I want to sleep with someone

[Alexander]

@Unknown Great that you awaken to Truth. LoA is BS.Don't let those charlatans take your money.

Edited August 11, 2022 by Alexander

[Mandy]

 

14 hours ago, Unknown said:

 I mean all this nonsense has caused me more suffering than any kind of liberation or happiness because of the load of false hope, fantasies, and idealizations that things are "just gonna happen". 

 

 

When you were feeling great about stuff coming, did you in that moment feel suffering or did you simply feel great? When later on you experienced suffering when you considered LOA and how it wasn't working, were you in that moment actually focused and feeling great about things? Your emotion is guidance. If I think a thought about someone I love very much and think about what a piece of shit they are, it feels HORRIBLE! Does the fact that I feel horrible when I think that mean that that person is horrible? NO! Stop taking your discord to be a definitive judgment about the subject at hand. Take everything one moment at a time. Now is all you got. 

 

You do not need to believe in LOA or pin your hopes on LOA. All it is is a consciousness of how your thoughts are creating and how direct the manifestation of emotion is. "I've been at it for three years." No you haven't been. It's not something you do for any length of time whatsoever. 

 

[Someone here]

@Phil so my main problem is I don't have what I want right here right now .although I want it right here right now (I don't want to put on the effort or wait the necessary time until I achieve it ). 

So what is the solution to that ?

[Phil]

@Someone here

If you could have what you want right now, or be happy, which would you pick? 

[ivankiss]

I've been with hookers a few times in my life, when things got really desperate. It's totally fine, I'd say. It can even be a better option than pretending to like someone just to have sex with them.

 

Ideally, you'd find a girlfriend or a fuck buddy, but if that's really not possible for you right now, put aside a bit money and find a hooker. It can even end up being less expensive than taking a girl out lol.

 

Don't know where exactly you live, but I stayed in a third world country before, where sex before marriage is super taboo, and even there there were plenty of hookers. 

 

Good luck.

[Someone here]

52 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Someone here

If you could have what you want right now, or be happy, which would you pick? 

Well it's complicated 😕. Because in my detention getting what I want equals happiness. So they are really the same thing . So I have no choice .either I achieve what I want ASAP or I will be miserable til then.

 

I would find pleasure in achieving a goal. To motivate myself to do better in life I set long term and short term. Speaking from experience it tends to be the goals with no material or monitary value which bring me the euphoria you feel from achievements.

My  motivation is for things for example im sure i would get some pride knowing i aquired the object through hard work and honesty.

 

Although Your other  post made me reconsider my whole approach to the sex thing .like why do i feel like I NEED sex to be happy .every time i have an orgasm ..I feel kinda disillusioned and disappointed..like it wasn't that much of a big deal. 

 

[Someone here]

8 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I've been with hookers a few times in my life, when things got really desperate. It's totally fine, I'd say. It can even be a better option than pretending to like someone just to have sex with them.

 

Ideally, you'd find a girlfriend or a fuck buddy, but if that's really not possible for you right now, put aside a bit money and find a hooker. It can even end up being less expensive than taking a girl out lol.

 

Don't know where exactly you live, but I stayed in a third world country before, where sex before marriage is super taboo, and even there there were plenty of hookers. 

 

Good luck.

It's really hard to find hookers in India. 

[Phil]

4 minutes ago, Someone here said:

in my detention

What’s meant by that?

[ivankiss]

13 minutes ago, Someone here said:

It's really hard to find hookers in India. 

Might be hard but definitely not impossible. In Sri Lanka I was staying in a full blown brothel for a while. There were girls everywhere. I doubt the situation is much different in India. 

[Someone here]

18 minutes ago, Phil said:

What’s meant by that?

Sorry that was a  typo . I meant in my definition. 

[Someone here]

39 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Might be hard but definitely not impossible. In Sri Lanka I was staying in a full blown brothel for a while. There were girls everywhere. I doubt the situation is much different in India. 

Trust me ..the dating situation in India sucks big time . Just yesterday i approached two girls cold approach ..the first one said "leave me alone or I will call the security ".lol.

The next one took my number but didn't call me back .

Girls here are unexperienced and they think being approached is like an insult to them or something they should avoid .

[Phil]

39 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Sorry that was a  typo . I meant in my definition. 

What if you reframe that as, my belief is… or… the thought I’m believing is…

[Someone here]

27 minutes ago, Phil said:

What if you reframe that as, my belief is… or… the thought I’m believing is…

Yes you could frame it that way . I have no problem with how it is worded .the issue remains the same . I believe that I need sex /hot girlfriend to be happy and satisfied. Meanwhile not having one.  

