do and in what order. 
 

Today I stopped this migraine in its tracks through the same methods, pretty awesome. The nerve techniques are very intuitive and subtle, just slight gentle movement of the fingers moving the muscles/ skin at the back of the head. Honestly I don’t know if the manual hands on version can be learned by word/ talking, I feel like they must be done to you/ shown to you by someone who has also been shown them, like some kind of sacrament ☺️

The osteopath who showed them to me is a real psychic magician as well as who she learned from. Masters of healing, deeply appreciating them both. 
 

[Loop]

Your beyond time.

Demons poke you to think about spirituality,

Golden Child just glows wild,

Only seeing angels 😇,

Even if it takes a bit,

From a bite,

To see right.

 

 

[Loop]

You are not the I-thought about being an emotion,

You are experiencing the emotion. 

 

 

 

Reiki works with Source’s ki, and Scott’s system is called KI 😄

He seems to have a good understanding of repression, the barrier to expression (No, I don’t want to feel)

 

[Loop]

I feel like this is what I am more like, an innovator, not as much of a leader. I have a lot of ideas about healing and body awareness, but I don’t really know how to make them accessible to allow other people to understand what I’m talking about. I’m getting better at it though. Thanks @Phil for being such a clear channel, to help clear the thinking. 
 

I really feel for what this guy is saying, growing up I would constantly end up in situations where I would suggest something and everyone would ignore me just to accept it from someone else. School sucked real bad for me, I was a very respectful kid, but expired a lot of bullying, at one point I had a friend, we were only friends with each other for awhile, it’s was fun, I was freeing, but then he found new friends, and those friends didn’t really like me clearly, and my one friend slowly turned to none.
 

They kicked me it the crotch everyday, and I’ll forgive them everyday I need to, and I’ll still see them as friends. Why? Because that is just who I am, I never hurt others, even if they hurt me, I just keep seeing friends, even if they leave me, even if I leave them, I’m crying right now, and it is beautiful, and it is terrifying, and it is Love. 

 

Edited January 9, 2023 by Loop

[Loop]

I really need my own space so I can work on music & deepening healing practices, & to be able to travel to learn from who ever resonates. I appreciate all my family does for me, supporting me well I recover. Though I feel so trapped and cramped living with them, I don’t really have a place where I can go to work on things that I want. They are busy getting to the business to the point where they will finally start making profit (Turn over point would have been sooner, but Covid put an axe into it). I feel like I was completely consumed into what they want for awhile, as I needed years to recover, my teenage years were mostly spent just trying to find healing and be ok in my body. They tried to get me to go to school, essentially felt like they forced me into engineering at a university because that is what they believed would be the best thing for me… this was around a year after the accident, after I barely finished high school with a tutor… They are so conditioned to think school is the one and only way, and we’re so eager to get me out of the house to ‘move on with my life’ when I was in pain every day, my joints jump over each other. NOBODY understands the level of struggle and suffering I went through, then. Nobody. I feel so alone with it. It took years for them to stop trying to get me to go to school all the time. It has only been the past year or so that they finally stopped. I don’t understand what they have gone through either, or anyone, it just upsets me so much, the thought that anyone will or has gone through being thrown around like a used rag as much as I have in my life. 

 

I thought I didn’t have much time left to live then, so I just let whatever happenes happen, couldn’t even think straight. 

 

I feel so trapped in this apartment, and it isn’t nice enough outside anymore for me to read and move around comfortably. Experiencing frustration, feeling it was unfair that I haven’t got any support, for my injuries, I feel so bitter towards modern day society, really compassion, as it is just the blind leading the blind. I tried to move out with a friend, but he wasn’t able to in the end. Sucks. It is so expensive to have a place by myself here. Even with another person the housing prices are at peak, and the income of minimum wage jobs are well, minimum. I don’t want to work a job where my passions will not grow, I don’t want to have all my creative energy taken by having to work 40 hours a week. There is so much passion I want to grow. 
 

I’m trying to build my foundation for life and the same time as healing my body, most people my age had time to do that, most people my age didn’t have a spinal injury & brain injury and barley got any support for it. Experiencing jealousy toward those who haven’t suffered much. Also experiencing compassion for those who have been crushed by these systems, which is literally everyone. I feel like I am simultaneously experiencing a ‘negative’ emotion & a ‘positive’ emotion constantly right now. Like the frustration is actually compassion for all of our suffering, not just me. 
 

I despise this parent-child power dynamic. They don’t listen to me fully, they just always want to try to parent me. When I look into their eyes and I can see the ocean of tears that needs to come up and out. Stop trying to parent me! Please! Just focus on your own health, how do you expect me to learn to be healthy from you when you are constantly focused on me? 
 

I am being too focused on them, they need to find their own path to healing in their own way. This is what happens with the parent-child dynamic, the child can end up trying to parent the parent. Why can’t we just all be family/ friends? Why can’t we all learn from each other? 
 

Im not upset at anyone, just frustrated at the systems & about going through debilitating injuries. I feel so crushed all the time. I just wanna be learning more and be helping people. Really I need time away from my family to heal myself, so I can come into full confidence in my abilities. 

I know so much about how to help them, but it is impossible to without their willingness 😕

 

Ah, family can be a hard topic to write about. Mixed feelings all the time. 

The more I release this stuff, the more compassion builds. I might be frustrated with systems, but that frustration is compassion. Compassion & passion for improving our society, improve our health, finding our Natural Healing Power within us each.