So we started this conversation talking about how to manifest that desire /how to attract a girlfriend. And now it seems like you are leaning more towards convincing me that I don't actually NEED a girlfriend to be happy and that happiness is unconditional and doesn't hinge upon material possessions . 

That might be true From your perspective. Because you are a very spiritual and developed(stage turquoise)

individual and experienced meditator that you can bliss out on nothing.  Or maybe because you've been married for a long time and you take it for granted to have intimate relationship with someone.  All of which are not the case from my POV. I'm pretty much stage orange materialist (I don't mean materialism as a metaphysical ontology, I mean I'm achievement oriented. ). I believe happiness does require achieving our desire in whatever shape or form it may be .

[Phil]

41 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Yes you could frame it that way . I have no problem with how it is worded .the issue remains the same . I believe that I need sex /hot girlfriend to be happy and satisfied. Meanwhile not having one.  

In recognizing it is a belief, the relief from the discord / suffering would be that sex / a girlfriend isn’t needed to be happy, but is wanted in terms of to be experienced. 

This would be a releasing of the mental contingency or condition held upon the very nature of yourself. 

 

Put another way, happiness isn’t ever obtained, but is obscured by beliefs such that happiness could be obtained or found somewhere outside of yourself, such as from a future experience. Put another way, being yourself is attractive / attraction, because unbeknownst to you, you are creating your reality / experience, and are happiness. Being yourself, happiness, and not in need of happiness, is a game changer in terms of attracting / attraction as you mentioned with respect to ‘giving off the immature needy vibe’. 

41 minutes ago, Someone here said:

So we started this conversation talking about how to manifest that desire /how to attract a girlfriend. And now it seems like you are leaning more towards convincing me that I don't actually NEED a girlfriend to be happy and that happiness is unconditional and doesn't hinge upon material possessions . 

I’m not trying to convince you of anything. I have experienced much of what you want to experience, and am sharing from what I’ve found in direct experience. From what I have found works & doesn’t, and communicating a bit on why & how. I’m actually trying to help you to let go of what you don’t prefer, suffering… and to experience what you do prefer, sex & girlfriend. 

41 minutes ago, Someone here said:

That might be true From your perspective. Because you are a very spiritual and developed(stage turquoise)

That’s not true, it’s assumed. I just don’t hold the same belief(s), so it seems like there is a separate self here which is developed / turquoise. SD’s is just a pointing, not actual. 

41 minutes ago, Someone here said:

individual and experienced meditator that you can bliss out on nothing. 

There isn’t a you and a bliss and or nothing. I am nothing. I = nothing. 

Don’t believe me of course, actually inspect and find the separate selves claimed to exist… therein inspecting and dispelling the very beliefs which obscure the truth / true nature of ourself. 

41 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Or maybe because you've been married for a long time and you take it for granted to have intimate relationship with someone. 

Projection just isn’t going to help you with attracting what you want. 

41 minutes ago, Someone here said:

All of which are not the case from my POV. I'm pretty much stage orange materialist (I don't mean materialism as a metaphysical ontology, I mean I'm achievement oriented. ).

Not the case in accordance with some beliefs. SD’s is a model, a pointing. It’s insightful, but you aren’t that. You can certainly be achievement oriented without beliefs / attaching the feeling of yourself to a future outcome. 

41 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I believe happiness does require achieving our desire in whatever shape or form it may be .

Right. What stands to be noticed is that as you say, that is a belief. 🙂

 

[ivankiss]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

Trust me ..the dating situation in India sucks big time . Just yesterday i approached two girls cold approach ..the first one said "leave me alone or I will call the security ".lol.

The next one took my number but didn't call me back .

Girls here are unexperienced and they think being approached is like an insult to them or something they should avoid .

That I understand. But I was talking about prostitutes. I'm sure there's plenty of those. You just have to find them. Maybe travel to a nearby city.

 

However, another thing is, if you're a virgin or had little to no experience with girls before, prostitutes might not be a good option after all. Might do some damage to you. I already had girlfriends and had plenty of sex before trying it out with a prostitute. I'd say that's different. But not necessarily.

 

Do as you know is right for you, deep inside.

[Someone here]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

In recognizing it is a belief, the relief from the discord / suffering would be that sex / a girlfriend isn’t needed to be happy, but is wanted in terms of to be experienced. 

This would be a releasing of the mental contingency or condition held upon the very nature of yourself. 