 

When Emotional Guidance is flowing, even ‘physical illnesses’ untangle. The body moves by itself correcting the beliefs/ knots. 

 

Edited January 11, 2023 by Loop

[Loop]

It was nice going to the gym today, 

My shoulder joints are always moving around weird, but there was some kind of connection that was made today where it feels like they are starting to settle down more. The weight of them needs to be resting on top of my hips, but the hip that was fractured is not letting that happen yet. More restorative yoga & Tai Chi to work on that. 

 

[Loop]

Well, now the banking system is fucking me, for some reason my account was connected to someone else card… Is this what I get for complaining about the systems? I just want us all to find deeper healing, and these systems are not built for that. Well good luck with the tiny amount that was in there, hope you enjoy it…
Gotta go to the bank tomorrow to deal with this, so much fun… 

 

What you focus on comes to be. 

May we have growth and healthy systems. 

[Loop]

You know what feels right,

No matter what any said, 

Agitated by fight or flight,

Hurt people hurt people,

Blinded by the night,

In so much pain you scramble for the Sun,

Just to focus on it,

Rather then what is illumined,

Your eyes burn out of their socket,

All the organs fall out of the pockets,

Spaghetti sauce,

Squeezed and tossed.

 

Open towards the Light, 

But look towards your fright, 

Close into that little child,

Shackled by shame gone wild,

Absolutely Innocent,

Awaken and see who the angels sent,

Each of us part of the Family,

God’s lost children,

The Earth’s endlessly found friends. 
 

[Loop]

No people at all,

Just Passion found where we brawl,

This dance of expanse,

Lovers in a trance, 

Brothers finding their way,

Sisters embracing our world, 

Leaders shining the way forward,

Innovators mapping the world around,

Together both can be found,

Neither one left behind,

Emptied out all sense,

Embracing the non-tense,

Past & future just movements of the eyes, 

Here stillness cries, 

Movement laughs away the tries, 

Back up onto the solid Ground,

Both feet compound,

Trajectory spun around,

One eighty degrees,

Hear the Smile sound. 
 

[Loop]

There isn’t empty space in the Perfect Circle,

There isn’t darkness where the light doesn’t touch,

The Light illuminate without a source,

Angels know truth by Heart, 

Their minds sliced by the warmth of Halo,

Hello! Blink a few times child,

It is ok to go wild with your art,

This never had a start,

The stress placed upon you,

Nothing more then a belief in two.

😇🤍

 

[Loop]

Enlightenment is not the end of ego,

Embodiment is not the end of trauma.

 

❤️💚💜

 

There is suffering,

There is the cause, (belief)

There is the end, (Feeling) 

There is the Endless Path Home.

🖤🤍

 

Edited January 12, 2023 by Loop

[Loop]

Back from the gym, a bit of friendly boxing with my good friend. I appreciate him a lot, let’s me practice without get clobbered by someone who’s got a big ego. Martial Arts are powerful for healing, I don’t like when I seem them being used for the gain of ego. Use martial arts to find your confidence, strength, & grounding in what is worth fighting for, Love & Healing. 
 

Shoulders getting more sunk into being alined with hips, 

Nothing gets stuck when the Whole is yoked.

 

What is stuck? 
What is unstuck?

What is the wall?

What is the fall? 
What is the embrace,

Enlightenment leaves no trace.

 

Psychedelic tracer,

Heart pacer,

Attack back,

Defend down,

Love will turn around,

Into a hug.

 

They cannot steal,

The Passion is endless,

Fight for The Heal, 

Head Down to Heel.

 

[Loop]

Embracing trauma is the most beautiful thing ever, it is like finding a dying old tree and then giving it all the love you can. When you taste its fruits, there is no other, to just be ok, not needing to search for anything. 
 

There is nothing to atone for, we are all sinners. Lost friends and family, together we shall see, no one alone, no one won, no one lost. We just dance around to enjoy, turn your heads out, dam kids playing in the rain! Get back in here before you catch a cold! No, you come out here before you loose the flames of Heart! Don’t you start! What would?!? I just keep going, with no one there to blow the winds, just letting the sail out. 
 

Relaxed back into the hammock,

Air is chilling, 😎

Wood is willing,

Metal rings hold us down, 

Tides of water bring the round, 

The Earth molten core found.

Soul Purpose, 

Artist Wish,

Author Wrote and Writes,

No duality between,

Past & Future sight. 
 

North Star,

Keep your Eye, 👁️ 

No need for power to fly,

This Solar System ships,

Every planetary hip, 

Ankles grounded sit,

Core found the shift,

Heart’s sound, 

Brings up and down, 

Together,

Neither,

Empty to see,

Feel to be free. 

 

[Loop]

🥚⭐️

 

The Egg is opened & closed, 

My Powers come back to me as a I heal. 
Drunken Master spinning on his heel,

Dancing Healer up from her other real,

Reeling in that dam fool, 

Non-tool, 

Out of the Void,

Into Love. 

Forget it all to return, 

Back to the Children of Earth,

From the Supreme Mother,

Back to the Father, 

From ego’s mental noise,

To the Inclusive Silence,

With no oppose, 

Fight for non-fight, 

Seek for Rest, 

End this manic test, 

Embrace creativities mess.

Devine Artist,

Grounded Scientist, 

No turtles all the way down, 

Just the Earth rising within your mind,

Collapse time, 

Spin on a dime, 

Run Home,

By stalling until the Tone.

 

[Loop]

4 Tear Drops, 3 Hearts. 
😂🤣🥰