 

Put another way, happiness isn’t ever obtained, but is obscured by beliefs such that happiness could be obtained or found somewhere outside of yourself, such as from a future experience. Put another way, being yourself is attractive / attraction, because unbeknownst to you, you are creating your reality / experience, and are happiness. Being yourself, happiness, and not in need of happiness, is a game changer in terms of attracting / attraction as you mentioned with respect to ‘giving off the immature needy vibe’. 

But how do I change that belief ? I really am buying into it . I firmly believe that if I don't get a girlfriend in the last few years of my 20s  to come ,that I would have lived a wasted youth. And not lived up to my full potential. 

I guess The key is understanding what i really want and to understand what i really need . Most people never experience the happiness available to them because they never take the time to invest in the most important relationship they have, the one with themselves. They spend time getting stuff that never makes them happy because they don’t know who they are .they don’t know what really causes them to experience happiness. For example, some people would say I want a million dollars. Well what would you do with a million dollars? What need would that money meet, real need? The truth is that people really are looking to meet a fundamental need with the money. “If I buy a house I will feel significant.” is what they are really saying. So significance is really what they want. Now the next question that I would ask is, “what has to happen me to feel significant?” When i dig down into it the truth is that it’s something i couldn't experience right now. So, what i really want is currently available if i only take the time to identify what ireally want based on who I am  and stop chasing bullshit. It’s not that cars and house and other shit is bad but it’s not the primary thing im looking for and while it makes sense that why wait to experience what you really want in the future when you can experience it all the time?  I still haven't figured out how to do it .Guess I have to meditate more and practice letting go, and gratitude. But It has to be genuine gratitude ,not just a substitute for the stuff I believe I need to be happy. 

 

[Phil]

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

But how do I change that belief ?

Contemplating, inspecting, exactly like you are (below).  It really is a joy to see and read my man.

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

 

I really am buying into it . I firmly believe that if I don't get a girlfriend in the last few years of my 20s  to come ,that I would have lived a wasted youth. And not lived up to my full potential. 

I guess The key is understanding what i really want and to understand what i really need . Most people never experience the happiness available to them because they never take the time to invest in the most important relationship they have, the one with themselves. They spend time getting stuff that never makes them happy because they don’t know who they are .they don’t know what really causes them to experience happiness. For example, some people would say I want a million dollars. Well what would you do with a million dollars? What need would that money meet, real need? The truth is that people really are looking to meet a fundamental need with the money. “If I buy a house I will feel significant.” is what they are really saying. So significance is really what they want. Now the next question that I would ask is, “what has to happen me to feel significant?” When i dig down into it the truth is that it’s something i couldn't experience right now. So, what i really want is currently available if i only take the time to identify what ireally want based on who I am  and stop chasing bullshit. It’s not that cars and house and other shit is bad but it’s not the primary thing im looking for and while it makes sense that why wait to experience what you really want in the future when you can experience it all the time?  I still haven't figured out how to do it .Guess I have to meditate more and practice letting go, and gratitude. But It has to be genuine gratitude ,not just a substitute for the stuff I believe I need to be happy. 

 

 

[Someone here]

@Phil so in the end I should be realistic and approach this whole thing (dating and sexuality ) with a litte bit more common sense?..I ain't gonna get super models to sleep with Me magically while lying on my bed all day.  And even then maybe once I achieve it I will be dissatisfied and disillusioned  that it didn't actually make me  happy.

 

Although the human race has evolved to “belong” , so we do fare better when we have interactions and belonging. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic relationship. Mankind evolved to work together and contribute, and that is why modern psychology finds that the more we focus on ourselves, the more neurotic and unhappy we become … but the more we discover the pleasure of sharing with and caring about others, the happier we become. That is how we are hardwired, but it doesn’t have to be romance? 

 

Also one thing I want to ask for your opinion on is hookers  and prostitutes?  Have you had any interaction with them prior to your marriage?  Do you suggest to me to go down this route if I'm desperate for sex as @ivankiss is suggesting to me?  I wanna know what are all the pros and cons and approach the situation mindfully. Yeah I'm a horny boy but I don't wanna catch a STD lol

[Someone here]

38 minutes ago, DMT Elf said:

@Someone here  Don’t you have dating apps in India?

Yea.

[Someone here]

21 minutes ago, DMT Elf said:

 

Never had any luck with them or what?

Yes .I didn't try them too much .it was enough having a conversation with a handful of people to know that this isn't gonna work .

I need to either build a big social circle or continue my cold approaches until I see success. I'm planning to approach 1000 girls .that's my genius plan of how is this gonna work .at least one out of 1000 chances will be on the target .

Wish Me luck .